SmiterOfShvartza: Ahhh, just the two of us.
SmiterOfShvartza: I wish you were trustworthy
SmiterOfShvartza: if you were, I’d compliment you on the attractiveness of Emma
SmiterOfShvartza: but I am sure you got that photo from a phonesex ad
SmiterOfShvartza: the interview about chico wang had to be the most awkwardly worded thing ever. The one written by the gilford reposrter
SmiterOfShvartza: I guess she didn;t have Gram Ponantes number
SmiterOfShvartza: all right I gotta go. I just dropped in to try to get Emmas number
guest59: RIP Chico Wang – unless he really did murder his wife
guest8: beard all itchy?
guest59: Is it possible for your beard to grow out until it is longer than your petzel?
guest8: do you have a beard, 59?
guest59: I shaved it off when I gave up women
guest6: what is "wrap tefillin"????
guest59: Well, it is a seldom discussed Jewish practice that involves men and leather goods.
guest6: i am serious and he isn’t answering any of my questions
guest59: Not as shameful as having a beauty pageant for camels, as the arabs have
guest59: I will answer all of your questions
guest8: i like that beauty pagent idea.
guest6: and who are you 58? lol
guest8: i dont know how welcome.
guest59: What is less moral, spending millions on a camel in a camel beauty pageant, or oggling women in porn?
guest59: We got rid of Eliot Spitzer for rending a woman for a few thousand, but over there, a camel can go for $2.7 million if she’s pretty enough
guest59: Not sure if this was a one hump or two gal
guest59: I hope he got both humps
guest59: renting a woman, not rending
guest6: so is this all you do all day?
YourMoralLeader: yes, is that wrong?
guest6: no i was just asking
guest59: Blogging is hard work which, as the NY Times has reported, can kill just as mining coal can kill
guest59: But at least blogging adds no greenhouse gases
YourMoralLeader: I only make it look easy
guest59: Bloggers are among the least appreciated people in society.
guest59: Even prostitutes get their day in the sun
guest59: We live in an age where a pretty camel fetches 2.7 million, but a blogger goes without health insurance
guest59: The madness of the era
guest59: Luke needs sponsorship.
guest6: how old are you moral?
guest59: Da Vinci had it.
YourMoralLeader: how about some gaming companies?
QuixoticLass: I’m WAY too gullible.
QuixoticLass: and now that you know that, you have a moral responsibility to not fool me.
QuixoticLass: YML honestly, sometimes I don’t know whether I’d rather smack you upside the head or give you a hug.
QuixoticLass: when the rabbi was talking about gossip was he looking directly at you the whole time, or was he able to speak to the whole room?
YourMoralLeader: whole room
YourMoralLeader: the irish are really well educated right?
YourMoralLeader: they saved civilization and all
RussianDragon: only the women i fear
RussianDragon: the men are to drunk to remember anything
QuixoticLass: that peanut butter would go well with my low fat chocolatey cat cookies for people
RevDesmondFord: sinkers or floaters today, boy?
YourMoralLeader: Hi dad
YourMoralLeader: sinkers I am afraid.
YourMoralLeader: Is that a sin?
RevDesmondFord: You are fair-dinkum sinker, son…and no one should suffer a whelp like you. I knew from the start when you were suckling on sugar-teats and peppermint sticks that you were no good. What do you do with a sinker? Here in Oz, we pull the handle and flush.
QuixoticLass: YML are you going to sell your chametz?
YourMoralLeader: I won’t have any chametz. Tossing it all or giving it to Rev. Des.
QuixoticLass: you should sell it just in case…to cover the crumbs and stuff you miss.
QuixoticLass: stuff in your books…
YourMoralLeader: all this legalism, complicated religion.
QuixoticLass: you don’t like the ritual and all the little rules?
YourMoralLeader: i get sick of it
QuixoticLass: you wear tzit tzit
YourMoralLeader: I don’t believe in selling off your chametz to a non-jew unless you’re a major store-owner or something
YourMoralLeader: I get rid of my spiritual chametz by studying Torah
put that bag on your head luke
RussianDragon: love bites
RussianDragon: it nibbles too
QuixoticLass: and sometimes it spanks
cuntpunt: ok russian, I’ll send the plane ticket, you bring the chocolate…
cuntpunt: your pic is distracting, wrap the tefillin again Luke
RussianDragon: let’s all pray
RussianDragon: for salvation
QuixoticLass: will a shidduch be made in this chat room?
cuntpunt: I pray for a white russian to drink up and pass out on
cuntpunt: or under..either one
QuixoticLass: YML don’t move like that, it’s too suggestive
RussianDragon: you don’t wanna wear your teffilin after that
cuntpunt: hes gonna get down
cuntpunt: oh yeah, sweat
Emma: Or fall down
cuntpunt: work it Luke, work it goood
RussianDragon: america’s funniest jew videos
cuntpunt: someone get that man a glass
RussianDragon: jumping jacks plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Emma: Laura wants you to do an excersise
YourMoralLeader: The first time Emma came in here, I was working out
YourMoralLeader: It’s how I captured her heart!
Emma: Laura: remeber when you just did your squats up against the wall, see how long you can hold your postion whilst squatting.
RussianDragon: he has done a lot of squatting lately
RussianDragon: wonder why
Emma: Laura: best exersise ever.
Lilithena: This is the second time I’ve seen this
Lilithena: I would not accept a lift from this man.
Lilithena: Better to walk along the road in the rain
QuixoticLass: and you haven’t even seen his car!
RussianDragon: it’s called the bangbus
QuixoticLass: it’s billy blanks everyone!
Lilithena: These images disturb me.
Lilithena: I am going to have dreams about them
Lilithena: I’ve seen animals do this in jungle parks
QuixoticLass: I’m only a stripper for a audience of one.
YourMoralLeader: and he has to be a rabbi
QuixoticLass: I don’t strip for rabbis anymore
Lilithena: Were they poor tippers?
ElazarMuskin: Luke I came by Saturday at 7:45 but you didn’t come out
YourMoralLeader: I’m sorry, I was napping.
ElazarMuskin: I assumed you’d had misgivings
ElazarMuskin: And so today…we’re making a mockery of the tefillin?
Lilithena: A gay man who is forced to grow his own beard because he does not know any women who will occupy that role for him
YourMoralLeader: No mockery rabbi.
YourMoralLeader: Just explaining the holiness of them.
Lilithena: Rabbi, do you folks keep tabs on Luke?
cuntpunt: For the past twenty-one years, Rabbi Elazar Muskin has served as the Rabbi of the Young Israel of Century City in Los Angeles, California.
Lilithena: Maybe that’s why the cam exists, to enable you to check in on Luke 24/7
ElazarMuskin: We hear things
Lilithena: gossip is not good
cuntpunt: gossip is sinful
QuixoticLass: gossip gets your gullible friends in trouble
cuntpunt: gossip is the root of evil
YourMoralLeader: Everything I do, everyone I do, it’s a sin.
QuixoticLass: oh ho
RussianDragon: ok i’m back
ElazarMuskin: Gossip only becomes a sin when one believes it
YourMoralLeader: Got any scoop, rabbi?
QuixoticLass: great put the burden on the gullible friend
cuntpunt: we wrapped tefillin today rabbi
ElazarMuskin: No scoop today
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, which shul in the neighborhood is the most anal in its megillah reading? YICC?
RussianDragon: hi rabbi
ElazarMuskin: So I read, c****punt
ElazarMuskin: Anal? What is this term?
YourMoralLeader: Do you think you can get Avrohom Union in here?
cuntpunt: of the bottom end?
Lilithena: Rabbi, why won’t Jewish men commit to Jewish women in a timely manner?
ElazarMuskin: how does this term apply to reading of the megillah?
RussianDragon: it’s a sin
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, why do so many wives in your shul not cover their hair during the week and wear pants?
QuixoticLass: Jewish men don’t like Jewish women because we are overeducated and demanding.
QuixoticLass: also many Jewish women mistakenly think that it’s ok to wait until after they are 30 to start looking for a husband
ElazarMuskin: Luke- why do you shake hands upon meeting women?
ElazarMuskin: you know this is sinful
QuixoticLass: do you shake women’s hands?
RussianDragon: he doesnt know the difference
QuixoticLass: you never shook mine.
RussianDragon: some look like men
YourMoralLeader: I try not to, rabbi.
QuixoticLass: we pass the keys back and forth as though you are shomer negiah
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, what do you think of the RCC?
YourMoralLeader: And who do you think will succeed Rabbi Weil at BJ?
ElazarMuskin: I think more of your new plan to take matters into your own hands
Lilithena: Too much unholy gossip!
ElazarMuskin: as if our people havent suffered enough
YourMoralLeader: Thank you rabbi.
YourMoralLeader: Would you serve on my kangaroo court?
ElazarMuskin: yes, but on a higher seat than the kangaroos
Lilithena: Let’s talk about my new "Sweet Sixteen" type show about bar and bat mitzvah parties
YourMoralSchvartze: Q: what do Jewish women make for lunch? Anyone…?
RussianDragon: suite sixteen
YourMoralLeader: any celebs come into your shul lately, rabbi?
RussianDragon: i’ve been there
YourMoralSchvartze: A: Reservations.
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi Muskin, I’d like you to marry Emma and I.
ElazarMuskin: Dennis Hopper attended recently
Lilithena: What’s the best shul for getting ahead?
YourMoralLeader: Can we do this in chat?
ElazarMuskin: hmmm, let me consult torah
ElazarMuskin: um- nope
RussianDragon: good rabbi
Lilithena: I can do conversions online, Emma. Want one?
YourMoralSchvartze: What’s the difference between karate and judo…Karate is a form of self-defense and judo is what bagels are made of.
YourMoralLeader: What was it like learning from The Rav, rabbi?
ElazarMuskin: hahaha judo
Lilithena: Kraft is starting to market a bagel that comes prefilled with "cream cheese" It looks just like a twinkie
ElazarMuskin: Watch out Luke you are stepping on the funny man’s toes
YourMoralLeader: Rabbi, why did you banish the kiddush club?
ElazarMuskin: Rave reviews for the Rav
YourMoralSchvartze: What do you say when you tickle a Jewish woman? Gucci, Gucci, goo.
Lilithena: For $50 I will convert you to or from any faith
Emma: No thanks