YourMoralLeader: chavi, are you the copy editor convert to judaism?
Chavi: Ha! Yes … I am. Who told you?
Chavi: Though, I have mostly defected from journalism for the time being
YourMoralLeader: DBerger
YourMoralLeader: what are you doing these days?
YourMoralLeader: for work?
YourMoralLeader: He sent me links to your articles on conversion
Chavi: I work at…as an assistant and sometimes editor, but am heading to grad school in the fall at UConn for Judaic studies
YourMoralLeader: i linked ’em up on lukeford.net
Chavi: ahh! wow, thanks
Chavi: i’m just heading over there
YourMoralLeader: that’s awesome, why UConn?
Chavi: Well, it was Brandeis/UConn/UMich — and Uconn was the most welcoming and offered the most funds
YourMoralLeader: cool
YourMoralLeader: any particular professor?
Chavi: Stuart Miller was particularly enticing. He’s a second temple/talmudic scholar; just a really intelligent fellow
YourMoralLeader: do you want to be a prof or teacher?
Chavi: Definitely a professor, though we’ll see where it takes me. I could end up working in a day school or in the community somehow
Chavi: Did Dberger tell you about the jewsbychoice.org site?
YourMoralLeader: yes
YourMoralLeader: it’s cool
YourMoralLeader: i have a lot of friends who are converting
Chavi: we are truly the coolest of the cats
Chavi: Your site is massive! It might take me months to dig through everything 🙂
Chavi: See, and that’s something I’m considering .. when I head off to school I’m going to try to implement Chavi
YourMoralLeader: My Hebrew name is Levi
YourMoralLeader: That’s what my orthodox friends call me
YourMoralLeader: Luke ford is fine for the goyim
Chavi: Ahh! Levi is a stellar name
Chavi: True
Emma: lol
Chavi: My generic, Midwestern name will never fade into oblivion
Emma: Hi Levi
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Chavi: Those in Nebraska/Missouri will always know me as such
YourMoralLeader: Hi Emma!
YourMoralLeader: yes,
Emma: 🙂
YourMoralLeader: I split up my life
Chavi: Although, I chose Chavi because it means the same thing as my given name
YourMoralLeader: I have friends in different areas and don’t seek to bring ’em together, that makes me v. nervous
Chavi: Ha!
Chavi: You shoulda seen my mom at the conversion ceremony … oy she was so confused
YourMoralLeader: lol
YourMoralLeader: she was in the mivkeh with you?
Chavi: oh no! the public ceremony at the shul
Chavi: the naming and presentation part of the conversion
YourMoralLeader: lol
Chavi: The mikveh would have blown her mind
Chavi: "Are you being baptized!?"
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s a nice 18yo christian girl in ireland, I’m trying to lure her to the dark Jewish side.
Chavi: Ha!
Emma: lol
Chavi: I had a friend recently go to Ireland (he’s also a convert) and attended shul there, though I’m not sure which one
Chavi: I believe he was in Dublin
YourMoralLeader: emma’s in teh sticks
Emma: Cool
Chavi: I imagine Hebrew with an Irish accent is beautiful
YourMoralLeader: only met one jew in her life
Chavi: Yikes! I know how that goes 😀
Chavi: ha ha
Emma: yES SIR
Chavi: Only 6,000 Jews in Nebraska, 60 at my college, and I knew about 10 others my own age who were Jewish
YourMoralLeader: I’m embedding subliminal messages in these rock songs I play on here to prey on Emma.
Chavi: Lol
Emma: lol
Chavi: Emma, we’re awesome, come on 🙂
YourMoralLeader: working so far
Emma: Yep
YourMoralLeader: chavi, what were the toughest parts about becoming jewish? for me it was losing my foreskin.
YourMoralLeader: It’s a sore issue for me.
Chavi: Ha! You actually did the circumcision!? Mazel tov on that. So I’m assuming you converted Orthodox?
YourMoralLeader: yeah, just kidding about the foreskin, i was circumsized at birth and I did it myself! I also cut my own hair
Chavi: For me it was dealing with everyone thinking it was a big joke … and then the whole Christian friends more or less disowning me
Chavi: Phew, lol …
Emma: I can imagine it would be Luke
Chavi: I was worried for a second
Emma: You did it yourself?
Chavi: Even the ritual circumcision hurts my brain
YourMoralLeader: yes
Emma: Liar
YourMoralLeader: i was precocious kid, just 8 days old
Chavi: good thing i have my own office at work
Chavi: else the laughter would garner funny looks
Emma: lol
Chavi: I’m following you via Twitter now, FYI
YourMoralLeader: chavi, have you lost friends, lost touch with friend due to your conversion?
YourMoralLeader: cool!
Chavi: A lot of my high school friends looked down their noses at me. I ejected myself from a forum with newspaper friends from the college paper becuase they were constantly making Holocaust and Jewish jokes and poking at me and my decision
Chavi: But for the most part — the true friends have stuck around
Emma: Thats good
Chavi: Football?
Chavi: Throwin’ around the old PIG SKIN?
YourMoralLeader: is that wrong?
YourMoralLeader: everything I do, it’s a sin
Chavi: With Pesach around the corner, even!
Chavi: For shame …
Chavi: So do you freelance now? Or …?
YourMoralLeader: i blog
YourMoralLeader: and sin
Emma: lol
Chavi: and Yom Kippur is so far away!
Chavi: but *yay* for no hell!
YourMoralLeader: G-d must be angry with you
Chavi: Probably … he’s probably angry at Barack Obama
Chavi: 😀
Chavi: For being so AWESOME.
YourMoralLeader: Didn’t the rabbis teach you to be so pure in thought and word and deed?
Emma: Well thats good no injuries Chavi…
Chavi: Aye. The lesson of lashon hara. I’m a gossip, I know!
YourMoralLeader: You’ve always been the one to blame!
Chavi: I’ll make a good Jewish mother someday
Chavi: Adonai! Forgive me, please!
Emma: lol
Chavi: Take it out on Kansas!
Chavi: I would have said Texas, but I didn’t want to offend Ted
Ted: hahaa! we had our fair share of storms and tornados lately!
Chavi: I can imagine. Has it gotten steamy hot down there yet?
Chavi: Not sure where you are … but man. Austin is so humid and Houston is just downright miserable in summertime
Ted: no, still nice weather between storms
Ted: in the 60’s and 70s
Ted: Hello Mr Putin.
Chavi: Vladimir Putin? Such grace has entered the room!
User VladimirPutin changed their name to ChicagosBestBoy.
Chavi: Chicago’s Best boy?
User ChicagosBestBoy changed their name to VladimirPutin.
YourMoralLeader: Hey Vlad
VladimirPutin: I’m many in one.
VladimirPutin: EPLURBUS UNUM
YourMoralLeader: Chavi, we’ve had ElShaddi and Jesus Christ in here
Chavi: I guess that would make me Chicago’s Best Girl
Chavi: Ha! Have you had Xenu, though?
VladimirPutin: Where in Chicago?
YourMoralLeader: no
VladimirPutin: I wish I had thought of Scientology first.
YourMoralLeader: Vlad, why did you divorce the wife of your youth and hook up with some slutty 24yo?
Chavi: Where in Chicago? Everywhere!
VladimirPutin: Ask Luke about his Emma
VladimirPutin: Where.
YourMoralLeader: I haven’t divorced my wife, Vlad
Chavi: Presently: Hyde Park
Chavi: Typically: Lakeview
VladimirPutin: Surrounded by violent people of color
YourMoralLeader: now now
SweeTCaKesSs: you’re married
VladimirPutin: Chavi, have you ever walked south of 61st street?
Emma: brb
Chavi: Nope, and I don’t care to!
Chavi: Violence = not so much fun.
VladimirPutin: Luke, I see this as God’s way of bringing women to Judaism
YourMoralLeader: chat?
VladimirPutin: Women with the genes the Jewish people need
SweeTCaKesSs: u looked better without the beard luke
VladimirPutin: We have enough people who can argue and do taxes, we need more who are not strangers to water, who can ride horses and the like
Chavi: Vlad has lost me
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VladimirPutin: Well Chavi, there is a deep backstory here, and you are new to this.
SweeTCaKesSs: Luke ????
SweeTCaKesSs: 😛 u there?
YourMoralLeader: He’s hot for your shiksa genes/jeans, Chavi.
VladimirPutin: It all begins with a date.
YourMoralLeader: Hi sweetie
Chavi: Indeed, I am new
Chavi: Ha!
SweeTCaKesSs: hiii ;D
VladimirPutin: Also Emma’s.
YourMoralLeader: off limits, Vlad!
YourMoralLeader: Hit on Chavi
Chavi: You know I searched far and wide to find some Jewish genes, and all I could come up with was Huguenot and Quaker genes
SweeTCaKesSs: u looked better without the beard 😛 not saying u look bad though
Emma: lol
Chavi: So you’re interweb predators looking for a hot date!?
VladimirPutin: I have some black in me, for real.
VladimirPutin: I have a test from National Geographic that proves it.
Chavi: Oy …
YourMoralLeader: The others are, Chavi, but not me. I’m taken with emma.
VladimirPutin: No joke.
Emma: 🙂
Chavi: Emma, do you have red hair?
YourMoralLeader: This chat is my way to be a light unto the nations!
Emma: No
Chavi: Phew
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VladimirPutin: People with naturally red hair are the elite of the human race
Chavi: I was always envious of the redheads
Emma: Why?
Chavi: I met an Irishman last week, man alive was he gorgeous
Chavi: Redheads are the most beautiful of them all
VladimirPutin: It is the rarest and fairest of colors.
Chavi: in my opinion
YourMoralLeader: oy, cant stand ’em
VladimirPutin: I toally agree.
Emma: Why Luke
VladimirPutin: The only thing better is strawberry blond hair.
YourMoralLeader: I don’t like that hair color.
Chavi: Brunettes Unite!
Emma: Even strawberry blonde?
YourMoralLeader: unless you have it, Emma, then I would adore it.
Chavi: Pasty skinned brunettes, unite faster!
YourMoralLeader: Not my thing, emma.
VladimirPutin: the best is strawberry blond/copper color red
YourMoralLeader: yuck
VladimirPutin: Luke likes his women hairless anyway
Chavi: ha ha ha ha
Emma: Im naturally strawberry blonde Luke
VladimirPutin: the best!
YourMoralLeader: Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops
Emma: lmfao!
YourMoralLeader: I’m gonna learn to love it
VladimirPutin: Emma, have my babies and we will make red heads.
VladimirPutin: It could be via artificial insemination
VladimirPutin: FedEx goes everywhere.
Emma: lol
Emma: omg your face Luke
Chavi: I feel like I’m in college
YourMoralLeader: Go West! Life is peaceful there!
ChaimAmalek: Luke, what sort of dinner item do you bring to a seder?
YourMoralLeader: My divrei Torah
ChaimAmalek: I fear you have bread crumbs in your beard
YourMoralLeader: Your sister removed them last night.
Emma: lol
Chavi: Have you guys seen the matzo song video?
ChaimAmalek: Emma, remember to shave off ALL of your hair when you meet luke
YourMoralLeader: no,
YourMoralLeader: link?
Emma: mmm
ChaimAmalek: buy a wig for your head
Emma: lmao
YourMoralLeader: Never listen to Amalek, Emma
Emma: Im not
Chavi: http://mamaloshen.blogspot.com/2008/04/easy-passover-with-matzo.html
ChaimAmalek: Luke listens to AMALEK all the time
Chavi: check it yo
YourMoralLeader: Don’t stop off in NY either, Emma, and tell me later it was to see a friend.
Chavi: (I’m such a blog whore, man)
ChaimAmalek: ha ha
Emma: I won’t Luke
ChaimAmalek: Luke, do you eat rice on Passover?
YourMoralLeader: no
YourMoralLeader: goy
ChaimAmalek: What’s the deal with rice on passover?
ChaimAmalek: like, why can’t you eat it?
Chavi: It’s kitniyot
ChaimAmalek: What does that mean?
Chavi: too much effort … you’d have to search it three times before cooking it
Chavi: It means that the rabbis were in a tissy about confusing the grains and kitniyot
Chavi: So they banned it
ChaimAmalek: Search it for what?
Chavi: To make sure none of the forbidden items got all mixed up into it
ChaimAmalek: Why would they?
Chavi: Because s**t happens, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek: It’s grown in totally dissimilar areas
Emma: Ok I’m off out
ChaimAmalek: Rice and wheat are NOT grown or processed side by side
Emma: Bye people
Emma: Take care xx
Chavi: In some cases they ARE processed in the same places
ChaimAmalek: I look forward to your visit emma
Chavi: Ta ta emma!
ChaimAmalek: OK, what about other grains?
Chavi: The Conservative movement has basically declared the kitniyot rule false
Emma: Keep dreaming
ChaimAmalek: let’s keep it on the down-low
ChaimAmalek: You know, the orthodox can be wrong.
Chavi: you’re watching the video!
ChaimAmalek: For example, this prohibition on using electricity on the sabbath is rooted in ignorance of basic science
Chavi: Yah. Everyone can be wrong
ChaimAmalek: But the orthodox never admit to that
Chavi: Sometimes, dear, it’s about tradition
Chavi: I’m not Orthodox, btw
YourMoralLeader: Not what I hear, chavi.
ChaimAmalek: How can it be a tradition when electricity became an issue only in the 19th Cent?
Chavi: Ha! I’m toying with Mod. Ortho
ChaimAmalek: Rabbis are ignorant when it comes to whatever is not in the Talmud
ChaimAmalek: At least the Satmar etc. are
Chavi: Not the Samaritans!
Chavi: 🙂 They’re Torah only
ChaimAmalek: Chavi do you believe in the torah as the literal word of God, or as a composite text written by at least two authors?
YourMoralLeader: My creed is sola scriptura, sola fide, sola christos
ChaimAmalek: You know, "Lord" vs. "God"
Chavi: I believe that G-d revealed Torah at Sinai, and that it was composed in written form by many authors — that is undeniable
ChaimAmalek: We agree on the latter point at least. How about you, Luke?
YourMoralLeader: Do you believe in female rabbis?
YourMoralLeader: I believe the Torah comes from haShem
ChaimAmalek: They are like unicorns
Chavi: Lol
ChaimAmalek: Luke, do you believe that the Torah in the form we have it was written by two groups of human authors?
ChaimAmalek: Women do not belong as rabbis.
Chavi: I’m not a fan of women rabbis
Chavi: Not going to lie about that one
YourMoralLeader: Ha!
ChaimAmalek: It really is a turn off to see this. Women should be all about arousing their man, which is not proper for a temple
Chavi: Mostly because, in my experience, women rabbis are cold and overcompensating to play with the "big boys"
Chavi: What are you eating?
ChaimAmalek: Nor do I believe in women as RC priests, although I would like to see nuns marry priests
YourMoralLeader: Chaim, Chavi is a lesbian, so stop being insensitive.
Chavi: I am *so* not a Lesbian …
YourMoralLeader: cottage cheese
ChaimAmalek: I don’t believe in lesbians either
Chavi: You know, this week’s parshah fits in nicely with this convo
Chavi: PS: I LOVE COTTAGE CHEESE!
YourMoralLeader: I’m a vegetarian
Chavi: I like steak
Chavi: Mm … steak
Chavi: moooo
Chavi: stab!
ChaimAmalek: Also nowhere does the torah acknowledge the existence of, let alone ban, lesbians or lesbianism
YourMoralLeader: do you like kangaroo meat?
Chavi: Talmud equates the passages to lesbians as well
Chavi: Never had ‘Roo meat
ChaimAmalek: I eat cottage cheese every day
Chavi: SO DO I!
Chavi: Wow
YourMoralLeader: ever gone down under?
Chavi: We’re like, kindred spirits
ChaimAmalek: An entire small carton is my breakfast
Chavi: Aussie’s are the bee’s knees.
ChaimAmalek: With two bananas
Chavi: That’s a mighty breakfast
Chavi: Are you eating breakfast right now then?
ChaimAmalek: And fruit juice, diluted with water
YourMoralLeader: lunch
Chavi: Man, a banana sounds good
YourMoralLeader: I’m gonna starve for the next nine days
Chavi: I must retrieve one
Chavi: Nah, you’ll be fine
Chavi: make some matzo pizza
ChaimAmalek: Dont most jews gain weight over passover?
Chavi: matzo pizza is my favorite thing
ChaimAmalek: DC is a dummp
ChaimAmalek: VIOLENT
ChaimAmalek: I used to live there
YourMoralLeader: anyone in here dated a black man?
ChaimAmalek: Just you
Chavi: Nope.
YourMoralLeader: ur all a bunch of homophobic bigots
Chavi: ha ha ha ha ha
Chavi: DC isn’t *all* a dump
Chavi: There are some nice spaces
ChaimAmalek: It is a grim fact of American life that the greater the fraction of a town’s population that is black, the higher its murder rate
ElShaddai: homophobic bigots?
YourMoralLeader: Chavi, chaim is on good behavior today. Normally he asks every female who enters these hallowed grounds
Chavi: So why the behaving?
YourMoralLeader: how many diamonds they’d be in they worked for the emperor’s club
ElShaddai: I love black people. It’s queers I hate
Chavi: I mostly hate white people.
ChaimAmalek: I love all people who exalt me
Chavi: And midgets.
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, are you white?
Chavi: Yes, I’m white
Chavi: I’m incredibly white
Chavi: I’m burn-your-retnas white
YourMoralLeader: blinging
YourMoralLeader: blinding
ElShaddai: she is white hot
Chavi: Oh yes, ElShaddai
ChaimAmalek: I once asked a Jewess friend of Luke’s this, and she said she was not
YourMoralLeader: how tall?
ChaimAmalek: RACE TRAITOR was she
Chavi: 5’4.5" 🙂
ChaimAmalek: Hyde Park is like a ghetto, is it not?
Chavi: Race is a figment of the imagination. We’re one race. Hippies rule
ChaimAmalek: You can’t go south of f61st, north of 47th, west of Cottage Grove, and east is the lake
Chavi: Hyde Park has pockets of class. It’s got some fancy, rich folk — Obama and Farakkan among them
Chavi: Yah, pretty much
Chavi: I wouldn’t even make the bounds that broad
ChaimAmalek: Does Pastor Wright live there?
Chavi: Probably
YourMoralLeader: Chavi will go anywhere once
Chavi: I don’t know, though. This is why I live in Lakeview, though
Chavi: You know it!
Chavi: Which is why I rode the Green Line into the ghetto the other day just for kicks! (I actually missed my stop …)
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, the most important task for any Jewish women these days is to have many children.
YourMoralLeader: lol
Chavi: I need to get started
Chavi: Turkey baster: Check
ElShaddai: is there a shortage of Jews?
ChaimAmalek: I can send you ampules
ChaimAmalek: Yes, also of white people
Chavi: There is a shortage of intelligent, attractive, sane Jews.
Chavi: JDate just isn’t cutting it
ChaimAmalek: Jdate is craigslist for accountants
ElShaddai: I got laid from JDate—-loved it
YourMoralLeader: tell me more
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ChaimAmalek: yeas
ChaimAmalek: never tried it
ChaimAmalek: they would not let me on
ElShaddai: why not?
Chavi: Yah, the thing about Jdate … is it’s either people wanting to preach to you, or people wanting to get laid
ChaimAmalek: I have to be careful, as some of the ultraorthos want to kill me
Chavi: In DC, I went on 5 dates and 4/5 wanted to hook up.
YourMoralLeader: I hate that
YourMoralLeader: it offends me
Chavi: And the 5th guy? Orthodox and lectured me about why I wasn’t Orthodox
ChaimAmalek: oh please
YourMoralLeader: I’m not just a piece of meat
ElShaddai: is there something wrong with hooking up?
ElShaddai: it seems natural
Chavi: Well …
Chavi: It’s not my bag
YourMoralLeader: it becomes meaningless after the first three decades
YourMoralLeader: It leaves me feeling empty inside
Chavi: If I wanted to hook up, I’d go to a bar and flash my womanly wiles.
ElShaddai: but blogging fills that void, huh?
ChaimAmalek: The only way Jews and White People can win the ongoing struggle for survival and planetary dominance is to be less picky and have more procreative sex
YourMoralLeader: Bjs are out then
ChaimAmalek: yes they are out as are condoms
Chavi: Where are the women? I’m outnumbered here
ChaimAmalek: Women should limit sex to times when they are ovulating, and then if not married, make a point of having sex
YourMoralLeader: Chavi, i apologize for amalek taking us into the gutter
ChaimAmalek: Just like elsewhere on the internet
Chavi: Ha
ChaimAmalek: I am speaking in blunt terms what the Rabbis believe
ChaimAmalek: You see, I want our team to win
ChaimAmalek: But for that, we must have numbers.
ElShaddai: chaim how often do you take one for the team?
ElShaddai: I’m thinking, a lot
Chavi: So what you’re saying, is that I should just start having sex and popping out babies willy nilly?
ChaimAmalek: Palestinian women in Gaza have the world’s highest birthrates. They use their birth canals as cannon, whereas most jewesses (and educated white women) use theirs as toys.
Chavi: I’d be glad to take this task on. If you promise to raise the little heathens and support them.
ElShaddai: Ok its a deal
ChaimAmalek: I want you to see your birth canal used as a gun, firing human projectiles into the future.
Chavi: Hrm
Chavi: Lol …
Chavi: I have one word for you, and that word is OUCH.
Chavi: Men have no idea!
Chavi: Oy
ElShaddai: I really like that phrase- using their birth canals as cannon. Is that original?
ChaimAmalek: If Palestinian women can do it, why not the Jewss?
ChaimAmalek: Yes, in fact it is original to me
ElShaddai: thats awesome
ChaimAmalek: My contributions to this site and its predecessors are legion
ElShaddai: I bet Luke uses that on his Blog
ChaimAmalek: As Luke will affirm
ChaimAmalek: He has
ElShaddai: I’m no stranger to your work
Chavi: Yawn.
ElShaddai: Lets talk about you again Chavi
ChaimAmalek: So Chavi, I suggest you start up a Chaim Amalek study group
ElShaddai: you are much more beautiful than myself or Chaim
ChaimAmalek: Of virtuous single women
YourMoralLeader: Let’s talk about God
ChaimAmalek: Offering them ampules of my mitzvatastic essence
Chavi: Mitzvatastic
Chavi: that’s a great word
ChaimAmalek: I coin many
Chavi: How many of you gentleman are married?
YourMoralLeader: lol
ChaimAmalek: I am married to my faith
Chavi: You must be a priest, Chaim
Chavi: Or a nun
Chavi: Or the Pope
ChaimAmalek: I would do a nun if she were hot
Chavi: Or a unich?
ElShaddai: none of us are gentlemen
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ChaimAmalek: It is true, I am not that "big"
ChaimAmalek: But it all works.
ChaimAmalek: How torah-centric are the Jews of Hyde Park?
ChaimAmalek: Do they all read the NY Times on Sunday and listen to Extension 720 on WGN?
Chavi: I haven’t a clue … as I only work here
Chavi: I come, I work, I leave
ChaimAmalek: You live in Lakeview
Chavi: Yes
Chavi: And the Jews there?
ChaimAmalek: Near uptown?
ChaimAmalek: where is there?
Chavi: Lakeview is incredibly Jewish
Chavi: There’s a reform, conservative and mod. orthodox shul in the area
Chavi: And you?
ChaimAmalek: upper west side of manhattan
ChaimAmalek: There are Jews here
Chavi: Of course there are
ChaimAmalek: I see them, pulling strings
ChaimAmalek: Running banks, TV networks, and oppressing me
ElShaddai: Manhattan has Jews?
Chavi: Running the world, no less
ChaimAmalek: The real ones are in Brooklyn, Borrough Park
ChaimAmalek: And Williamsburg
ChaimAmalek: Where they wear those funny hats
ChaimAmalek: I might get myself a Felty Hat
ChaimAmalek: a stroimel
Chavi: Black Hat jews, eh?
ChaimAmalek: There is a special code, "black hat" does not begin to cover it.
ElShaddai: thats a ska group isnt it?
ChaimAmalek: Jews are not allowed to listen to ska music.
ChaimAmalek: Because it can lead to mixed danicng
Chavi: This is not Footloose
ElShaddai: there can be no propogation without dancing and fornication
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, do you drive to get around Chicago?
ElShaddai: Chavi have you ever been thrown out of a shul?
ElShaddai: Have you been thrown out of TWO shuls?
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, what does it feel like to be a human ovum in a chat room, with every male (sperm) vying for your attention?
ChaimAmalek: ANSWER ME!
ChaimAmalek: PLEASE?
Chavi: D’oh
Chavi: Sorry
ElShaddai: when it comes to vying for attention chavi stands no chance against our Levi
ChaimAmalek: Levi is a Jew’s Jew.
Chavi: No, I don’t drive (no car); never been thrown outta shul; nor two shuls; and I LOVE the attention
ElShaddai: haha
Chavi: Obviously you’re not doing a very good job keeping my attention 🙂
ChaimAmalek: sorry, what did you say?
Chavi: Oh you are *too* funny
ChaimAmalek: I am busy chatting with supermodels on another channel
ElShaddai: Chavi have you ever been threatened with violence by your Rabbi?
Chavi: Lol … no ElShaddai …
ChaimAmalek: Has a rabbi ever come on to you?
ChaimAmalek: What about a rebbetzin?
Chavi: Nope
ChaimAmalek: Judaism needs to sexualize itself
Chavi: Judaism is very sexual
ElShaddai: has a rabbi ever come in you?
Chavi: Sex on Shabbos is a mitzvah!
ChaimAmalek: More fornication, less frumkeit
Chavi: With, you konw, your spouse
ChaimAmalek: if there is a spouse, yes
Chavi: ElShaddai — my gosh
Chavi: Wow
ElShaddai: I’m sorry was it something I said?
Chavi: You’re lucky I take after my mother
Chavi: Who is a gigantic pervert
Chavi: But really, I’m a lady
ChaimAmalek: I don’t hold by this perversion talk
ElShaddai: I was looking at your photo on Lukes site
ChaimAmalek: I speak of procreation, not perversion
ChaimAmalek: Whose photo?
ElShaddai: Chavis
Chavi: There’s a photo of me on Luke’s site?
Chavi: How long has this whole operation been going down?
ElShaddai: Chavi if you are just now learning about Luke/Levi you have quite a shock in front of you
ChaimAmalek: What if the rabbis of LA find out about your shiksa infatuation?
Chavi: This webcam/live chat issue
YourMoralLeader: about 6 weeks
Chavi: HA!
ChaimAmalek: I don’t have a link yet, and I’ve been here for years
Chavi: You don’t have womanly bits, Chaim
ChaimAmalek: Some say that I am Luke Ford
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, you can’t know
ChaimAmalek: But you are right.
Chavi: Is this like an "I am Spartacus" moment, Chaim?
Chavi: You have a fun laugh!
ChaimAmalek: Yes
ChaimAmalek: I am the real Jew of this board.
ChaimAmalek: The only born Jewish male here
ChaimAmalek: I, not Luke, was initiated into the faith by learning to read the Torah backwards
Chavi: "real Jew" — that business irritates me
ChaimAmalek: Luke, Chavi might feel alone in here and put upon.
ChaimAmalek: Maybe Emma wants to join in
ElShaddai: I’m going to be kind to Chavi going forward
YourMoralLeader: Rum is gone for a month with the mrs
ChaimAmalek: Thailand?
YourMoralLeader: yes
DesmondFordJewishSoul: I decided to come out of the closet. I am going to follow the example of my holy son and become Jewish.
FEELtheFORCEluke: i am just me
User guest31 left the room.
ChaimAmalek: The Holy Father is visiting a hoity toity temple this evening
ChaimAmalek: If I had the sort of $$$$$ needed to hang out with those people, likely I would not be in a chat room
DesmondFordJewishSoul: I decided if the Pope could become Jewish. Why not me?
Chavi: ?
ChaimAmalek: Temple Bnai Kesef
User guest33 (69.209.99.236) entered the room.
FEELtheFORCEluke: you look a happy soul yml
ChaimAmalek: I know the origin of that joy
Chavi: I’m just going to sit here quietly for a few minutes.
ChaimAmalek: Careful study of the sacred texts
FEELtheFORCEluke: i dont believe that
ElShaddai: Levi bought Torah as Books on Tape
DesmondFordJewishSoul: Where is Emma today?
ChaimAmalek: How long do you suppose this web cam will exist?
ChaimAmalek: What is your next planned step for riches?
FEELtheFORCEluke: how long is a piece of string
ChaimAmalek: What’s your next book?
Chavi: Who *are* all these people!?
FEELtheFORCEluke: i am me
ChaimAmalek: I have told Luke to write a book "How to Date Beautiful Women and Have Sex with them in LA on $15/day"
ChaimAmalek: It would sell like hotcakes, and that’s no joke
FEELtheFORCEluke: sex always sells
ElShaddai: Chavi what do you mean "who are all these people?"
ChaimAmalek: Yeah, who are these people?
Chavi: I’m just curious how people end up here, how they find this site and such
Chavi: Or are all of you "regulars"
FEELtheFORCEluke: i have been on this site for 2 years now
ChaimAmalek: I found if off a link on the old National Alliance web site
User DesmondFordJewishSoul changed their name to RonaldMcDonald.
ElShaddai: some of us come for exercise tips
ChaimAmalek: The late Dr. William Pierce suggested it to me
ElShaddai: some for moral leadership
ElShaddai: some for romance
ChaimAmalek: I used to think that Luke would help me out where Craigslist failed me, but no such luck
ElShaddai: I learned about it from an old usenet list
Chavi: Interesting. Man I got really sleepy … I came here because a friend said there was this COOL convert guy on the interwebs
ChaimAmalek: That’s what Eliot Spitzer said
ChaimAmalek: Luke, you could be writing books that sell, make money, and let you move on to other projects more esoteric.
ChaimAmalek: But he NEVER LISTENS to my GOOD ADVICE
ElShaddai: so you couldnt find that cool convert and wound up here?
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, what Luke needs is a good Chinese wife to whip him forward
Chavi: He could shoot for an Indian wife
Chavi: they have Jews in India
ChaimAmalek: Yes, that would work too
ChaimAmalek: What do they look like?
ChaimAmalek: Light, dark?
ChaimAmalek: Did they intermarry?
Chavi: I don’t know!
ChaimAmalek: I find that light skinned Jewesses shun swarthy looking jews like me
ElShaddai: swarthy?
Chavi: So what you’re saying is that I should, by pattern, shun you
Chavi: I can handle that
ChaimAmalek: I can take it
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, are you familiar with the sad tale of Lauren Winner?
ChaimAmalek: She was Jewish, until she had a dream, and then she jumped ship
Chavi: Alas, I am not
ChaimAmalek: Then I am guilty of semantic pollution
ChaimAmalek: Forget what I asked
FEELtheFORCEluke: ewwwwwww that sounds messy
ChaimAmalek: I am guilty of much sematic pollution
ChaimAmalek: Especially through this site
ChaimAmalek: Park Avenue Synagogue – that’s where the Pope is headed this evening. Man, I wish I had that kind of dough
Crikey: ur lookin more like Moses every day
Moses: don’t insult me like that
Chavi: Moses!
ChaimAmalek: No, he looks like a Greek Orthodox monk
Crikey: oh sorry didnt know the real one was present
Moses: orthodox monks have longer beards
Chavi: There’s lots of Aussie love here
ChaimAmalek: His is getting there
Moses: he needs another three years
ChaimAmalek: I love those Aussie models, too.
ChaimAmalek: Whatsername and whatshername
Moses: heston and i were talking about this last night
Moses: he finally came home to rest last week
ChaimAmalek: I just read a great book about the Pacific Theater during WW2 – "Retribution" byt the historian Max Hastings
Crikey: any good?
ChaimAmalek: He says that in the latter stages of the war, the Australians totally let down the side
ChaimAmalek: Fantastic
Crikey: well what u expect
ChaimAmalek: As was "Armageddon", about the last months of the 3rd Reich
YourMoralLeader: ye;
ChaimAmalek: REally, both books are great and worth reading.
YourMoralLeader: the only books i have time to read these days,a side from torah, is how to make $$$ online
ChaimAmalek: The Japanese were spectacularly brutal
ChaimAmalek: No wonder everyone in East Asia hates them
ChaimAmalek: Yet today they are a nice people.
ChaimAmalek: Sustained bombing and nuclear attack can do that to a people.
Chavi: You’ve driven YML away
ChaimAmalek: It was his bladder that drove him away
Crikey: prob. wacking off
Chavi: You have a good sense of what Chaim does when he’s away from the cam, Chaim?
ChaimAmalek: I don’t quite understand your question
Chavi: You seemed quite sure he’d gone to the pisser, is what I mean.
ChaimAmalek: Yes, he and I are as close as lips and teeth
ChaimAmalek: Some say we are one
Chavi: And for those with dentures?
ChaimAmalek: Some say he is someone I hired to be me
ChaimAmalek: All lashon horah
Crikey: u know where the urban society of hamsters and beaver proliferate?
ChaimAmalek: Let’s sing a song
Moses: obviously the boy did not clean the hovel for passover
Chavi: Make it simple
Chavi: To last the whole night long?
ChaimAmalek: The Internationale
ChaimAmalek: Arise, ye victims of oppression
ChaimAmalek: For the empire fears your might
ChaimAmalek: Don’t cling so hard to your possesions
ChaimAmalek: For you have nothing if you have no rights
ChaimAmalek: Let racist ignorance be ended, for respect makes the empires fall
User guest38 left the room.
User ChaimAmalek changed their name to guest124.
ElShaddai: chavi its a safe bet he’s gone to the can- thats the only other room in his hovel
Crikey: lol
Chavi: Ahh. So it’s a studio, nu?
ElShaddai: he lives in a converted garage
guest124: Luke, how’s the air ventilation in that apartment?
YourMoralLeader: lol
Chavi: Ha
YourMoralLeader: excellent
guest124: Nothing is far from your toilet
guest40: shalom
YourMoralLeader: I don’t have much of a sense of smell
YourMoralLeader: Shalom 40
Chavi: Assuming the toilet is your mouth.
guest40: shalom Rabbi
Crikey: that wasn’t half bad for an____ u fill in the blanks
Moses: i can see there’s no sweeping moral change going on here
1giantvagina: Moish, want change, go part the sea
Moses: what in the psalms are we looking at anyway?
1giantvagina: the moral change can only be done by the ML
1giantvagina: he is busy now
Moses: busy …as in trying to finally find a job that pays money?
Moses: or …busy as in taking a nap on the floor of that filthy hovel?
1giantvagina: yeah, but first he has to tan that white ass of his so they’ll hire him
Moses: i know a burning bush where he can get that tan…and a lot more
1giantvagina: I wouldn’t now about such things
1giantvagina: Testy, I’m still waiting on you
Moses: honestly, i didn’t know what that was until it turned over
1giantvagina: you’re not so giant anymore
1giantvagina: he needs to be turned every 15 minutes or so
1giantvagina: least he become well done
Moses: i thought it was a baleen whale surfacing for air
YourMoralSchvartze: ths is hysterical
YourMoralSchvartze: why am i so morbidly attracted to this guy’s world?
Moses: the same reason people rubberneck at traffic accidents
Moses: good god! LOOK AT THOSE MOOBS!
Moses: for adam’s sake, man….get out the snapple bottles fast
Moses: i don’t see any change in skin color
andy: hows it goin luke
YourMoralSchvartze: who was that luke
andy: im fine thanks luke
Moses: luke, if you rub some lemon juice on that beard, you’ll start to look like zztop
YourMoralSchvartze: luke you look lost
YourMoralSchvartze: you look asleep at the wheel of life
Moses: then you can sing ‘jesus just left chicago’ to emma all night
Moses: it’s a nice little bluesy song emma, good for a rainy day
Emma: Indeed
YourMoralSchvartze: why is he staring into space?
YourMoralLeader: Emma, is love a flower?
Emma: brb phonecall
YourMoralLeader: is it a river?
Emma: Yes
Pharaoh: No Moses, I will not let your people go.
Moses: luke, have you ever been to colorado?
guest56: The Leader does not leave his kibbutz in California
Moses: god took some extra time in making it…you should go and visit
Moses: they hovel will still be here when you get back
Moses: pick up a map from debbie schwartz
guest56: Was it for this that you spoke to the burning bush?
Moses: ya gotta clean the whole barrel my friend, not just the easy-to-reach places
nanostep: chatting on a web cam all morning is not work!
guest613: he’s not just chatting, he’s turning into a chat cam singer
nanostep: I notice that LukeFord.net is on the lightside post-wise
nanostep: i don’t have audio on my computer, but karaoke is also not work
nanostep: ahem, singing
nanostep: for your supper
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: john denver is going to make a guest appearance
guest613: I wonder if he will dance too?
QuixoticLass: except that he’s dead
YourMoralLeader: Emma, are you California Dreaming?
QuixoticLass: John Denver died in a plane crash
Emma: Yep
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: welll…..thats gonna be creepy then
nanostep: is there any journalism happening
nanostep: where are all of the serious journalists??
guest613: is this flashback to the 60’s?
nanostep: that shirt you are wearing is not becoming.
guest613: how about both sides now?
QuixoticLass: this song was more poignant when I didn’t live in CA
nanostep: i I prefer the black suit
QuixoticLass: he does look good in black
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: boxers or briefs?
QuixoticLass: just wait til he changes his pants, you can see for yourself
guest613: is luke turning into a chabadnik? he looks like he’s going that way.
QuixoticLass: mr rogers changed his shoes, YML changes his pants
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: chabadnik sounds like something you might go to the doctor to have treated
QuixoticLass: that’s a good idea john
guest613: wonder what drug cures you of chabadnikitis?
nanostep: you have three hours left until Shabbat. What do you hope to accomplish before then??
guest62: Why do you want to be a moral leader Luke?
guest63: don’t disrespect the leader 62
guest613: peter, paul and mary night
guest613: where’s puff?
guest63: leavin on a jet plane
guest62: Leaders earn respect 63
guest613: our king left us — oh no!
guest613: he left to visit his royal thrown
YourMoralLeader: 62, piss off bloody peasant
Alexanderthegreat: but the great one is still among you
guest63: The Leaders should not lower himself to commune with the rabble
Emma: lmao!
YourMoralLeader: I only ask that you obey me!
guest63: The same rabble that chose Barabbas!
YourMoralLeader: We made a covenant!
guest63: To save tax?
guest63: I do that too
guest63: O noble leader!
YourMoralLeader: yes my child
guest63: Show us the way!
guest62: Sorry been away for a comfort break rather like leader who seems to be only human himself
guest613: he’s going to tell you to look into his eyes.
Alexanderthegreat: —————–> that way
YourMoralLeader: peasants!
guest63: 62 you offend the leader
guest62: I only look into the eyes of females
User guest66 changed their name to patrick.
Emma: Patrick?
guest613: the way of what though?
Emma: Hey!!
guest613: I look and see nothing. . .
guest63: 62 go home to your wife
patrick: hay si
guest62: Who says I have or need a wife
Emma: Did you get my emails?
guest63: shame on you 62
patrick: yes
guest62: Why?
Emma: Luke meet my brother Patrick
Emma: 🙂
guest63: you deny your own wife
YourMoralLeader: No emails Emma
YourMoralLeader: Hey Patrick
Alexanderthegreat: hi patrick
guest613: 62, maybe you would want to be like Rebbe Gafni. he says you should divorce you wife after a few years and find anot
patrick: but kind dont under stand how to set up the google ad word thing
guest62: Do you need another person to give your own lifw meaning?
guest62: I have no idea what a goy is please explain
guest63: a non-jew
YourMoralLeader: Emma, email me your mailing address and I’ll send Patrick some CDs with more info
YourMoralLeader: snail mail
guest62: I am not a jew why does that matter? are you?
Emma: Snal mail?
guest63: I only ask for information
YourMoralLeader: regular postal mail
patrick: im so sorru luke i just dont get in kinda goes over my head
Emma: I only have hotmail and yahoo
guest63: Hail to the Leader !
guest62: We are all equall before God are we not?
guest63: no
YourMoralLeader: Where do you get regular mail? with a stamp Emma?
guest63: some are chosen
guest62: Yoy may not be I am
Emma: Oh
mee: hi luke x
Emma: My home address?
YourMoralLeader: whatever works emma
guest63: Bow down before The Leader !
YourMoralLeader: sheesh, who knew it would be so complicated
guest613: bow down????
guest62: Leader how much do you pay 63?
guest63: yes – show respect
guest62: I want to know how much
guest63: go home to your wife
patrick: im back
guest62: You seem to have a problem with this wife thing
guest613: is it a mitzvah to bow down to our leader?
Emma: I just didn’t get you
YourMoralLeader: lol
guest63: yes it is 613
patrick: luke u mind me asking u some thing
Emma: Snail mail lol!
YourMoralLeader: go ahead patrick
guest613: how many mitzvah points do we get
guest63: The Leader tolerates your foolishness
guest63: The Leader is patient
guest62: So it seems
guest63: The Leader sees all
guest62: No he does not I don’t have a cam
guest63: 62 was it for this that Moses broke the tablets of stone?
guest613: 62 he can see you without a cam. All you need to do is look into his eyes
frodo: strange very strange
guest62: NO he was pissed off with the jews for worshiping idols
guest63: do not look directly at the leader
frodo: well that made him laugh
guest71: nice jesus look you got coming on there
guest71: give it a few more weeks and you’ll be ready to crucify
frodo: camstreams is his land
guest71: tragic loss to the world of moral leadership eh
guest613: you made my day. You must be the one and only. . .
guest63: the rattle of empty heads
guest71: respect for what, or to whom 63?
guest63: silence the Leader may wish to speak
guest613: can you sing it too?
guest71: what do you think he will say 63?
guest63: fall on your knees before the leader
guest71: what pearls of wisdom do you suppose he might impart?
guest613: I was lost and now I’m found. Who knew the magic of puff and Luke
guest63: The Leader will not be pressured
guest613: so 63 belongs in Temple Beth Ignore.
guest71: hence why I don’t come here much, unless I am in need of a good s**t and I need inspiration
guest63: blasphemers
guest63: infidels
frodo: yeah yeah we will all burn in hell
guest613: everyone, silence our leader is singing about the magic of puff
guest63: shame on you all
guest63: Hail to the Leader – Lion of the desert
frodo: no wonder luke keeps laughin then ehh
guest71: to see such intellect backing the lower echelons of their own…..I find it somewhat comforting
guest613: 63, our leader is speaking the words of the one and only, the master of the universe
guest63: Frodo there are more things here than in all your abuse
guest71: kinda tells me that however dumb a c**t you may encounter, there’s always a dumber one around the corner
guest613: what about blowing in the wind?
guest63: The Leader is gracious enough to laugh at your obscenities
guest71: either that, or he don’t f**king understand them 63
frodo: does he laugh at yours too
guest63: show gratitude
guest613: wow our leader is amazing
guest71: has this dazzling concept occurred to you by chance?
guest63: anyhow I have a business to run
guest613: he knows where the answers are. ..
guest613: it’s not just about looking into his eyes
frodo: wow that suprises me
guest63: I cannot waste more time on these goyims
guest613: wow, a pesach song — blowing in the wind
guest63: The writer of that song is a jew
guest63: shoe respect
guest613: the writer of the song wrote it knowing some day our leader would play and sing it to us.
guest63: Enough of your empty prattle
guest613: wow, now I understand the universe — our leader spoke the truth
