No surprise here.
Pellicano will likely spend the rest of his life behind bars.
About ten hours a day six days a week (about two hours of those a day are just for fun though fun and work blend for me as I find most of my work fun), about the same time that anyone at the top of their profession spends on their work.
So while I’m off the computer and in bed last night, somebody comes into my chat room and leaves this:
"OhtheIrony: Luke, Luke, I am a fan of your site but I find the amount of time you spend on the computer to be disturbing. How many hours a day do you spend on here?"
Oh, the irony.
The holy rabbi — he’s not a compromising Modern Orthodox, he’s the real thing, a fair dinkum rabbi — is in my chat room right now dispensing brachas:
RabbiGadol: A nice woman, his age, from a good family. Very much interested in making and keeping a Jewish home.
YourMoralLeader: Welcome Rabbi
Cindi: She has to be dark haired and italian/jewish looking
RamBam: Uhoh he’s back!
RabbiGadol: But I don’t know if I should introduce them, based on what I see here.
YourMoralLeader: not for long, must nude sunbathe
YourMoralLeader: before the kids get home
RabbiGadol: After all, "it all begins with a chat."
Cindi: very intelligent and edgy
RabbiGadol: I’m afrain Luke is no longer thinking about finding a nice Jewish woman.
RabbiGadol: Someone suitable to him.
Cindi: chaste in the community, opposite in private
RabbiGadol: I fear for his neshama
RabbiGadol: I can see him abandoning years of work in a moment of passion.
RabbiGadol: But what is passion, but an attempt to wage war on nature?
Cindi: he’s already done that many times, lol, but he always returns to the proper ways of the shul
RabbiGadol: I admit that I have no 18 year old with blue eyes to introduce to him
RamBam: I do think he’s ready for a shidduch
RabbiGadol: None of the Jewish women I know of who might consider such a match are young enough to be his daughter.
RabbiGadol: And even the somewhat older ones are holding out for a more successful man
RabbiGadol: So there is a mismatch in inventory here
Cindi: You can be successful without being wealthy
RabbiGadol: And there lies the peril that Luke’s neshama faces.
RabbiGadol: He will let it all go away for a moment or two of pleasure.
RamBam: I know no women who wants an ex-porn blogger.
RabbiGadol: There are some, but they are not Jewish.
RamBam: But she MUST be Jewish
Cindi: I know many women that would want him, but not vice versa
RabbiGadol: And they want a man with more material success, alas.
Cindi: HE is the picky one
RabbiGadol: I fear that Luke is prepared to look away from his People.
RabbiGadol: This saddens me greatly.
RamBam: I think he has his heart set on the Emerald Isle.
RabbiGadol: I fear that you are right.
RabbiGadol: I urged him to attend singles events for the 40+ set, but he would not listen to me.
RamBam: He may have converted but he has need of young shiksas.
Cindi: Luke needs a beautiful, intelligent motherly type, under 35
RamBam: JEWISH don’t forget Jewish
RabbiGadol: I urged him to remember Sarah, who bore a child very late in life, but Luke does not listen.
YourMoralLeader: I want an Irish lass.
Cindi: Isn’t she the one who turned into a pillar of salt and created the dead sea? lol
YourMoralLeader: Is that so wrong?
YourMoralLeader: So she have the love of Christ in her bosom?
RabbiGadol: All of this can be undone. I am more certain of Luke’s committment to this strange "vegetarian" lifestyle of his than to the Jewish people.
Cindi: IF the right girl came along, I think LUke would become a Mormon meateater
RabbiGadol: There is nothing wrong with this choice, Luke, provided you are not Jewish.
RabbiGadol: Well, maybe there is a lot still wrong with this scenario, but that is a different matter
RabbiGadol: Shiksa fever.
YourMoralLeader: please pray for me
RabbiGadol: It has destroyed countless Jewish souls.
RamBam: He thinks Sarah and about Hagar on the side
RabbiGadol: This is not good.
RabbiGadol: This internet is not good
RamBam: He thinks about marrying sisters like Rachel & Leah
Cindi: Emma? Emma? Did we lose you? We need you in this conversion, I mean conversation
RabbiGadol: I just don’t think it will work out. The other rabbis are convinced it is all a sham.
Emma: Im here
RamBam: And doing naughty things to them.
Cindi: Are you and your sister single like Rachel and Lea?
RabbiGadol: Emma, is there no nice strapping Irish lad in your village you can turn to for the love you crave?
Emma: Single.. nothing like rachel and lea though
RabbiGadol: We are afraid of losing Luke.
RamBam: The problem is that they are both pretty. Leah was not.
Emma: Dont worrie about that rabbi
RabbiGadol: Somewhere a Jewish woman’s heart is breaking yet again.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been going to the mikveh every morning and putting on tefillin and praying that HaShem send me an invite to the first seder.
It has not worked.
I no longer believe in the power of prayer and I despair about G-d intervening in our daily lives.
I’ve decided to take desperate measures.
I checked out from the Los Angeles Public Library "The Mystery Method: How To Get Beautiful Women Into Bed" by Mystery.
I’m going to apply his technique to snagging a seder invite.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
It seems some Jews have all the luck. They’re Shabbos and holiday invites overflow. They get all they want. Yet Your Moral Leader starves.
It makes one question the existence of an all-powerful all-beneficent deity.
Here are the basic premises of the Mystery Method according to Wikipedia:
The Mystery Method uses the term ‘value’ to describe the benefit of aligning oneself with a person or group with the potential to improve one’s reproductive chances (Replication value) or quality of life (Survival value). The male with the highest Survival and Replication value, in this case the alpha male poses a large possible threat to other males, whereas a very attractive woman possesses high R value. According to Mystery, women evaluate potential mates primarily in terms of the Survival (S) value they offer, while men evaluate potential mates in terms of their Replication (R) value.
The Mystery Method teaches that people have strong emotional reactions to others with significantly higher value. Men will have an emotional reaction in response to a very attractive women, while women will have an emotional reaction in response to men who display the qualities of the ‘Tribe Leader’. This emotional reaction leads to an adrenaline rush, and to demonstrate abnormal behavior around the other person. An exceptionally attractive woman causes this reaction in the majority of men, so the method teaches that she will subconsciously believe that any male who appears emotionally nonreactive to her is of higher value than she, and she will become attracted to him.
Many of the techniques taught as part of the method are ways for the user to demonstrate high ‘value’. Examples include story-telling with embedded (but well-concealed) bragging, appearing emotionally nonreactive to ‘targets’, and showing that the user is ‘preselected’ by other women. These techniques, along with many others, are taught as part of the ‘M3 Model’.
The rhetoric and vocabulary underpinning Mystery Method borrows heavily from Evolutionary Psychology – for instance ‘love‘ as an objective of human sexual relationships is replaced with pair bonding, which he defines as a strong bond between two individuals which is based on the subconscious desire to raise their Survival and Replication values.
Using Mystery’s tips, I’m going to start paying attention to the homelier Passover hosts, so the hot ones will get jealous and try to win my attention.
When I see a Passover host target, I’ll approach within three seconds so he notices no hesitation.
I won’t be picky. I’ll approach as many people as possible. As I move around the shul, the positive perception of me will grow.
Smile. Guys who don’t smile don’t get invites.
Rabbi Yosef denied his wife a get (Jewish divorce) for eleven years. She was a chained woman and could not remarry within traditional Judaism.
Steve Zakheim, the guy that has custody of Isaac Hersh, practiced massive fraud and sexual harassment according to a couple of Village Voice articles.
Tom Robbins writes March 16, 2004:
Steve Zakheim and his private ambulance corps won acclaim for handling delicate emergencies, like giving an ailing 800-pound man a free trip to the hospital—via forklift. Zakheim also won notice when his firm, MetroCare, received permission from a friendly Giuliani administration to install 911 radios in his fleet, a move that outraged city paramedic unions.
The energetic Zakheim founded Metropolitan Ambulance in the 1980s, and later made millions by merging it with a national company called Transcare. Still, he stayed aboard as chief operating officer at his bustling headquarters on Foster Avenue in Brooklyn.
Busy as Zakheim was, however, according to a lawsuit quietly settled this month, the ambulance tycoon also spent a good deal of time hitting on and harassing his female employees. The suit, filed in State Supreme Court in Brooklyn, was brought by 10 current and former staff members who worked for MetroCare. The workers claimed that Zakheim often set upon employees from the day they were hired, demanding sex in exchange for raises, boat rides, and tickets to Yankee games.
One woman, an emergency medical technician, said in legal papers that Zakheim and another company official called her to say that she "owed" them a sexual favor because they had allowed her to transport Derek Jeter to the hospital after he injured his knee in a July 4, 2002, game at Yankee Stadium, where MetroCare provides ambulance service.
Zakheim, 49, refused to discuss the lawsuit, which was withdrawn pursuant to an undisclosed settlement this month. "He denies all allegations set forth in the complaint," said his attorney, Mercedes Colwin. "The parties have now resolved it to their satisfaction."
Arnold Kriss, who represented the plaintiffs, also refused to talk about it. "My clients have instructed me not to make any comment," he said.
The lawsuit itself, however, was filed in the public record in July 2003, and came to light after Zakheim encountered other legal trouble last year. In November, the ambulance tycoon was arrested by the FBI and charged with using employees to make illegal campaign contributions to several political committees, including those of former mayor Giuliani and U.S. senator Chuck Schumer. Two weeks after that, federal attorneys in Brooklyn filed a civil fraud complaint against Zakheim and his companies, claiming they ripped off federal Medicare funds for more than $32 million through improper billings—and then forged records to cover it up.
Zakheim pled not guilty to the campaign contributions charge, and he has yet to be formally indicted in the case. Court records show he is involved in ongoing plea negotiations. In the fraud case, he has insisted he acted properly and has moved to dismiss the complaint.
The harassment lawsuit, however, depicts another side of operations at MetroCare, which calls itself the region’s largest private provider of medical transport. Covering events during an eight-year period from 1994 to 2002, the suit offers a long, sad litany of abuse, one made all the more disturbing because of the number of women relating it. Zakheim allegedly taunted and teased older employees, they claimed, while preying on the youngest. His office antics allegedly included grabbing employees’ hands and placing them in his opened zipper, and giving unrequested shoulder massages as women sat at their desks and peeking down their blouses.
"Look at the view," Zakheim allegedly said out loud as he stood behind Patricia Attanasio, a 36-year-old clerical employee. "You’ve got nice tits," he told Patricia Flournoy, a 50-year-old woman who worked for the company for five years, according to the lawsuit.
Behind closed doors in his office, Zakheim supposedly turned up the heat.
A woman who was 18 when she was hired by MetroCare, in 1998, said that in her first week on the job, Zakheim summoned her to his office and grilled her about her personal life. A few weeks later, the woman said, Zakheim offered her a ride home, only to lock the doors and grab her breasts as soon as she sat down in the passenger seat.
The employee said she later agreed to have sex with Zakheim, who is married, an affair carried out for months in his office and aboard his 37-foot pleasure boat. It ended, she said in the complaint, when she learned that her boss was having affairs with others in the office as well. Even after the woman became pregnant from a separate relationship, Zakheim allegedly continued to press her for sex, saying, "We don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant."
According to Geraldine Aronofsky, 52, who worked as manager of the call-receiving department, Zakheim’s standing orders were to hire only young, attractive women for the office, regardless of their experience.
"Once the individual woman applicant was hired, Defendant Zakheim attempted to date them," the complaint stated.
Former employees of Zakheim said that such women became known as "Steve Specials."
"You could tell who they were, because they were young, good-looking, and didn’t know how to do anything," said another former MetroCare employee not involved in the lawsuit, who asked to remain anonymous.
According to Aronofsky, Zakheim, an orthodox Jew, taunted her and others, saying: "Have you ever had Jewish meat before? Kosher meat is the best."
Aronofsky said in legal papers that she repeatedly protested Zakheim’s behavior, telling him it was "inappropriate and unprofessional." She said Zakheim insisted he would act how he pleased. "I can, and I will," she quoted him as saying. Another supervisor brushed her complaints aside, saying it was just "Steve being Steve."
Tara Bongiardina, 25, described in the complaint how she too received the full Zakheim after being hired in 1999. On her first day of work, she said, Zakheim asked her about herself, while standing embarrassingly close and leering at her body. A few weeks later, Zakheim allegedly called her into his office and offered her tickets to a Yankees game. "What am I going to get in return?" the boss allegedly asked, adding that he had "dreamed about" her the night before.
Tom Robbins writes June 15, 2004:
In his heyday, former ambulance mogul Steve Zakheim liked to give politicians the royal treatment when they visited the Brooklyn headquarters of MetroCare, the big emergency transport company he founded.
Elected officials would be ushered into the company’s conference room to give brief speeches to staffers. Zakheim would then hand over a stack of individual checks of $1,000 and $1,500 apiece, which he said represented support from his admiring employees. Last month, however, Zakheim, 49, quietly admitted in court that the routine was just for show. It was really his own money disguised to avoid donation limits, he acknowledged, and he had reimbursed his workers after asking them to write the checks.
Zakheim’s guilty plea comes seven months after he was charged in Brooklyn federal court with funneling $32,500 in phony contributions to the senatorial campaigns of Rudy Giuliani and Chuck Schumer, as well as the congressional races of Noach Dear and Melinda Katz. The complaint stated that Zakheim routed $10,500 in disguised contributions to Giuliani, then a candidate for the U.S. Senate. Giuliani, the complaint noted, made a personal fundraising appearance at Zakheim’s offices in March 1999. Several months later, the complaint noted, MetroCare was designated by the Giuliani administration as the first private ambulance firm allowed to respond directly to 911 calls.
Citing personal reasons, Zakheim stepped down in April from MetroCare, which is now owned by a national firm, TransCare. Zakheim’s departure came two weeks after the Voice revealed that he had settled a lawsuit brought by 10 current and former female employees accusing him of sexual harassment ("The Boss Will See You Now," March 24-30). He faces up to six months in prison when he is sentenced in August on the election fraud charge.
Here’s a report with comments:
Flatbush, NY – Rabbi Yehuda Kolko a former rabbi at Yeshiva Torah Temimah, who has been accused for molesting some of his students, has pleaded guilty to two counts of endangering the welfare of a child.
Rabbi Yehuda Kolko will have to undergo counseling and 3 years probation.
According to the lawyers representing the victims, today’s guilty plea by Rabbi kolko is a closure for the criminal case, however the civil case against Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Temimah which is being suit in the millions of dollars for covering up and not protecting the children and threatening parents who tried to report them, is ongoing, and Rabbi Kolkos guilty plea will help in this matter.
The Yeshiva denied those claims.
Nobody has ever translated Rabbi Jacob Emden‘s memoir into English because it is so raunchy.
It’s time somebody breaks this boundary.
A reader posts to Amazon.com:
This mischevious little book gathers excerpts from all over the Jewish legal codes on such topics as masturbation, nudity, looking at your partner in the nude, variations in positions, etctera, etcetera, all with the aim of demonstrating that the rabbis of sainted memory weren’t as prudish as their tzaddik portraits make them appear. Winkler is a provocateur par excellence, sifting through centuries of rabbinic literature to find minority opinions permitting nearly everything that contemporary ultraorthodoxy now notoriously prohibits. The jewel in the crown is a translation of Jacob of Emden’s 18th-century responsum defending the halachic validity of concubinage (an non-marital arrangement between a man and an unmarried woman that can be terminated at will). Concubinage has long been legislated out of existence, but Jacob of Emden’s dissenting opinion holds that as long as an unmarried woman is (a) using the mikveh, and (b) monogamous, there should be no problem for her to have relations with a man (married or unmarried) under concubinage laws. Rabbis who disagree, like Maimonides, who holds that such a woman would be a kedesha (prostitute), or Nachmanides, who holds that concubinage is a perogative for kings only, don’t get much airtime here. This book is all about stirring the pot.
So who is this book intended for? Unmarried Torah Jews aren’t going to suddenly start sneaking off to the mikveh, and why would anyone else need a heter for what they are going to do anyway? I’m puzzled about that one. But then I read the book, so what can I say.
As an aside, it’s interesting that Winkler interprets "turning over the table" in Nedarim 20b as a variation in sexual position. Traditional interpretation actually holds that this passage refers to something considerably raunchier. And, yes, even black-hat rabbis agree that it’s permitted.
Click here to join the fun!
guest7: what is it with you and brad pitt and chipmunk cheeks?
YourMoralLeader: praise the good L-rd
guest7: there must be something about both of your facial structures that causes your cheeks to look like you both have nuts stored in them
guest7: ok found a pic of Pitt with chipmunk cheeks
guest7: http://buzznet-00.vo.llnwd.net/media/jj1/2008/04/idol-pitt/brad-pitt-idol-gives-back-01.jpg
guest7: we were talking about it over at the anti brangelina site
guest7: amongst other things
guest7: http://femalefirst.co.uk/board/viewforum.php?f=40&sid=c32b29c84bf1a14be23e66ab31b7dff7
guest7: that’s the anti brangie gossip site
guest7: so, you think McCain will win in November?
YourMoralLeader: yes
guest7: I think so too
guest7: I don’t think either Obama or Hillary has a chance
guest7: Luke what are you doing for exercise these days?
YourMoralLeader: walking weights
guest7: walking with weights?
guest7: good
guest7: I’ve been swimming every day
guest7: some days I can do a lot, some not
guest7: we have a junior olympic sized pool – 25 meters I think
YourMoralLeader: nice
watchingyoublog: have you read the book sacred secrets by gershon winkler?
YourMoralLeader: no
watchingyoublog: heard of it?
YourMoralLeader: i’ve heard of him but dont know anything
watchingyoublog: http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Secrets-Sanctity-Jewish-Lore/dp/076579974X
watchingyoublog: it is right up your alley
YourMoralLeader: hmm, turning over the table
YourMoralLeader: how’s the job search?
watchingyoublog: i found a job
watchingyoublog: waiting to start
watchingyoublog: cleaning for pesach and thinking about sex
cuntpunt: GOOD MORNING LUKE BABY
cuntpunt: YOU LOOK GOOD
YourMoralLeader: hi
watchingyoublog: c**tpunt are you aware that using all caps lock looks like you are yelling?
watchingyoublog: ha
YourMoralLeader: Watching, I’m sending you private messages
cuntpunt: yes i do…..but thank you
YourMoralLeader: Does anyone have anything profound to say about sex?
cuntpunt: I watched a kid whack off this morning on camstreams Luke
cuntpunt: He was not well endowed but fun to watch
YourMoralLeader: lol
YourMoralLeader: how old?
cuntpunt: he was young, maybe about 20
YourMoralLeader: did you become aroused?
cuntpunt: yes i did, slightly, thought about what he smelled like
cuntpunt: prolly smelled like BO
YourMoralLeader: r u male or female?
cuntpunt: female
cuntpunt: what are you listening to? I like it
YourMoralLeader: haydn
YourMoralLeader: did your parents name you c**tpunt?
cuntpunt: yes, can you believe it?
YourMoralLeader: how do you like the name?
cuntpunt: I have gotten accustomed to it
YourMoralLeader: I understand c**t
YourMoralLeader: but what does c**tpunt mean?
cuntpunt: what do you think, everyone has a different idea
YourMoralLeader: no idea
cuntpunt: me either
cuntpunt: really enjoy your room LUke
YourMoralLeader: thank you!
cuntpunt: except when that rabbi guy comes in and s**ts on you
YourMoralLeader: Rev Des
cuntpunt: you keep the longest viewers in camstreams, bacause you are so entertaining
cuntpunt: loved the day you wrapped the tefillin!
YourMoralLeader: thanks!
guest9: how has your life changed since you stopped reporting on the porn industry?
YourMoralLeader: more integrated
YourMoralLeader: just a big burden off me
cuntpunt: were you in porn Luke?
YourMoralLeader: i wrote on it
cuntpunt: oh
guest9: are you happier?
YourMoralLeader: yes
cuntpunt: look at him, hes exstatic
RevDesmondFord: you are a disappointment, boy.
RevDesmondFord: a wretched, pathetic disappointment.
RevDesmondFord: I ought to beat your sniveling face to a pulp.
YourMoralLeader: hmm
RevDesmondFord: your anti-Semitism sickens me.
YourMoralLeader: I’m just a truth seeker
RevDesmondFord: you are a self-seeking liar.
RevDesmondFord: your obsession with portraying the Jews in a negative light gives the lie to your mock piety.
RevDesmondFord: It doesn’t take a Torah scholar to see that you violate every moral principle of Judaism with your very existence. Your charade is disgusting.
YourMoralLeader: good point
RevDesmondFord: weak retort.
RevDesmondFord: youjellyfish.
RevDesmondFord: happy with yourself?
YourMoralLeader: I’m ok. How about you?
RevDesmondFord: we both know you despise yourself. and your twisted self-loathing compels you to behave like an attention-whoring Hitler acolyte.
RevDesmondFord: You are an enemy of the Jews.
RevDesmondFord: creep.
YourMoralLeader: what’s the prognosis for your horse, emma?
Emma: Liver Failure
YourMoralLeader: permanent liver failure?
Emma: She could have an operation
Emma: But I can’t help her with that
YourMoralLeader: how much would an operation cost emma?
Emma: My aunt is trying to find someone who can take on that responsibility
Emma: I dunno Luke but pretty expensive.
palestine4ever: how’s it hangin, Moral Overlord?
Emma: I mean she could have this for a while.. I can’t ride her or do anything with her anymore. I need someone to take the horse off me, who will be able to treat her now.
YourMoralLeader: I’m eating soy cereal
chihuahua: wots that?
chihuahua: never heard of that is it good for you
palestine4ever: I just finished my daily bowl of broken glass and motor oil
YourMoralLeader: soy turns you gay
palestine4ever: High estrogen in soy
chihuahua: soy sauce
palestine4ever: Emma, I’m a big fan of four legged animals.
palestine4ever: Is there a substantial breeding potential in this horse of yours?
YourMoralLeader: I’m a big fan of emma
YourMoralLeader: thanks for posting your pic arab
palestine4ever: beware the Oirish girls with blue eyes
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s got lots of breeding potential, dunno about the horse
palestine4ever: Now now, Luke, think of the children
palestine4ever: They’re here looking for guidance in the ways of pleasure negation
YourMoralLeader: I am! She’s gonna have eight of mine! For HaShem!
Emma: Yes If she is well of course.. But i’m not sure of the affects once cured.
YourMoralLeader: With Emma, I feel like a terrorist who’s blown himself up and landed in Heaven
chihuahua: 8 is too many these days
palestine4ever: Luke sees himself as a latter day Dick Van Patten
palestine4ever: Luke, I will win you to Islam yet
YourMoralLeader: Alluah Akbar!
palestine4ever: Now imagine having four or five Emmas, 40 or 50 children…
palestine4ever: and a wonderful state subsidy to pay for all of them while you’re going off to stud
YourMoralLeader: praise the good L-rd
palestine4ever: Yes, praise our Fire Breathing Allah, for He is wise
wackey: do these screwballs give you crap like this all the time?
palestine4ever: Luke, do many people from your shul know about your site?
YourMoralLeader: usually it is worse, wackey
YourMoralLeader: yes, most arab
YourMoralLeader: they gather in the evenings and read select portions to their many children
palestine4ever: I won’t ask if they judge you
palestine4ever: ‘cuz, y’know, they’re Jews, and they do that kind of thing
palestine4ever: I’ve got to figure that overarching moral superiority is one of the benefits of being Jewish
YourMoralLeader: I’ve missed talking to you arab
wackey: who cares if your a jew or christian or arab , we are all people ?
palestine4ever: Heh, I’ve missed these fireside chats
YourMoralLeader: so much wisdom arab for a goy
palestine4ever: Ah, there’s no knowledge that you can’t fake with chauvinism and stereotypes
palestine4ever: We are all people, Wackey
User guest30 left the room.
wackey: so why the taunting
palestine4ever: It’s all in fun.
wackey: ok , well that ok then
palestine4ever: Luke is a Jewish convert, and I figure if he converted once, I’ve got good odds on getting him to convert again
YourMoralLeader: Yay, I’m Emma’s #1 MySpace friend and she’s mine!
palestine4ever: He’s already bitter about women, and "hates fun", so he’s halfway to Islam already!
YourMoralLeader: no alcohol!
palestine4ever: Plus the beard, that too.
wackey: there is one creator who you think it is , is your thoughts alone
palestine4ever: Luke, does it bother you that the guy you sold your other site to is still pretending to be you?
YourMoralLeader: no
YourMoralLeader: Do I look more like a terrorist, rabbi or homeless?
palestine4ever: There’s a lot of mainstream linkage connecting your name to it
palestine4ever: the "Born to Blog" bit and so on
palestine4ever: You’re in LA, you just kind of look like a surf bum to me
Emma: lol
wackey: Carter is going to talk to the Hammas dudes
palestine4ever: but all of you West Coast people are a little scrubby to me
palestine4ever: Wackey, to be perfectly serious, ex-presidents have often engaged in that kind of informal diplomacy
palestine4ever: Nixon met with Vladimir Zhirinovsky before he died, fer Allah’s mercy
wackey: thats what we need
guest52: we are staging an intervention…we will force luke at gunpoint to shave off that damn thing on his punim
Emma: I like the beard
Emma: loool
guest52: then the beard stays on…emma is the boss
guest52: think of all the extra time you will have now with luke as shaving was too time consuming
YourMoralLeader: How come Russian Dragon and Sarah have the same IP address?
russiandragon: now that’s funny
russiandragon: maybe i like crossdressing
Emma: Thanks Luke 🙂
Emma: Russian you fooled me
guest52: rd have you been to the red light district in antwerpen lately ??
Emma: I thought there was a Sarah lol
YourMoralLeader: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416508/
YourMoralLeader: Becoming Jane
YourMoralLeader: gonna watch tonight
Emma: Russian don’t speak to me with someone elses name
Emma: It’s not funny
Emma: Ive heard of that one Luke
Emma: Havn’t seen it yet
Emma: Looks good
andy: hi did you do the bank job last night luke
Cindi: What is this classical stuff? Where is the Air Supply? Or is that only for romantic evenings?
andy: how much money did you get
YourMoralLeader: which bank job andy?
YourMoralLeader: i did several last night
YourMoralLeader: Welcome rabbi
andy: did you get another get away car
YourMoralLeader: Do you think can beat out Korobkin?
ElazarMuskin: I could beat out Korobkin
Cindi: it’s a get away VAN
ElazarMuskin: but I want what’s best for the shul
ElazarMuskin: Unity
andy: how much money did u get
YourMoralLeader: enough to fly emma over
ElazarMuskin: no more divisiveness
andy: i still want my share of the money
RamBam: Hi Moral Leader!
ElazarMuskin: Emma should sell her horse and use the money to fly over
andy: i supplied the guns to you
ElazarMuskin: Uneasy lies the head that wears a kippah
ElazarMuskin: Do you find that to be so Luke?
YourMoralLeader: Yes rabbi
andy: i want my share of the money
YourMoralLeader: ok fine
ElazarMuskin: How is your jugs of urine supply holding out?
guest52: the rabbanite & bait din are all corrupt…its all about who has the most money.. WINS !!
YourMoralLeader: RD, I suspected you were Sarah when she said she pined for you
YourMoralLeader: but I couldn’t be bothered checking the IP addy
Emma: Pour some sugar on me!
guest52: its not urine..its love juice
User guest65 left the room.
RamBam: Is Luke still trying to convert Emma?
ElazarMuskin: I believe he drinks saltpeter
ElazarMuskin: mixed with water
Cindi: urine supply? geez this is worse then the usual chat rooms I hang out in
ElazarMuskin: no, he’s trying to seduce emma
ElazarMuskin: Cindi- Luke is into recycling in a big way
RamBam: Seduce her into marriage or wanton sex?
ElazarMuskin: neither- he wants her money
andy: he needs a shave
ElazarMuskin: enough to buy a decent used car
Emma: what money?
guest52: chinese wonton sex
RamBam: Razors at Costco are on sale.
andy: he did a bank job last night
Cindi: now we are listening to banging music!
ElazarMuskin: Luke do you feel as strong a fellowship here, in your chatroom as when you are at shul?
Cindi: I am so tempted to correct "bank" job, but I don’t know what the acceptable venacular is in here, lol
RamBam: Luke, shouldn’t you be married before you grow a beard?
YourMoralLeader: It’s a different fellowship rabbi
ElazarMuskin: Yes. Here, you are the Leader
YourMoralLeader: RamBam, is that the halachah?
ElazarMuskin: In the land of the blind the one eyed man is king
ElazarMuskin: How is your Kiddush Club doing Luke?
andy: right im calling the police
RamBam: I like it as custom. Forces young men to get married to take the appearance of a man.
andy: im on the phone now
RamBam: What are you doing for Seder?
YourMoralLeader: gotta find a first one
YourMoralLeader: we don’t have a kiddush club, rabbi at shul
YourMoralLeader: maybe we do, i’m not invited
RamBam: You don’t have a Seder?
ElazarMuskin: yes
YourMoralLeader: not the first one yet
RamBam: Shouldn’t you be trying to find one?
YourMoralLeader: yes
andy: right the cops r on their way
Cindi: you should have an online cam Seder
RamBam: There are many in LA.
guest52: i’m in
andy: you look worried
guest52: he doesn’t eat gebrokts
RamBam: Do you think there is anything special about the fact that Seder will fall on Hitler’s birthday like during the Warsaw uprising?
RamBam: Do you think Jesus had a Seder or do you believe that Seder is a more recent ritual and Jesus celebrated a different way?
andy: look out of your wndow they cant be far no
guest52: im scared for you luke i wil come & protect you from those cops
RamBam: Why are the cops coming?
andy: he did a n
RamBam: a N?
andy: he did a bank job last night
ElazarMuskin: BJ or bank job?
guest52: if they will take you in i will bring you a file & some kosher food & your tefillin of course
Emma: Love this song
RamBam: Bank job to pay for a bj?
andy: bank job
ElazarMuskin: more likely a hj in a back alley off Pico
RamBam: I thought he stopped fooling around with Holly.
RamBam: Isn’t that her corner?
YourMoralLeader: it was a moment of weakness rabbi, not my true self
guest52: corner pico & what
YourMoralLeader: passoveris all about new beginnings
RamBam: What are you smiling at?
andy: thats a worried smile
RamBam: Do you think the world was created in the spring or the fall?
YourMoralLeader: no idea
Emma: Was there even a season
Emma: Lost sound Luke
RamBam: The Mystery Method?
ElazarMuskin: what of it?
ElazarMuskin: RamBam Luke wishes to teach Emma the intricacies of the big bang
YourMoralLeader: bava kama sutra, rabbi
RamBam: Is that how to pck up women?
Emma: lol
wackey: we were put here from another planet or world as an experiment , to see if we make it
wackey: we have evolved from apes , the only thing is where is the missing link
Cindi: so small bangs are fine for you Emma
RamBam: Luke? Do you believe you are the center of the universe?
statepolice: andy has been arrested for taking part in a armed robbery with mr ford you are all being monitored
Emma: lol cindi
YourMoralLeader: Rambam, it is one of my beliefs
guest52: short bangs on anyone frames the face well just look at luke
Cindi: Wackey- I suggest the documentary Humanizee
wackey: we are not alone!
RamBam: What will happen to us when you die?
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, you are right
YourMoralLeader: Please pray for me with Rev. Des
Emma: Judgement
ElazarMuskin: RamBam I think we will all cease to exist. Am i right yml?
Cindi: no the Elohim are watching
wackey: the same as before you were born , nothing
YourMoralLeader: I believe we will all get what we deserve
Emma: Yep
Emma: Good or bad
ElazarMuskin: what we deserve as it relates to you?
RamBam: How did I exist before your birth? Or is that all illusion?
wackey: you did not exist
ElazarMuskin: what about those unfortunates who don’t know Luke yet?
ElazarMuskin: Is their any hope for them?
RamBam: Was that a dating/pickup book he held up?
Cindi: they do not yet exist
statepolice: mr ford you are being watched your house is surrounded with armed police
Cindi: house? no hovel
RamBam: Did you hold up a book about getting women into bed?
wackey: this is exisright now , when your dead your dead
RamBam: Is that how you plan to find a Seder?
Cindi: but I guess your "studio apartment is surrounded" doesn’t sound quite the same over a police megaphone
RamBam: My kippah was a big yellow smiley face!
guest73: grizl adams?
ElazarMuskin: when i shut down my luke camstream it is like being dead
wackey: so what
guest73: grizly*
ElazarMuskin: there is a void
YourMoralLeader: RamBam, not the best technique?
guest72: who is this state police luke is he a idiot
YourMoralLeader: I’m going to use the Mystery Method for Getting A Seder invite
guest73: dude.ya need a shave
RamBam: I don’t know. I’m not looking to bang a girl at my Seder.
YourMoralLeader: but that’s you
Emma: Lovley way to put it Rambam
RamBam: Yes. So who are you lining up?
RamBam: Emma do you know the four questions?
Emma: who what where and when?
wackey: who , what , where and when
statepolice: you are all being mnitored guest72 you are also being monitored
wackey: so what
RamBam: No. Like "Why is this night different from all other nights?"
ElazarMuskin: Luke are you a blogger or a journalist?
User guest74 left the room.
RamBam: If you did, you could play the youngest child.
RamBam: Luke might like that.
Emma: Thats one question
wackey: if the police would be watching , do you think they would tell you ? screwball.
Cindi: Luke is a connundrum.
RamBam: The others are why do we eat matzohs
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, both. It depends.
User yourheartsdesire left the room.
RamBam: Why bitter herbs
RamBam: Why did vegetables twice
RamBam: Why recline at the table
statepolice: mr ford you are in the process of being arreseted along with andy and 72
YourMoralLeader: ok
RamBam: It’s really 5 but its called 4 questions.
wackey: because my back hurts
Emma: lol
ElazarMuskin: Statepolice are you over the age of 12?
wackey: no
wackey: 11
RamBam: I think statepolice is at a strip club.
Emma: Try some yoga wackey
RamBam: If he were really a cop he’d be at Dunkin Donuts.
wackey: Im old and decreped , sick no good
RamBam: Jesus healing is in another room
RamBam: This is the whiny jew room
statepolice: you are all suspects of the armed robbery of natwest last night
Cindi: lol ram
RamBam: Get a warrant or shut up.
RamBam: I’m a Jew. I’ve got lawyers.
statepolice: you look woried mr ford
wackey: you need a shave , dude
statepolice: in fact very orred
RamBam: He’s got no worries. His congregation is likely full of lawyers.
ElazarMuskin: he should be worried at how you;re ruining his chat statepolice
statepolice: worried
Cindi: Luke do you want publicity for your chat room? Or are you keeping it to your loyal followers?
YourMoralLeader: sure, pimp it out cindi
YourMoralLeader: thanks
ElazarMuskin: luke you should hang a nice curtain behind you
wackey: Im here for the beer
RamBam: Are you the Cindi that’s friends with Gauge?
ElazarMuskin: maybe get an oriental screen
ElazarMuskin: she’s Cindi Loftis
Emma: Curtain without a window?
RamBam: I thought Luke gave up porn.
ElazarMuskin: I’m in Ireland
wackey: Merica , yes
ElazarMuskin: on a mission
ElazarMuskin: Luke told us about you Cindi
yourheartsdesire: lol
ElazarMuskin: before you got here
Cindi: I never said my last name. I am a friend of Luke, ahhh so my secrets have been revealed
RamBam: I did research.
wackey: are those your real teeth ?
statepolice: gotcha
Emma: Where in Ireland Elazar?
ElazarMuskin: I think it’s the spelling Cindi. Cindi with an "I" is so um, unique
Cindi: DUCK luke, "shots fired"
ElazarMuskin: very near you Emma
Cindi: two eyes, lol
yourheartsdesire: luke are you st nicholas
ElazarMuskin: and getting closer
User nathan left the room.
RamBam: Lots of viewed many Gauge films just to how evil porn was.
Cindi: good for you Ram, now you know better
Emma: Ok
ElazarMuskin: just kidding Emma. Just there in spirit
Emma: lol
Cindi: back to LUke please….. lol
ElazarMuskin: What’s your next move Luke?
RamBam: Are there any Jews in Ireland?
yourheartsdesire: i think you are luke st nicholas in disguse
Emma: Dunno
YourMoralLeader: find a seder, rabbi, can I come to yours again?
RamBam: Which rabbi are you talking to?
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi Muskin
RamBam: You can come to mine but it’s in NYC.
User statepolice changed their name to andy.
RamBam: I think andy was impersonating a cop.
RamBam: That’s a felony.
andy: i think iwas
yourheartsdesire: what time is it there luke?
andy: what time is it in los angeles
wackey: 3:47
RamBam: Party Time!
yourheartsdesire: lol
guest75: it is 00:47 AM in Maastricht
ElazarMuskin: can you read us a passage luke
RamBam: Luke’s clock is running a bit fast.
ElazarMuskin: maybe a short story like "The Old Man and the Sea?
yourheartsdesire: brb
andy: its 23.48 here in the uk
RamBam: How about a midrash on this week’s parsha?
andy: and ive got a day of work tomorrow
andy: yipppppeeee
RamBam: Are you concerned about skin cancer?
yourheartsdesire: the space ships are coming
guest75: let them come
Cindi: very interesting group of people in here
wackey: yes , I had cancer but it was removed i hope
andy: im a washing machine now
RamBam: With Cindi Loftus here it has to be interesting.
Cindi: oye vay
guest75: explain
yourheartsdesire: im a slave
wackey: mazeltof
guest75: okéeee
Cindi: LUke you are very handsome as always
Cindi: But I do like the curtain idea
yourheartsdesire: to the kitchen sink
wackey: shave ,man
guest75: Uh ?
RamBam: You like to lie don’t you Cindi
andy: im getting dddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiizzy im on quick spin
yourheartsdesire: wacky he is father xmas
ElazarMuskin: Cindi likes everyone
guest75: Cindi..?
Cindi: Or even changing backdrops, like the beach, the pyramids, you could travel all over the world without leaving the hovel
wackey: he needs to gain 100 lbs.
ElazarMuskin: if he gained 100 lbs he’d be chaim amalek
wackey: Santa
yourheartsdesire: not with that beard he doesn’t
andy: wave to me
wackey: sumo
guest75: wow
andy: wave
Cindi: andy- you are funny as heck, I don’t care what anyone says
andy: i waving at you
guest75: Cindi: i love you
wackey: Cindi where are you ??
yourheartsdesire: smile luke it wont hurt
guest75: but you don’t care
RamBam: Broward County?
andy: thanks cindy
wackey: Merica , urop
Cindi: I try to like everyone, I don’t. I am in Florida, thanks for the love. I love Luke, always have
ElazarMuskin: Cindi hosted Luke at a swingers retreat at her home
wackey: I just came from Florida
ElazarMuskin: it was the same trip where Luke met Holly Randall
wackey: Spring training
ElazarMuskin: they shagged outdoors
Cindi: lmao, nope sorry that was in Tampa, I wasn’t there
guest75: Ohhh, Cindi,…i realy love you. You are so kind..;-))
RamBam: But you like that AC Cream guy right? So maybe you have a soft spot for psychos?
ElazarMuskin: under the liveoaks and swaying spanish moss
andy: cccccccccccccoooooooooeeeeee luke im waving
wackey: St petersburg too
Cindi: i am a psycho, so I stick to my own kind. I am in Fort Lauderdale
RamBam: live oaks are very romantic 🙂
wackey: Clearwater
guest75: I’m also waving, here in Maastricht
RamBam: So I was right. Broward.
Cindi: Luke- does that mean something in deaf sign language?
YourMoralLeader: it means i have sore elbows
YourMoralLeader: and have to stretch to overcome the carpal tunnel/blogger elbow
Cindi: so you need a maid and a massuse
wackey: you can sue the internet
YourMoralLeader: I was moving an ex-Gf the past two days, I’m sore and tired and my back hurts. But I was a gent.
Cindi: She musta been heavy
RamBam: You could pump juice like you did 2 weeks or so ago
YourMoralLeader: Having dinner with an ex-porn star turned Xtian masseuse tomorrow night
YourMoralLeader: She used to be known as "Aria"
YourMoralLeader: maybe she’ll rub my elbow before desert
Cindi: the one with muscles?
YourMoralLeader: yes
Cindi: Perhaps she will rub you for dessert
YourMoralLeader: or after would be fine too
RamBam: You hang out with alot of porn people Luke. Are you sure you’re out?
YourMoralLeader: nothing too intimate
YourMoralLeader: Just doing kiruv RamBam
Cindi: He is ministering to the down trodden
RamBam: Aria’s a Jew?
Cindi: She will be when Luke is done with her
RamBam: Did you make you a Jew?
YourMoralLeader: I’m following in the footsteps of Christ
Cindi: now I am really confused, lol
RamBam: You mean hanging with by whores?
RamBam: Like Mary Magdalene?
YourMoralLeader: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method
YourMoralLeader: yeah, is that wrong?
RamBam: So you’re mixing Talmud and pickup lines?
Cindi: Luke do you get commision from Myster?
YourMoralLeader: just the simple pleasure of doing a mitzvah
RamBam: So you see seduction as a mitzvah?
YourMoralLeader: sometimes
RamBam: Is there intercourse?
Cindi: It’s not a mitzvah if you like it
YourMoralLeader: only within marriage, Rambam
RamBam: So you’re seducing without physical seduction?
RamBam: His bookcase is neater than the last time I was here
Cindi: THat’s not realy his room, that is poster of a mess
Cindi: Luke, can’t you get talking typing, so you don’t have to type so much>?
RamBam: I hope everyone has finished their taxes.
Kate: do u live alone luke
YourMoralLeader: hi kate
YourMoralLeader: Yes
Kate: ok
Kate: me too
YourMoralLeader: is that wrong?
Kate: it get lonley
YourMoralLeader: yes it does
YourMoralLeader: that’s why I’m on my cam so much
Kate: lol
Kate: i should get one
RamBam: Kate. That isn’t a very Jewish name.
RamBam: YOu spend all day chatting with shiksas.
Kate: lol i dont know where its from
RamBam: How are you going to find a good Jewish wife?
RamBam: Have you ever thought of doing the Lord’s work in prisons?
RamBam: There must be plenty of lost girls look to be seduced for the Lord.
RamBam: Why didn’t you use the Mystery Method on Kate?
Cindi: No leprecans are only in Ireland so you gave it away
Emma: Busted
Cindi: I like you Emma
Emma: Thanks Cindi.. I like you too
Gina: Group Hug!
RamBam: How did you happen upon Luke’s cam, Emma?
Emma: Hmm
Emma: I think on camstreams Rambam
Cindi: The question is will you go to LA to visit LUke and fall in love?
RamBam: Don’t do it!
Emma: That is the question on everyones lips
RamBam: Don’t do it!
Gina: Emma have you ever been to the U.S.?
Cindi: He’s easy to love, hard to like
Emma: Nope
Emma: Never
Emma: Never left mars Cindi
RamBam: Luke’s quietly watching us.
Emma: twilight zone
Emma: de de de de
Gina: do do do do
Cindi: Well Emma US has lots of beauty, LA is not great, surrounding area is very nice to visit
Cindi: Love Twiglight zone, lol
Emma: Ive seen pictures yeah
Emma: Looks good
Gina: emma likes gumby
Gina: and pokey
Emma: Everything and everyone looks good in la
Emma: I do gina!
Cindi: Lots of fake stuff and people in LA. LUke isn’t like that
Emma: I know..
RamBam: New York is interesting.
Cindi: Luke is one of the most REAL people I’ve ever known.
Emma: Everywhere is interesting
Emma: Can’t wait to travel
Cindi: NY State is beautiful especially in the fall
Cindi: NY City is not for me, but lots of people love the lights and buildings
RamBam: No. New Jersey isn’t interesting.
Emma: Anywhere looks interesting for me
Emma: All ive known is ireland
RamBam: Prague is beautiful.
RamBam: So is Budapest.
RamBam: Vienna is very impressive.
Cindi: lol NJ IS interesting, you neber tawk to a jursey gawl?
Emma: Italy is on my list
Cindi: Ram, I’ve seen all those places in Las Vegas!
RamBam: Exactly. Not interesting.
Gina: Emma, you should def do Venice w/ Luke
RamBam: Venice is very nice. But come in my boat. You have to come in by boat.
Cindi: My friend Gauge just did the Europeon tour of all those places Ram
RamBam: When was that?
Cindi: i’ve only been to the US and lots of tropical islands and Mexico and Canada
Gina: Is it hot in L.A. today?
Emma: Are you a model Cindi?
RamBam: Mexico is very dirty.
Emma: Mexico looks good Monterrey anyway
Cindi: Ram- She went to a convention a few months ago and took a 3 week detour around
Cindi: Emma- I am a writer
Emma: What is your subject Cindi?
RamBam: Porn.
Cindi: Many subjects Emma, but my main job is interviewing porn stars. My husband has cooked me dinner. I must go
Emma: Gina you ever got your eyelashes tinted?
RamBam: He looks a bit pasty to have been sunbathing.
Gina: no, no need have you?
Gina: if I would I would tint them pink I think
Emma: I got it done today.. I mean they are dark already but i was curious
Emma: Omg
Emma: Nightmare
Gina: why?
Emma: I could harldy see after lmao
Gina: is it permament?
Emma: Nope
YourMoralLeader: hi
Gina: Your eyes must really be gorgeous now 🙂
YourMoralLeader: thank you
Emma: It does look cool
Emma: lmao!
Emma: Never again though
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