Category Archives: Personal

Getting Into My Life

Though I present a facade of openness on my blog, I’m as wary as the next bloke about letting people into my life. Here are some ways people typically disqualify themselves from entering my life: * Presuming too much. Just … Continue reading

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Your Moral Leader’s Backdoor Guide To Los Angeles: ‘You Haven’t Done L.A. Until You’ve Done Luke Ford!’

Joe emails: Another idea related to Delice a bit: LUKEAPALOOZA, the multi-media tour of Luke Ford’s LA! Beginning with lunch at Luke’s favorite French bistro, climb into the original LUKE FORD SERIAL KILLER VAN (TM) and watch Luke’s life come … Continue reading

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‘Why Do You Do That To Him?’

"Are you trying to get kicked out?" she asked. "I’m just a humble servant of the truth," I said. "You don’t understand my mission," I thought. "Some people preach. I get the scoop. The pursuit of truth is every bit … Continue reading

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Trembling With Excitement To Join The Jewish People

"I need to know your motivations," he said. "Orthodox Jews are a tiny peculiar people. Why do you want to become one?" "Motivations?" I exclaimed. "Motivations? You need to know my motivations? You can never know my motivations because I … Continue reading

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What If It’s Not Them?

What if my problems in Orthodox Judaism are not their fault? What if it’s not Orthodox Judaism nor its rabbis nor its practitioners that have caused me so much trouble, but only myself? What if I gave the Orthodox community … Continue reading

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How A Woman Takes A Shower

Click here to join the fun. LeahKleim:  Im tempted to start a chat room. I need an accomplice though YourMoralLeader:  This can be your chat room too YourMoralLeader:  We have the same mission YourMoralLeader:  tikkun olam LeahKleim:  I know we … Continue reading

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OMG It’s Jesus!!!

That’s the most common greeting I get these days in my chat room. I find it disconcerting. Here are the other greetings I receive in the order of their popularity: Ur ugly Grizzly Adams! Hey Fuzzy Wuzzy U need a … Continue reading

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Living in the Presence of G-d

Religion is totalitarian. It wants to take over all of your life, even how you make love to your wife. Yeah, the rabbis say you should carry the consciousness of G-d into the bedroom and when that special time comes, … Continue reading

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The Other Woman

"Woman, why do you keep putting garlic in everything?" I bellow. "You don’t want me to be attractive to other women." "Why do you want to be attractive to other women?" she says. "I need the affirmation." "I want you … Continue reading

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I’ve Caught The Dreaded Bird Flu

How do I know? Because I’ve started talking bollocks and I can’t park the car. zappa:  Did you know the late Mahatma Gandhi suffered from very poor health? zappa:  Oh, yes. He was too thin, had constant problems with sores … Continue reading

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