Emma: You know….
Emma: I think its time for a trim
YourMoralLeader: trim of what?
YourMoralLeader: I’d lose my moral strength
YourMoralLeader: like samson
Emma: Of course not
Emma: Hey Lass
QuixoticLass: hi emma
YourMoralLeader: M, we’re in a time of the jewish calendar when one is not permitted to shave or cut one’s hair
YourMoralLeader: so sorry
Emma: Yeah sure
YourMoralLeader: you can trim me when you come out
QuixoticLass: no it’s true emma
YourMoralLeader: QL, explain the sefira to Emma
Emma: You cant shave?
YourMoralLeader: boss was married to a rabbi
YourMoralLeader: she knows why
QuixoticLass: it’s the counting of the omer. from the time passover starts until Shavuot (literally "feast of weeks") you are not permitted to cut your hair or get married
guest33: U PLANK!
Emma: I see
YourMoralLeader: i’m going wild
YourMoralLeader: no woman will get me to trim
QuixoticLass: for 49 days you are in a kind of mourning
YourMoralLeader: except emma
YourMoralLeader: and she has to trim me in person
YourMoralLeader: with kindness
User guest33 was banned by broadcaster/admin.
User guest33 left the room.
Emma: What if I cut you
YourMoralLeader: if you make me bleed, you’re not getting any sex from me.
YourMoralLeader: not even when we’re married
Emma: Shave yourself
YourMoralLeader: maybe you can pull the hairs out one by one
QuixoticLass: if you don’t have sex when you’re married, you won’t really be married
Emma: Yeah that wont hurt much
YourMoralLeader: do you shave emma?
Emma: Of course
Emma: Just not my face Luke….
Emma: Too late
Emma: What i do!
QuixoticLass: you are a lech
QuixoticLass: Levi, not emma
Emma: So where is the nearest b&b to you Luke?
QuixoticLass: Levi, you had more fun than I did last night
YourMoralLeader: what’s a b&B?
QuixoticLass: bed and breakfast
YourMoralLeader: I got one right here at the hovel
YourMoralLeader: then there’s julie’s house
Emma: Julie… where is the nearest b&b?
YourMoralLeader: but you can stay with me, M
YourMoralLeader: there are hotels near me
QuixoticLass: your bed is barely big enough for you
YourMoralLeader: M’s not fat
QuixoticLass: don’t they charge by the hour?
YourMoralLeader: don’t be a princess Emma, you’ll love the hovel
Emma: Hotel.. too expensive
YourMoralLeader: hovel’s free
Emma: Im not being a princess Luke
QuixoticLass: everything here is expensive
QuixoticLass: esp b&b
YourMoralLeader: no need to fear for your virtue
Emma: Where exactly do I sleep?
QuixoticLass: in the fridge
YourMoralLeader: the hotels are cheap about $50 a night
YourMoralLeader: you would have my bed Emma
YourMoralLeader: and I’d sleep at your feet by the computer
YourMoralLeader: you can trust me
QuixoticLass: $50/night? omg I would have to bring lysol and my own linen
Emma: Of course I can…
Emma: But you know.. I’m meeting you for the first time
YourMoralLeader: bring your dad into the chatroom, we’ll sort this out right now
Emma: I doubt that will happen
QuixoticLass: any hotel that costs $50/night is too scuzzy for Emma
YourMoralLeader: we’ll be on the road most of the time Emma
YourMoralLeader: sleeping in the back of my van
QuixoticLass: You’d have to take her to the Tower
YourMoralLeader: of London?
QuixoticLass: of Beverwil and Pico
YourMoralLeader: too expensive
Emma: Your van….
YourMoralLeader: too far away
QuixoticLass: it’s walking distance
YourMoralLeader: but I’ll be too tired from walking to try anything
QuixoticLass: exaaaaactly 🙂
QuixoticLass: I wonder if this light therapy is helping him?
Emma: lol who knows
guest42: he does seem cheerier after a stint in the sun
guest42: he may die of skin cancer though
QuixoticLass: that’s a gross way to die
QuixoticLass: not as gross as say, falling into a vat of snot and drowning, but fairly disgusting.
guest42: not too much sunlight in the hovel
Emma: Whoa lmao
Emma: What a thought Lass
guest42: snot true!
Emma: No the most awful way to die?
Emma: Buried alive
QuixoticLass: that’s pretty bad
guest42: Do you think Luke will die young?
Emma: The conversations we have in this chat room are so inspiring
guest42: Or live to a ripe old age with Emma at his side
QuixoticLass: those are the two choices?
guest42: in his / her rocking chairs
guest42: they inspire me
guest42: to get a life!
Emma: Rocking chairs
Emma: Its 2008 now 42
guest42: Luke can’t afford leather recliners
guest42: as long as he rocks your world
QuixoticLass: you are such an optimist!
QuixoticLass: one of the chairs in the hovel is leather-like
Emma: I dont get along with realists very well
Emma: Im too much of a dreamer
guest42: a vegetarian thru and thru
guest42: should I leave?
QuixoticLass: he has decorated in the style of "early garage sale"
Emma: Of course not
BorisJohnson: Travel tip for Emma: Any hotel in LA that is not likely to give you bedbugs is going to cost at least $200/night
BorisJohnson: Expect it, with taxes, to cost at least 100 Euros / night of sanity
BorisJohnson: This is a very verdant scene. Complete with fly
BorisJohnson: Emma, instead of LA, visit London!
BorisJohnson: It’s happening, and it freaks me out!
Emma: hmmm no
BorisJohnson: London is where it’s at.
BorisJohnson: Instead of "bloggers", we’ve got "blokes"
BorisJohnson: blokes = pokes.; bloggers = buggers or buggurs – You pick ’em.
BorisJohnson: A question for the ladies here: do you have sexual thoughts as you gaze upon this scene?
guest42: Do you Boris?
BorisJohnson: I have no sexual thoughts, really
BorisJohnson: They are a distant memory
BorisJohnson: More like a memory of a memory
guest42: but you are thinking about the ladies having these thoughts
BorisJohnson: Yes, but that is a clinical sort of question
guest42: ask your johnson
guest42: Luke come back….
guest42: we’re floundering here
guest14: Luke, finish your chores!
YourMoralLeader: i need sleep
guest14: There will be time enough for sleep in the grave
guest14: Rather than sleep, why not do a mitzvah?
guest2: a youngster like you
guest2: needs his booty sleep
guest2: sleeping is a mitzvah
guest2: mitzvah night
guest2: Give me a brocha please
guest2: Help me break my addiction to the room
guest2: It is taking me away frim doing mitzvot
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, I need your fundraising guidance to help me bring this vulnerable young shiksa to LA for enlightenment and stuff
guest2: lotsa "stuff"
guest2: have her sell a horse
YourMoralLeader: she did already
YourMoralLeader: it was half dead
guest64: Nice chair
YourMoralLeader: maybe I could my honor on Ebay?
guest2: sell your backyard tanning salon
zerox: how is earth today
YourMoralLeader: and there’s nothing i can do
guest2: fill me up buttercup
guest2: don’t let me down
guest66: i’d rather have a reeses penut butter cup
zerox: no emma
guest2: she needs her booty sleep
guest66: emma has left ground control
zerox: ah sleep
guest66: mounds or almond joy ??
guest2: some times you feel like a nut…
guest2: sometimes you don’t
guest66: ginger or maryann??
guest66: large mounds with nuts ???
guest2: lot of joy
guest2: Luke, come out come out wherever you are
guest2: We’ll count to 10
guest2: thats about how long you should last
guest66: his green tea makes him last alot longer
guest2: women can shave their legs and pits to be attractive to their husbands
guest14: Of course, and they had better
guest14: Women who fail to make themselves appealing are committing a sin
guest2: men can remain the pigs they are
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: luke — is she going to convert?
YourMoralLeader: Yes rabbi
YourMoralLeader: I’ll need your help there too
YourMoralLeader: I need you more than anyone
guest66: convert my ass
guest2: big job
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i’ll convert her alright
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: once you go feller, you never go back
guest14: It saddens me that Luke was never able to find himself a proper Jewish bride
guest66: if she was chinese she would be converted rice
guest14: But I suppose that Jewish women are too picky these days
guest2: cuz his nose hair is unappealing
guest66: mitzvah gedolah leheyot betulah tamid (breslov)
YourMoralLeader: I captured her during an online war, rabbi, so first I’ll have to shave her head and let her mourn for her family for a month
guest66: i will sit shivah
"Luke Ford reports all of the 'juicy' quotes, and has been doing it for years." (Marc B. Shapiro)
"This guy knows all the gossip, the ins and outs, the lashon hara of the Orthodox world. He’s an [expert] in... all the inner workings of the Orthodox world." (Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff)
"This generation's Hillel." (Nathan Cofnas)
"You are like the Howard Stern of the Alt Right." (Frame Game Radio)