Tag Archives: bloke

Plumbers Crack Wreaks Havoc With My Prayers

So I was at minyan one morning saying my prayers like a good Jew when this bloke walks, sits down in front of me, and exposes massive plumber’s crack. And the bloke wasn’t even a plumber! He just wore his … Continue reading

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I Can’t Do Celibate Pose!

I began yoga in January 2009. I went all-out. And within two months, I’d done a lot of damage to myself, some of it permanent and irreparable. Once you stretch ligaments, they don’t unstretch. Some of the damage was repaired … Continue reading

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Don’t Let Yourself Go

I enjoy beauty and when I have to look at a fat slob, it bums me out. So ladies, shape up! Guys, shape up! We can’t take others for granted. We owe them our best. On his radio show today, … Continue reading

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Joshing

“You can’t talk to girls the same way you talk to guys,” my father often told me. He was right. I tend to talk to guys in competitive put-downs. There’s a highly ritualized component to this. With certain friends, almost … Continue reading

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Merry Christmas Goyim!

I’m live on my cam: YourMoralLeader: merry xmas YourMoralLeader: goyim Emma: Happy hanukkah? YourMoralLeader: what does Xmas mean to you M and Beth? Emma: Family getting together Emma: The day Jesus was born Beth: I had to step away and … Continue reading

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Did I Join A Cult And Not Even Know It?

For the past three months, I have been 100% enthusiastic about Kundilini Yoga. Don’t think my emotions had no foundation in fact. I read the Wikipedia entry on Yogi Bhajan and at the time it only contained neutral or positive … Continue reading

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I Interview A Holocaust Denier Outside The Oscars

As I walk around the Kodak theatre Sunday afternoon, I see an old man holding up a sign protesting Hollywood’s recent slew of Holocaust movies. "That’s a courageous stance," I think. "Handing out literature denying the Holocaust right in the … Continue reading

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My Personalities Have Changed — All Seven Of Them

My kundalini has changed too. It is flowing in unexpected but exciting directions — none of them illegal! I’m happy these days. Hari Har! Hari Har! I attribute my change in temperament to yoga and Alexander Technique. I met up … Continue reading

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I’m Starting To Find People Abrasive

Yes, even a rude crude bloke like me can find other people abrasive. I must’ve changed. It must be all the Alexander Technique and yoga I’m doing. I feel different. I’m not as flip and as cynical. I no longer … Continue reading

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To Pray

I walk into shul, sit next to the rabbi, and for the next three hours we’re silent except for rattling off our prayers.. Finally, after adon olam and kiddish, I shake his hand and say, "Gut shabbos." "Look," he replies. … Continue reading

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