Category Archives: Personal

Which woman will be the first to invite Luke’s jackbooted Aryan sperm into her uterus?

Posted on April 23, 2008 by Luke Ford

Join the fun: palestine4ever: I do notice he’s changing shirts more often. Emma: The less a girl knows him? ChaimAmalek: Luke knows that he can use a petroleum based lubricant on his condoms, thereby assuring their failure during coitus palestine4ever: … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged arafat, attractive women, cat stevens, condoms, converts to islam, famous converts to islam, Holly Randall, important things, Judaism, lol, lubricant, manhood, march of time, ovum, oy, queen noor, semite, sperm, Torah, uterus | Comments Off

My Deepest Lightest Fantasy

Posted on April 22, 2008 by Luke Ford

Since I was a kid, I’ve dreamed about drifting away on helium balloons. About 16 years ago, I had a beautiful dream about floating all the way to New Zealand. There was a terrific Australian movie about this called Danny … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged ap reports, beautiful dream, de carli, deck chair, fire departments, flight suit, gallas, globo tv, helium balloons, paranagua, parishioners, party balloons, port authority officials, rest stop, roman catholic priest, santa catarina state, sao cristovao, sao paulo brazil, small fishing boats, spiritual rest | Comments Off

I’m Live On My Cam!

Posted on April 22, 2008 by Luke Ford

Click here to join the fun! Kevin Roderick reports: Regarding this afternoon’s item on a shortage of matzoh for Passover, mileages vary: "I noticed the shortage too! I live in a very Jewish neighborhood…..near Pico/Robertson…closer to Pico/Fairfax. At my "ghetto" … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged gelson, grocery stores, jewish family, jewish friends, jewish neighborhood, kevin roderick, local market, manischevitz, matzoh, mileages, Passover, pavillions, quot quot, ralphs, rest of the week, ridicule, Santa Monica, shtetl, water and salt, weho | Comments Off

My Crucifixion & Resurrection

Posted on April 21, 2008 by Luke Ford

Tearing down the temple. Throwing out the money changers. Flipping off the beit din! Justification by faith! Sanctification! The Heavenly Sanctuary! Judging the saints! Look at my erection! I can’t be more specific. I know you want the goss, but … Continue reading →

Posted in Passover, Personal | Tagged aaron wildavsky, american judaism, beard, canaan, chat room, cheap grace, close friends, davening, Emma, emotions, hartman, holy days, hovel, job, loser, minyan, mommy, money, origins of judaism, Passover, perverts, rabbi arthur, religious community, rise of islam, sephardi, shmura matza, shul, shuls, tradition, weirdos | Comments Off

I’m Live On My Cam!

Posted on April 21, 2008 by Luke Ford

Click here to join the fun! I’ve missed you guys. guest3: meet any ladies over the break? Guest23: What are we listening to? YourMoralLeader: scorpions Guest23: I’m dying for a slice of white bread Guest23: with a shmear of peanut … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged bore, cardiac arrest, concentration, davening, followers, hog, horses, Judaism, margins, miss emma, peanut butter, prayer session, rituals, scorpions, seder, self assertion, sex money power, shiurim, shmear, white bread | Comments Off

Come Chat With Chavi – The Hot 24 Yo Convert To Judaism

Posted on April 18, 2008 by Luke Ford

We’ll rock you! YourMoralLeader: chavi, are you the copy editor convert to judaism? Chavi: Ha! Yes … I am. Who told you? Chavi: Though, I have mostly defected from journalism for the time being YourMoralLeader: DBerger YourMoralLeader: what are you … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged brandeis, cats, Conversion, Emma, fellow, first night, goyim, grad school, hebrew name, Journalism, judaic studies, Judaism, levi, lol, luke ford, nb, nbsp, night seder, scholar, second temple, stuart miller, uconn, umich | Comments Off

I’ll Rock You Like A Hurricane On My Cam!

Posted on April 18, 2008 by Luke Ford

Are you ready baby? Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane. Come on, come on, come on. It’s early morning The sun comes out Last night was shaking And pretty loud My cat is purring And scratches my skin … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged bitch, desire, hurricane, lips, Love, ready baby, scratches, sting, sun, wolf | Comments Off

Amalek Explains What Luke Ford has in common with Vladimir Putin

Posted on April 18, 2008 by Luke Ford

Chaim writes: "Nothing," you might say, but you would be wrong. Consider Luke’s blossoming relationship with the Irish lass (and honorable Christian) known to the denizens of his chat room as "Emma." She is 18, he is almost 42. The … Continue reading →

Posted in Chaim Amalek, Personal | Tagged chat room, denizens, economic spectrum, Emma, ford, gold medal, irish lass, logical impossibility, luke ford, nbsp, ny post, older woman, relationship, Relationships, vladimir putin, way of the world | Comments Off

Join Me Live On My Cam For The Ceremony Of Bedikat Hametz

Posted on April 17, 2008 by Luke Ford

I will go from room to room in my hovel holding only a candle and a feather and a spoon and I will scoop up the remaining crumbs of bread and chant some gnarly incantations. Following that, I will stage … Continue reading →

Posted in Passover, Personal | Tagged crumbs of bread, gnarly, hametz, hovel, ins, seder, spiritual experience, spoon | Comments Off

My New Beginning

Posted on April 17, 2008 by Luke Ford

This will be my first porn-free Passover in six years, and only my second porn-free Passover since 1995. I was so far behind with my research in 1996, I was watching hardcore on holy days. For professional reasons purely. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Personal | Tagged amp, close relationships, conscious connection, control sexuality, cynical attitude, cynicism, davia ardell, fruits of victory, holy days, horses, hypocrisy, integrity, one foot, orthodox jews, Passover, peter north, porn industry, professional reasons, rabbi, six years, spiritual connection, Spirituality, ties, wisdom | Comments Off