Category Archives: Chaim Amalek

Chaim Amalek Needs 10 Wives

Chaim Amalek writes: Careful analysis using linear and non-linear methods indicates that I should have about 10 wives. A rotating group of say, three for sex; one to serve as advisor; two for procreation; one for her money, and two … Continue reading

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Are you reading too many books by straight white men?

Chaim Amalek writes: Reading this article (in part) led me to a new acronym that all of you should learn, as the ***** who control our culture are certain to seize upon it: “QUILTBAG- QUILTBAG is an acronym. It stands … Continue reading

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Who is Today’s Gadol Hador?

The Guardian of Israel never slumbers nor sleeps. Chaim Amalek: The Eye is ever watchful. There is concern here that never sleeps. When Moshiach comes, “American Idol” will be changed to “Who is Today’s Gadol Hador?” * A BT Jewess … Continue reading

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A Jew’s Best Friend Is His Rebbe

Chaim Amalek writes: When Moshiach comes, every goy will strive to be friends with every Jew, and you will have more goy friends than you can shake a lulav at. Of course, Yidden will know that a goy can never … Continue reading

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Fair Play For Amalek!

Let’s make this a hate-free Purim. Chaim Amalek says: Are you going to attend a Purim party this year? I suggest you use it as cover and agitate for fair play for Haman and his followers. Just say no to … Continue reading

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Amalek’s Regret

Chaim Amalek writes: My New Regret in Life: That I never had sex with a shiksa of suitable intellectual merit and then asked her, post-coitally, “Yes, you enjoyed it, but was it good for the Jews?”

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The Problem With Hollywood

Chaim Amalek writes: I realize that practically none of your readers is a born Jew with the benefit of many years of proper hebrew school education, so for their benefit, I am going to spill the beans and give you … Continue reading

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Hollywood Gedolim!

Chaim Amalek writes: “HOLLYWOOD GEDOLIM! Just think how much less expensive it would have been for all concerned had the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts found a place for one more student a century ago, a lad from Linz. A … Continue reading

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What makes New York the greatest city?

Why do New Yorkers keep repeating this publicly? On what objective basis is this true? What’s the insecurity underlying such a proclamation? People who say weird, unnecessary and untrue things are coming from a broken place. If New Yorkers were … Continue reading

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The Future Mrs Ford

Chaim Amalek emails: Luke is feeling a bit under the weather. This is the time for those fertile young women who think they have what it takes to be the future Mrs. Luke Ford to step up and show Luke … Continue reading

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