The cognitive elite are in my chat room, including the mighty Chaim Amalek.
Jane: i broke up with the guy i was dating this week
YourMoralLeader: oh no, was it over me and my am?
YourMoralLeader: cam?
YourMoralLeader: I guess you’re all mine now
YourMoralLeader: we got a woman in here, chaim
AMALEK: A live woman?
AMALEK: I’ve heard of etrannies – men who enter chat rooms pretending to be chix
AMALEK: I myself once dated a woman
AMALEK: But she did not like my body on account of my weight
AMALEK: You see, I am a man in full
AMALEK: Hello nicolletista
guest8: i like hermaphrodites
nicolletista: is this THE chaim amalek?
AMALEK: Well, are there others?
AMALEK: I’m the man the other Amalekites want to be
nicolletista: wasn’t sure without the chaim part
nicolletista: but i’ve always been a fan
YourMoralLeader: THE
AMALEK: Are you enough of a fan to want to have relations with a 300 pound man?
nicolletista: and hadn’t seen luke mention you in ages
nicolletista: of course i’m not
AMALEK: Luke hides me.
AMALEK: He is ashamed to know me
watchingyoublog: good night y’all
YourMoralLeader: You have not given me any free content in a long time
AMALEK: He fears the rabbis will turn on him for harboring Amalek in his circule
YourMoralLeader: gnight
watchingyoublog: i will keep you in suspense about what my sleep medicine of choice will be
AMALEK: I need motivation to do that.
nicolletista: the rabbis didn’t turn on him b/c of you
guest9: aloha
AMALEK: How do you know of this treif place, ncollletisa
nicolletista: hey who doesn’t love treif
AMALEK: Are you Jewish? Or are you from Luke’s "other" world?
nicolletista: i don’t remember how i found out about luke
nicolletista: yes jewish
User guest9 left the room.
nicolletista: not porn
AMALEK: Have you been to the hovel?
nicolletista: porn stuffis really not interesting
User guest10 left the room.
guest11: hi all
YourMoralLeader: hi
nicolletista: with the wencam i feel that luke is my roommate
AMALEK: It is as interesting as watching raccoons rummage through the garbage in central park
nicolletista: luke is your cam off right now?
AMALEK: It is on
YourMoralLeader: sound off
nicolletista: yes it is and for the same reason
nicolletista: not working for me
AMALEK: Actually, I’d rather watch a dog chase a squirrel than watch porn
nicolletista: let me refresh
YourMoralLeader: This is truly the place where the cognitive elite meet
AMALEK: Are you in LA?
nicolletista: no
nicolletista: minneapolis, minn
User nicolletista left the room.
AMALEK: see…..
guest11: what makes your so moral
guest11: moral leader
YourMoralLeader: I’m going to be working out in a few minutes
YourMoralLeader: you don’t want to miss this
YourMoralLeader: it’s my aura
AMALEK: I wish Holly were there by your side
AMALEK: mopping your brow
nicolletista: ah, fresh faced as usual lke
guest11: workin out on about 50 beers
AMALEK: tidying up
guest11: ha ha
AMALEK: doing wifey stuff
nicolletista: amalek you’re on uws correct?
AMALEK: I can’t be the only one here who thinks Luke should have made a huge play for her
AMALEK: She’d have solved just about all of htis problems
nicolletista: i assumed he did!
guest12: Amalek! I missed him before, and your Mom…just don’t let me miss Nicholas, or I’ll be so mad.
User guest11 left the room.
AMALEK: Heck, I would marry Holly right now if she would but have me. But she told me I’m too heavy and distinguished for her, and too square.
YourMoralLeader: nin
AMALEK: "Holly, will you marry me?" Someone get this proposal to her.
AMALEK: I’d be good for her.
anais: that would be right
anais: you read her?
YourMoralLeader: r u guys ready to see me work out?
AMALEK: No booze, no lectures on religion, and I’d provide her with a mission in life
YourMoralLeader: a bit
AMALEK: Hold on, I need to place my modesty shield over half the screen
nicolletista: oh yeah it’s like feeding time at the zoo
anais: not bad.. for a man
nicolletista: i better go wake up my niece
AMALEK: I love these sound effects
AMALEK: It’ s like watching an old old episode of the Outer Limits
User guest2 left the room.
AMALEK: "In the furthest reaches of the blogosphere, man toils against the entropy of broken dreams"
guest12: What kind of mission, Amalek?
AMALEK: The mission every woman secretly pines for – to make her man happy
AMALEK: This is the apotheosis of woman.
AMALEK: That, and raising the kids
guest12: Because that makes us both happy, right?
AMALEK: With me it would
AMALEK: I have a value above rubies
User guest14 entered the room.
AMALEK: Holly would be a complete woman with me at her side
AMALEK: And her father would enjoy my company, too
User guest8 left the room.
AMALEK: We could discuss the negro situation in s africa
AMALEK: And where the White Man blew it.
User guest15 entered the room.
AMALEK: With her Mom, the topic of discussion could be the latest advances in lenses.
User guest14 left the room.
User guest15 left the room.
AMALEK: I would spend my days studying, filling my working wife with both pride and semen
nicolletista: luke definitely thinks his semen is more moral than yours, chaim
nicolletista: and yet
AMALEK: I wish I were as svelte as Luke
nicolletista: you willingly go restraint shopping with him
guest12: that’s not how you lift weights!
AMALEK: Bad workout form, Luke. You need to do those slower
AMALEK: slow, even lifts.
AMALEK: He’s humping the door jamn!
AMALEK: WOWW – the extra "W" is for extra "WOWW"
anais: WOW the coughing doesn’t look good..r u sick?
AMALEK: What are those – three pound weights?
User MoralDilemmas entered the room.
AMALEK: Jiminy Cricket,
guest12: The weights are too small and you’re bouncing them.
AMALEK: I’m not ashamed to say that this is making me hard
AMALEK: Hard on myself for being here
guest12: That’s because you’re easy.
AMALEK: Seriously, I am willing to have sex with almost any woman who will pay me for it
AMALEK: SLOWER
nicolletista: i know it makes the submissive chicken seem like watching ionesco
AMALEK: WOW ten pounders!
guest12: Should’t Anais Nin have something to say by now?
AMALEK: yeah baby, thyat’s right
AMALEK: bend deeply
anais: ws given no choce but to be entertaines by the silence
AMALEK: I want to see him put on teffilim
anais: choice
AMALEK: HOLLY YOU MUST MARRY ME!
AMALEK: How many square feet do you think that apartment is?
guest12: Maybe Luke is waiting for a dowry, A. You can give him one.
AMALEK: He and I are competing for the same woman.
MoralDilemmas: Kinda reminds me of the ‘poodle exercises’ on youtube…
AMALEK: Luke, either lift heavier weights, or oh heck, why am I even addressing that
AMALEK: I used to tell luke to turn this into reality tv
guest12: Those are old man stretches
AMALEK: Now I’m getting all hardagain
anais: who’s going to be the shepard to lead this poor boy home
AMALEK: Luke should be living in Boca
AMALEK: This cam is not good for the Jews.
AMALEK: Therecould be terrorists watching this to build up the courage to attack saying "See? This is what the Jew is really like"
User guest10 entered the room.
AMALEK: What’s in thatbox, LUke?
guest12: Please, someone move the cam
nicolletista: good night
User nicolletista left the room.
guest10: wtf
AMALEK: I thought I saw a human arm
AMALEK: I say you should become a drug mule
User MoralDilemmas left the room.
guest10: give up the beer man its easier
guest12: Right THERE??? Where is Mom?
guest10: never too late i guess
AMALEK: Australia
YourMoralLeader: What do you guys think?
AMALEK: Which drugs are you on these days?
YourMoralLeader: a bit of lith now and then, wellbutrin every morn, clonidine at night
guest10: hes on them kangarroo tracs
YourMoralLeader: I think I threw my back out
YourMoralLeader: worked out too hard
guest10: trancs
guest10: dont look soo serious man
User guest12 left the room.
AMALEK: What is clonidine for?
AMALEK: Isn’t that a muscle relaxant?
User guest16 entered the room.
guest10: waitin for a fight i meant to finish last nite
User MoralDilemmas entered the room.
AMALEK: Fire hazzard
guest10: u got a flue or bad cke
AMALEK: He needs a woman to take care of him
AMALEK: Allmen do
guest10: u a woman amalek?
AMALEK: Yes
AMALEK: All woman
guest10: were all friends here
guest10: were u frm? ama?
AMALEK: Actually, "Amalek" stands for "A male k_ke"
AMALEK: I am being transgressive
AMALEK: I am a product of the 92nd Street Y and Zabars and the New School’s free lectures
guest10: so ur f**ked up
AMALEK: This is like being on a 1200 baud modem, circa 1987
AMALEK: Wayne’s World
GROVER: PIGS AND COWS AND HORSES AND CHICKS AND HENS AND ROOSTERS
AMALEK: You should get a sustainable blog
User guest19 entered the room.
GROVER: a whole farm 4 amalek
User guest19 left the room.
AMALEK: This depresses me
GROVER: drink up amalek
User AMALEK left the room.
User guest18 left the room.
MoralDilemmas: Question Luke…in the past, you’ve angered people by ‘outing’ them for their possibly embarrassing discretions, yet you protect Amalek’s anonymity. Why? Just curious.
AMALEK: This is more depressing than trolling for dates on Craigslist
guest21: omg
User guest21 left the room.
GROVER: A Yank was in Canada and asked/ whats the quickest way to Toronto/ The Canadian said are you walking or driving/ the yank said i’m driving/ the Canadian said well thats the quickest way
BuddyHolly: Luke I like your web c but,you sure are not much for words
YourMoralLeader: Buddy, the reason people like my site is because I put my efforts into it and not chat
BuddyHolly: I see. but I don’t understand..sorry
