Live Cam Chat – The Closest You Can Get To Hell Without Being There, You Can Almost Smell The Sulfur

You don’t want to miss out. Come see the headquarters of Orthodox Judaism in Los Angeles and the keyboard that makes the rabbis shuckle in their prayers.

What better way to prepare for Shabbat than trading inspiring stories with Your Moral Leader?

In the chat, Holly Randall says she’s found her future husband. He’s a writer.

I have a mold build problem. I use these 64 oz Kedem grape juice plastic containers to mix my green tea and energy drink concoctions that I sip all day when I’m blogging and stripping on my cam. They quickly develop a mold problem and I have a hard time cleaning it out. Any suggestions?

Curious:  Agian with the flatulent noises.  Luke, are you well?
User guest25 entered the room.
guest25:  I thought of a way to make money off the Hovel Cam
Curious:  Money is good.  How?
guest25:  Install bunk beds in Hovel…get drunk and stoner Jews…Hovel Rehab
Curious:  Is that Luke or a cardboard cut out?  No movement
guest25:  Luke you look like s**t
Curious:  Seen Luke’s drunkie friend Mary Carey of Celebrity Rehab yet?  Sad. Sad. Sad.
Curious:  CFS has frozen his face.
guest25:  you think she’s gonna get rehabbed around that crew. Sly Stalone’s old wife
guest25:  Has been actors and rockers
Curious:  Oi, she looks abou 70!
guest25:  she might have a better chance moving in with Luke
Curious:  Remeber when she was in Beverly Hills Cop 2?  She was smokin’ and now?  Sad
guest25:  nothing like Rice Milk and Peanut Butter to get one off alcahol
User guest26 entered the room.
User guest27 entered the room.
Curious:  Luke is not there.  Just a still frame.  I suspect he is "wacking his carrot"
guest25:  How about that Baldwin guy..another reject
Curious:  They are Z-Listers for sure
Curious:  A-Listers can pay and respect anonimity
guest25:  the guy from Grease OY!
Curious:  In a wheel chair.  So sad
guest25:  Luke did you do your Telefin yet?
guest25:  did I miss another telefin wrap?
Curious:  Luke’s forehead looks like silly putty.  I smell Botox
User guest28 entered the room.
Curious:  His telefin looked lik black electrical tape.  Very cheap.
guest25:  if Luke’s hair gets any thinner he;’ll have nothingto clip his yarlmuka to
User guest28 left the room.
Curious:  That explains the beard.  Bald dudes like to prove they can grow something
YourMoralLeader:  yo
YourMoralLeader:  you missed
User guest29 entered the room.
guest25:  what time do you usally do the telefin thing
YourMoralLeader:  7:30 am
YourMoralLeader:  don’t miss it
YourMoralLeader:   it’s a real crowd drawer
guest29:  doofus
guest25:  I’ll be sure to catch it tomorrow
User guest30 entered the room.
User guest29 left the room.
User guest31 entered the room.
Curious:  Why is your frame frozen, Luke?
guest25:  maybe not…I think I’m going to breakfast at that time. Sunday for sure
User guest32 entered the room.
User guest32 left the room.
User guest30 left the room.
Curious:  Will the cam have night vision to document cialis action?
guest25:  have you thought of a way to make this site pay yet?
YourMoralLeader:  not yet
guest25:  considering the size of the Hovel how about Yiddisha midget Porno
Curious:  You need more valuable content before anyone will pay.
YourMoralLeader:  hang on
YourMoralLeader:  i just pimped this on my blog, expect a flood of traffic
Curious:  again whacking the carrot
guest31:  what a freak
YourMoralLeader:  I just spent $500 buying The Infomercial Toolkit. Money well spent?
Curious:  luke, have you seen Mary Carey on Celebrity Rehab yet?  Comments?
User guest31 left the room.
User guest33 entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  n0
YourMoralLeader:  I’M TOO BUSY STUDYING TORAH
guest25:  maybe you could sell Luke Ford Popcorn online then put on Yiddish Midget Porno…
guest25:  I think Mary carey is just what the Hovel and Luke need
User guest26 left the room.
Curious:  Luke, do you live near a Costco.  A cardboard sign and a sad face coul generate $$ there.  Will you consider it?
guest25:  Luke could convert her
guest27:  time is one of life most important tools…. use it dont loose it…….
Curious:  You need sheckles.  How, Luke, how?
User guest34 entered the room.
guest33:  your phone number in LA is listed
Curious:  very distorted
Curious:  you sound like Yogi Bear
guest25:  Luke that yarlmuka would look a lot more interesting if you attached a pin wheel to it
YourMoralLeader:  i got the sound workign!
Curious:  TB??
YourMoralLeader:  listen to my teachings!
guest34:  didn’t you interview the porn guy w/ aids?
guest27:  smoking that weed again?
guest25:  doesn’t sound like you…ouchthat caugh scared my wife..TURN OFF THE SOUND
User guest35 entered the room.
Curious:  Will you dedicate an hour a week to discuss your Erectile Dysfuntion?  Your suffering could help others….
guest25:  Get down the clinic quick….you sound terrible
User guest33 left the room.
Curious:  The gekko-cam is more entertaing that this #%$^*&
User guest34 left the room.
User guest35 left the room.
User guest36 entered the room.
Curious:  They’re droppin’ like flies
Curious:  Guests are bailing out
YourMoralLeader:  heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp
User guest27 left the room.
guest25:  thank G-D  the sound went out…no more caughing, flatuance and snotty nose sounds
Curious:  Luke, how’s you 4 hour boner going?
guest25:  and he wants to charge for this?…he can’t even give it away
guest36:  Luke no need to speak there is no sound
Curious:  Painful?  Joyful?
Curious:  I like the book case behind Luke makes him look scholarly.  We all know they are beast porn books, though.
guest36:  Is his bathroom his kitchen
Curious:  He makes Ramin in the shower
guest25:  hahahaaaaa
guest36:  Looks like he is falling apart to me
Curious:  Luke do you contribute to society more than a homeless person?  Be honest.
YourMoralLeader:  Would you guys like to hire me to make commercials/infomercials for you?
User guest25 changed their name to TonyJah.
YourMoralLeader:  Or SEO?
YourMoralLeader:  Just $300 to hire me
TonyJah:  for what?
Curious:  Your endorsement of any non-porn product would be useless.
Curious:  Would you consider liscensing your own line of kosher sex toys?

User guest35 left the room.
User guest36 entered the room.
Curious:  They’re droppin’ like flies
Curious:  Guests are bailing out
YourMoralLeader:  heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp
User guest27 left the room.
guest25:  thank G-D  the sound went out…no more caughing, flatuance and snotty nose sounds
Curious:  Luke, how’s you 4 hour boner going?
guest25:  and he wants to charge for this?…he can’t even give it away
guest36:  Luke no need to speak there is no sound
Curious:  Painful?  Joyful?
Curious:  I like the book case behind Luke makes him look scholarly.  We all know they are beast porn books, though.
guest36:  Is his bathroom his kitchen
Curious:  He makes Ramin in the shower
guest25:  hahahaaaaa
guest36:  Looks like he is falling apart to me
Curious:  Luke do you contribute to society more than a homeless person?  Be honest.
YourMoralLeader:  Would you guys like to hire me to make commercials/infomercials for you?
User guest25 changed their name to TonyJah.
YourMoralLeader:  Or SEO?
YourMoralLeader:  Just $300 to hire me
TonyJah:  for what?
Curious:  Your endorsement of any non-porn product would be useless.
Curious:  Would you consider liscensing your own line of kosher sex toys?
YourMoralLeader:  hmm
guest36:  I could be wrong but I dont think he is a Jew, he is a n Aussie
Curious:  You spent $500 on infomercial software?  Why not something practical like Amway?
Curious:  I’m think a limp dildo like your own shmeckl
Curious:  It might sell
YourMoralLeader:  You are probably wondering why I called you here today
TonyJah:  the sound came back on arrrgghhh!
Curious:  Holly might buy one to give to her dog as a chew toy
User guest37 entered the room.
Curious:  Yes, Lord Vader.  How can we fight the rebels?
guest37:  hello
TonyJah:  sounds sounds German now…vee have vaz of making you talk
guest36:  lollllllllllllllll
guest37:  i want to see your face
YourMoralLeader:  Gents, five minutes ago I took my first Viagra. How am I doing?
guest37:  i want to see your face
guest36:  Why in the world would you do that
guest37:  ahhhh, sexy man
guest37:  nice smile
guest37:  hello
User RussianDragon entered the room.
TonyJah:  what’s with the static…is that Luke’s dishwasher…wait, there isn’t a sink
Curious:  Did you take the Viagra to generate more white "lotion" to rub on you nose?  That was weird.
RussianDragon:  hi there oh moral leader of mine
User Curious left the room.
User guest37 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  hi
RussianDragon:  hi to the rest as well
TonyJah:  well Luke…we have to go…best of health
YourMoralLeader:  thanks
TonyJah:  catch you tomorrow
User TonyJah left the room.
RussianDragon:  he is ill luke
User nicolletista entered the room.
RussianDragon:  taifoid i heard :p
User Khun left the room.
User guest36 left the room.
User watchingyoublog left the room.
RussianDragon:  still haven’t shaved that beard luke?
YourMoralLeader:  http://refinancemortgagenow.net/blog/
User MidrashicGirl entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  yo baby
YourMoralLeader:  what’s happening?
YourMoralLeader:  Gents, we hav a lady and a scholar with us!
MidrashicGirl:  nothing….entertain me.
MidrashicGirl:  who says i’m a lady?
RussianDragon:  wow  a lady that’s new
MidrashicGirl:  your voice sounds weird on my computer
RussianDragon:  i saw that keyboard
RussianDragon:  yes so does his voice on mine
MidrashicGirl:  it sounds dark and scary.
RussianDragon:  he sounds like the devil in person
MidrashicGirl:  yes!!!
RussianDragon:  I WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL
RussianDragon:  YOU WILL BE DAMNED
RussianDragon:  lol
MidrashicGirl:  hahaha
RussianDragon:  i always knew the devil would live in a hovel
MidrashicGirl:  of course
RussianDragon:  and would have a strange keyboard
MidrashicGirl:  oh, i can’t your moral voice anymore.
MidrashicGirl:  oops…"hear"
RussianDragon:  is that vodka?
RussianDragon:  or jewish water
MidrashicGirl:  what is that strange device?
User guest38 entered the room.
RussianDragon:  it’s a devils fork
User guest38 changed their name to SASHA.
MidrashicGirl:  haha
RussianDragon:  the new one
MidrashicGirl:  ooohhh SASHA
SASHA:  HUH WHAT DID I DO LOL
MidrashicGirl:  crotch shot
SASHA:  nice
SASHA:  lol
RussianDragon:  the devil’s trone
MidrashicGirl:  i hear no sound!!
RussianDragon:  I KNEW IT
SASHA:  just need the ass shot now
RussianDragon:  proof is allover his hovel
SASHA:  lol
SASHA:  whats he doing
SASHA:  yes its water
MidrashicGirl:  he’s davening
RussianDragon:  pitty we cannot smell it all
SASHA:  lol
RussianDragon:  i bet we would notice sulfer
MidrashicGirl:  can’t wait to find out…gotta go..

RussianDragon:  luke what were you doing with that jar?
User guest40 entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  trying to clena it
YourMoralLeader:  clean
YourMoralLeader:  mold buildup
RussianDragon:  mm that sounds bad
RussianDragon:  mold is bad news
RussianDragon:  are you eating some of the mold now
RussianDragon:  or is it some jewish cerial
RussianDragon:  smakatze wholeweat
YourMoralLeader:  yeah
RussianDragon:  mm jummy
YourMoralLeader:  why I am so big and strong’
RussianDragon:  are you big and strong, i didn’t notice that
User guest41 entered the room.
RussianDragon:  isn’t it about time now that you pitch another of your fantastic blog sites you own
RussianDragon:  like refinanceyourhovel.wom
RussianDragon:  just joking luke :p
YourMoralLeader:  lol
RussianDragon:  mm
YourMoralLeader:  lukeford.tv!
User guest41 left the room.
RussianDragon:  yes finally a pitch
RussianDragon:  i’m having a look
User guest42 entered the room.
User guest43 entered the room.
User guest43 left the room.
RussianDragon:  seems a bit on the dull side of blogging
User TheRealBornyo entered the room.
User guest44 entered the room.
TheRealBornyo:  wow you’ve drawn a crowd
User guest44 left the room.
RussianDragon:  moses is talking to
RussianDragon:  HEAR HIS WORDS
User guest45 entered the room.
RussianDragon:  the revolution is live
TheRealBornyo:  i think i hear a plaque of locusts, but no moses
RussianDragon:  can you smell the sulfer
YourMoralLeader:  greetings!
RussianDragon:  nothing like the smell of sulfer in the morning
User guest46 entered the room.
guest45:  omg
User guest45 left the room.
RussianDragon:  i am seeing your lips moving luke but i can hear nothing
User guest47 entered the room.
RussianDragon:  yessss
User guest46 left the room.
RussianDragon:  he’s gonna die online
TheRealBornyo:  i was hearing static, but now hear nothing
RussianDragon:  :p
TheRealBornyo:  not even the hacking cough attack
RussianDragon:  book your seats
RussianDragon:  see luke die via camstreams
guest40:  need a cigarette
RussianDragon:  seems he does
TheRealBornyo:  oh lord is he wearing old flour sacks?
guest42:  Has ur viagra kicked in yet
User YourMoralLeader left the room.
User YourMoralLeader entered the room.
User guest47 left the room.
TheRealBornyo:  you must have spent quite a bit on this a/v system
RussianDragon:  yes with the lipsink and all
RussianDragon:  i guess loads
YourMoralLeader:  lol
User YourMoralLeader left the room.
RussianDragon:  i think all of what he got for lukeisback.com
User YourMoralLeader entered the room.
User guest42 left the room.
TheRealBornyo:  now the static is back….like laying an ear against the gates of hell
RussianDragon:  well giess what
RussianDragon:  guess what i mean
RussianDragon:  you are in hell
TheRealBornyo:  I think you may be right
RussianDragon:  he is mister triple 6 himself

YourMoralLeader:  i got a new site – homelessla.com
RussianDragon:  cool the beast is brushing his teeth
User watchingyoublog entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  shabbat shalom
User CARLINO entered the room.
CARLINO:  CIAO LUCKY!
YourMoralLeader:  we’re having a party
CARLINO:  NO s**t!
CARLINO:  U STONED?
watchingyoublog:  did u seriously take viagra?
User guest56 entered the room.
CARLINO:  SNIFFIN?
watchingyoublog:  if yes, demonstrate
RussianDragon:  what a swell party
User AMALEK entered the room.
RussianDragon:  WOW
RussianDragon:  chaim is here
YourMoralLeader:  viagra – i feel like a new man
CARLINO:  HE GOT THE SHAKES
AMALEK:  Are there any ovulating females in here?
CARLINO:  NO
CARLINO:  WRONG ROOM
RussianDragon:  not here
CARLINO:  TRY GIZMOS
guest54:   dont know what that is
User guest57 entered the room.
RussianDragon:  try the pet sites
User guest57 left the room.
RussianDragon:  enough b**ches there
User guest56 left the room.
AMALEK:  What is that weird thing I just saw?
CARLINO:  IS HE ON LIQUID GAS ?
CARLINO:  TOO MUCH TOOTIN
watchingyoublog:  it is raining here. it will continue to rain for another 24 hours
AMALEK:  Luke, where are the ovulating females?  Without them, the Jewish people are doomed
User guest58 entered the room.
User guest58 changed their name to BigRichard.
watchingyoublog:  is it sunny in la?
AMALEK:  I’m going to run an ad on Craigslist for Ovulating Females
RussianDragon:  oooooh no i am blind now
User alan entered the room.
CARLINO:  LISTEN I GOT 3 BAMITZVAS TO ARRNAGE
RussianDragon:  i saw his pants
RussianDragon:  jeeez
CARLINO:  ARRANGE*
RussianDragon:  blind for life
User guest59 entered the room.
User guest60 entered the room.
User guest61 entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  holly’s coming!
CARLINO:  YEA?
AMALEK:  Never shave that beard.  Or at least let it reach Taliban proportions
User BigRichard left the room.
RussianDragon:  wow holly ratball?
watchingyoublog:  when is holly coming?
CARLINO:  SHALOM!
RussianDragon:  uhm i mean randall
watchingyoublog:  will you be celebrating shabbat with her?
CARLINO:  SHALOM
User guest54 left the room.
AMALEK:  I check in only to see if Holly is here.
RussianDragon:  is she ovulating
User guest61 changed their name to HollyRandall.
CARLINO:  IS SHE MARRIED TO A JEWISH BOY?
HollyRandall:  how do you look worse today
AMALEK:  I want her to be mine
HollyRandall:  hi Amalek
AMALEK:  Holly, will you marry me?
HollyRandall:  sorry i missed you in New Yo9rk
AMALEK:  I would be perfect for you.
CARLINO:  HE HAS BEEN SNIFFIN TEA BAGS
HollyRandall:  i didn’t get the message with your number until after i left
YourMoralLeader:  Honey
HollyRandall:  ha
YourMoralLeader:  would you like to celebrate Shabbat with me?
YourMoralLeader:  we’ll go to the gay temple
HollyRandall:  um…
HollyRandall:  lol right
HollyRandall:  not this weekend
AMALEK:  I would not demand your departure from porn or adherence to any religious stream
User guest59 left the room.
HollyRandall:  i’m still celebrating 😉
YourMoralLeader:  you can play with my beard
AMALEK:  Heck, for all I care, you could go scientologist
CARLINO:  HE IS DELUDED
HollyRandall:  i’m sorry amalek i think i’ve found my future husband
YourMoralLeader:  what did you do last night holly?
AMALEK:  Who is this lucky man?
AMALEK:  Luke?
CARLINO:  DOES NOT HAVE THE CHARISMA FOR A LEADER
RussianDragon:  lol
CARLINO:  NOT A LIST
HollyRandall:  he’s a screenwriter
CARLINO:  LOL
HollyRandall:  and not in porn
RussianDragon:  isn’t he on strike :p
HollyRandall:  lol
CARLINO:  AREN’T THEY ALL HONEY?
AMALEK:  has he sold any screenplays under SAG?
CARLINO:  LOL
YourMoralLeader:  how long you known him?
AMALEK:  sorry, WGA
HollyRandall:  a little over a year
CARLINO:  WHERE IS HIS COUCH FFS?
User guest62 entered the room.
HollyRandall:  yes i believe so
HollyRandall:  i’m only just getting to know him
AMALEK:  Is he a working screenwriter or a luftmensch
HollyRandall:  i don’t know his specifics yet
CARLINO:  SCHMUCK
AMALEK:  What does HE have that Luke does not?
YourMoralLeader:  why is he the one?
AMALEK:  This might hurt Luke, so turn away7
HollyRandall:  i don’t want to say that much about the screenplays he’s written b/c i don’t want you guys finding out who he is
User guest63 entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  we’re all friends here
CARLINO:  HE HAS AN OLD PHONE LOL
HollyRandall:  actually duh, yes one of his movies starts shooting in April
CARLINO:  HE HAS NO STATUS
AMALEK:  Well, then he has status
HollyRandall:  yes
AMALEK:  Is he White?
HollyRandall:  yes
AMALEK:  Is he Jewish?
HollyRandall:  no
User guest63 left the room.
HollyRandall:  but he’s older than Luke, so Luke that should make you feel young
AMALEK:  I want to see you two married and making babies
HollyRandall:  me too haha
CARLINO:  HE LAUGHS IN A MANIC WAY
User guest64 entered the room.
AMALEK:  Luke,  you know she’s talking about me
HollyRandall:  lol
AMALEK:  Yes Luke, I am to be Holly’s husband.  All 350 pounds of me
YourMoralLeader:  Holly, I want to dance on your grave
YourMoralLeader:  I mean at your wedding
User RussianDragon left the room.
User RussianDragon entered the room.
CARLINO:  HEY LUCKY
AMALEK:  Luke, that’s not a nice way to chat with my future bride.
HollyRandall:  lol
AMALEK:  I just don’t see why LUke is not married
guest64:  it’s the beard
CARLINO:  STILL GOT s**t CAMERA TECHNIQUE
AMALEK:  He’s had many many many opportunities
RussianDragon:  it’s the hovel
AMALEK:  Even with the hovel, he’s had opportunities, which is amazing in and of itself
HollyRandall:  i think he enjoys his swinging lifestyle
AMALEK:  The best thing that could happen to Luke would be if his landlord kicked him out
CARLINO:  HE IS TOO UGLY
CARLINO:  FOR THE BUSINESS
RussianDragon:  so you mean in THE industry
RussianDragon:  ?
CARLINO:  U KNOW THE SCORE RUSKY
guest40:  is he gay
AMALEK:  Now Holly, a serious question.  I’m taking notes – how did this man you pine for meet you?
CARLINO:  OBVIOUSLY
RussianDragon:  he is desperate
AMALEK:  I wish to emulate this chap
CARLINO:  HE IS A DICK
HollyRandall:  um
HollyRandall:  i can’t really say
HollyRandall:  we met through friends
AMALEK:  Oh, you can say sort of
CARLINO:  U TAKEN HIS PIC HOLLY?
HollyRandall:  take a wild guess, i’m sure you can figure it out
HollyRandall:  no
AMALEK:  what sort of intersecting social circles are involved?
YourMoralLeader:  AA
HollyRandall:  f**k you luke
RussianDragon:  lol
CARLINO:  HE WOULD CRACK THE LENS HONEY
AMALEK:  Now wait a minute, is he a screenwriter for THAT sort of movie?
CARLINO:  HE IS JUST ANOTHER LA LOSER
HollyRandall:  i don’t really want to talk about him
AMALEK:  I’m a screenwrite too, you know.  Just ask Luke
guest64:  they actually have scripts?
CARLINO:  F HIM
HollyRandall:  let’s move onto other subjects
AMALEK:  But it has yet to get me laid
HollyRandall:   like luke blowing his nose
AMALEK:  Of course, nothing gets me laid
RussianDragon:  do they call such guys screenwriters
HollyRandall:  that was really attractive
AMALEK:  Not that I would want to get laid.  I am post-sexual
CARLINO:  HE AINT GONNA BLOW ANYTHIN ELSE LOL
guest64:  no one is post-sexual
RussianDragon:  well some people don’t have a choice
guest60:      talk to my wife 64
CARLINO:  HEY HOLLY
YourMoralLeader:  how was your big dinner last night holly?
guest64:  hahaha 60
CARLINO:  F THIS
HollyRandall:  it was really nice
User CARLINO left the room.
HollyRandall:  we ate at Ford’s Filling Station
AMALEK:  So one fertile female shows us her ova, and instantly she is the belle of the chat room.  Typical internet
HollyRandall:  i have pics i’m going to download in a bit
YourMoralLeader:  aka the hovel
RussianDragon:  so what do you fill people with luke
guest64:  beans
User guest62 left the room.
RussianDragon:  jewish "yoghurt"
AMALEK:  If I walked into a room full of desperate crack whores waiving a roll of benjamins, and if there were a negro hobo in the corner passed out, they would ignore me and make a beeline for him
RussianDragon:  ?
User guest40 left the room.
AMALEK:  That’s why I am not voting for Barak Hussein Obama
AMALEK:  President Obama can only make life harder for the White Man
YourMoralLeader:  I feed ’em from my teachings, share some torah with me
AMALEK:  who is trying to score with white chickws
YourMoralLeader:  move in for the kill
AMALEK:  Hillary, on the other hand, empowers women of s certain age, and that can’t be good.
AMALEK:  But Old Man McCain is just too damn old and angry.
YourMoralLeader:  Let’s talk about refinance:
YourMoralLeader:  http://refinancemortgagenow.net/blog/
AMALEK:  I love election years because they are the once quadrenial chance I have to sound smart and impress broads
RussianDragon:  another pitch
YourMoralLeader:  does it work?
RussianDragon:  wohoo
AMALEK:  No
AMALEK:  well, yes, but not
RussianDragon:  NO NO NO
AMALEK:  I am in a dry spell.
guest6:  shabbat shalom rabbi
RabbiGadol:  Shalom!
YourMoralLeader:  i’m a lil fatigued
RabbiGadol:  what is this horrible screacthing sound I hear?
RabbiGadol:  It sounds like the bit of the sound track on a Japanese movie when the ghostly demon appears
RabbiGadol:  Or when a fiend errupts from the TV
RabbiGadol:  Luke, what if, just hear me out, but what if your fatigue proved to be a consequence of your goyishe diet?
RabbiGadol:  Not eating chicken, fish etc. is a leftover from your days as a Seventh Day Adventist
RabbiGadol:  A real jew eats and enjoys chopped liver
User guest6 left the room.
RabbiGadol:  You eat like an anorexic girl.
RabbiGadol:  No wonder Holly, who eats robustly and Catholicly, shunned you
RabbiGadol:  At the very least, you shoud be eating a bit of herring at kiddush
RabbiGadol:  Herring, wine, sweets, bread. 
YourMoralLeader:  get thee behind me satan

RabbiGadol:  This is part of the reason the other rabbenim do not trust you, this adherence to a goyishe diet
RabbiGadol:  How can we know that you won’t eat pork if you won’t eat beef, either?
RabbiGadol:  Plus, Hitler shunned beef.
guest7:  improv at Luke’s
guest7:  I like your blackies
guest7:  it’s unhealthy to drink from the same plastic – it starts to leak chemicals
YourMoralLeader:  pph\
YourMoralLeader:  oh
guest7:  i hate foreign languages. what does pph mean?
RabbiGadol:  Also, fruit juice is not vegan.  It invariably contains ground up bugs.
RabbiGadol:  As does all produce.
RabbiGadol:  Luke shuns salmon, but is eating insects.
YourMoralLeader:  typo
guest7:  vegetarians often have cuts on their hands, I’ve noticed
RabbiGadol:  Luke needs to get back to being an author, but of books people will want to read.
guest7:  apple would be so pleased to see you now
guest7:  Narcissism and how I overcame it, by me me me me and me
YourMoralLeader:  yeah
RabbiGadol:  Luke knows what I am talking about
guest7:  RG, share
RabbiGadol:  He knows that on this, as on virtually all of the advice that I have given him over the years, I am right
YourMoralLeader:  I keep waiting for a check that never arrives
RabbiGadol:  I cannot share this without Luke’s approval. 
YourMoralLeader:  you can share
RabbiGadol:  "How to Get Laid in LA on $200 a Week"  a title that sells itself
guest7:  wouldn’t that amount work anywhere>
RabbiGadol:  He would have NO trouble selling this to a real publisher, and it is just the sort of title that gets a fellow on the Stern Show and reviews in the NY Times
guest11:  And the moral of the story is not half an egg roll
RabbiGadol:  But an amotivational disorder prevents Mr. Ford from acting on my sound and actionable advice.
guest7:  I hate H Stern, but why haven’t you been there, Luke?
YourMoralLeader:  I bless you good people
YourMoralLeader:  he’s anti-torah
RabbiGadol:  Because he is LAZY
guest7:  you need a publicist, PRONTO
YourMoralLeader:  yep
RabbiGadol:  Luke is content to wallow in his poverty, even though the All-Mighty has blessed Luke with the tools to vault out of it and thereby help the Juden
RabbiGadol:  Luke, you could bang this book out in a month

guest7:  WITH CHAPTERS LIKE…
RabbiGadol:  It would not need many words; it would have lots of photos which his photographer and media friends could readily provide
RabbiGadol:  Chapter 1. My Struggles and why I shouldn’t be able to get laid
YourMoralLeader:  hmm
guest7:  morally laid, of course
RabbiGadol:  C’mon, this is so effin easy.  I wish I could hereby convey my disgust – my real, non sarcastic disgust at luke for not doing obvious things to help
RabbiGadol:  If I were he, I could write this in a few weekends
guest7:  Cathy was good at that
RabbiGadol:  after shabbos, of course
RabbiGadol:  Yeah, if Cathy were alive today, she might have what it takes to kick him in the pants
RabbiGadol:  This self-selected poverty angers me.
guest7:  me, too, but then I’m a happy capitalist
RabbiGadol:  It is like watching someone with money in his wallet slowly starve to death because he is too lazy to buy food.
RabbiGadol:  I mean, oh heck, what is the point
RabbiGadol:  That is a nice t-shirt.
RabbiGadol:  The beard works.
guest7:  the fields are white with harvest, but that might be New Testament, sorry
User guest11 left the room.
RabbiGadol:  Do you still hang out with Elliot Stein?
YourMoralLeader:  virtually
User RabbiGadol changed their name to BarakHusseinObama.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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