Which woman will be the first to invite Luke’s jackbooted Aryan sperm into her uterus?

Join the fun:

palestine4ever:  I do notice he’s changing shirts more often.
Emma:  The less a girl knows him?
ChaimAmalek:  Luke knows that he can use a petroleum based lubricant on his condoms, thereby assuring their failure during coitus
palestine4ever:  Has he discussed his vaginophobia with you, Emma?
YourMoralLeader:  oy
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, Holly Randall WANTS your seed.
palestine4ever:  These are important things for couples to talk about.
YourMoralLeader:  we only talk about god and stuff
palestine4ever:  oy?
ChaimAmalek:  He has no such fear, that was a bit that I made up and emailed to him that he posted under his name.
YourMoralLeader:  goy
palestine4ever:  I mean, it’s easy to get Yiddish and skinhead language confused
ChaimAmalek:  Holly is feeling the march of time
palestine4ever:  But it could save you some trouble if you ever do time
palestine4ever:  Holly still communicates with him, which I find odd
ChaimAmalek:  She years for Luke’s jack-booted sperm to storm their way into her uterus, planting the flag of Aryan Manhood into her ovum.
palestine4ever:  But then I’ve known girls whose best friends are made up entirely of men who they have once pleasured but no longer do
QuixoticLass:  lovely
ChaimAmalek:  She is getting guidance from her father.
Emma:  mm
palestine4ever:  "the flag of Aryan Manhood" = lol
ChaimAmalek:  Luke is an Aryan.  I am a semite.
ChaimAmalek:  I have never been able to use my rod to direct women to Judaism.
QuixoticLass:  Judaism already has very attractive women
palestine4ever:  name the most famous converts to Islam?
palestine4ever:  Queen Noor = babe
ChaimAmalek:  The Torah does not discriminate on the basis of a woman’s looks
palestine4ever:  Arafat’s wife = babe
palestine4ever:  Cat Stevens = okay, he’s a troll, but he had groupies who were cute
ChaimAmalek:  What about Barak Obama’s wife?
Chavi:  You people forget that I have a job πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  We’ve missed you
YourMoralLeader:  Job, what’s that?
YourMoralLeader:  did you find a seder?
Emma:  Hi Chavi
palestine4ever:  speak of the Gollum
ChaimAmalek:  Might you be interested in being the first to bear Luke’s child?
Chavi:  Yup! Ended up at an Orthodox seder
YourMoralLeader:  sheesh
YourMoralLeader:  how was it?
YourMoralLeader:  was it long and hard?
Chavi:  After spending the weekend with my friend and her kids, no children, no children EVER! πŸ™‚
Chavi:  It was actually pretty awesome — but yes, it lasted about 5 hours
palestine4ever:  Luke, Luke, Luke
Chavi:  And we weren’t even plastered
ChaimAmalek:  Which woman will be the first to invite Luke’s jackbooted Aryan sperm into her uterus?
palestine4ever:  I’ve seen the picture with Kiki. Long and hard do not come to mind
YourMoralLeader:  headline
Chavi:  Emma the She-Man?
Emma:  What?
ChaimAmalek:  No, Holly Randall
ChaimAmalek:  Holly is the one with the inside track.  Plus, she’s a short drive away.
Emma:  hmmm
palestine4ever:  Chaim is taking bets since he’s got Hassid mafia connections
ChaimAmalek:  And she’s nearing thirty.
Chavi:  Everyone having an easy pesach?
Chavi:  Noshing lotsa matzo?
ChaimAmalek:  Mine is super easy
Emma:  She man?
Emma:  lol
palestine4ever:  What did I say?
palestine4ever:  WHAT DID I SAY?
QuixoticLass:  She-ra
YourMoralLeader:  I think she meant that as a compliment, Emma. I hope so.
ChaimAmalek:  I’m more woman than man
palestine4ever:  palestine4ever = PROPHET
ChaimAmalek:  My petzel gets smaller with every monty.
ChaimAmalek:  month
palestine4ever:  This one has too much angst to be a good convert.
palestine4ever:  You want the ones that look good and walk four steps behind their man.
ChaimAmalek:  Some days it seems my member has inverted in on itself
palestine4ever:  I’m a liberated guy myself
palestine4ever:  but it’s indisputed that it works
Chavi:  Angst?
Chavi:  You’re not talking about me, are you?
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, if Holly appeared at the Hovel and demanded procreative sex from you, would you turn her down?
ChaimAmalek:  I say not.
Emma:  Chavi… she man?
palestine4ever:  Yes, you, angsty convert.
Chavi:  HA!
Emma:  Didnt you notice I was here?
ChaimAmalek:  Stop biting one another like this.
Chavi:  Chomp
Chavi:  Chopm
Chavi:  Chomp
palestine4ever:  Of course he wouldn’t
Chavi:  Pac-man style
ChaimAmalek:  Remember – eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap, and there is plenty of the latter to go around
Chavi:  You know the interesting thing about the seder I was at
Chavi:  is that many of those at the table were men
Chavi:  in their 40s/50s
ChaimAmalek:  Losers
Chavi:  all single and some divorced
Chavi:  Imagine that
ChaimAmalek:  Double losers
Chavi:  So many lonely men
palestine4ever:  That’s interesting but hardly surprising.
Chavi:  And they can’t find any women
YourMoralLeader:  Chavi, what did you mean by calling Emma a "she-man"?
Chavi:  WHY oh WHY?
palestine4ever:  It’s a dying religion.
QuixoticLass:  because they’ve forgotten the value of bathing
palestine4ever:  Your future is the enthusiastic but vapid rumblings of your average shiny happy Hillel student.
ChaimAmalek:  I wish to abort this invidious conversation by discussing instead the murder rate amongst the colored of Chicago
CarlNKarcher:  It’s not a dying religion. People are marrying late if they are marrying at all.
ChaimAmalek:  That makes it dying
palestine4ever:  Preach it, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek:  The future belongs to the young and the fecund
Chavi:  I was being snarky. Has anyone ever met Emma? Her photo looks like such a typical MySpace photo that could have been pulled from anywhere!
Chavi:  Call me a skeptic πŸ™‚
Emma:  Whoa hello i am here Chavi
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  Oy ve! Chavi
Emma:  Gee Wizz
Chavi:  πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  I have seen Emma on her cam. She is all woman.
Emma:  Someone dosn’t like me
ChaimAmalek:  Hence we see the death of Italy and much of the rest of Christian Europe, as they are replaced by fecund Muslims from Africa and Pakistan
CarlNKarcher:  Chaim, the MOs and the Litvoks are reproducing themselves with vigor.
Chavi:  I’ve just run into a lot of … fake people on the interweb lately
Chavi:  LOL OMFG
QuixoticLass:  according to Elliot Dorph, you should get married early, have lots of kids
QuixoticLass:  or is it Dorff?
CarlNKarcher:  Why lots?
QuixoticLass:  Dorff
ChaimAmalek:  Yes, but not the rest of Jewish world, and certainly not White America
palestine4ever:  America is destined to be a new Brazil, with little Aryan pockets here and there.
QuixoticLass:  to make up for those who don’t
ChaimAmalek:  Holly Randall knows this in her heart
QuixoticLass:  So I did that
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, give Holly a call right now
CarlNKarcher:  I think we aren’t getting married becauuse we are unusally rough on one another.
ChaimAmalek:  Tell her to come to this cam now and I will talk her into having procreative sex with you
CarlNKarcher:  The singles’ scene in the Jewish world is horribly cruel.
ChaimAmalek:  Don’t wast another of her good Aryan eggs.
Chavi:  Be back. Need to restart the computer.
Chavi:  Have fun, kids.
User Chavi left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  CarlnK, tell us something we don’t know.
palestine4ever:  Luke had it all
ChaimAmalek:  It is doomed to fail, as it arises after when people should mate off
CarlNKarcher:  Gravity was invented by the Chinese.
CarlNKarcher:  How is that?
palestine4ever:  He could have been a great enabler for her addictions rather than recoiled from them
palestine4ever:  After seven years, he still doesn’t know how to be a suitcase pimp.
User guest17 left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Luke has free access to Holly’s womb.  And she is used to the idea of a woman supporting her neerdowell "writer" of a husband
CarlNKarcher:  Chaim…..were you raised in the Yeshivish velt?
palestine4ever:  She’d work while he could sit at home on cam all day
ChaimAmalek:  I am a product of Telshe Yeshiva
palestine4ever:  I don’t think so, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek:  Indirectly
CarlNKarcher:  Chaim…so you gonna do any Mussar on us?
ChaimAmalek:  I have been doing this all along
YourMoralLeader:  Who wants my seed?
palestine4ever:  Emma doesn’t talk much.
Emma:  hello!
palestine4ever:  Hi!
ChaimAmalek:  Today, Luke Ford must call Holly Randal and invite her over
palestine4ever:  That’s better.
palestine4ever:  πŸ™‚
QuixoticLass:  emma talks when she has something to say
palestine4ever:  And what of you, QuixoticLass?
ChaimAmalek:  After he has impregnated her, he can invite Emma over and repeat.
CarlNKarcher:  I didn’t know Emma had so many representatives.
YourMoralLeader:  lol
QuixoticLass:  you people just have diahrea of the hands
ChaimAmalek:  QuixoticLass, if you are female, are you fertile?  Maybe you can squeeze another one out for the team?
palestine4ever:  How do you fit into our plans to Secure an Income for Luke Ford and a Future for his Unborn Children?
QuixoticLass:  I’ve squeezed out 4 already
Emma:  lol
QuixoticLass:  that is sufficient
ChaimAmalek:  Then a fifth one is just a 25% change for you
ChaimAmalek:  Just look at that goyishe punim.  How could you say no?
QuixoticLass:  well, I’m working on the income, but the kids are his problem
PostIronic:  I want to refinance my home mortgage now, where o’ where shall I find guidance?
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, how many white babies are you willing to commit to making?
User frodo left the room.
Emma:  1 or 2… or 8
ChaimAmalek:  8!
palestine4ever:  I don’t know but Spruce Industries has great cleaning products, PostIronic.
ChaimAmalek:  This one is a keeper.
QuixoticLass:  I’d sell an egg and rent my incubator for 40K
ChaimAmalek:  After you impregnate Holly and break up with her again, hook up with Emma.
Emma:  lol
palestine4ever:  QuixoticLass: SOLD!
QuixoticLass:  hahaha
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, if he won’t, I will.  Or I would if I could
Emma:  Ok Chaim
QuixoticLass:  plus maternity clothes, I must be well dressed
ChaimAmalek:  All the time that you ladies spend here when you could be pregnant upsets me
PostIronic:  Do you have a girl friend Chaim?
ChaimAmalek:  Absolutely not
PostIronic:  or wife?
ChaimAmalek:  Nope
User guest19 left the room.
QuixoticLass:  I’ve been pregnant for 3 years of my life, no one should have to endure that
User guest18 left the room.
PostIronic:  been divorced?
palestine4ever:  hahahahaha
ChaimAmalek:  QC, I would if I could, but I cannot.  If not you, then whom?
ChaimAmalek:  I am really a virgin.
ChaimAmalek:  Never been with a woman
PostIronic:  Are you really a female?
ChaimAmalek:  Who?
PostIronic:  Chiam?
palestine4ever:  facepalm.jpg
ChaimAmalek:  Might be.
ChaimAmalek:  Sometimes I feel like a woman…..weepy, depressed, thinking of voting for democrats
PostIronic:  ChaimAmalek, are you really Luke’s wife?
palestine4ever:  Vote Alan Keyes
ChaimAmalek:  Luke and I are as close as lips and teeth
ChaimAmalek:  When Luke sexes Holly, I feel that i am right there
PostIronic:  Well, you can’t be the same person, since he is not typing and you are.  So not a fancy web ventrilloquist…
ChaimAmalek:  ha ha
YourMoralLeader:  Post, how were your seders?
ChaimAmalek:  naive you folks are
palestine4ever:  Especially when he blogs about it during the act.
PostIronic:  The second night seder was surreal.
YourMoralLeader:  How so?
palestine4ever:  Chaim is the Eliza of Luke’s life.
Chavi:  So I’m trying to figure out
ChaimAmalek:  Why can’t they invent a flexible matzo?
Chavi:  Why is it that you post all the chats on your web site?
Emma:  Its fun to read after
YourMoralLeader:  just the good bits
Chavi:  Chaim — Flexible matzo = matzo + water
palestine4ever:  Because he’s earning a living one click on a compost ad at a time.
ChaimAmalek:  not soggy, flexible
Chavi:  But the point is for it to be miserable to spread Temp Tee on!
YourMoralLeader:  what’s that?
Chavi:  Temp Tee = breakstone’s brand of whipped cream cheese
ChaimAmalek:  I have boxes of Tam Tams to sell.
Emma:  Tam tams?
palestine4ever:  It occurs to me that just about every question in this room can be answered with the phrase "Some crazy Jew thing."
PostIronic:  The hosts were lovely. Their apartment was small. The restroom was in the hallway, four feet from the dining room. I let go a loud shofar-like fart. Followed by stacato accents… pa rum rum rum rum , eya eya eya…
ChaimAmalek:  Jewish tampons for the desicated
Chavi:  Tam Tams, alas, weren’t made Kosher l’pesach this year
YourMoralLeader:  charming, Post
Emma:  aha
PostIronic:  I had to violate the hog and turn on the fan.
QuixoticLass:  most pesach products are just matza in different sizes
ChaimAmalek:  Why must Jews so often be so vulgar?
palestine4ever:  I’m shocked and appalled.
QuixoticLass:  "violate the hog" hahahahaha
Chavi:  You guys are a lot more vulgar than any jews I know πŸ™‚
palestine4ever:  And I mean, I grew up with relatives buggering the family pets.
PostIronic:  They were laughing, but when I got outside they were the perfect polite company. all straight faced.
Chavi:  Mazel tov on that one
QuixoticLass:  please, do not violate the hog!
YourMoralLeader:  Post, how about the first night seder?
YourMoralLeader:  Did the bad man touch you?
palestine4ever:  Point it out on the doll
PostIronic:  I blame the "sandwich" we had to eat of schmura matza
PostIronic:  it was hard to get down, as we had the special $20 a slice sephardic soft matza…
PostIronic:  flown in from NJ overnight post
Chavi:  Oh man … I got a box of shmura matzo free at the shul on Friday
Chavi:  It tasted like tortilla chips
palestine4ever:  No way
Chavi:  Way
QuixoticLass:  I spent $20 on matza this year
palestine4ever:  You did not.
Chavi:  yikes
PostIronic:  Oh, tortilla chips don’t have a mitzva
PostIronic:  I spent $20 on matza
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, what has any of this to do with horses?  Nothing.
PostIronic:  handmade
QuixoticLass:  that was for 10 boxes
palestine4ever:  I’m pretty sure giving it away violates some bit of Torah.
Chavi:  why did you need 10 boxes of matzo?
CarlNKarcher:  http://www.jewishinstlouis.org/page.html?ArticleID=137163
palestine4ever:  Exactly, let’s go back to Luke’s quest for normalhood
CarlNKarcher:  Check it out; I just got the link.
ChaimAmalek:  I can smell Holly Randallll ovulating even from this distance.
QuixoticLass:  8 days of Pesach + 4 kids = need a whole lotta matza
PostIronic:  One box of matza, pizza size
ChaimAmalek:  QC, where do youlive?
QuixoticLass:  who is QC?
ChaimAmalek:  you
QuixoticLass:  I’m QL
PostIronic:  On the first night of Pesach, I tried to make a kosher le Pesach pizza
palestine4ever:  When Holly ovulates in California, there’s a monsoon killing orphans in Bangladesh
YourMoralLeader:  lol
palestine4ever:  It’s that powerful.
Emma:  lol omg
palestine4ever:  Luke, I will be frank with you.
ChaimAmalek:  If Luke were a real man, he’d get in that damn vanofhis, drive over to her home, and plant the flag in her womb. That’s what I would do.
palestine4ever:  I’ve never had a woman that looks like Holly.
palestine4ever:  The chances of you ever getting that prize again are, I’m afraid, very remote.
ChaimAmalek:  I met her once.  She is a real sweety
palestine4ever:  BUT
palestine4ever:  You don’t need to reinvent the wheel.
Chavi:  I clicked away … but matzo pizza = my favorite thing
Chavi:  I’ve had it for two meals already this week
palestine4ever:  Just swallow your pride, say some therapy brought out the best in you, and CALL HER NOW.
ChaimAmalek:  She’s tall, blond, smart, physicall and mentally strong, good natured, has exactly the yiccus (family honor) that Luke needs
PostIronic:  I should have made quessadilas
ChaimAmalek:  PLO, I agree
PostIronic:  Luke, that music sucks
Chavi:  Ever done … JDate?
ChaimAmalek:  horrors
Chavi:  Matchmakers are big, you know
Chavi:  Find yerself a yente
palestine4ever:  Thank you, JDL
ChaimAmalek:  I’ve answered ads on Craigslist
YourMoralLeader:  yes, I went 0 for 120 in my month there last August
Chavi:  I know two jews married after meeting on Craigslist
YourMoralLeader:  and I was on the cover of the Jewish Journal and still couldn’t hook up
Chavi:  it can be done
ChaimAmalek:  This is why I know Luke should have gone after Holly
ChaimAmalek:  Holly has it all.
User PostIronic left the room.
Chavi:  Maybe people are intrigued by you and then come here and see your saucy mannerisms and run for the hills!
QuixoticLass:  do you think it had anything to do with what was written about you on the inside of the Jewish journal?

alestine4ever:  And you’ll get Humphrey in the bargain
palestine4ever:  You two can go out and discuss your morals and ethics while your women are shooting porn
ChaimAmalek:  Humphrey is like Luke, only older
PostIronic:  If the Jewish Journal won’t buy an ad on your blog, and you make their calendar girls squirm, it should be obvious that it’s not a win-win relationship
YourMoralLeader:  anyone here need SEO work or refinance?
PostIronic:  First night of Pesach I made dinner in my new apartment.
PostIronic:  the sink backed up.
palestine4ever:  Well, and he’s more sartorial, but that hardly needs to be mentioned
Chavi:  You didn’t seder first night PostIronic?
Chavi:  you missed a mitzvah!
PostIronic:  but I had a wonderful matzo ball soup
palestine4ever:  You have something more interesting to discuss, like matzo pizza?
Chavi:  Kugel maybe?
PostIronic:  I don’t know how to make kugel
Chavi:  It’s easy
Chavi:  as
Chavi:  YML getting laid
Chavi:  HA!
PostIronic:  I refuse to use potato starch pasta
YourMoralLeader:  Post, you need to learn how to please a man
Chavi:  but not
PostIronic:  I’m a man and I’m straight
palestine4ever:  I’ve been in this room 12000 times and I still have yet to hear you folks discussing your plans for ZOG
PostIronic:  You need to learn how to please a man
palestine4ever:  hahahaha
palestine4ever:  YML = GOD
PostIronic:  Can we have other music?
PostIronic:  God doesn’t listen to KLOS
PostIronic:  KLSX
Chavi:  ZOG?
QuixoticLass:  God listens to Jack
palestine4ever:  If Allah created everything, then Allah has listened to everything
palestine4ever:  so yes Allah has listened to KLSX
YourMoralLeader:  Emma likes this song, so there
palestine4ever:  Yes, ZOG.
Emma:  πŸ™‚
palestine4ever:  You and Luke don’t get it but Chaim knows all of the handshakes.
PostIronic:  Emma, do you like the Go-Betweens from Australia?
PostIronic:  They are awesome
PostIronic:  Emma, what else do you like?
Emma:  def leppard
PostIronic:  The thing with Levi is that he will just play the same thing over and over again
Emma:  Only the good songs
Chavi:  My fingers still smell like Garlic
Chavi:  This is deeply distressing
Emma:  Oh dear
PostIronic:  ?
Chavi:  Anyone know how to get garlic off the hands?
PostIronic:  Chavi
palestine4ever:  Soap.
PostIronic:  lemon juice
Chavi:  I made Sephardic spicy fish last night … and it involved garlic
Chavi:  I’ve seriously washed my hand 5 million times
PostIronic:  Yummy!
Chavi:  The food was good. The smell on my hands? Not so much
QuixoticLass:  Post is right.  lemon juice
Chavi:  What if I meet my beshert and he goes to kiss my hand
Chavi:  and BAM! GARLIC!
PostIronic:  parsley oil will also get rid of garlic
palestine4ever:  Why do you eat Jewish food now that you’ve converted?
Chavi:  I made the fish because it’s Pesach
QuixoticLass:  Chavi, any strong acid will do
Chavi:  Hrm. Thanks, QL
Chavi:  I will have to give this a go when I get home
palestine4ever:  I mean, it’s just food.
PostIronic:  Doesn’t look like I will be learning about how to refinance my mortgage now.
palestine4ever:  What if you’re an astronaut and have to eat from a tube?
Chavi:  I’m not following …
Chavi:  Are you offended that I sometimes eat "jewish" food?
palestine4ever:  Will Allah of Jahweh or G*d as some of you crazies call him hate you for drinking Tang?
PostIronic:  Fry’s electronics has astronaut food and I have to say the freezedried stuff is not bad
Chavi:  I would hate me for drinking Tang
PostIronic:  Yay!
PostIronic:  Go-betweens!
Chavi:  πŸ˜€
palestine4ever:  I’m offended by almost everything
QuixoticLass:  freezedried ice cream is yum
Chavi:  I’ve had the freezdried ice cream
Chavi:  Stuff is tasty!
PostIronic:  oh yes – freeze dried ice cream!!!
palestine4ever:  That’s almost a tolerable musical selection Luke
YourMoralLeader:  Post, don’t you have computer work to do? like making a 404 page for a friend?
palestine4ever:  HOLY s**t IT’S A CUP
QuixoticLass:  omg freeze dried dippin dots as a breakfast cereal…
Emma:  lol
PostIronic:  I have to meet up with my dad right now in the valley. and hear about his mortgage refinance at e-loans
Chavi:  swish
Chavi:  swish
Chavi:  swallow
PostIronic:  no thanks to RefinanceMortgageNow.net
User QuixoticLass changed their name to ThanksForUsingAGlassYouCAveman.
palestine4ever:  LOL
Emma:  lol Lass
palestine4ever:  It’s a mug, even
ThanksForUsingAGlassYouCAveman:  details…
palestine4ever:  This is a huge step up in Project: Educating Luke Ford
User ThanksForUsingAGlassYouCAveman changed their name to QuixoticLass.
PostIronic:  that music is not erotic for me…
Emma:  Woop!
palestine4ever:  Okay, I’ve got some naming of the Jew to do
Chavi:  dropping like flies they are!
PostIronic:  that music is crashing my browser…
PostIronic:  hint hint – we are exiting in droves
ChaimAmalek:  AMALEK never leaves
ChaimAmalek:  He is here in all of your hearts always
ChaimAmalek:  He is immortal.
PostIronic:  Chaim how will Levi make some money and support as wife?
PostIronic:  Is it through the mortgage refinance industry?"
ChaimAmalek:  who did we pick to be his wife?  If it is Holly, NO PROBLEM
ChaimAmalek:  She is self supporting and used to the idea of a woman supporting her man
ChaimAmalek:  Holly, if you are out there, will you marry me?
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, how does this sound to you.  You get Emma, and I get Holly
PostIronic:  Well it should be someone in Wellness
PostIronic:  Levi is in Wellness
ChaimAmalek:  That way, everyone is happy
PostIronic:  Is Holly in Wellness?
PostIronic:  Emma?  are you in the Wellness phase of your treatment?
YourMoralLeader:  hey, watch it Post
ChaimAmalek:  What is all this wellness talk?  Sounds like an HMO
Emma:  Treatment?
PostIronic:  s a joke
Emma:  ok
ChaimAmalek:  This chat thing does not let me go up and see the early stuff
ChaimAmalek:  QL, if you no longer do procreative sex, does that mean that you are celibate?
ChaimAmalek:  How do orthodox Jews work that?
PostIronic:  Why are you playing all of this seduction music and not Dennis Prager reruns??
Emma:  Chaim.. you seem to love the subject of sex even though you are post sexual
ChaimAmalek:  Prager is a pansie.  Most of those conservative faux hawks are, you know
ChaimAmalek:  Old men remember the dreams of their youth.
PostIronic:  maybe Prager was just a phase
ChaimAmalek:  I can be limp as a noodle, but still rememberdreams of pretzel days
Emma:  lol
QuixoticLass:  I no longer date Orthodox men, apparently.
ChaimAmalek:  My nickname was "Rolled Gold"
ChaimAmalek:  (for the benefit of Emma, that’s the name of a brand of petzel snack)
Emma:  Gotcha πŸ˜‰
ChaimAmalek:  What sort of man do you date?
QuixoticLass:  they tend to label themselves "spiritual but not religious"
ChaimAmalek:  Diamond dealers?  Bankers? 
PostIronic:  This is stripper music
QuixoticLass:  whatever that means
ChaimAmalek:  Orthodox are religious but not spiritual
ChaimAmalek:  Spiritual means "I am willing to have sex with you and then talk aobut it"
QuixoticLass:  I did date a diamond courier
Emma:  lol
QuixoticLass:  but not a dealer
ChaimAmalek:  Is it true they hide their jewels in their private parts?
QuixoticLass:  i have a 2 felon limit, no dealers
ChaimAmalek:  I want to marry Holly
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, set her free for me
PostIronic:  Have you bought her a ring?
ChaimAmalek:  If she sees you marry Emma and move to Ireland, then maybe I got a chance
QuixoticLass:  no they do not hide them in their private parts
QuixoticLass:  they carry guns, big ones
Emma:  lol
PostIronic:  Emma, have you gotten a marriage proposal before?
ChaimAmalek:  I wish I carried a big gun
Emma:  Nothing serious
QuixoticLass:  most men do, chaim, you’re not alone
PostIronic:  Has anyone who has proposed marriage offered to support you?
Emma:  No..
ChaimAmalek:  I have heard that Luke is well armed
ChaimAmalek:  If I had large shvanze, bidde bidde biddebum, I wouldn’t have to work hard, bidde bidde bidde bidde bum
PostIronic:  I’m hungry dammit!
ChaimAmalek:  All day long I’d blog, and women would say "Pardon me, rev Chaim"
PostIronic:  hungry!!!
ChaimAmalek:  Small penises are half the reason why white men go after Asiatic women
ChaimAmalek:  The others being their look and character and values
ChaimAmalek:  I’ve never even gone yellow.
ChaimAmalek:  QL, have you ever miscegenated?
ChaimAmalek:  Has anyone here every miscegenated?
PostIronic:  so small penis = asian wife?
QuixoticLass:  my kids all look like me, you’ll never know
ChaimAmalek:  Half the time, this is what men are thinking.  "My penis is too small to please the sex in the city watching white woman, so I will find a smaller aSian woman"
ChaimAmalek:  That’s why Holly hit it off with Luke.
PostIronic:  what about kimora simmons (russell simons)
ChaimAmalek:  Each was right sized for the other.
PostIronic:  http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&resnum=0&q=kimora+simmons&um=1&ie=UTF-8
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  ok luke .. I have to be honest .. the only reason I come to this site . its that your beard … I need to check back on it.. being a man of grizzled stubble myself!
PostIronic:  YAY!!!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  you should change the name of this site .. to LukeBeardwatch.com
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  btw .. since KarkKarcher is online .. is there a free burger in this crap! πŸ™‚
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  interest rates are going down!  … r u high? πŸ˜‰
Chavi:  What’d I miss …
Emma:  Not much Chavi
Chavi:  Phew
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  what is this an infomerical! .. stop luke .. we want porn and blogging!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  this is not the wall street journal report! πŸ™‚
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  lol
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  comedy is my real talent!
YourMoralLeader:  http://refinancemortgagenow.net/blog/
YourMoralLeader:  here’s my baby
PostIronic:  woo hoo!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  f that .. we want porn and blogging . get back to what you do well! πŸ™‚
PostIronic:  yes!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  yes .. can I borrow a million dollars interest free .. I promise I’ll pay it back! .. really I promise!
PostIronic:  tell me about e-loans vs. countrywide
PostIronic:  well……
PostIronic:  heh
PostIronic:  ok – i have to go to the valley
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  moral leader .. do you have 2 italian guys name vinnie and guido wokring for your new loan op?
Chavi:  so …
Chavi:  what’s up with the commercial stuff here?
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  what kind of freak’n football is that? ..
Chavi:  i mean, as much as i like listening to luke talk …
ChaimAmalek:  The irony is that unless he marries into money, Luke will never be in any position to buy a house.
ChaimAmalek:  Only HOLLY RANDAL can save Luke from this grim fait!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  bank robbing is always an option!
Chavi:  ha ha ha, Chaim
Chavi:  You know, people are burning down their houses a lot these days because of the mortgage crisis
ChaimAmalek:  HOLLY RANDALLLLL is the cure to all that ails Luke
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  sugermommas.com …  luke’s next big web adventure!
Chavi:  okay
Chavi:  i’m leaving
Chavi:  ta ta, y’all!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  fyi … luke you should hook up with my boyfriend .. Yanni Raz mortage broker ..
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  can u spare a dime brother!  ..  GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!  .. (she’s not a human being!)
ChaimAmalek:  He will end up like . . . . . . .
ChaimAmalek:  sad
ChaimAmalek:  so sad
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  money.. money.. money .. honey…. 
ChaimAmalek:  Best thing that could happen to Luke right now is this:
ChaimAmalek:  Holly does an intervention, bursting into his home wth some Mexicans
ChaimAmalek:  They scoop up his few valuables, carry them into her waiting Escalade.
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  best thing that could happen to luke right now .. is THREE words .. RAZOR .. SHAVING CREAM!
ChaimAmalek:  Then they chloroform Luke, ala "The Case of the Manicled Mormon"  (Google it)
ChaimAmalek:  He awakens in her home, with Holly standing over his head demanding his sperm
ChaimAmalek:  He agrees, marries her, and that’s that
Emma:  scary
ChaimAmalek:  Then just to guard against backsliding, they burn down his hovel
ChaimAmalek:  And torch his van
ChaimAmalek:  So luke is totally dependent on Holly for housing, food, and sex.
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  burn the hovel .. burn it down .. burn the whole damn thing back down! (repeat verse!)
ChaimAmalek:  Everyone knows I’m right about this. 
ChaimAmalek:  Even Emma can see the logic.
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, your only hope is to appear at his door with three stout Irish lads to kidnap Luke for yourself.
ft the room.
ChaimAmalek:  So luke is totally dependent on Holly for housing, food, and sex.
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  burn the hovel .. burn it down .. burn the whole damn thing back down! (repeat verse!)
ChaimAmalek:  Everyone knows I’m right about this. 
User Emma left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Even Emma can see the logic.
User Emma ( entered the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, your only hope is to appear at his door with three stout Irish lads to kidnap Luke for yourself.
ChaimAmalek:  Just google "The Case of the Manacled Mormon" to read about the condign fate that Luke needs
Emma:  blah
YourMoralLeader:  You guys are weirding Emma out and she’s the reason people come here.
ChaimAmalek:  yeah that suggests a new line of business.
ChaimAmalek:  Renting hot chix to appear in chat rooms to attract the nerds
ChaimAmalek:  ALso, what is QL, chopped liver?
ChaimAmalek:  I wish Holly were here. 

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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