Keep It Comin’ Love

I’ve made this important new video celebration of the KC & Sunshine Band 1970s hit.

Here’s an instructional video on when to move in for your first kiss.

Countersinning: How to Practice Jew-Jitsu on the Devil

I fear I’m a lousy lover.

My Guide to the Perplexed on Materialism.

How to find the best movies.

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Uh Huh, Uh Huh

"So how did it go?"

"He did a little dance, made a little love, got down tonight. Whoo hoo. I gave him a hug."

"Did you really?"

"Of course not. I’m not a fag."

"I’m so sad for you.

"What do you want?"

"Uh huh, uh huh. That’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it."

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Don’t Take Revenge

I’m studying Sefer HaChinuch — a 14th Century working enumerating all the mitzvas in the Torah — with a rabbi.

Today we studied the mitzva of not taking revenge.

If someone does something bad to me, I want to hurt them.

It’s uncanny how we all instinctively claw at another person’s weak points when they’ve harmed us.

Revenge is primal. I think Dennis Prager says that vengeance is just revenge. Revenge within moral boundaries.

Anyway, we’re not supposed to take revenge if we live by the Torah.

Why not? To increase peace.

Peace is almost the highest value in Judaism. Most of the time it seems to trump truth.

Here’s the part of the text that I found most interesting — that when other people do us ill, we should view it as the will of Heaven.

Now there is no way to know whether or not what happens to us is G-d’s will, but there are only two basic ways to look at it — either a destructive drunk driver and the like is G-d’s will or it is our bad luck when he hits us.

Those who believe that all things happen because of divine will are likely to be serene. Those who view bad things happening to good people as bad luck are likely to be filled with rage.

Which kind of person do you want to be around?

I prefer to be around serene people rather than ragers.

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The Badatz Are Coming

Here’s a blog post from Beit Shemesh, Israel:

Warning: The Badatz is Coming, and Why We Should Be Worried
 
As residents of R/BS, we are all fed up with the rising tide of violence and intimidation that has charaterized this town for the past 10 years.
 
Just this morning, new signs were put up, threatening another round of violence. This time, the excuse is that the iriya is enforcing the local by-laws, that require people to pay for hanging up signs on buildings: including tznius signs. Rather than pay the fee, they have decided to cause mayhem.
 
Not everyone is aware of the source of the extremism — the arrival of people loyal to Edah Hacharedis. These young individuals, composed of Yerushalmi families of various affiliations, are even more radical than their parents.
 
What is important to emphasize is that this is not a small group of disaffected youth; the violence goes all the way up to the top, to the rabbis that incite and/or support the violence — Rabbis Shia Rosenberger, Naftali Rottenberg, and Nosson Kopshitz.
 
This past summer, we witnessed an outbreak of violence, unprecedented in the history of Bet Shemesh. Not only were there the usually garbage burnings and graffiti, the Yerushalmim, supported by their Rabbis, burnt a forest, poured oil on a major thoroughfare, threw rocks at a bus, scattering glass shards on women and babies, and disrupted the lives of the residents of Bet Shemesh for nearly a month.
 
All the while, these criminals received support from their rabbis. When the three worst criminals were arrested (one of them, the son-in-law of the Burka lady), the rabbis of the Edah Hacharedis called a protest, attacking the "Zionist entity" for "abusing innocent charedim."

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San Fernando Valley Jewish Vigilantes Threatening To Form Committees

Disco Duck emails:

Levi,

I have two things to share. First is that on the first night of Pesach this year my family was assaulted by anti-Semites on the way home from a Seder at 3:30 AM. These punks drove by and deliberately slowed down along side my walking family to throw empty beer bottles at us. The lessons to be learned are many such us Antisemitism is alive and well… The next thing is that in response to an increase in Anti-Semitic attacks in the SFV some men in the local Jewish community are starting to form a "jewish neighborhood watch group" called Valley Mishmar. The website is http://valleymishmar.blogspot.com/

This group is designed to be similar to Shomrim & Shmira in NYC. It will work closely with local police (LAPD) to patrol and report crimes or suspicious activity in the Jewish areas of the SFV. It will also be less of a vigilante group like the groups in NY. This group is long overdue. If anyone can help monetarily or otherwise please visit the site and do what you can.

Valley Mishmar is not a vigilante group. We would report crimes or suspicious activity quickly to the LAPD so they can deal with it. We would be in radio contact with them to expedite the process. We wouldn’t get involved with fighting crime like the NYC groups do. Trust me the local police can use the extra set of eyes. Another goal of Valley Mishmar is to provide education to the local SFV frum community about safety such as not walking alone at night which too many people do. The last goal is to provide walki9ng escorts to and from shul for the elderly, mothers and children. Strength in numbers deters most cowardly criminals form doing anything.

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I Feel Dirty

Somebody used to come into my chatroom with the name "Disco Duck." This person would always ask me to dance. So, thinking DiscoDuck had to be a sheila, I’d do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.

Now I find out that Disco is a married man.

I feel so dirty.

I’ll never dance again.

Disco emails: "Sorry for making you feel bad and tainting your view of dancing. I asked you to dance in the chatroom to cheer you up. You always look so depressed. I hate seeing that."

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On Being Controversial

Rabbi Alan Yuter writes:

Religious Jews speak about Jewish education, Torah commitment and the commandments. The culture of religious Jews and the culture commanded by the sacred library of Judaism are often very different. While Jewish education gives lip service to the commandments of the Torah, in practice the message given always justifies the elites who speak in the name of Torah. Rebbe cards reflect this phenomenon. The canonized book is superseded by the holy man. Calling attention to this disconnect causes consternation and is termed, “controversial.”

While Tradition finds 613 commandments in the Torah, there seems to be a 614th commandment, lurking in the shadow or penumbra of the oral that has gone unrecorded in the sacred Torah library. That commandment is “Thou may not be controversial.” When informing a Rabbi Joseph Tender, an educator at Ner Israel High School in Baltimore County, that I am a student of Rabbi Yosef Faur, this gentleman informed me that my mentor was “controversial.” I responded, “So was Rabbi Kotler,” the founder of Lakewood Yeshiva and the Ashkenazi teacher of Rabbi Faur. Rabbi Faur’s approach is based on law and not politics, and does not defer to social convention. Such independence calls attention to the disconnect between Torah ideals and the reality of Jewish religious life, and is assigned the stigma of being “controversial.”

What does it mean to be religiously controversial in the Orthodox world? The idiom attaches to people and positions that on one hand are not indefensible based on Torah documents, because if the position were in violation of an explicit norm, the error could be identified, cited, and condemned directly. Positions which conflict with those taken by people in power that are reasonably defensible must be attacked by more subtle means.

On one hand, we must disapprove of wrongful thinking; on the other hand, we do not engage in “leshon hara”, negative speech. And by referring to a person or an idea as “controversial,” the syntax is descriptive and the prescription is implicit. We pretend that are not really being negative, but we ominously make our point that to persist in what the culture determines to be deviant thought, behavior, or policy will lead to a social ban. Since for parochial religious society, the sanction of exclusion is so great, being labeled “controversial” is a mark no less damning than Hester Prynne’s scarlet letter, which proclaimed disapproval, disdain, and the desire of a community’s dredges to cast the first accusatory stone.

Just because an idea, person, or principle might valid according to the letter of Jewish law does not mean that the principle, person or idea is “appropriate” in living religious society. According to this ideology, the letter of the law is known to all Israel. But the “spirit” of the law is known, by oral tradition and inspired intuition, to the right reverend rabbis. No one can possibly know the intentions of the Divine Father except through them. Rabbi Herschel Shachter, Rosh Yeshiva at Yeshiva University, proclaimed at a recent Rabbinical Council convention, that synagogue rabbis are clergymen and real Jewish authority is possessed by the great rabbis of the Yeshiva. Apparently, it is controversial to remind the learned rosh yeshiva that it is his job to train rabbis to be his peers and not his pawns, that Torah authority resides not in the academic office of the professor of Torah law, but in the community rabbi, who is ordained to make legal decisions. And if this aspect of Jewish tradition, that it is the community rabbi and not the academic who possesses authority may undergo change, one wonders where, how, and why the non-Orthodox movements are different as well as wrong when they claim that they have the right to change Jewish law.

Now, since the term “controversial” carries disapproval, applying it in the negative context of disapproval constitutes prohibited speech according to Jewish law. But in the emerging religious society where convention trumps covenant because deviant ideas are too dangerous to be tolerated, the term serves a very important social function that cannot be dismissed: it serves as the sanction that reminds insiders to Jewish religious society that not all of its definitions and boundaries are based upon Torah texts. The great rabbis or Torah people have the right to define right thought and action. Our kind of simple Jews, including community rabbis, may not determine proper thought and action by canon and code but must apply convention and custom as determined by the real rabbis of the rabbinical elite. Loyalty to God is defined as loyalty to the rabbinical culture heroes who canonize convention and codify custom and are so great that they may, when necessary, even suspend law and precedent in order to preserve the thick culture of religious society that obeys them, pays them, and honors them.

In this non-controversial and pious world, Rabbis Shlomo Riskin of Efrat, Noson Slifkin the evolutionist Orthodox rabbi, the fabulously learned Daniel Sperber of Bar Ilan University, and the activist consciences of the modern Orthodox world, Saul Berman and Avi Weiss, have earned the stigma of being “controversial.” These rabbis have never consciously violated Jewish law. They have, however, violated what some would consider being accepted convention. Considering convention to be covenant improperly distorts the covenant and is therefore regarded by God to be “controversial.”

It is controversial to claim and to complain that Israel ought to draft all its Jewish citizens, including Orthodox women and Yeshiva students. It is also required according to bSota 44b. Why are the rabbis who claim that the Daas [opinion of] Torah of their communal conventions and intuitions are superior to the revealed religion of the public text of the Oral Torah? Therefore, if one obeys the letter of Torah law, one is a deviant Jew. And by not deferring to those endowed with the intuition to read the mind of God, it is implied that one is not minding the will of God.

The problem with this culture sanction, of dismissing people as “controversial,” is that it violates the real principles of Torah Judaism. If the idiom “controversial” is indeed negative because of connotation, it may not retain the innocence of association implied by dint of denotation. Furthermore, the person who is object of the criticism is denied the opportunity to defend him or herself, as required by Jewish law. Jewish law does not demand obedience in the face of wrong, silence when protest must be heard, or loyalty when Torah values are being subverted or misrepresented. Abraham was controversial when he left the idols of Iraq in order to create a Godly community; Moses was controversial when he challenged the accepted, expected, conservative world of Egypt that deified its elite while defiling its humanity.

Before the Biblical Joshua could be allowed assume the mantle of leadership, the Torah presents a narrative that shows Joshua how to appreciate the fact that the real religion called Torah is the word of God, not convention, custom or culture as conceived by social or political elites. After the Assembly was convened and Eldad and Medad were acting as charismatics in the camp, Joshua dutifully and loyally reported their uppity “offense” to Moses. Rather than restrain talent, Moses would share power with anyone talented who is morally worthy to exercise power. Having learned the lesson that right is based on loyalty to the divine master, and not the human master, Joshua, with Caleb, defy the great elders of Israel by insisting that Canaan is conquerable. Rather than concede to the majority, who outnumbered him 10-2, Joshua took the socially incorrect and theologically courageous position and defied convention. When measured against the benchmarks of canonical Jewish values, might those who exploit the “controversial” epithet be considered to be themselves “controversial?”

When people are told that they are controversial, they are being warned, “we lose too much by being close to you,” you are deprived of approval, and we hope that the sanction social intimidation is sufficient to resolve the insolence of your non-conformity. The idiom is always leveled at those who challenge convention and with whom conversation and dialogue is dangerous. After all, they may be right. Right wing rabbis like Mendel Shapiro, Aron and Mordecai Tendler, Matis Weinberg, or Ner Israel’s Moses Eisenmann are theologically correct and, in spite of charges of sexual and homosexual impropriety, never earn the “controversial” epithet. The modern Orthodox world is not exempt from this controversy. We recall that Baruch Lanner, an abuser of Jewish boys and girls, was first defended with the claim it is improper to say bad things about a rabbinical authority figure. Given the sad fate of Nadav and Abihu, God likely considered this rabbinical ethic to be controversial.

Who fears controversy and who embraces it? The tyrant described in Maimonides, Laws of idolatry 1:1-2, for whom invented religion is the opiate of the masses he deigns to control, controversy is heresy because it asks people to ask the seditious question, “why.” Tyrants who fear accountability condition their community to avoid controversy. These people rule on the basis of intuition—what is good for them is good for the community.

A Torah community that believes in God will be controversial when God’s Torah demands and commands. Women’s prayer groups are “controversial” but sexual abuse must go unreported because rabbis will be shamed. A Torah education worthy of the appellation creates an autonomous religious personality for whom right is determined by principles and not principals. The authentic Torah education will expose wrong even against community pressure. Canon, covenant, and conscience are informed and inflamed in the authentically religious soul. The religiously mediocre soul wants to fit in and be accepted by doing what is expected by culture, community and convention. Only when we are prepared to measure culture and convention with the benchmarks of canon and conscience will the method of “being controversial” translate into “being holy.” And the authentic Jewish leader empowers people to be holy by leading, by exercising the moral courage to be controversial. Rabbis who are unwilling to be controversial in principle have fear of people but not fear of God. In his essay, “Half-Consolation,” on the blood libel, the secular Hebrew writer, Ahad ha-Am showed that the majority who believes the blood libel are wrong, and the Jews, who protest their innocence, are right. Since God is one and truth is one, the authentic believer sanctifies God’s name by being willing to be controversial. Authentic Torah religion demands that we respect an impartial and just God before the partisan pressure of authority persons.

JOE EMAILS: "But R. Faur IS controversial. He had a little Syrian cult going of "return to the Rambam" with this anti-ashkenasi teachings, and wreaked havoc in various communities, such as Seattle. He also had some rather reactionary concepts about the role of women, etc, as well as advocating for things like using bathtubs for mikvah. He was banned by most Sephardic communities."

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I Hate To Say Goodbye

When I get an urge to leave the group, I usually just leave without saying goodbye.

I’m often the first to get to shul and the first to leave.

I don’t like waiting around to talk to people because that feels like low status behavior. I hate waiting for people, period. Every minute that somebody is late, I feel it as a personal insult.

I hate saying goodbye because it is rarely a substantive interaction. Instead you just exchange pleasantries and who needs that?

Sometimes saying goodbye is painfully intimate. I don’t want to look into someone’s eyes and say what’s on my heart. So I just skip out.

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Bake A Cake

"When’s your next appointment?" she asked.

"Tomorrow afternoon," I said.

"Do you want to bring him something?"

"No."

"I want to bake him a kosher bunt cake."

"No. Nothing you can make is kosher."

"You could oversee it."

"No."

"You could mix the egg with the oil and put it in the oven."

"No."

"You could bake the cake in my kitchen. I’d show you."

"Forget it. He doesn’t trust my kashrut anyway."

"Smart man."

"What’s with all this cake talk, woman?"

"That’s what polite society does."

"Don’t bother me, woman."

"You owe him for all the torture you’ve put him through.

"Well, if you get kicked out again, you should become a Modern Orthodox Muslim. You could write about imam predators. Your book would be called, ‘The Molesting Mullah.’"

"It’s time for you to leave."

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‘Countersinning: How to Practice Jew-Jitsu on the Devil’

A young man came into my chat room seeking moral leadership.

He lives in West Virginia with his friend and his wife. The Mrs. has been coming on to him.

What should he do?

In the short term, he should practice onanism, thus using one sin to fight another.

In the long run, he should move out.

guest105:  i need help
guest103:  luke is here for all your needs
guest105:  ?????????????
guest103:  wants & desires
guest105:  desires is my problem
YourMoralLeader:  tell me more
guest105:  i want my best friends wife
guest103:  do not act on  your desires & you won’t have any problems
ChaimAmalek:  Does she want you?
guest105:  yes has came to me
guest105:  on to me
ChaimAmalek:  Avoid her
guest103:  remember the 10 commandments  – though shall not covet….
guest105:  that’s not easy
ChaimAmalek:  Also, what sort of woman is willing to cheat on her husband’s best friend?
guest105:  we all live togeather
ChaimAmalek:  If she wants some on the side, she should seek solace in Craigslist.
ChaimAmalek:  How is it that you all live together?
guest103:  or seek it in craig
guest105:  we share a aptment
ChaimAmalek:  Where is this?
ChaimAmalek:  Are you all post-collegiate types?
guest105:  point pleasant west virginia
guest103:  & not post-sexual
ChaimAmalek:  Move away from there.
guest103:  pronto
guest105:  i can’t
ChaimAmalek:  Why not?
ChaimAmalek:  Living with her is too much temptation
guest105:  my work is here
ChaimAmalek:  Yeah, but in that apartment?
guest105:  very true
ChaimAmalek:  Simply not having to see her in her undies when hubby is not around itself will be a huge boost
ChaimAmalek:  Get another place to live
guest103:  live on a park bench if you have to
ChaimAmalek:  What sort of work do you do that keeps you in West Virginia?
guest105:  it’s jst me and her here now he is at work
ChaimAmalek:  Go to the bathroom and jerk off a few times, then move out
guest105:  i don’t want to be a bad friend
ChaimAmalek:  Good, then move out.
ChaimAmalek:  How old are you?
guest105:  25
ChaimAmalek:  You don’t need a room mate at 25, not in West Virginia
ChaimAmalek:  Or find another one in another apartment
guest105:  why is that
ChaimAmalek:  The place is cheap, right?
ChaimAmalek:  What do you do there?
ChaimAmalek:  Student?
guest105:  not as cheap as you think
ChaimAmalek:  Just move.
guest103:  temptation  temptation temptatiion temptation temptation temptation temptation
guest105:  your right
guest105:  i have to leave before some thing happens
ChaimAmalek:  Short term: jerk off.  Longer term: move out
ChaimAmalek:  Use one sin to fight another.
ChaimAmalek:  A concept not to be found in the Torah, but which is to be found here
guest103:  that is profound
guest105:  what is the torah
ChaimAmalek:  I just wish some women were here to be impressed with my profundity
guest103:  profundity is thy middle name
ChaimAmalek:  G105, what is it that you do in WVA?
guest105:  ty 4 your help
ChaimAmalek:  I’m trying to get a sense for what keeps people in that state.
User guest105 left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Well that took care of that problem.  NEXT!
ChaimAmalek:  You got problems?  I have answers.
guest103:  he left you for his best friends wife
ChaimAmalek:  Sins to counter other sins.
ChaimAmalek:  I am pretty sure that is contrary to something I read in the ten commandments
ChaimAmalek:  And explicity so

I cut loose with some amazing dance moves live on my cam.

They amazed Jew and goy alike.

ChaimAmalek:  This could be a new book: "Countersinning: How to Practice Jew-Jitsu on the Devil"
LeahKleim:  I feel like s**t
guest103:  leah are you shikur ???
ChaimAmalek:  Tell me why
LeahKleim:  because its memorial day
LeahKleim:  Levi,  WTF are u listening too ?
ChaimAmalek:  Yeah, about those lungs….stop abusing them.  I have read that smoking multiplies your chances of getting several horrible diseases
guest103:  you are smokin hot leah but your lungs are compromised
LeahKleim:  no there not, y doc sent me for an X-ray a few months ago, there fine
ChaimAmalek:  Yeah, remember that woman I was talking about?  I dumped her because of her disgusting smoking
ChaimAmalek:  Yes, today, but what about tomorrow?
LeahKleim:  well u dont have to dump me
ChaimAmalek:  Smokers are healthy until they are not
LeahKleim:  Levi WTF !!!
LeahKleim:  This is not yidishe music !
LeahKleim:  play some avremel fried
ChaimAmalek:  He’s not yiddishe
guest103:  luke come out – let me buy you that new suit for shul
LeahKleim:  he’s a meshugine
ChaimAmalek:  He’s psyching himself up for one of his sad attempts to monetize his web site
guest103:  ganz meshugeh
LeahKleim:  duz is nisht a ididshe neshoma !
ChaimAmalek:  Remember to throw in a black hat
guest103:  oy & he can’t dance to boot
ChaimAmalek:  Leah, I want you to stop smoking and to cut back on the drinking
LeahKleim:  no
ChaimAmalek:  Otherwise no lovin’ from me to you
LeahKleim:  its my diet program
LeahKleim:  hes freakin losing it
LeahKleim:  LIVE !
ChaimAmalek:  He’s psyching himself up
LeahKleim:  for nothing
guest103:  dizzy my head is spinning like a worlpool it never ends & its you girl gettin me dizzy
LeahKleim:  he s a loon
guest103:  gay man playing gay music dancing like gay man
LeahKleim:  its sefiras hamoer you goy 1

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