Tag Archives: beard

I’m Thinking Of Oiling My Beard

Outside of therapy today, I sat in the sun next to a guy with a big ol’ gash on his left ear. It was all bloody. We got to talking as I tend to do around people with bloody ears. … Continue reading

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Goy Joy Lives – I’m Meditating Live On My Cam To Abstract Sanskrit Chants

From my live cam: guest7:  You now have two traditions where wisdom is associated with a beard: Hinduism and Judaism. Now if you embrace Islam, you’ll be on your way to embracing beard-loving religions. guest7:  What’s your next beard-loving tradition … Continue reading

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Buying Men Plants

From my live chat: guest63:  Now men are comparing women to dogs that we buy you balloons so "mark our territory"?  If we wanted to mark our territory, we would star decorating your apartments, or buy a plant so you … Continue reading

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At The Top Of Every Hour, I’m Gonna Pop A Balloon Until My Demands Are Met

From my live cam: Video palestine4ever:  This is literally music that terminally depressed housewives murder children to. BackToBlack:  i beg of you KILL ME palestine4ever:  I can see Andrea Yates putting on one of Luke’s Mellow Gold K-Tel records and … Continue reading

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Why Are Jews So Crazy?

palestine4ever:  hello Mr. Luke. palestine4ever:  Why are Jews so crazy? palestine4ever:  I’m not female but if I was, I still cannot wrap my head around a rabbi seduction fantasy. palestine4ever:  Pun intended. palestine4ever:  It’s like writing erotic fan fiction about … Continue reading

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When Did You Last See Your Father?

This was the third terrific film I’ve seen in three nights. Video It’s a smart British number. Their storytelling ethos is more pessimistic than the American and it usually strikes me as smarter. Here’s a comment on the film from … Continue reading

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Emma’s Great California Vacation

From my live cam chat: Emma:  You know…. Emma:  I think its time for a trim YourMoralLeader:  trim of what? Emma:  Of… Emma:  Your… Emma:  Beard…….. YourMoralLeader:  charisma? Emma:  lol YourMoralLeader:  I’d lose my moral strength YourMoralLeader:  like samson Emma:  … Continue reading

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I’m Live In My Chat Room With Rabbi Gadol

From my chat room: RabbiG:  I’m here to do an audit. RabbiG:  Tzitzit – check. RabbiG:  Keepah – check RabbiG:  Beard – it grows jonnie:  But I like his cheeky smile RabbiG:  Virtuous women in chat room – check QuixoticLass:  … Continue reading

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My Crucifixion & Resurrection

Tearing down the temple. Throwing out the money changers. Flipping off the beit din! Justification by faith! Sanctification! The Heavenly Sanctuary! Judging the saints! Look at my erection!  I can’t be more specific. I know you want the goss, but … Continue reading

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Feeling My Age

So three women in their twenties call me Saturday night and invite me to go out with them. I dress up in my Saturday night finest and after an hour or so of chit chat, they’re ready to hit the … Continue reading

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