I was at a Torah lecture the other day and I saw a sage sucking on a lollipop (it’s the best way to enjoy sugar without putting on weight) and it disturbed me. It didn’t seem right. Until that moment, I did not realize that I’d feel jarred by such a sight, but I did.
It just does not befit the honor of the Torah.
I’m not sure I want my Torah sages chewing gum either.
Maybe I’m too sensitive.
"It’s never been hipper to be Jewish." –VH1
Cool Jew does for gefilte fish and matzah balls what the Preppy Handbook did for plaid and polo–only with much more chutzpah.
Cool Jew covers everything Hebraic from womb to tomb, finally putting an end to Christmas tree envy. Short essays, lists, instructional guides, photographs, and original illustrations celebrate Jewish cultural pride with love, enthusiasm, and irreverence.
Entries ranging from "Heebonics for the Yiddish Impaired" to "Self-Help for the Christmas Carole Intolerant" provide the long-awaited Jewish response to that WASP manual of the ’80s, The Preppy Handbook.
In addition to cultural hilarity, Cool Jew features resourceful back-of-the-book material, including "People of Da Book" (authoritative texts on Jewish concepts and culture), the "Heebster Jewke Box" (tunes that rock the Heebster vibe), and the "Tribe Online" (an extensive listing of Jewish Web resources).
About the Author
Lisa Alcalay Klug is a former staff writer for the Associated Press and the Los Angeles Times. An award-winning freelance journalist, she works as a stringer for the New York Times and contributes to the San Francisco Chronicle, Forward, Jerusalem Post, and many other publications. She divides her time among California, New York, and Jerusalem.
I’m told: Gadi Pickholz’s is distorting the facts. The audacity to twist the story around!
– Rabbi Abner Weiss had affairs with married women in his congregation prior to Yuli Aranowitz.
We knew and did nothing because we did not want to hurt Shifra’s feelings. We also did not want to break up the marriage.
– He was very bold about it, almost asking to be stopped.
– Shifra says that when she was served divorce papers, she was surprised and shocked. The woman had no clue.
– When Abner went to England, Shifra stayed behind for one year. They agreed that she will complete her tenure at L.A. Unified and retire. Lucky for her otherwise she would have lost not only a husband but her pension and health benefits, too.
– He came to visit her during that time and she thought it was her he came to see.
– At the end of the year as she was packing to leave, the divorce papers came. It hit her like a ton of bricks.
– We all gathered at the S’uddah Shishit before her trip. None of us knew what took place. She got up like a lady, then calmly and elegantly told us in a few words that she is not going to England and that they are getting divorced. You could have sliced the air with a knife. Some people even cried.
– I never heard her speak ill about the rabbi or Yuli. She quietly moved on.
– It seems to that the Beth Jacob membership never forgave the rabbi.
I liked the rabbi very much. I was very uncomfortable with his behavior during the last years at BJ. I got over it. He and Yuli have a right to be happy. If Shifra is OK and moved on, who am I to begrudge them? As a pulpit rabbi, he served the community well and had wonderful Drashot and political speeches. I missed him a lot during the present rabbinate leadership. I know that I am not the only one…
I get my phone, cable, and internet through Time Warner.
Their phone support sucks.
I sent off this: "How do I access my voice mail on my home phone when I am away from home? Also, about a third of the time, I have an unbelievable amount of static on my line. I’ve checked my phone, changed my phone, and nothing has changed. What should I do?"
I got back this:
Hello Luke,
For general instructions and information on how to use Time Warner
Digital Phone Voicemail, please visit our online documentation at the
following web site:
That would be fine except there is no page there. It’s a dead link they sent me.
Menachem emails: "Hi Luke, I understand that you are experiencing trouble accessing your voice mail. My family also has Time Warner. I must agree there phone support sucks as most of their service does. What I would recommend is to when you hear your message hit the asterisk (*) then follow the instruction I believe you have to hit your telephone access code."
RussianDragon: I MISSED YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO
YourMoralLeader: I wanna know what love is
YourMoralLeader: I wanna go where love is
RussianDragon: hug a horse
YourMoralLeader: I need someone to show me
Emma: I’ll show you Mr
YourMoralLeader: thank you
Rossi: thats was good
RussianDragon: pff all this flirting
RussianDragon: when are these 8 babies going to be born
ToTheSea: Look, you looking forward to engage in some legalisms this coming Sabbath? I sure am!
User guest52 left the room.
YourMoralLeader: first foreplay
Emma: lol
QuixoticLass: lol
RussianDragon: in front of all the followers?
YourMoralLeader: first tender words, then a hug and a kiss, then…chupa and shtuppa.
YourMoralLeader: in that order!
RussianDragon: jeez this is like a devils sabat
AlekseyFromRussia: Whats music???
ToTheSea: Is Chupan then Shtuppa the order as writen in the Shulcan Aruch?
QuixoticLass: if there’s no shtuppa before the chuppa how do you know it’s gonna work out?
YourMoralLeader: Yes, my faith in G-d tells me so
QuixoticLass: Yeah, I bought that one too, but it didn’t turn out so well.
YourMoralLeader: I respect Emma too much to do that.
RussianDragon: you lust
YourMoralLeader: she’s just a child
YourMoralLeader: innocent
Emma: right
RussianDragon: pffffff
Emma: lol i get the hint
YourMoralLeader: never been kissed
RussianDragon: yet you want 8 kids
RussianDragon: i don’t get it
YourMoralLeader: goyim wouldn’t
RussianDragon: i get horses better than people
AlekseyFromRussia: Heeh Are you from RussanDragon????
RussianDragon: ROAR
QuixoticLass: the no chuppa no shtuppa rule is the stupidest rule I ever followed in my entire life.
RussianDragon: I am the only russian dragon
RussianDragon: ROAR
RussianDragon: i eat jews from breakfast, lucnh and dinner
YourMoralLeader: no shtuppa till you were married lass?
YourMoralLeader: hehehe
RussianDragon: and as inbetween snacks too
RussianDragon: ROAR
YourMoralLeader: no premarital sex before marriage = fag
QuixoticLass: should have known better
RussianDragon: so you are = fag
QuixoticLass: hahaha
RussianDragon: ROAR
RussianDragon: you have too much lust in your heart luke
QuixoticLass: yes, a little lust goes a long way
YourMoralLedger: harpies arent necessarily ugly
YourMoralLedger: and harpies are beautiful on the inside
YourMoralLeader: Heath, is that you?
RussianDragon: she’s an easy lover
YourMoralLeader: All I need is a miracle
RussianDragon: She’ll get a hold on you believe it
RussianDragon: Before you know it you’ll be on your knees
RussianDragon: Shes an easy lover ….
QuixoticLass: who’ll be on their knees?
Emma: Its a song
YourMoralLeader: All I need is you
QuixoticLass: I know
QuixoticLass: phil collins
RussianDragon: Shell take your heart but you wont feel it
Emma: yeah
RussianDragon: Youll never get it
Emma: lol
cavaliera: hi luke
YourMoralLedger: Luke you have a tiny bit of balogna caught in your teeth
Emma: lol liar
RussianDragon: She will play around and leave you Leave you and deceive you
cavaliera: lol
RussianDragon: emma is that short for ennema?
QuixoticLass: ledger you have a tiny bit of balogna between your ears
User PontifexMaximus changed their name to ChaimAmalek.
RussianDragon: i was just wondering
Emma: No it’s short for emmahajauayhicia
QuixoticLass: hahaha
RussianDragon: aha
ChaimAmalek: Pay no heed to these generationally distant folk, giving you a hard time
QuixoticLass: yo chaim
RussianDragon: good i thought it wasn’t
User YourMoralLedger changed their name to MordyMermeltashen.
ChaimAmalek: Good evening/day depending on where you live
ChaimAmalek: And where are you people?
ChaimAmalek: We’ve got Ireland, New York, and LA
RussianDragon: i also didn’t think luke is short for puke
MordyMermeltashen: Emma are you over 12 yrs old?
ChaimAmalek: Anyone from the dusky lands of the third world here?
Emma: ppfffft
Emma: lmfao!
RussianDragon: yes she is fair game
RussianDragon: :p
MordyMermeltashen: great
Emma: im 100
RussianDragon: not for luke
RussianDragon: luke finds her a child
YourMoralLeader: gday mate chaim
MordyMermeltashen: 100 time seven, I am sure
RussianDragon: and innocent
ChaimAmalek: I’m so old that I am post-sexual
Emma: lol
cavaliera: lol
ChaimAmalek: Sex has about as much meaning to me as the trombone has to a lichen
QuixoticLass: god-forbid
RussianDragon: I am so post sexual that i’ve ^become pre sexual aagain
Emma: lol lass
cavaliera: lol wow
ChaimAmalek: Sex – just a means of conveying cooties
ChaimAmalek: I say don’t go there, girl
MordyMermeltashen: you have to stay in practice chaim
ChaimAmalek: My penis has shriveled up so far that it protrudes from my navel
QuixoticLass: without the transfer of cooties, life would not continue
Emma: lol
QuixoticLass: ok that’s just gross
ChaimAmalek: In fact, I may auction it off on ebay
cavaliera: lol
Emma: Nasty
YourMoralLeader: what about when I share those intimate photos of Emma with you? No response?
Emma: You better see someone about that Chaim
QuixoticLass: seriously
ChaimAmalek: I have not received any intimate photos of anyone in a coon’s age
cavaliera: wow emma!
cavaliera: lol
RussianDragon: luke’s penis is that small that he is technically having intercourse with himself
ChaimAmalek: I meant no racial insult by that
Emma: lol
QuixoticLass: oh if you want pictures like that, just post an ad on craigslist
ChaimAmalek: Done and done
QuixoticLass: you’ll get some lickety split
Emma: hahahaha
MordyMermeltashen: how was the wallaby Luke? Did it whimper in your ear softly?
ChaimAmalek: I"m tapped out even on Craigslist, and there is nothing in life lower than looking for a woman on Craigslist
ChaimAmalek: Except maybe looking for a woman and accepting a man
ChaimAmalek: But I don’t play that way
RussianDragon: whatabout looking for a girl on luke ford
User guest61 left the room.
RussianDragon: that’s even lower, no?
cavaliera: lol
ChaimAmalek: When I first encountered Luke, I had two notions of how he could help in that regard
ChaimAmalek: But
MordyMermeltashen: Luke won’t allow love connections to be made on lukeford
MordyMermeltashen: he wants all the women for himself
ChaimAmalek: 1. he refused to serve as a pimp, procuring p*rn women for me
RussianDragon: yes true
YourMoralLeader: I get the right of the first night.
ChaimAmalek: And then he refused to apply himself in ways that might have won him and me fame and thus money and sex
RussianDragon: real cult leader typical traits
MordyMermeltashen: but after that one night with you luke, they are foirever ruined
MordyMermeltashen: soiled
MordyMermeltashen: like cracked eggs
ChaimAmalek: I think Luke might be a good fit for a virgin
Emma: lol
QuixoticLass: heh
cavaliera: lol
RussianDragon: give onto me all thy young girls and wives
ChaimAmalek: Luke with a mother would be like a snake crawling into a cave, and demanding to fight a bear
ChaimAmalek: Me, I’m loaded for bear, but it seems that they have gone extinct
ChaimAmalek: I give luke this much – dollar for dollar, he is the most successful man I’ve ever encountered
RussianDragon: i knew it
RussianDragon: luke = a poof
ChaimAmalek: His ability to charm women from his position in life astonishes me
MordyMermeltashen: hahaha indeed- dollar for dollar he is
RussianDragon: a real rectal rooter
MordyMermeltashen: his act wouldnt fly if he was still downu under
ChaimAmalek: If Luke wrote a book about this – "The Poor Man’s Guide to Getting Laid in LA" I and many other men would buy it
MordyMermeltashen: The australian authorities would box his ears and make him take a proper job
RussianDragon: now i know why he says he is from ‘down under’
Emma: lmao
QuixoticLass: hahaha
cavaliera: wow, alot of men here tonight!
Emma: !!!
ChaimAmalek: This is the internet
RussianDragon: too many
RussianDragon: men
ChaimAmalek: There are no real women on the internet
cavaliera: who loves to hear their own voices …lol lol
Emma: lol oooooooo
ChaimAmalek: Even this "Emma" could well be a trannie
QuixoticLass: speak for yourself chaim
ChaimAmalek: Luke, have you ever heard "her" voice?
Emma: exactley
Emma: lol
RussianDragon: oooooooooh ni
cavaliera: exept her…lol
MordyMermeltashen: RussianDragon is a woman
RussianDragon: nooooooooooooooooooo
RussianDragon: NOT EMMA
RussianDragon: plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
cavaliera: ok
ChaimAmalek: Quixoticlass, I have no idea who you are either
Emma: no lol
MordyMermeltashen: a woman with a filthy mouth
RussianDragon: i could be
Emma: IM ALL WOMEN
YourMoralLeader: I’ve earned $3:90 today from adsense
ChaimAmalek: I am functionally female
QuixoticLass: haha
Emma: woman
ChaimAmalek: I care
cavaliera: lol
ChaimAmalek: I support liberal democrats
MordyMermeltashen: flash that cash luke
MordyMermeltashen: show us your 3.90
Emma: lol!
MordyMermeltashen: like the gangstas
RussianDragon: i support the women on luke ford
cavaliera: all say what gender they are plz! lol
ChaimAmalek: How many Viagra will $3.90 buy?
RussianDragon: the real ones
QuixoticLass: 1
MordyMermeltashen: .75 tablets
Emma: lol
cavaliera: woman
ChaimAmalek: Not even one, unless you buy them from the hindus
RussianDragon: trannies don’t count
RussianDragon: nor does luke
ChaimAmalek: You who purport to be female, provide me with proof.
MordyMermeltashen: luke is flush this month thanks to the generosity of guest 117
RussianDragon: no broke back lukes
ChaimAmalek: WHO is guest 117?
QuixoticLass: proof online? can’t be done
MordyMermeltashen: a generous man of means, clearly
Emma: mmm
ChaimAmalek: Is this yet another plot by the House of Saud to coopt everyone and embarrass the Jews?
YourMoralLeader: I vouch for Lass’s feminity
QuixoticLass: ty
cavaliera: loooooool
ChaimAmalek: Here in New York our trannies are very convincing
ChaimAmalek: My penis has now withdrawn so far I can fell it crawling up my throat
QuixoticLass: wow that’s even grosser than your last comment about your member
cavaliera: hahahahaha
ChaimAmalek: "For members only"
User guest67 left the room.
HamanHater: i have a members only jacket
Rossi: where is here moral?
HamanHater: i put it on for this song
ChaimAmalek: This is the music they play in preop places
ChaimAmalek: I am too moral for my own good
ChaimAmalek: Why isn’t it fun to stay at the YMHA?
cavaliera: lol
ChaimAmalek: It’s fun to be at the Jcc
cavaliera: i go to bed now
cavaliera: bye all xxxx
ChaimAmalek: its fun to be at the JayyyyCCCCCCC
Emma: Goodnight
ChaimAmalek: gnight
HamanHater: goodnight sweet emma
ChaimAmalek: I say all of you are trannies
HamanHater: dream of me fondly
cavaliera: night
QuixoticLass: my boss just handed me an article "The Missing Piece: Why finding a Jewish husband is no cakewalk"
ChaimAmalek: PROVE ME WRONG
cavaliera: i will haman
cavaliera: 🙂
Emma: lol
ChaimAmalek: I can help any Jewish woman find a Jewish husband
cavaliera: bye luke
cavaliera: see you
ChaimAmalek: But she must be willing to share
ChaimAmalek: Jewish men should be paired off with large black women
QuixoticLass: pilagesh? no thanks
Donnag: hi how r u today well this evening in scotland
ChaimAmalek: Jewish women do not need to be paired off with Jewish men to have Jewish children
chihuahua: hi
ChaimAmalek: In the interest of hybrid vigor, I favor: Black women with Asian men, and Jewish women with black men
ChaimAmalek: Create a super-race that can fight with fist and tongue
QuixoticLass: met a jewish black man recently
ChaimAmalek: I am proud to say that I have always hated Maddonno from Bay Ridge Michigan
chihuahua: hows the moral leader tonight
ChaimAmalek: A black Jewish man is possibly the natural ruler of the world
ChaimAmalek: If only Obama were Baruch Hassid Ovadia
QuixoticLass: hahaha
QuixoticLass: indeed
ChaimAmalek: With a Jewish wife
ChaimAmalek: Luke, please play some decent music
HamanHater: chihuahua are you like the taco bell dog
ChaimAmalek: Emma, you are the glue that holds us here
Emma: No Luke is
alexanderthegreat: hey luke
ChaimAmalek: We so seldom get to have social intercourse with a young woman like you
TikkunHaolam: Luke why do you look so dissheveled? It’s not a sin to *iron*
ChaimAmalek: I have seen this before – Emma leaves, and then in fifteen minutes it is just Luke and me
chihuahua: he looks great
HamanHater: he davened hard earlier to the beats of the Village People
HamanHater: and got rumpled
alexanderthegreat: had a good day emma ?
User guest73 changed their name to KellyErikson.
alexanderthegreat: studying again were you
ChaimAmalek: Who is Kelly Erikson?
YourMoralLeader: hot chick
KellyErikson: Hi Luke
YourMoralLeader: how’s the baby?
User guest69 left the room.
User ChaimAmalek changed their name to HotYoungBabe.
moshe: luke, don’t preach!
HamanHater: too busy study
HamanHater: too busy studying Torah to iron? pffft… to busy stroking your ego with this webcam more like it.
HamanHater: Luke your sin is ego
KellyErikson: Excellent. Second one is on the way.
YourMoralLeader: mazal tov!
YourMoralLeader: how’s anthony?
HotYoungBabe: I’d like to see you grow that bead until it is big enough to hide a cam
KellyErikson: Busy
HotYoungBabe: Beard cam
chihuahua: no
guest72: let he who is without sin
HamanHater: Hi hotyoungbabe how are you?
chihuahua: shave it off
HotYoungBabe: hot young babes like me dig cams
HotYoungBabe: We adore older Jewish men
HotYoungBabe: in fact, the older the better!
TikkunHaolam: Luke, How does staring at a webcam all day make the world better?
HotYoungBabe: I get all ….you know….when I watch Larry King Live
YourMoralLeader: what’s the gematria of cam?
HotYoungBabe: cam = Mac
HotYoungBabe: as in "Mac Daddy"
HotYoungBabe: I love my mac daddy Luke
KellyErikson: Do you make money from this new site?
KellyErikson: I heard Lukeford was up for sale again.
HamanHater: kelly- 3.90 today alone!
HotYoungBabe: I have started a new business: "Gadol Escorts"
chihuahua: wow lol
HotYoungBabe: We cater to only the big shots
QuixoticLass: haha
chihuahua: go in chat roms hot babe
YourMoralLeader: kelly, really?
YourMoralLeader: how much for lukeford.com?
User guest77 left the room.
User guest76 left the room.
chihuahua: this is too civilised for you lol
QuixoticLass: hey YML I was just going to ask you how long it takes you to get to work 🙂
chihuahua: now wheres he gone
TikkunHaolam: OMG – stripping!!!!
TikkunHaolam: I usually have to pay for this
KellyErikson: I believe a few K
HamanHater: Quix…"work" thats a good one!
HamanHater: lol
alexanderthegreat: turning away
chihuahua: me too lol
Emma: lol
QuixoticLass: he’s my employee
TikkunHaolam: turning towards toilet
QuixoticLass: and he works hard for the money
alexanderthegreat: can u see his bed
QuixoticLass: believe me
chihuahua: his room looks like a bomb site
HotYoungBabe: The cover story on the May 2008 Atlantic Monthly: "Is Israel Finished?" by Jeffrey Goldberg
TikkunHaolam: Is that your bed, or your dog’s?
chihuahua: dogs lol
chihuahua: he’s dancing
HamanHater: 90% of serial killers wear sweatpants
chihuahua: oh no look away lol
QuixoticLass: haha
TikkunHaolam: how can he stop himself, with those awesome Kabbalah-friendly beats
alexanderthegreat: and the other 10% ?
HamanHater: i bet he wears Teva sandals
alexanderthegreat: we were all looking away luke
KellyErikson: I feel like I’m back in the 80’s
chihuahua: he’s preaching like the song lol
HamanHater: the dynamic between Luke and his fans is frightening. Its like NASCAR stars and their fans is the closest thing I can think of
alexanderthegreat: this is a long bloody song
TikkunHaolam: apt analogy. We’re also desperate for a crash
HamanHater: whens the official Hovel Merchandise come out?
TikkunHaolam: Luke, if you’re willing to kill yourself at a specific time, I think I can drive a lot of traffic to this site. Really.
HamanHater: imagine those skullcaps with a lukeford logo on them
HamanHater: they’d sell like bagels
Emma: I’m off everyone
QuixoticLass: bye emma
alexanderthegreat: ahh
chihuahua: bye emma
Emma: Bye bye all… take care
alexanderthegreat: nite emma
TikkunHaolam: bye Emma!
TikkunHaolam: whomever you are
Emma: night night!!!
alexanderthegreat: sweet dreams
TikkunHaolam: gesundheit
HamanHater: well if emmas gone it all seems pointless
QuixoticLass: look he got all dressed up to come and see me
HamanHater: I’m SURE Luke just has skads of work he needs to do
alexanderthegreat: sois luke
HotYoungBabe: As I said, no emma, no chat room
TikkunHaolam: I’m off Luke, but I will be back as soon as I need to feel successful in my own life.
QuixoticLass: oh that’s not nice
QuixoticLass: how can you repair the world with that atitude?
TikkunHaolam: well, I think the world would be much better without Luke, for a start
QuixoticLass: but what would you do in the middle of the day, then?
chaimamalek: it all becomes unhinged
TikkunHaolam: I guess I would be *productive*. Has Luke ever been productive?
YourMoralLeader: so does your mood change at night?
YourMoralLeader: do you turn into a vampire?
Emma: Yeah
YourMoralLeader: ru going to suck my blood?
Emma: Yes
Emma: I’m going to have my way with you..
Emma: Luke Ford
YourMoralLeader: let’s play truth or dare
Emma: Ok
YourMoralLeader: I’m scared
Emma: lol
Emma: Truth or dare Luke?
YourMoralLeader: truth
Emma: What are you thinking right now?
YourMoralLeader: I’m gonna work out
Emma: Go for it
TheEvilOne: I think Emma should, at this point, excuse herself so that she is not overcome with carnal thoughts
Emma: lol
TheEvilOne: Emma, think of England. And potatoes.
Emma: lmfao
YourMoralLeader: i have carpal tunnel from too much blogging, so slowly am building up muscles around my very sore elbows
Emma: Thinking of potatoes
TheEvilOne: Blogging is just a fancy way of saying "I masturbate too much"
YourMoralLeader: Lord Curzon instructed his American wife in British sexual etiquette: "Ladies never move."
Emma: Ladies never move?
YourMoralLeader: yeah
Emma: Why?
TheEvilOne: That’s why the Empire fell.
TheEvilOne: Ladies began to move around too much
TheEvilOne: Then came the wogs
User TheEvilOne changed their name to MaynardGKrebs.
User guest97 left the room.
MaynardGKrebs: Just the three of us.
Emma: 4
MaynardGKrebs: This is what it will be like when the two of you get together.
MaynardGKrebs: I count three
Emma: lmao
MaynardGKrebs: I will be their with the camera
MaynardGKrebs: there
Emma: He wont need any excercise
MaynardGKrebs: I still say you are a dude, Emma.
Emma: I think not
MaynardGKrebs: I’ve seen no evidence of your true biological nature. Not even a photo
Emma: Infact last time i checked im pretty sure im not a dude
MaynardGKrebs: I hurts me to think that you could be toying with poor Luke and leading him on like this
MaynardGKrebs: And be some guy dude in Brixton
Emma: lol
MaynardGKrebs: Or worse, a muslim in manchester
MaynardGKrebs: It’s happened to me, it could happen to him
Emma: ?
MaynardGKrebs: I thought I was chatting up a young woman, and it turned out I was chatting with a 300pound trannie in Nigeria who wanted my money
Emma: LOL
MaynardGKrebs: We met at a local bar, and I woke up feeling a bit queer.
Emma: I’m sorry to hear that
MaynardGKrebs: Me too.
Emma: Must have been hard for you
MaynardGKrebs: All I had was one stiff one, and then I was out like a light
Emma: lol
Emma: Nightmare
Emma: brb
MaynardGKrebs: It is hard to be a man
MaynardGKrebs: Luke, if I may call you that, you need money
MaynardGKrebs: But first, you must hit rock bottom
MaynardGKrebs: See, the are attracted to the scent of a woman
MaynardGKrebs: This chat room is what china will be like in twenty years.
MaynardGKrebs: Does Emma know about your stint in prison?
Emma: gdgd
MaynardGKrebs: Luke, show her your prison tattoo
MaynardGKrebs: No, not that one, the one in the small of your back
YourMoralSchvartze: were you anybody’s b**ch in prison luke?
YourMoralSchvartze: luke do you have any pets?
MaynardGKrebs: Barak Obama was giving just 1% to charity over the years. Luke, how much charity have you given?
flint: interestingly enough…..every time I come on this site…someone is trying to discredit you….hmmm…..jealousy perhaps
flint: why are they so irritated??
flint: if they dont like you….why do they stay on here???
MaynardGKrebs: We are envious of LUke because he has the attention of a putatively hot 18 yo girl
MaynardGKrebs: Even if she is in Ireland
YourMoralLeader: nothing putative about it
MaynardGKrebs: Luke, anyone can get ahold of a photo
YourMoralLeader: I’ve been to the mountain and I’ve seen the promised land and I like it.
flint: he has the interest of more than one Krebs
YourMoralSchvartze: stop using big words
YourMoralLeader: I may not get there with you
MaynardGKrebs: It just seems contrary to human nature for a man as poor as Luke to be doing that well socially speaking
MaynardGKrebs: It is anti-Darwinian.
MaynardGKrebs: Donald Trump I understand, but this, this is amazing
MaynardGKrebs: I do not come here to live out my life
flint: not so amazing Krebs….happens all the time
flint: good thing
MaynardGKrebs: I want to know how to pull this off on my own
MaynardGKrebs: That’s al
MaynardGKrebs: Please school me, all of you
flint: lol…you mean you want him as your Leader??? advisor???
MaynardGKrebs: Free me from my social constraints
flint: there yah go!
YourMoralSchvartze: luke is hte girl jewish at least?
YourMoralSchvartze: what’s up with the bob denver theme tonight
DoobyGillis: Let us discuss something that is not focussed on Luke Ford
DoobyGillis: I think what America needs is more nuclear power.
DoobyGillis: Nuclear power and an electric car
YourMoralSchvartze: i likehow he moves the camera so we can see him exercise
YourMoralSchvartze: doing his nebbish exercises
DoobyGillis: nuclear power + electric cars = starving Saudi princes
EdwardTeller: With enough breeder reactors and better battery technology, we could finally break the grip of the House of Saud.
Emma: They look heavy this time
DoooDaaa: are u gay ed?
EdwardTeller: I am not sexual in any way
EdwardTeller: Nuclear power will bring so many of these problems to an end
Emma: How are you?
DoooDaaa: fancy meeting u here
EdwardTeller: Hello DooDaaaa
Emma: lol yeah strange
Emma: I remeber when I first saw Luke doing that
Emma: I was like wtf is he crazy?
Emma: Now it’s normal
YourMoralLeader: what intrigued you that first time?
EdwardTeller: There is enough U-238 to provide for all of our energy needs, provided we go to breeder reactors
DoooDaaa: i xercise…its called work
Welshdragon: he aint going to drop the pants again is he?
Emma: You never know with Luke
Welshdragon: u here every night emma?
ElShaddai: wow you have russiandraggons as well as welshdragons. Has anyone seen a hobbit in here?
Welshdragon: i ate the russian
YourMoralLeader: I’m gonna be sore tomorrow
Welshdragon: stop playing with me em
YourMoralLeader: that kedem grape juice workout is a killer
ElShaddai: no pain no gain luke
I was chatting with a friend and asking him about Aish. "I don’t know," he said. "I don’t know anyone who goes there. Nobody does. They shut themselves off from the rest of the community. It’s a weird culty place."
Maybe but I’ve never experienced the love and passion I found at Aish from 1994-98 anywhere else. It’s a special place. A Godly place. A passionate place. It’s charedi. It’s not Modern Orthodox. It makes Jews Jewish. It’s a machine. It’s a system. It’s a system that works if you’re prepared to go whole hog with your Torah.
What’s going on with Anshe Emes? What happened to their building drive? I guess there’s no money or drive in that shul. A lot of people highly dedicated to Torah. It’s friendly. When I davened there on Friday nights, I was always set up with a place for dinner. Always. And I’m a rasha. Imagine what you could experience at Anshe if you were a righteous man.
YULA is a centrist Orthodox school and Shalhevet is left-wing Orthodox (about as tolerant and free as you can get for an Orthodox school).
Orthodox sources tell me: "When Shalhevet opened up 15 years ago, YULA had an opportunity to define itself. They could send all the trash to Shalhevet. Instead YULA tries to compete and takes all the same trash shalhevet does. There all these shady persians and israelis that want to feel their kids are frum so they send them there. The dollar is king. The second school is out, the jewishness is out as well in a lot of these families. Shalom Tendler wanted a frum school. The second shalhevet opened, he thought he would finally have it. He fought for 15 years to make yula frummer. Then the whole thing with his nephew Aron happened and he jumped ship and opened up a school that YULA should have been."
I take no sides in these disputes but HaShem’s side and then only on weekends.
At the end of last year, I made a brief video about Shalhevet.
I fear I may have underestimated the quality of the education there.
Here are the responses on YouTube to my video. They speak highly of the literacy and character development of Shalhevet’s students. I may have underestimated Jerry Friedman’s system.
-ignorant
-stupid
-unwilling to accept Friedman’s "experiment" as a failure
BUT F@!* YOU!!! WHO THE F@!* DO U THINK U ARE?
SHALHEVET ROX, AND U WISH U CUD SEND UR KIDS THERE!!!
f8ck u dude. its a freakin awesome skool jerk
I also got this email: "…I am a student at Shalhevet High School. I am contacting you because I have viewed your videos and would like to inquire as to whether you find your criticism beneficial, productive, or useful in any way at all."
I finally responded: "I just report a story the best I can… That’s all. I’m not here to "help.""
My video got five links from Shalhevet students’ facebook accounts.
Rebecca Spence writes for the Forward:
‘SCRUBS’ BUDS: Actor Zach Braff (center) is flanked (from left to right) by Scott Orlin, Ilanna Bavli, Amanda Kogan, Beth Lemberger and Aaron Kogan — members of the Entertainment Industry Leadership Initiative.
Los Angeles – When Geoff Silverman, a Hollywood literary manager, made his first foray into Jewish charity work, the draw was not purely philanthropic. The program he joined, the Entertainment Council of the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles, offered an enticing component that few other Jewish philanthropic endeavors could match: the chance to network and meet other 20- and 30-something Jews also working in the entertainment business.
Silverman, 39, is among a growing group of young executives, writers, directors, actors and agents who have joined the L.A. federation’s Entertainment Council in recent months. Designed to bring rising Hollywood professionals into the Jewish federated system before they reach the level of a Steven Spielberg or a Sherry Lansing, the council — which launched at the end of January — is fast becoming fertile networking turf for its members.
In a town that’s all about who you know, networking opportunities for young professionals are not in short supply. But, as several council members noted, the interactions that often take place at meet-and-greets and panel discussions hosted by groups whose unabashed purpose is networking can feel awkward and superficial. What the Entertainment Council provides, members say, is the ability to form meaningful relationships born of a common desire to give back.
“Having done some of these other more purely networking organizations, there is an artificiality to it,” said Nick Weiss, a 29-year-old screenwriter and film director who grew up in Philadelphia. “There’s something about the context of the council that, yes, people do come to network and talk shop, but it creates a context for the relationships to go a little bit deeper.”
Silverman, who became involved at the suggestion of a film producer friend, said that he was impressed by the A-list caliber of guest speakers that the council has been able to attract — including John Turteltaub, who directed and produced the recent blockbuster hit “National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” and George Freeman, a top agent at the William Morris Agency.
This is not the path to happiness, Matt. Believe me, I’ve tried it. You’ll find no lasting satisfaction here. Casual sex is only rewarding for the first three decades. After that, you’ll find it starting to pall and you’ll feel all empty inside and kinda used up and cheap.
Sure, these fleeting physical pleasures can be exquisite. And yes, you’ll be able to store them up in your mind for when you get married and have a hard time getting excited any more, but think about what this does to your soul, Matt?
Matt, are you listening to me?
I’m looking at your photos and listening to Foreigner’s song "I wanna know what love is."
Here’s the original report and photos:
I trust you’ll join me in my hot tub, I mean live cam, as we pray for Matt’s soul.
HAND CHECK?
DIRTY ARMY intel: Nik I do not have their exact birth dates but I do know that all of the girls graduated high school in 2006, putting them all between 19 and 20. The girl in between lachey and the other guy graduated from reno high in 2006 and was in my little brothers class, her name is Courtney Halki and there is no way that she is 21. Also, Colleen Hennessy is the girl playing beer pong with Lachey, again she graduated high school in 2006. I don’t really have much else for you but I will find out as much as I can.
Things The DIRTY have verified:
Courtney Elizabeth Halki (age 20 beer bong myspace profile below, this idiot made a picture from this night as her profile pic- same dress and beer pong set up) is a student at ASU. Liv Fierro (age 19 her bebo profile below was a blonde, but now short brown hair in blue big top), Chelsea Antoniono, and Karley Davis (in spa left of Matt zebra top- sophomore from Downers Grove, IL her myspace says in a relationship and ASU nursing major) were three of the other girls in the pictures. Still digging up more dirt so please email me with any info on the ladies pictured.
Well at least the young girls of ASU know that they can always go over to Matty’s house if their fake IDs don’t work. Plus free booze and college drinking games… Nick you are 34 years old, just wanted to remind you of the 14 year age gap once you read this (TROUT). Hi Vanessa! Love you! Thanks for letting Nick play.- nik
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