Category Archives: Personal

I Spent $50 Today To Be Alone With A Beautiful Woman For Two Hours

Posted on April 28, 2008 by Luke Ford

It was money well spent even if it was on a doctor of acupuncture. I feel confident that wherever I go this week, women will sense that I have not been without the company of the fairer sex. This is … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged abstinence, acupuncturist, beautiful woman, elbow problems, ergonomic keyboard, ergonomic mouse, evenings, fairer sex, feelings, Google, helicopter rides, hovel, lashon hara, manly man, monetary problems, money, oriental massage, photos, pre selection, s college, Santa Monica, saturdays, social proof, tendons, vicious cycle, wimp | Comments Off

Breastfeeding In The Sanctuary

Posted on April 28, 2008 by Luke Ford

Some Orthodox synagogues have a problem with women whipping their bosoms out during davening. Hmm. Can’t we just all be free to do what we want and to pull our breasts out when we want? Isn’t that what Moses would … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged beast, breasts, brokeback mountain, Charity, Emma, humble hovel, lesbians, live cam chat, lol, luke mountain, Modesty, moses, nbsp, pffft, quot, sanctuary, synagogues, tithing, Torah, yep | Comments Off

It Was Long And Hot

Posted on April 27, 2008 by Luke Ford

I’m referring to my Passover. Like all Jewish holidays with the extra day of yom tov (holy day) because we live in the diaspora, it was more of an endurance test than a spiritual uplift. I want to join Dennis … Continue reading →

Posted in Passover, Personal | Tagged cult, Dennis Prager, diaspora, endurance test, holy day, jewish holidays, Jews, orthodox judaism, Passover, rigor, sheni, spiritual uplift, yom tov | Comments Off

She Would’ve Been 78

Posted on April 27, 2008 by Luke Ford

My mom died April 24, 1970. I was almost four. I remember her. Most of the women I’ve loved have been like her — cute, cuddly, nurturing and chronically late and unorganized. She would’ve turned 78 Saturday. I don’t say … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged aliyah, april 24, goy, Judaism, neshama, shul, sorry mom | Comments Off

About Last Night

Posted on April 24, 2008 by Luke Ford

I get mail: Luke, are you MAD at me? What’s with not looking at me? Have to say that’s the best brushoff I’ve ever seen…a finger wave WHILE LOOKING IN ANOTHER DIRECTION. Also: I remember at your book party on … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged bitterness, cathy, couple of minutes, finger wave, maia, mail, pleasure, quot, sadness, shaking hands | Comments Off

I’m Live On My Cam

Posted on April 24, 2008 by Luke Ford

Click here to join the fun. guest16: Emma should start searching for a cheap flight now… guest16: so she could spend her cash wining and dining you guest16: and buying you little trinkets YourMoralLeader: yay YourMoralLeader: her sis’s a travel … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged breed horses, bride and groom, cheap flight, domestic goddess, Emma, futon, futton, groomer, hiya folks, horse breeder, hovel, jew, little trinkets, loughlin, money, nbsp, np, sleep, travel agent | Comments Off

I’m Live In My Chat Room With Rabbi Gadol

Posted on April 23, 2008 by Luke Ford

From my chat room: RabbiG: I’m here to do an audit. RabbiG: Tzitzit – check. RabbiG: Keepah – check RabbiG: Beard – it grows jonnie: But I like his cheeky smile RabbiG: Virtuous women in chat room – check QuixoticLass: … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged aramaic, beard, chat room, cheeky smile, Education, Emma, gadol, grits, hebrew, lulav, nbsp, neighbour, ql, rabbi, Rabbis, resonance, resonant frequency, rooster, talmud, utensil, vibrations, virtuous women, yorkshire, yorkshire terrier | Comments Off

Chariots Of Fire

Posted on April 23, 2008 by Luke Ford

At 4:17 pm today, I got an urge to listen to Vangelis while I worked. I clicked on to Chariots of Fire. Suddenly I was back running up the Howell Mountain Road at Pacific Union College (PUC) in the Napa … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged auburn ca, chariots of fire, childhood heroes, danny white, howell mountain, important date, khyl, lockerroom, lying on the couch, napa valley, nasty cold, PUC, randy white, religious community, san francisco 49ers, sportswriter, tom landry, tony dorsett, vangelis, winn, world record | Comments Off

Holly Randall Is Chaim Amalek’s White Whale

Posted on April 23, 2008 by Luke Ford

I don’t know what I did to my friend but he’s all obsessed: From my chat room: palestine4ever: LUKE WHAT DID YOU DO TO CHAIM palestine4ever: He’s heavy on this Holly business, Luke. palestine4ever: As a long-time ChaimWatcher, he usually … Continue reading →

Posted in Holly Randall, Personal | Tagged amalek, ambition, boondock saints, captain ahab, friend emma, golden gloves boxer, hellhole, Holly Randall, http www myspace com, insults, irish view, jew, lol, lord of the dance, michael flatley, purdue, river dance, Torah, west lafayette indiana, white whale | Comments Off

I’m Used To Keeping The People In My Life In Separate Compartments

Posted on April 23, 2008 by Luke Ford

I’ve never been one who wants to bring most of his friends together. I have friends in Orthodox Judaism. I have friends who are secular writers. I have exes. I have squeezes. I have dolls. I have playmates. I have … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged backup singer, ball of fury, chat room, conversion to judaism, def leppard, Emma, jewish men, money, nbsp, new york dolls, onan, orthodox judaism, pets, playmates, queen bee, stooges, synthesis, Torah, youknow | Comments Off