In my capacity as a moral leader, I have to counsel a lot of hurt and confused men and women dealing with the hard knocks that life delivers.
Sometimes their pain comes from their rabbi being accused of molestation.
"I don’t understand it," they will say. "I never saw the slightest evidence for these charges. Do you think people might be making things up?"
With time and the right questions, I finally bring them to face their fear — that their former rabbi and teacher never chose them for molestation because they weren’t sexy enough.
"Why? Was I not pretty enough? Did he not find me attractive?"
It is important at these moments to not blame yourself.
I’m sitting in my hovel surrounded by freakin’ balloons. Everywhere I go — which isn’t far in here — I’m tripping over and colliding with balloons.
They’re big and bright and blue and they’re wishing me a happy birthday.
They’re tired up to my meager furniture and to water bottles and to virtually everything but my Torah books.
Did Rabbi Akiva get balloons for his birthday?
Why do I get balloons for my birthday? Because the woman who gave me balloons wants balloons on her birthday.
I’ll tell you what she’ll bloody well get — if she gets anything — and that’s a gift certificate to Barnes & Nobles.
That’s my standard gift (I don’t give many gifts, can’t be bothered).
I’ll tell you a dirty little secret about my gift giving — the only persons who should expect gifts from me are my wives and girlfriends. That’s it. Nobody else should expect even a card, not even a chaste kiss good night.
I’m too busy writing commentaries on the Torah to go shopping. Did the Vilna Gaon give birthday cards? I think not. I bet his wife didn’t even get balloons.
I’ve only once lived with a woman for longer than a few weeks. This was in 1993 and it lasted about three months. And we kept giving each other what we wanted. I gave her long longing notes tucked under her pillow about how much she meant to me. She bought me clothes. I didn’t give a flying leap about clothes and she couldn’t care less about my lovey dovey notes.
In 1987, my sister came over for Christmas. I gave her as a present a book I wanted to read — Days of Rage by Todd Gitlin. She saw right through my gift and didn’t even bother to take it back to Australia with her.
For the past two months, I’ve had a part-time job — picking up kids from school and driving them home.
This time in the car with a load of terrorists (if I don’t give them everything they want, they will make my life hell and put me at risk of a massive ticket for piloting a car with kids out of their seatbelts) has renewed my commitment to moral education.
I am available to lecture to yeshivas on this important topic.
My travails as a babysitter remind me of the need to keep Jews strapped in their halachic seat-belts so they don’t run around our spinning globe infecting the dumb goyim with transgressive notions of socialism and sodomy.
It takes a lot to make good people.
Dennis Prager has lectured on this topic much more eloquently than I can, but here are some of the necessary ingredients for making a good community (good individuals may lack these prerequisites but no good community can):
* Belief in a transcendent moral code
* A set of daily practices to hone one’s commitment to the transcendent code
* A system for transmitting that code to each generation
* A community to keep an eye on you
* Common sense
Out of all the fancy notions for making good people, there’s one that most powerfully affects me — other people.
If I am close to someone, if I love someone, I don’t want to let them down. I don’t want to look in their eyes and see disappointment.
Between 1992-1995, almost all I could talk about was ethical monotheism. Then in January 1996, I directed a porn movie and decided to write a book on the history of sex in film.
I spent most of the next 12 years writing about the porn industry.
How on earth did I go from yakking about God all the time to telling five guys to sodomize Kimberly Kummings while I held the camera?
Well, for one, I’m a weirdo. It’s frighteningly easy for me to go from a mitzvah (divine command) to an averrah (sin) to a mitzva. Two, I really like sex. I like doing it, I like writing about it, and I like directing it.
(I only directed one porn movie. Once a philosopher, twice a pervert.)
But point three is the most important — I lacked tight bonds. I had a lot of acquaintances in Los Angeles, even a few friends, but I wasn’t bonded to a particular group who held me accountable for my behavior.
Yeah, Dennis Prager was my hero. I listened to him every day on the radio. I heard him preach at Stephen S. Wise temple. I introduced dozens of people to him, some of whom became Orthodox. One friend of mine from Grass Valley, Michal, got a letter from Prager in 1993 saying, "Anyone who is a friend of Luke’s is a friend of mine." But I wasn’t bonded to Prager or to anyone else. I was a free spirit. I went to shul, I screwed around, I went back to shul, I studed some Torah, I studied some porn. Rinse, repeat.
It was a pretty good life but it wasn’t a holy life and it wasn’t the stuff of which holy communities are made out of.
I did get to bang a lot of chicks, however, and while that wasn’t exactly a sanctification of the name of G-d (even though I met at least half of them in shul), it was a lot of fun.
In the summer of 2000, I went to Israel. When I came back, I returned to davening every morning at Young Israel of Century City and going to the daily Talmud class (Daf Yomi). This began to profoundly affect me. I was earning my living writing about the porn industry but I could no longer do it with as much equanimity as I had at Ohr HaTorah. I had to look Rabbi Elazar Muskin in the eye every morning and it was killing me (would’ve killed him too, only he didn’t know about LukeFord.com, he only knew me as Levi Avraham).
I was in the process of cleaning up my life when an ex-pornographer turned me in to Rabbi Avrohom Union (June 2001) who called Rabbi Muskin and I was out the door.
Then I wandered around for a while. I went to various minyans. None of them particularly affected me because I wasn’t close with anyone in them. If I just show up to a shul where I have no meaningful connections, then, frankly, I feel like I can do anything I want once I walk outside of the shul. Who am I going to let down? Myself? Big deal.
But when I pray with friends, when I study Torah with friends, then I don’t want to let ’em down. So I’ve cut way back on my screwing around. Only on Tuesdays.
Here is my assessment of the Jewish Journal of Los Angeles. Over time I have noticed that most local Orthodox Rebbeim refer to it as the "unJewish Journal". More than one local Rabbi has given me permission to read this drek while on the toilet. So my Shabbos bathroom trips include getting numerous laughs and ultimately feeling very disgusted with this twisted excuse of Jewish journalism. The nickname "unJewish Journal" is very appropriate since most of the ideas or opinions expressed by the publication are contrary to the Torah and sound like Goyishe ideas. They further show their ignorance of Judaism and deep self-hating attitudes. The articles are generally openly anti-religious aka "anti-Orthodox" in nature. Most articles that mention the frum community are smear campaigns against various groups or mock frumkite and are an outright chillul Hashem. There is never anything published about true Torah values. Soon I’ll include a few of my responses to various articles published in that garbage.
Many of these same rabbis are only too happy to get their name in the Jewish Journal at any opportunity. Also, if they say the Journal is so bad, I don’t see them creating anything better. I have my issues with the Journal, but I spend my time trying to make something better. At times, I succeed.
I view the Jewish Journal as a gentle paper. It is gentle with the Orthodox and the non-Orthodox. That many of the Orthodox accuse the Jewish Journal of being anti-Orthodox only shows how insular and unaware these Orthodox are. They equate the slightest criticism with being anti-Orthodox. The Jewish Journal has always had Orthodox members of its staff and is basically fair to all segments of LA’s Jewish community. I’d like to see your examples of anti-Orthodox bias.
One common complaint by chareidi rabbis against the Jewish Journal and other publications is over the term "ultra-Orthodox." Do these papers ever use the phrase "ultra-Reform" or "ultra-secular" or "ultra-gay"?
Jane emails: "Those rabbis should understand that a gay person doesn’t have degrees of being gay, same with being secular or anything else – either you’re secular/gay/reform or you’re not. In contrast, within Orthodoxy – there are many different levels – modern, etc. so the word ultra defines someone who is very orthodox/religious. I don’t understand why they would complain about a word that describes the level of orthodoxy a person is. As an orthodox myself, I would take it as a compliment if someone described me as ultra-orthodox but I don’t think I qualify for that level. In fact one would think they’d be offended had they been lumped together with all orthodoxy, those who are much less observant than the word ultra implies one to be! But if that’s what they want – no distinction to separate them with the less observant – , then maybe they should speak up and they can be labeled together with the moderate orthodox which for example include some women who might wear pants in their home or in public – things the ultra would not do."
Officers from Israel Police Central Region Fraud Unit and Israel Tax Authority investigators have arrested the director of Chabad Youth Organization in Israel, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Ahronov, the nonprofit organization’s (NPO) accountant, and one of its authorized signatories, on suspicion of embezzlement amounting to tens of millions shekels and tax fraud running into hundreds of millions of shekels. The four men are suspected of theft, fraudulent receiving, and money laundering, in which leading businessmen are also thought to be involved.
Ahronov was arrested this morning on return from a fund raising campaign abroad, as detectives raided the NPO’s offices in Kfar Chabad. At web posting, the four men were due to appear at the Ramla Magistrates Court for a remand hearing.
Police began an undercover inquiry into Chabad Youth Organization following a complaint by the Registrar of Nonprofit Organizations about irregularities in the NPO’s management. The inquiry revealed that funds intended as donations were transferred to private accounts held by the director and others. It was also discovered that receipts issued for donations were not entered on the NPO’s books.
Adv. Gideon Fisher, the lawyer representing Ahronov and Lubavitch-Chabad, said the investigators were trying to blame the NPO’s officers for fraud that they themselves had uncovered. "The inquiry began following a lawsuit the NPO filed against its former treasurer, in which it claimed he embezzled more than NIS 30 million. In his defense, the treasurer sought to divert attention from his own actions by making absurd claims in an attempt to smear the NPO’s director and Chabad leaders."
Lubavitch Youth (Tzach) in Israel is embroiled in a lawsuit over more than $3 million in missing funds. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Aranow, the head of Tzach, accuses his former CFO Yosef Segal of stealing the money. Segal accuses Aronow of taking al that money – and much more, of croynism and illegal payments to friends and family, and of stealing money specifically earmarked for Children of Chernobyl. Tzach gets about $20 million annually from the Israeli government alone.
Aronow refused to go to police, he claims, because of mesira, the prohibition against informing. This could be true. But the government refused to clear Tzach’s nonprofit status until the police were called and the thefts investigated. Aronow refused to make that call so the government did it for him. Knowing how readily Aronow has resorted to secular couts and authorities in the past, I think Aronow and his henchmen are dirty, and have done everything Segal claims – and more. Which is the real reason Aronow would not call the police. Segal himself may have stolen money – or he may be innocent. Time will tell.
This brings to light once more the scandal which hit all Israel and US newspapers several months ago, when the Head of Lubavitch Youth organization in Israel, Mr. Aronov was arrested and indicted by the Israeli government on charges of Money Laundering. Israeli top officials then said that there was likely a US connection and many suspect that that connection is Mr. Yehuda Krinsky of the Luvavitch arm in the USA, in N.Y.
While Mr. Krinsky has many millions to pay lawyers millions of dollars yearly in his failed attempt to squash his messianic apposition to his totalitarian dictatorship of Lubavitch, people speculate that he hesitates to use his millions to Bail Out the Lubavitch publication house from it’s 2 million dollars bankruptcy failure because Mr. Krinsky would rather that the publication house be forced to close down so that his connection with Aronov in Israel will not come to light.
I can’t wait to see Ang Lee’s new movie, "Se Jie" or "Lust, Caution," an erotic spy thriller set in Japanese-occupied Shanghai. More to the point, I can’t wait to see more of his new actress Wei Tang.
"Lust, Caution" will be released in the U.S. on September 28, and it is much anticipated. The film just yesterday won the Golden Lion award (top prize) at the Venice Film Festival. Wei Tang herself is described in today’s New York Times (in "Breaking Through," an article about new actors), as "the sort of deeply expressive actress who can look ordinary one moment and utterly captivating the next." Much of the movie deals with her transformation from innocent to seductress and spy, and there are some very hot sex scenes (including "explicit sodomy," according to some sources). In fact, the movie has an NC-17 rating. CNN says that "sources who have seen the film said it contains at least three scenes — one a long montage — featuring multiple acts of aggressive sexual activity in different positions. There’s no full-frontal male nudity (the source of some NC-17 rulings when shown in sex scenes), but male-on-female oral sex, non-S&M restraints and several nontraditional sexual positions are depicted, conveying the aggression and emotional conflict between the main characters. When asked if anyone was shown, say, upside down, one viewer said, "It depends on where you’re standing. They’re very flexible."
Despite all the buzz, it is hard to find biographical information about Wei Tang. An article from china.org.cn reports that "she was born in 1979, in Zhejiang Province, and graduated from the directing department of the Central Academy of Drama. For her performance in the TV movie, Policewoman Yanzi, she won CCTV Movie Channel’s Lily Award for best female role."
Early in the movie, Wong Chia Chi (Tang Wei) gets asked to act in a patriotic play, in a time when China was threatened by the Japanese Invasion during the late 30s/early 40s. Little does she know that she’s got to carry on acting the rest of her life, together with her group of idealistic young dramatists, as stage feelings stirred up real emotions that calls for the sacrificial of self for the greater good, for the country. What they lack in experience, they make up with their youthful passion and exuberance. And their rawness shows in the way they clumsily set up their traps for the coming of the prey, and fumbling even with their first blood.
Welcome to Lee Ang’s world of espionage. It’s not glam, and gets draped in many real world sense and sensibilities. We enter a world where Trust and Loyalty are difficult to come by, and with shadows lurking in every corner, waiting to pounce at the slightest of mistakes. But the darkness is beautifully captured, and like its endless rounds of mahjong, you’re waiting for that perfect tile to come your way, for the opportune to present itself, for the East Wind to come about. That’s how this movie’s espionage theme is played out, with plenty of waiting. Instant results and instant gratification do not come easy, and even the finale I found to be less than satisfying, though it provided subtle avenues to keep your imagination running as to how the turn of events have greatly affected the usually cautious Mr Yee (Tony Leung).
Like the movie, Leung’s Mr Yee remains an enigma we are trying to have a crack at, trying to, like the rest, understand his secret life. He sneaks around from fort to fort, always with protection, and has this solid wall build around his personal life, that even his wife (Joan Chen) finds hard to break, and letting it be anyway, enjoying luxurious life as a tai-tai. All we know about Yee, is that he’s a Chinese traitor in the employment of the Japanese, while enjoying immense power under the protection of his master, readily bolts like a running dog that he is in the first signs of trouble.
Enter Tang Wei’s Chia Chi, in a strategy hundreds of years old, and that is to use the lure of the beauty to provide the downfall of powerful generals. As a fresh faced ingénue, she enters the dangerous cat and mouse game at great personal sacrifice, probing cautiously (that’s the word again) into the life of Mr Yee, and casting those come hither eyes as bait to lure her prey, relying on others to provide the finishing blow and save her from his evil roaming clutches. In order to enter his circle of trust, she has to play to the sadistic sexual fantasies (you see, I don’t think he gets any from Mrs Yee anyway) of a repressed man using her as an avenue to release those pent up rage and frustrations from work, where his job as we know is to interrogate fellow countrymen. It’s not a glam job, especially when you’re casting your lot with the underdogs.
Lust, Caution is a tale of two lonely people, forced by circumstances to do what they have to. One, to fulfill her ideology and get rid of possibly one of the most dangerous man to the Chinese, while the other, looking for honest companionship. It’s falling for and sleeping with the enemy both ways, and in a time where trust is hard pressed, this makes everything more complex, especially when it comes to irrational emotions that overrule logic and guard. It’s layered with plenty of betrayals whichever way you look at it, and the narrative kept pace by unfolding each
layer intricately. Which makes it ultimately a very sad love that couldn’t be story, the perennial fib to reality.
Tony being Tony, I can’t help but think that with his hair slicked back, and his stoic demeanor in well pressed suits, look the more vengeful version of his Mr Chow from In the Mood for Love, though this time round he really gets it on with another married woman Mrs Mak, Chia Chi’s alter-ego. He might be sleepwalking through his role here, as he speaks very little and does even less, but comes alive in his scenes toward the end. LeeHom is rather wooden though as the de-factor youth leader, and his romantic moments with Tang Wei just falls flat given that it’s not fully developed here, if not for the focus of love between Mr Yee and Mrs Mak.
Like how Lee Ang shot Zhang Ziyi to prominence with her role in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as a headstrong young woman who comes of age, Tang Wei snags a role as such and it wouldn’t be much of a surprise should she gain acclaim and recognition for her role here. She switches between the greenhorn student and one who’s living a lie quite easily, and she exhibits linguistic skills (English, Cantonese, Mandarin and even Shanghainese) and even talent for song. Watch those eyes of hers, and her rant during breaking point, excellent stuff.
Lust, Caution is an espionage story that works, and being set in a tumultuous era helped loads in the eagerness and sense of urgency required, and how patience in getting everything set up for that one shot one kill opportunity makes it a constant tussle, both for the characters, and how events get played out.
Stop by my chat room and wish me a happy birthday!
LeahKleim: I got pissed at x
LeahKleim: broke a buncha s**t
LeahKleim: busted windows
LeahKleim: smashed up his car and truck
LeahKleim: gashed my arm open on broken glass
russiandragon: that’s kind of expensive hobby flipping
LeahKleim: its a very expensive habbit
LeahKleim: and i do it so f**king often
LeahKleim: i think i need anger management
LeahKleim: but i dont wanna manage it
russiandragon: you need some other passtime to burn your rage
LeahKleim: like rough sex
russiandragon: for example
russiandragon: you would feel better
russiandragon: or running like i do
LeahKleim: i did that after i flipped
russiandragon: i run about 15 km’s a week
LeahKleim: f**k running, i smoke two pax a day and have asthma
LeahKleim: and im scared of the gym bandits
YourMoralLeader: how do you feel about growing old leah?
LeahKleim: old is far away for me
LeahKleim: I dont think about it
LeahKleim: I guess when it happens Ill have nothing
LeahKleim: all I got is a hot body, so when that goes Im f**ked
LeahKleim: I know I can write, my dry humor spills all over the paper, I cant spell though. but really, where the f**k is writing gonna get me ?
LeahKleim: by the time Im there making 40 bux a day, my tits will be on my knees and my ass will be flat and life will suck
russiandragon: i’m sure your breasts will stay perky for a long time to come
LeahKleim: they wont look good with a saggy ass though
russiandragon: you can work on a saggy ass
LeahKleim: damn it im big enough to admit that im just tits and ass, dont byrst that bubble
I got this birthday card:
I wish you success, critical acclaim, stalwart admirers and publishing opportunities in all of your literary endeavors.
May you feel the love of your Jewish community and become more learned in all things, but especially in Tikun Olam, Torah and Talmud. May more people see the wonderful things I see in you and embrace you for your individuality and courage.
May you become an expert at SEO, e-marketing, new niche industries, and may you make the cold hard cash reflective of the amount of work you put in. I am so proud of you on a daily basis; I see the hard work and focus in all that you do.
I hope that this year will also see you in better health and free from elbow pain and stoopy posture. I pray that this year will bring more joy and less depression and a greater sense of emotional equilibrium.
I wish you a year of intellectual fulfillment, good books, worthwhile movies, smart company, a place with elite company.
A huge chunk of the book world will be here this week for BookExpo America, which opens Thursday at the Convention Center and runs through the weekend. BEA, last here in 2003, is so big that the autographing schedule runs to 38 PDF pages and more than a thousand media and bloggers register to attend. Hotels are jammed, and parties are scheduled all over town for next weekend. Thomas L. Friedman is the convention’s keynote speaker on Friday. We’ll post book notes all week, starting with these….
Susan Straight writes about her Edgar Award in the LATBR…Sunday’s LAT review of a book on Dorothea Lange gets a gentle chide from critic-at-large David Kipen, in a widely circulated email, for saying that the photographer’s reputation was "ratified" by a 1966 show in New York: "California artists don’t need Manhattan ratification. New York stinks with the carcases of all the California artists and writers who’ve gone east looking for the pat on the head that never comes, or never lasts, or conceals a raw egg."…Publishers Weekly warns about the bad L.A. taxi situation…Eight local publishers, including my friends at Angel City Press, are going in together on a Friday party at Colori Kitchen…Los Angeles Magazine and Black Clock are hosting together at Bergamot Station, also Friday night…Michael Connelly’s new Zagat-style guide of locations in his books will be unveiled Saturday at Traxx…Angel City’s "Brown Acres: An Intimate History of the Los Angeles Sewer System" by Anna Sklar was called "engaging cultural history" in the LATBR….Joe Queenan wrote about the Scandinavian mystery boom in Sunday Opinion.
ChaimAmalek: Now, don’t bother seeing that new Indiana Jones movie. It blows
ChaimAmalek: Nearly put me to sleep.
palestine4ever: does it
palestine4ever: Is it on a Star Trek IV level of suck?
ChaimAmalek: Sad reminder that old men (like me) have no new ideas.
palestine4ever: The one with the whales?
palestine4ever: I thought that was evident in the Star Wars prequels
palestine4ever: Which seemed to interrupt CGI action sequences with clips from C-SPAN
ChaimAmalek: Well, they basically take the old movies, everything that Spielberg and Lucas did in the seventies and eighties, add to that a few scenes stolen straight out of "National Treasure", add an old dude as the lead and that’s that
ChaimAmalek: No tension, no nothing
Last June, the ascendant Serbian tennis player Ana Ivanovic hit a serve 124.9 miles per hour, one of the most powerful blasts ever by a woman. And this was after injuries and maturity had convinced her that, when it comes to serving, it’s about more than how hard you hit the ball. The 20-year-old Ivanovic has shot up to No. 2 in the world rankings in part because she has transformed her serve into a multifaceted stroke that overwhelms opponents with its unpredictable speed and spin. Here, a closer look at one of the most dangerous shots on the women’s tour.
Many enjoy watching really good tennis, I enjoy watching really good looking people play tennis.
Ana Ivanovic. YES. Daniela Hantuchova. Yes. Maria Sharapova. Yes. Jelena Jankovic. Sure, why not.
Ivanovic rolled over Williams last night (or whenever it was) 7-6, 6-4 making her the third Serb to play in the Aussie Open semis. Hantuchova is her next opponent, while Sharapova and Jankovic duel on the other side. Naturally, this happens in the least watchable tennis major.
So, to recap. Here’s what you’ve got for tennis viewing over the next few days.
I’d like to thank Darren Rovell over at CNBC’s SportsBiz for making us aware of the phenomenal 19-year old Serbian tennis player, Ana Ivanovic. She happens to be a pretty decent tennis player, too. Starting with this post, Rovell calls Ivanovic the next Maria Sharapova, and not just because of her looks- Ivanovic dominated Sharapova at the French Open semis earlier this year.
In his next Ivanovic post, Rovell calls Ivanovic the most beautiful female athlete in the world. and gives us a great slide show of Ivanovic images. There is also a poll on SportsBiz asking readers who is the world’s sexiest tennis player – Sharapova or Ivanovic? After almost 1000 votes, the winner is clearly Ivanovic–she got 90% of the votes. In his most recent Ivanovic post, Rovell gives us an interview with the tennis goddess herself.
In case you won’t get to see her playing tennis on TV, check out this YouTube video for a slideshow of Ivanovic pictures.
"This guy knows all the gossip, the ins and outs, the lashon hara of the Orthodox world. He’s an [expert] in... all the inner workings of the Orthodox world." (Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff)
Why Do We Give Other People What We Want?
I’m sitting in my hovel surrounded by freakin’ balloons. Everywhere I go — which isn’t far in here — I’m tripping over and colliding with balloons.
They’re big and bright and blue and they’re wishing me a happy birthday.
They’re tired up to my meager furniture and to water bottles and to virtually everything but my Torah books.
Did Rabbi Akiva get balloons for his birthday?
Why do I get balloons for my birthday? Because the woman who gave me balloons wants balloons on her birthday.
I’ll tell you what she’ll bloody well get — if she gets anything — and that’s a gift certificate to Barnes & Nobles.
That’s my standard gift (I don’t give many gifts, can’t be bothered).
I’ll tell you a dirty little secret about my gift giving — the only persons who should expect gifts from me are my wives and girlfriends. That’s it. Nobody else should expect even a card, not even a chaste kiss good night.
I’m too busy writing commentaries on the Torah to go shopping. Did the Vilna Gaon give birthday cards? I think not. I bet his wife didn’t even get balloons.
I’ve only once lived with a woman for longer than a few weeks. This was in 1993 and it lasted about three months. And we kept giving each other what we wanted. I gave her long longing notes tucked under her pillow about how much she meant to me. She bought me clothes. I didn’t give a flying leap about clothes and she couldn’t care less about my lovey dovey notes.
In 1987, my sister came over for Christmas. I gave her as a present a book I wanted to read — Days of Rage by Todd Gitlin. She saw right through my gift and didn’t even bother to take it back to Australia with her.
It’s a cold cruel world out there, lover.