She Would’ve Been 78

My mom died April 24, 1970.

I was almost four.

I remember her.

Most of the women I’ve loved have been like her — cute, cuddly, nurturing and chronically late and unorganized.

She would’ve turned 78 Saturday.

I don’t say yizkor for her in shul because she was a goy and she doesn’t count for anything in Judaism.

Sorry mom. May your neshama have an aliyah.

I honor your memory by sleeping through sermons just like I did as a child at your soon-to-be-removed breast.

When I converted, I was born again. I don’t have any ritual obligations to my family even though they send me checks and cheer in times of need.

Jane emails:

Oh’ yes you do…a lot!!!…Owe her, I mean. She gave you life, raised and cared for you during your early years. At times mother leaves, against her will … but she never stops loving. Just as Hanna came up each year to see her little boy serving at the Shilo. It is written, that she’d make a little coat for him. How many tears were stitched into her boy’s coat? How many blessings embroiled into the seam? Mother’s love keep one warm throughout life’s journey. I felt YOUR love to her, the lose and sadness embedded between your lines just as Madam Defarge was knitting her messages, in Charles Dickens "Tale Of Two Cities’. Mother’s love is bigger even then conversion and does not negate your choices. A mother wraps you with her blessings and just prays to keeps you warm and safe.

>>You sound like a mom.

Yes, Nothing I’ll ever do in life will come close to it. I needed to speak from the heart and clarify the feelings of being one. Someone has to stand up and speak for her. Your Dad, may he live to 120 and your deceased mother, may she rest in peace, deserve our gratitude. We read and enjoy the fruit of their labor. You come from a wonderful family.

From my live cam chat Sunday night:

YourMoralLeader:  hi guys
YourMoralLeader:  me luv u long time
guest6:  u luv emma short time
YourMoralLeader:  but intensely
guest6:  laugh, live and love intensely
guest6:  how was the holy passover?  are we now matzoh free ?
YourMoralLeader:  it was fine
YourMoralLeader:  urs?
guest6:  it was long and hot & i am only referring to the holiday
YourMoralLeader:  you dont mind if i steal your best lines?
guest6:  steal away
guest6:  i just read on your blog about your mother.
guest6:  sorry
guest6:  it was very sweet
YourMoralLeader:  i’m not just a horny hound dog
guest6:  do you say yizker for her in shul?
YourMoralLeader:  no, she was a goy
YourMoralLeader:  dont count
guest6:  one of the few things i admire about you is the way you write
guest6:  horny hound dogs should get their love & attention any way they can
YourMoralLeader:  I twice mentioned my cam to people over Pesach and both times they got creeped out. Cams creep people out. You and i know better. Perhaps I should not have talked so much about my ….
guest6:  what does your…have anything to do with your cam  ?
guest6:  its like watching a car crash  you really can’t look away…either at your…or your cam

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
This entry was posted in Personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.