Buying Men Plants

From my live chat:

guest63:  Now men are comparing women to dogs that we buy you balloons so "mark our territory"?  If we wanted to mark our territory, we would star decorating your apartments, or buy a plant so you would to start taking care of it and we would have to show up again unnounced just to "make sure" you’re properly taking care of it.  *wink*
guest63:  You’ve done it too right Emma?
Emma:  I can’t say I have…
Emma:  Ive never bought a guy a plant.
guest63:  I have.  They last longer than most other gifts.  And it gives them smething to do everyday other than just think of themselves.
Emma:  What kind of plant was that?
guest63:  I’m not a plant person but it was mostly leavy with blue flowers thrown in.  I thought pink or red would be "too much marking my territory".
guest63:  Did any of the balloons survive the night?
Emma:  He killed 2 today
57: The solution to beard dandruff.
SexyPervert:  Strange how someone with a chatroom doesn’t mind people talking behind his back.
Emma:  It’s a good quality to have.
SexyPervert:  Given up on life or just doesn’t care anymore?
Emma:  Why worry about what people think?€
SexyPervert:  I don’t.  But the man kills balloons.  So he has "issues".
Emma:  They would have died anyway…. he put them out of their missery
SexyPervert:  Looky!  Is Luke excited?
Emma:  They get old and wrinkly really quick… they died young this time.
SexyPervert:  Those shiny balloons last longer.
Emma:  Yeah I had one for my 18th.. lasted ages.
SexyPervert:  Doesn’t Luke worry about tan lines?
SexyPervert:  Where’s the sunscreen and moisterizers?
SexyPervert:  He’s only wearing shorts now.  Nasty tan lines he can get out there.
SexyPervert:  He could pass out and fall asleep and wake up with nasty tan lines.
SexyPervert:  When the chatrrom slogal says —  And please remember you are in the presence of God  — does he mean he is God or that God is all around all the time?
SexyPervert:  So Luke does five minutes each side everyday? 
SexyPervert:  Does it make sense that I am in his chat room but would feel nervous asking him anything one on one?
Emma:  Why nervous?
SexyPervert:  Well…..what I first heard about him is he was crazy and this porn rebel and pissed off so many people.  I thought he also messed around with the porn girls too.  Now I read he’s really religious and never watched porn and never lived that lifestyle.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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