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LeahKleim: Im tempted to start a chat room. I need an accomplice though
YourMoralLeader: This can be your chat room too
YourMoralLeader: We have the same mission
YourMoralLeader: tikkun olam
LeahKleim: I know we do. i support your madness.
LeahKleim: I dont do sports. i use to hang with the miami heat and he dolphins , other than that I knoe nada about sports
zappa: How to Shower Like a Woman….
zappa: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
zappa: If you see husband along the way cover up any exposed areas
LeahKleim: we should write a book. My perspective as as someone who grew up ultra frum. Your perspective, someone coming in and having issues and obstacles. well have to use spell check on me though because i have an all star yeshiva education
YourMoralLeader: sounds good
zappa: Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
LeahKleim: im serious !
zappa: Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg,cloth. long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
LeahKleim: I have a perfect body…almost. 36′ 26’36’
YourMoralLeader: let me do some thinking, but it’s very tempting
zappa: Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins
LeahKleim: my hair is beautiful too
zappa: Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean
zappa: Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.
LeahKleim: i have been on pre-natal vitamins for 9 and a half yaers
zappa: Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
YourMoralLeader: how much time do you put into your appearance every day leah?
LeahKleim: i condition it with avacado, mayonaise, and beer
zappa: Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
LeahKleim: about a whole 10 minutes
zappa: Rinse conditioner off hair.
zappa: Shave armpits and legs.
LeahKleim: if i put more time in i would be truly irasitable and get raped
zappa: Turn off shower.
LeahKleim: i shave every day
YourMoralLeader: Leah, thanks to your upbringing, you can’t fit in with the goyim and the non-frum yidden
zappa: Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
LeahKleim: i know
zappa: Spray mold spots with Tilex.
LeahKleim: the maid does that
zappa: Get out of shower and stand on bathmat
LeahKleim: Im a jewish princess, I dont clesn
SamoverRebbe: Leah, let me cut to the chase: you divorce you shagetz of a husband and marry Luke
zappa: Dry with towel the size of a small country.
LeahKleim: Luke is to good for me
zappa: Wrap hair in super absorbent towel
zappa: Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
SamoverRebbe: If it would make you feel better, he could cheat on you with other women
LeahKleim: I dont dry myself with a towel. I drip dry. It moisterizes your skin.
SamoverRebbe: I see you working hard to support him
zappa: How to Shower Like a Man…
YourMoralLeader: Are you capable of monogamy Leah?
LeahKleim: get in shower, beat off
zappa: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
LeahKleim: throw them across the room
zappa: Walk naked to the bathroom.
LeahKleim: i always do
zappa: If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound
zappa: Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
LeahKleim: why ? this wife brings the other girl home
zappa: Admire the size of wiener and scratch your butt.
LeahKleim: thats nasty
zappa: Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
zappa: Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
LeahKleim: get in the shower with your wife
zappa: Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
zappa: Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
zappa: Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap
zappa: Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk
SamoverRebbe: Leah, this could be a Jewish home. All it needs is a Jewish woman’s touch.
LeahKleim: that is a recipe for divorce
SamoverRebbe: Don’t be defeatist
zappa: Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
zappa: Dry off forearms and butt only.
SamoverRebbe: Leah Kleim, this is the man you are meant to marry
LeahKleim: and get rejected by your wife. get dressed, go pay hooker
zappa: Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out or tub the whole time.
SamoverRebbe: Think of the work the two of you could do on the web as Crusador Jews
zappa: Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off, chuckle.
zappa: Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on
LeahKleim: and go back to bathroom and beat off because wife rejected your nasty ass again
SamoverRebbe: Get rid of the racial self-hatred, Leah. Besides, Luke has the goyishe genes you crave.
zappa: Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
zappa: If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
zappa: Throw towel on bed.
LeahKleim: i dont crave goyishe genes at all, it was a mistake i fell for, so i embraced it and enjoyed it
zappa: Now, if there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
LeahKleim: the sad truth is that , that is the life of a married jewish guy
LeahKleim: Levi, do you regret converting?
guest300: Leah, are you looking for a Shofar?
LeahKleim: no, I dont need any tekua, terima
LeahKleim: my doc gave me viagra
guest300: why you take Viagra, Leah, can’t get it up anymore?
LeahKleim: hell no. guys wanted it. he gives me what ever i ask for
LeahKleim: he likes to listen to me breath and check my spine while im bent over his table
YourMoralLeader: Leah, no I don’t regret
YourMoralLeader: Most of my regrets are of my own moral weakness, tendency to take the lazy way out
SamoverRebbe: Admit that you have Shaegetz fever, Leah, and acknowledge that with Luke you have the best of both worlds: Gentile genes (look at that punim!) and a torah-centric world view
guest313: Dude, who is your favorite Rabbi at the RCC?
RabbiWeil: I command all you single men to leave this room. There is a single lady. I don’t want you divorced men harrassing her.
StevenCohensBeer: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
User StevenCohensBeer left the room.
RabbiWeil: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
guest313: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
User guest313 left the room.
guest308: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
User guest308 left the room.
guest309: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
User guest309 left the room.
User guest316 (18.104.22.168) entered the room.
guest310: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
User guest310 left the room.
guest311: Oh…….no….I’ll leave then…………for I fear Weiled wrath.
User guest311 left the room.
RabbiWeil: Now I can exercise my maximal powers and ban myself….
User RabbiWeil left the room.