Category Archives: Personal

Stolen Cocoa Krispies Taste Sweeter

Posted on March 8, 2008 by Luke Ford

My Video Blog As I was leaving LimmudLA last month, I was given three boxes of food to take to SOVA to feed the homeless. Figuring that I was only a canceled credit card away from being homeless, I appropriated … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged bad news, cocoa krispies, credit card, crowne plaza, day of redemption, full cry, fundraiser, gangbangers, granola, Homeless, homeless bums, hovel, Israel, jewish expression, jewish singles events, mistaken notion, paypal donations, Purim, rabbi boteach, rabbi shmuley boteach, rejection, rodney dangerfield, Sabbath, saturday morning, shabbat, shabbat dinner, shabbaton, shacharit, shul, three boxes, time today, tiny muscles, town hosts, tzitzit | Comments Off

Live Cam Chat – The Closest You Can Get To Hell Without Being There, You Can Almost Smell The Sulfur

Posted on March 7, 2008 by Luke Ford

You don’t want to miss out. Come see the headquarters of Orthodox Judaism in Los Angeles and the keyboard that makes the rabbis shuckle in their prayers. What better way to prepare for Shabbat than trading inspiring stories with Your … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged agian, beverly hills cop, beverly hills cop 2, bunk beds, concoctions, electrical tape, energy drink, friend mary, green tea, Holly Randall, hovel, inspiring stories, kedem grape juice, listers, mary carey, mold problem, moral leader, old wife, orthodox judaism, plastic containers, remeber, rice milk, shabbat, silly putty, sly stalone, still frame, telefin, wheel chair | Comments Off

I Like Who I Am When I’m Around Certain People

Posted on March 6, 2008 by Luke Ford

Virtually all the people important to me are Orthodox Jews. Around one or two or three of them, I really like who I am. I need to figure out how to expand that. How do I live more of my … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged accidental tourist, core self, honesty, Love, orthodox jews, protagonist, shabbat | Comments Off

I’m Working Out On My Cam!

Posted on March 6, 2008 by Luke Ford

You don’t want to miss this. The cognitive elite are in my chat room, including the mighty Chaim Amalek. Jane: i broke up with the guy i was dating this week YourMoralLeader: oh no, was it over me and my … Continue reading →

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Chaim Amalek Live In My Chat Room!

Posted on March 6, 2008 by Luke Ford

YourMoralLeader: yo My mom (despite having the flu) reflects on her experience March 6 in my chat room: "One thing about your contacts, I can rarely understand what they are on about, but sex is in there somewhere. What’s the … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged apex, black hole, brisk walk, chat room, conversations, digestive track, dsvn, exact number, flu, good gossip, granola, holiness, hovel, Jerusalem, jewess, Jews, live cam chat, lukey, moral leader, moral leadership, nourishment, pasty, plight, terrorist attack, yml | Comments Off

I Need A Virtual Minyan To Complete My Morning Prayers

Posted on March 6, 2008 by Luke Ford

Whether you are a Torah Jew or a righteous Gentile, please join me. I feel like one of those Pharisees in the Gospels who Jesus condemned for praying too loudly on his cam. This morning we will discuss what does … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged gospels, jesus, minyan, morning prayers, pharisees, righteous gentile, torah jew | Comments Off

Sh’ma Ysrael! Watch Luke Ford Live On The Hovel Cam As He Recites His Morning Prayers

Posted on March 5, 2008 by Luke Ford

Join Torah Jews and righteous Gentiles from around the world as we uncover the true meaning of prayer. The things the rabbis never taught you! Please join! I need a virtual minyan (ten men, sheilas don’t count) to say certain … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged bracha, ford, forehead, free pair, gentiles, hovel, Jews, knives, luke ford, meaning of prayer, mental deterioration, minyan, morning prayers, night vision goggles, Rabbis, sidelocks, silence of the lambs, Torah, true hollywood story, true meaning, waist down | Comments Off

I’m Not Doing Anything Obscene On My Webcam

Posted on March 4, 2008 by Luke Ford

I was just checking myself out on my webcam. My face was strained and all screwed up before a happy release. I was rocking in my chair. It looked obscene because you couldn’t see the weights I was working out … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged bill murray, caddyshack, candlelight dinner, chabad rabbi, chat room, golf balls, moral leader, sage, shul, thinker, webcam, weights, workout | Comments Off

Sanctification

Posted on March 2, 2008 by Luke Ford

I’m hearing many inspiring testimonies about the purifying effects of watching me sleep. Please join my online community of like-minded believers in the chat room and be sanctified on this the lord’s day for goyim: YourMoralLeader: there’s something purifying in … Continue reading →

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What Do I Need To Do To Get Back Into Young Israel of Century City/Beth Jacob?

Posted on March 1, 2008 by Luke Ford

I’m sick and when I’m sick I tend to write more honestly than normal. Less bravado and more heart. Not a day goes by without my longing to return to the shuls I used to haunt. Particularly I want to … Continue reading →

Posted in Beth Jacob, Personal, YICC | Comments Off