Category Archives: Personal

I Had A Nervous Breakdown Live On My Cam

Posted on May 30, 2008 by Luke Ford

I got a fit of the giggles while trying to do my voice exercises and imagining what it would be like for a nice Jewish girl to go on a date with her moral leader. Video I plan to have … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged balloons, big brother, dark voice, Emma, ennis, frustration, having sex, hovel, jewish girl, laughter, madness, moral leader, nbsp, nervous breakdown, plants, prime entertainment, punt, roadrunner, tickles, voice exercises | Comments Off

All I Need Is A Little Attention

Posted on May 29, 2008 by Luke Ford

I came home this afternoon feeling down. So down I made a video elucidating all the reasons I hate myself. But now I feel like a million bucks. Why? Because I’m about to eat split pea soup and I got … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged chat room, million bucks, split pea soup | Comments Off

Leah Kleim’s Tantrum In The Monsey Snow

Posted on May 29, 2008 by Luke Ford

From my live cam: KhunDiddy: the usual turgid tunes are being played at The Hovel… RussianDragon: it’s so sweet and sticky palestine4ever: I can perfectly imagine Luke cutting a woman up with a hacksaw as he listens to this song … Continue reading →

Posted in Leah Kleim, Personal | Tagged bitter cold, f king, great music, gun to your head, hacksaw, hotel california, hovel, jewish thing, jim croce, jim croce song, Leah Kleim, memory sticks, mistaken belief, perfect suicide, plastic bags, slacks, tantrum, temp down, unpleasant surprise, whay | Comments Off

At The Top Of Every Hour, I’m Gonna Pop A Balloon Until My Demands Are Met

Posted on May 29, 2008 by Luke Ford

From my live cam: Video palestine4ever: This is literally music that terminally depressed housewives murder children to. BackToBlack: i beg of you KILL ME palestine4ever: I can see Andrea Yates putting on one of Luke’s Mellow Gold K-Tel records and … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged agony, andrea yates, balloon, balloons, beard, bladder, blue eyes, compilation, e card, every ten minutes, gonna pop, haircut, hell, housewives, k tel, lector, live cam, mellow gold, murder children, murderer, Music, nbsp, sweatpants, tap, tv commercials | Comments Off

What Makes A Man Angrier? Sex Deprivation Or Sleep Deprivation?

Posted on May 29, 2008 by Luke Ford

From my chat room: guest8: luke r u depressed that your bd is over? DiscoDuck: he doesn;t look good guest8: he has a hangover or a hangnail guest8: where are the balloons ?? did you pop them? YourMoralLeader: many of … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged amp, anger, balloon, bd, chat room, comic books, day break, deep sleep, discoduck, french child, hangover, Holocaust, kittens, lack of sex, lack of sleep, levi, librarian, neighborhood, passionate sex, reality show, sleep, sleep deprivation, steve wozniak, three books, where are the balloons | Comments Off

Why Do We Give Other People What We Want?

Posted on May 28, 2008 by Luke Ford

I’m sitting in my hovel surrounded by freakin’ balloons. Everywhere I go — which isn’t far in here — I’m tripping over and colliding with balloons. They’re big and bright and blue and they’re wishing me a happy birthday. They’re … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged amp, balloons, barnes amp nobles, birthday cards, Clothes, cold cruel world, commentaries, dirty little secret, gift certificate, happy birthday, hovel, kiss good night, leap, longing, rabbi, three months, Torah, vilna, water bottles, wives and girlfriends | Comments Off

How Do You Make Good People?

Posted on May 28, 2008 by Luke Ford

For the past two months, I’ve had a part-time job — picking up kids from school and driving them home. This time in the car with a load of terrorists (if I don’t give them everything they want, they will … Continue reading →

Posted in Ethics, Personal | Tagged acquaintances, babysitter, belief, common sense, Dennis Prager, divine command, goyim, history of sex, Jews, life hell, moral code, moral education, necessary ingredients, notions, orthodox jews, part time job, pervert, prerequisites, seat belts, seatbelts, socialism, sodomize, spinning globe, travails, weirdo | Comments Off

I Turn 42 May 28

Posted on May 28, 2008 by Luke Ford

Stop by my chat room and wish me a happy birthday! LeahKleim: I got pissed at x LeahKleim: broke a buncha s**t LeahKleim: busted windows LeahKleim: smashed up his car and truck LeahKleim: gashed my arm open on broken glass … Continue reading →

Posted in Leah Kleim, Personal | Tagged admirers, anger management, asthma, bandits, birthday card, breasts, broken glass, chat room, critical acclaim, dry humor, f king, happy birthday, hot body, jewish community, ked, leah, leahkleim, levi, literary endeavors, lol, nbsp, nice ass, passtime, pax, rage, rough sex, tits and ass | Comments Off

Why Are Jews So Crazy?

Posted on May 27, 2008 by Luke Ford

palestine4ever: hello Mr. Luke. palestine4ever: Why are Jews so crazy? palestine4ever: I’m not female but if I was, I still cannot wrap my head around a rabbi seduction fantasy. palestine4ever: Pun intended. palestine4ever: It’s like writing erotic fan fiction about … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged Anti-Semitism, assault with a deadly weapon, basketball fan, beard, bertie ahern, better days, cultural understanding, disco duck, fan fiction, gerald ford, greatest sports, hate crime, humble folks, Jews, nbsp, police report, pun, rabbi, seduction, tall blacks, teenagers, twink, wig | Comments Off

Keep It Comin’ Love

Posted on May 27, 2008 by Luke Ford

I’ve made this important new video celebration of the KC & Sunshine Band 1970s hit. Here’s an instructional video on when to move in for your first kiss. Countersinning: How to Practice Jew-Jitsu on the Devil I fear I’m a … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged 1970s, amp, devil, first kiss, jew, lousy lover, Love, materialism, sunshine band, video celebration | Comments Off