The new espionage affair revealed Tuesday is in fact an old story. Nothing in this fact, however, can reduce the gravity of damage it will cause Israel, nor lead to expectations that suspect Ben-Ami Kadish’s punishment will be eased – if he is indeed to be convicted in a court of law.
One can draw a number of conclusions from this affair: To begin with, the memory of American law and justice is very long and will not leave alone a violation even if a quarter of a century has passed.
This is known to Colonel (res.) Aviam Sela, who was involved in the recruitment of Jonathan Pollard (a U.S. citizen jailed for spying for Israel), and Yaakov Nimrodi who was involved in the "Irangate" affair (the sale of weapons to Iran). Both of these men fear arrest in the United States should they travel there.
Another conclusion is that Israel’s argument, that the handling of Jonathan Pollard was an exceptional and one-time event, has once again been proven incorrect.
Nevertheless, there is no doubt that after the Pollard affair Israel ceased spying on the U.S. and pursuing technological espionage either – one of the identifying marks of Israel’s illegal activities on U.S. soil in the 1970s and 1980s.
During those years, a number of Israelis and non-Israelis were arrested and investigated on suspicion of attempting to smuggle technology, equipment and information from the U.S. to Israel.
The Pollard affair revealed that the Defense Ministry operated a secret unit under the name of the "Science Liaison Bureau" (also known by its Hebrew acronym "Lakam"), which for years fulfilled intelligence and equipment-gathering missions for the nuclear reactor in Dimona and also served as a sort of "theft contractor" for the Israeli security industry.
Lakam appointed a number of scientific attaches in Israeli embassies in the U.S. and Europe, who served as the contacts in charge of missions of this type. Rafi Eitan, a former senior official in the Mossad espionage agency and a currently serving cabinet minister, was the head of Lakam.
Pollard, it turns out, was handled by two scientific attaches from the Washington embassy, and an attache from the New York consulate, Yosef Yagur. Pollard passed onto the attaches thousands of documents he stole from U.S. intelligence computers, and photographed them in a hidden apartment prepared by Israeli representatives in Washington.
Documents presented to the court and briefing to the press in the present affair reveal that Ben-Ami Kadish’s handler was the scientific attache in New York. Even though he is not mentioned by name, it is known that Yosef Yagur was the attache at that time.
Regarding this afternoon’s item on a shortage of matzoh for Passover, mileages vary:
"I noticed the shortage too! I live in a very Jewish neighborhood…..near Pico/Robertson…closer to Pico/Fairfax. At my "ghetto" Von’s, there’s usually a huge Passover display in the front of the store. This time, there was a small display with every kind of matzoh EXCEPT Manischevitz! I ended up with some delicious Israeli wheat matzoh for my kugel. I’m thinking of eating tortillas the rest of the week. They aren’t leavened, right?"
"i find the matzoh shortage blurb had to swallow. i checked with some observant jewish friends who said they nor others they know had any problems at all. and there was plenty on the shelves of the gelson’s i shop at."
"I am glad to know that we are not the only Jewish family in town that cannot find matzoh (or, as the manager of our local market put it, "Passover crackers".)
"Kevin, please protect my identity to save me from ridicule at ****** HQ….But…I can affirm the shortage of Matzoh…I went to TWO different grocery stores last night and could not find any matzoh. Both in the WeHo/Cedars-adjacent area….Pavillions at Santa Monica and Robertson, and Ralphs and Beverly and Doheny. The managers said there was none to be had."
"I got a chuckle out of your items on the ‘matzoh shortage’ in Los Feliz. As a former resident of that neighborhood I can state that while it’s a great place to live on many counts, it has none of the things a more than "semi-observant" Jew needs. I’ll be happy to supply directions to Fairfax, Pico-Robertson or my own shtetl of Valley Village, where you can’t turn around this time of year without tripping over a box of matzoh!"
"Aren’t there any Kosher tortillas? Aren’t they flour, water, and salt?"
"Hi Kevin, this isn’t the first year of shortages. I noticed it last year. So this year I purchased those multi-box packages as soon as they come out. Cause if you run out in the middle of the week, you’re up a Red Sea without a paddle. Thanks for all the coverage, kosher-for-passover or otherwise."
"U mite wanna add that the WSJ reported on shortage of kosher for passover margarine last week."
QuixoticLass: I went to Catholic school for 9 years
Emma: Really
QuixoticLass: half my family is catholic
Emma: You weren’t born Jewish?
QuixoticLass: my mom is Jewish
Emma: Oh right
Emma: Did you like your school?
QuixoticLass: but I was also baptized catholic, so I’m covered.
Emma: Ah that makes sense
QuixoticLass: I didn’t like my school because I was short and shy and had a boy haircut
QuixoticLass: and no friends
Emma: I know how that feels 🙂
QuixoticLass: I was one of the poor kids
QuixoticLass: at a rich school
Emma: Aha
1GiantTesticle: which school was that?
QuixoticLass: they can all kiss my grits now
QuixoticLass: St.Paul the Apostle in Los Angeles
1GiantTesticle: Why did you go there? and not public schools?
QuixoticLass: because my dad was louder than my mom
1GiantTesticle: What does he now think of his decision?
QuixoticLass: I don’t talk to him now as he lives in an alternate reality
1GiantTesticle: And dear old Mom?
QuixoticLass: mom is glad I survived catholic school to become a normal person
Emma: What do you mean?
QuixoticLass: you know, I feel a little uncomfortable talking to a giant testicle
poop: i did a catholic school and look what came of me
QuixoticLass: perhaps its my catholic school upbringing
1GiantTesticle: What’s wrong with talking to me?
QuixoticLass: usually I address testicles in pairs.
1GiantTesticle: Don’t you view all men as essentially one giant testicle?
QuixoticLass: I do not view all men as giant testicles. no.
QuixoticLass: then I’d be too afraid to rough house
Emma: You’ll find my footprints in the sand
QuixoticLass: Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy
QuixoticLass: now it’s Pretty in Pink
Emma: 🙂
QuixoticLass: what year were you born?
Emma: Whats your favourtie colour?
Emma: 1989
QuixoticLass: ha Pretty in Pink is from before that. scary
Emma: lol I know alot of the oldies
QuixoticLass: I like jewel tones
QuixoticLass: "oldies" oy.
Emma: You know what I mean!
QuixoticLass: not that I’m an "oldie but goodie"
Emma: Indeedy
QuixoticLass: wait, let me put my teeth back in so I can properly ream you for that
Tearing down the temple. Throwing out the money changers. Flipping off the beit din!
Justification by faith!
Sanctification!
The Heavenly Sanctuary!
Judging the saints!
Look at my erection!
I can’t be more specific. I know you want the goss, but I spent the last three days with friends and community. Passover is not something you can do alone.
I can’t be specific with this blog.
I can’t be obscene.
I must be good.
Your loss is my gain.
I keep my chaverim.
I don’t want to get into trouble.
I’ll be a good boy. I promise. I’ll be a good boy, the best boy, your best boy, the golden boy of the shul, if you let me stay.
I’ll be no trouble at all.
I won’t write about you.
I’ll respect your sacred space.
Levi will be a good boy. A good goy. A nice toy.
Levi won’t Luke Ford all over you.
Levi will be discrete.
Levi will just sketch emotions. That can’t be wrong. We own our emotions right? Emotions are never wrong.
If I just share my feelings, what could be wrong with that? Nobody gets hurt.
This is California. Emotions rule. It would be uncool to judge me.
Friday afternoon. Frustrated with my income. Or lack of it. So many opportunities to make money online. Why am I the loser? Why am I regressing? Adsense income down.
Looking forward to the break. I want to get away from the computer. I’m ready for a new beginning.
Don’t tell anyone, but I did a really slipshod job with my cleaning for Passover.
Again.
I don’t think I’ve ever cleaned thoroughly.
I just cleaned the parts of my hovel that were obvious and wouldn’t put my back out.
I ignored the mess on top of my dresser.
I never eat bread up there anyway.
I put in three hours of cleaning and considered that as fulfilling the mitzva.
Wish I had a wife who’d cook and clean for me.
If I had her, I’d cherish her and fulfill the entire Torah!
Normally I regard myself as an honorary Sephardi on Passover (so I have a wider selection of food to eat) but this year I did things right by the Ashkenazi tradition.
I couldn’t find any matza at Ralphs Thursday afternoon except for shmura matza. When combined with my beard, it makes me look religious.
I should’ve prolonged my parting with Emma but by 5:45 p.m. Friday she’d said goodbye. I sat looking at my computer feeling lost. There was no one in the chat room.
My best friend is not in shul Friday night. He is not in shul Saturday morning.
I feel bereft.
Come home! Don’t go whoring after other shuls, for the fantastic davening at the Happy Minyan. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.
There are some weirdos there. Some perverts. Yeah, the davening feels indescribable, but some of that is cheap grace. Clappy happy.
Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.
Don’t follow your heart. Don’t drift with the wind. Don’t go after what feels good.
Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.
Don’t go Hasidic. Don’t go Chabadnik. Don’t go to the shuls where I’m banned.
Don’t go away from me.
Don’t.
Go.
Away.
From.
Me.
You’re the only one who understands me. You laugh at my jokes. You ground me. You make me feel like I have something to give. You make me feel important.
Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.
You’re going. Going… Gone.
Alone. Bereft. So very alone.
I can’t go on my cam. I can’t work. I must face the bloke I’ve created over the past 42 years. I must sleep with him and with him alone.
No sheilas tonight.
Davening starts early Saturday morning. Thank G-d. I can leave the hovel shortly after waking. I can lose myself in the prayers and the Torah and the buds.
But you’re not there. Celebrating Passover elsewhere, heh?
Small crowd.
Make lots of jokes.
Prayer, Torah, Passover. It’s all a joke.
Hahahahahahaha.
Eat my last bread roll in the courtyard.
A friend says hello and and I’m all flustered and awkward and turn away.
Get back into the line. Say my prayers. Make some jokes. Try to listen to the rabbi. Sleep beckons. Have choice — morally improving lecture or drift into oblivion.
guest3: meet any ladies over the break?
Guest23: What are we listening to?
YourMoralLeader: scorpions
Guest23: I’m dying for a slice of white bread
Guest23: with a shmear of peanut butter
Guest23: How was your "hog"?
Guest23: Heard that Weil’s not leaving us….
YourMoralLeader: what?
Guest23: yet
YourMoralLeader: no way?
YourMoralLeader: it was OK
YourMoralLeader: yours?
YourMoralLeader: r u gina?
Guest23: I’ll be whomever you want me to be
Guest23: Did you miss Emma horibbly over the past 3 days?
Guest23: I did
Guest23: I especially missed the horses
YourMoralLeader: horribly
Guest23: absence makes ….
YourMoralLeader: true
Guest23: the heart…..
Guest23: go into cardiac arrest
Guest23: may have to call Hatzalah and have you resucitated
Guest23: techiat hameytim
Guest23: Did you get what you wanted for afikomen?
YourMoralLeader: lol
YourMoralLeader: i found the whole thing a bore and a chore
Guest23: too long?
Guest23: did you do the first seder?
YourMoralLeader: yes, I led it
Guest23: any followers?
YourMoralLeader: I’m not in a good space with my Judaism.
YourMoralLeader: 1
YourMoralLeader: I feel on the margins and act in ways to keep myself there.
Guest23: sorry. that must be a very tough place to be
YourMoralLeader: I have little concentration for the shiurim let alone the davening and the rituals
Guest23: 3 day holidays can do that to you
YourMoralLeader: I’m not even concentrating on the books I’m reading in shul
Guest23: maybe you should only go to every other prayer session
YourMoralLeader: I’m just thinking about: In Order: Sex, money, power, self-assertion, survival, social status
Guest23: interesting order
YourMoralLeader: I used to get invited to really cool seders but I blew all those relationships up, I fear.
Guest23: religion is no where on the list?
YourMoralLeader: In my fantasy life, it’s not showing up much.
Guest23: start new ones
YourMoralLeader: I will, I’m doing the actions, the heart will follow.
Guest23: takes a while
Guest23: a lot of patience
Guest23: don’t give up…. Chaim Amalak has faith in you
Guest23: as do I
Guest23: don’t passover the religion
Guest23: shavuot is coming….
YourMoralLeader: I love shuvuot
Guest23: flowers and cheescake…what could be bad?
User guest8 left the room.
Guest23: I find it interesting that social status made the list
YourMoralLeader: I’m always thinking about that, I hate feeling like a loser and I often feel like a loser, particularly in Orthodox Judaism.
YourMoralLeader: No marriage, no woman, no cry.
YourMoralLeader: I want someone to cherish and she in turn will cook and clean for me!
Guest23: you need marriage and woman to cry?
Guest23: I sound like Russian Dragon now lol
Guest23: Dragon
Guest23: and I type like him too!
Guest23: sat out in the sun today…
YourMoralLeader: yay
Guest23: and thought of you
YourMoralLeader: was your cam on?
Guest23: in my mind… did you see me?
YourMoralLeader: yes!
Guest23: I tried to be tzenua
Guest23: covered my knees and elbows
Guest23: biig turn on don’t you think?
YourMoralLeader: yes
Guest23: did you wear your sppedos?
Guest23: under your tzitzit?
YourMoralLeader: yes
User guest9 left the room.
Guest23: Emma seems very tzenua
YourMoralLeader: yes
YourMoralLeader: i love that about her
YourMoralLeader: i’m writing up my passover in emotional terms rather than specifics so I don’t offend anyone
Guest23: what do you think is the one thing she simply adores about you?
Guest23: I know she is drawn to what she perceives is your realness
Guest23: sincerity,honesty and Aussie wit
Guest23: plus she loves that you have the same taste in music
Guest23: and she simply adores the Roo tune
Guest23: maybe she just wants to be tied down
Guest23: she has a free spirit
Guest23: that is pure
YourMoralLeader: i agreeeeeeeeeeeeeee
YourMoralLeader: I adore her
YourMoralLeader: We’re attracted because of the dynamics of our very earliest years, not explicable who turns us on.
Guest23: I believe you truly do
Guest23: that superceeds the different generations you both grew up in?
Guest23: I fear the pensive mood you seem to be in….
Guest23: should I be concerned?
YourMoralLeader: nah, gonna write it out
Guest23: thats good. you don’t seem to have the energy for excercise
Guest23: and you probably are all out of grape juice
Guest23: matzah is very constipating
Guest23: you must do some of your best writing now…
Guest23: all that stored up creativity just bursting to get out
YourMoralLeader: 🙂
Guest23: can’t wait to read your pearls of wisdom
Guest23: I disect every word because every word has deep meaning
YourMoralLeader: lol
Guest23: Emma’s favorite blog jargon is lol and / or lmao
Guest23: you two are rubbing off on each other
Guest23: You’re past 3 days is quite depressing…
Guest23: putting me in a funk
Guest23: that plus the death of the lukeford.com site owner
YourMoralLeader: lol
Guest23: you should go to the happy minyan and GET HAPPY
YourMoralLeader: I prefer to write about dark emotions, the other emotions I enjoy, but don’t feel driven to write about
Guest23: does writing dark give you inner joy?
Guest23: put you in touch with your dark side?
Guest23: that gives me perverse happiness
Guest23: once you’ve been black…
Guest23: there’s no going back
Guest23: you’d make an awesome goth
Guest23: you don’t wear enough black
Guest23: ask Emma about eyelash tinting
YourMoralLeader: lol
YourMoralLeader: you get it!
Guest23: I don’t get enuff of it!
Guest23: Emma and Chavi = interesting pair
Guest23: loved your line asking if her Mom was at the mik when she converted
YourMoralLeader: lol
guest10: Is this the longest Emma withdrawal?
guest10: they should make a patch for that
Guest23: Heard that Ralphs sold out of the square matzohs several weeks ago
Guest23: cuz they started selling hem right after Purim… to early
YourMoralLeader: ahh
YourMoralLeader: Emma Interruptus
Guest23: Could I trouble you to play tiet me kangaroo down sport…
Guest23: pretty please?
Guest23: My Hallel did not really go to well with that tune!
Guest23: and the strange look from my Rabbi was embarrasing to say the least
Guest23: He does not get it
guest10: I had more than 4 questions….
guest10: big dilemma
guest10: emma dilemma
Guest23: Could I trouble you to play tiet me kangaroo down sport…
Guest23: pretty please?
Guest23: My Hallel did not really go to well with that tune!
Guest23: and the strange look from my Rabbi was embarrasing to say the least
Guest23: He does not get it
guest10: I had more than 4 questions….
guest10: big dilemma
guest10: emma dilemma
Guest23: I’m in Aussie Roo Heaven!! multiple!!!
Guest23: I actually think its a great niggun
Guest23: gr8 beat and you can squeeze in a dvar torah
guest10: encourages group participation… at least a minyan
guest10: alla tzoo zamen = all together now
guest10: I think I prefer the morose Luke better…..
guest10: don’t get tooooooo happy now
guest10: btw I saw a scrap of bread on top of your dresser
guest10: wondering how the heck it got there
guest10: I think you are emotionally attached to your carpet sweeper
guest10: you seem hypnotized by the back and forth
guest10: how do you react to the vacumm?
guest10: too much power for you to handle?
guest10: less control?
guest10: you are suppposed to pour some toxic fluid on the chametz you find in your possession on Pesach
guest10: so that it is inedible
YourMoralLeader: oh
guest10: even to a dog
guest10: or horse
guest10: I sure hope Emma mare has a refuah shelema
guest10: I pray for her
guest10: I said a misheberach in shul
YourMoralLeader: emma had to give her up
YourMoralLeader: needs $$ expensive help
guest10: oh… thats sad
guest10: really
guest10: her Aunt couldn’t help out?
guest10: once she was unable to ride her, the battle was lost
YourMoralLeader: yeah
YourMoralLeader: I’m the same way
guest10: but you will be a good replacement
guest10: she will be gentle riding you
YourMoralLeader: Welcome rabbi
YourMoralLeader: please G-d
YourMoralLeader: If we have trouble with that, we’ll go to Rebbitzen Feller
guest10: we have mezumin
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: seidler-feller to you
YourMoralLeader: sorry
guest10: Rabboisi meer velin bentchin
guest10: Rubber tires never break
guest10: yehe shame on you
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: how’s the transliteration working out for you, luke
YourMoralLeader: oy ve
YourMoralLeader: I hate that stuff
YourMoralLeader: prefer to struggle with the holy letters
guest10: fake it
guest10: like everyone else
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: how were your seders, luke?
YourMoralLeader: Ok rabbi, how were yours?
YourMoralLeader: I was talking about you at one of the seders with one of your critics
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: what was the sob saying
YourMoralLeader: worse than a kapo?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: and who would dare question my leadership
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i want names and addresses
guest10: smack him!
YourMoralLeader: Should I trademark "Your Moral Leader"?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i’ll bust a cap
QuixoticLass: you haven’t?
guest10: no need you own it
YourMoralLeader: only with the beit din
YourMoralLeader: and in heaven
QuixoticLass: you’ve been hit by the great matzah shortage of ’08 as well?
YourMoralLeader: yep!
QuixoticLass: I have one box left and my midget army returns tomorrow
guest10: and Tam tams!
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: how about that chocolate covered matzo?
guest10: and KY Jelly
YourMoralLeader: gotta get me some
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: doreen is eating them by the boxful
QuixoticLass: what will I feed them?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: it’s going straight to her behind
YourMoralLeader: sorry
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: no it’s great
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i love me a ghetto booty
QuixoticLass: was there anyone in shul this weekend?
QuixoticLass: I just couldn’t get up.
YourMoralLeader: not many
QuixoticLass: 3 nights in a row close to 2 am
YourMoralLeader: i understand
YourMoralLeader: that’s why i use levitra
YourMoralLeader: gets me to the shul on time
QuixoticLass: hee
QuixoticLass: yakum purkan
QuixoticLass: arise my salvation
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i have a girl for you, luke
YourMoralLeader: Yes rabbi
guest10: she’s got a nice set of Tam Tams
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: nubile coed cutie
YourMoralLeader: B"H
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: are you interested?
QuixoticLass: duh.
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: should i have her facebook you?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: she loves shaggy, unkempt men
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: in fact you’ll be the 3rd homeless person she’s dated in a row
guest10: but does she love to shag?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: i’ll put it this way — doreen taught her everything there is to know about kosher tantric sex
guest10: Kabbalah Sex?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: you know that red string?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: we use a red rope
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: put on some rolling stones
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: either that or klezmer
guest10: pour some kosher for passover sugar on me
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: killer shabbat queen
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: jimi hendrix — all along the bimah
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: doors — light my shabbos fire
QuixoticLass: did you check any stores besides ralphs for matzah?
YourMoralLeader: no
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: luke i thought you were done with the shiksahs
QuixoticLass: I have to go check livonia and eilat before work
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: you sing like a fairy
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: as long as you don’t practice onanism
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: you should be fine
YourMoralLeader: thank you
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: can i bring you to hillel to speak?
RabbiChaimSeidlerFeller: luke, i think what you need is a good wingman
In a first-floor room at the Economy Inn in Morgan Hill, the clothed body of porn director Inkyo Volt Hwang, 38, lay face down, half off and half on the bed, an empty box of Milk Duds near his head.
Hwang’s body was found Sept. 29 a few feet from a shrine he constructed to his recently deceased wife, porn starlet Haley Paige, 25. Near two glass candles, he taped three computer-generated photos of Paige smiling and another of her casket. In a spiral notebook, he described how hard it was for him to deal with her death, a death in which police said he was implicated.
Early this month, the verdict on Hwang’s demise became public. It was no big surprise. The Santa Clara County coroner’s office said the Canoga Park man had committed suicide by an overdose of methadone pills.
Another sordid death in a sordid world? Maybe. As I pulled back the strands of this story, however, I encountered things I did not expect: a father’s grief, a daughter’s yearning, an unpopular man’s penance and even male chauvinists’ compassion.
This much seems clear: Hwang and Paige were hellbent for destruction in a life that mixed porn, drugs and violence in a lethal cocktail.
Hwang, sometimes known as "Chico Wanker Wang," was a UCLA honors graduate, an erratic ex-con who swore he never could tell his Korean-born parents what he did. "This was a very dark, dangerous fellow," said Luke Ford, a freelance writer who knew him. "He would talk about killing himself or other people with a disturbing ease that wasn’t just humor."
I have read nearly every book written by the Berg family, the founders of The Kabbalah Centre, and though I have since gone onto read other far more profound authors on the subject like Israel Regardie, I still find many Berg books, particularly Becoming Like God and The Power of Kabbalah, to be insightful and of use to everyone from advanced students to beginners. This is why I was slightly disappointed with Yehuda Berg’sThe Kabbalah Book of Sex, a title so intriguing I believe it became the fastest selling book the family has had to date.
One of my favorite movie quotes is from Angelina Jolie in Playing By Heart where she looks at her life’s love, Ryan Phillipe, after discovering he is HIV+ and says, "When has having sex or not having sex ever not been a problem?" I love that line. And it’s for that reason that there is a lot to love about this book and probably for those same reasons I have found myself questioning a lot of its content.
The #1 thing I have taken away from this book is that, like all things in life and Kabbalah, sex boils down to your consciousness.
Are we out to have an orgasm? Or are we out to give an orgasm?
The consciousness of a Kabbalist is that we are supposed to become more like God, all giving and sharing, not receiving. A Kabbalist works hard to receive only with a desire to share, not with the selfish desire to "receive for the self alone," and it is when we’re out to give selflessly that we end up receiving the most pleasure from the universe.
Sex is no different. If your intention is to give pleasure to your partner, your own pleasure will be not only greater, but the blissful energy that is created in that connection to one and other is a positive energy you’re bestowing upon the world.
The second most important thing I took away from this book is a step that, until now, has been missing from the Kabbalah books I’ve read by the Bergs.
We hear a lot about ridding ourselves of this "desire to receive for the self alone" and instead having a "desire for the sake of sharing" — but what I had not heard about until now was that in order to have a desire for the sake of sharing, you must first rid yourself of the desire to receive altogether! This step certainly makes it less of a mind fuck. If you try to be in a constant state of sharing instead of receiving, when you receive by default you’ll automatically want to give it back, and thus will continue to receive even more!
So, #2 lesson learned: To rid ourselves of the desire to receive for the self alone, we must really first rid ourselves of the desire to receive completely.
Okay, now stick with me because here’s where things get tricky…
Yehuda Berg states in The Kabbalah Book of Sex that according to the Zohar and other Kabbalistic materials, masturbation is evil, as is the use of pornography to stimulate yourself.
Whoa! Back up! Right? Those were my thoughts too. I know all those porn star friends of mine who wear red string in their sex scenes will be crushed by this news.
However, if you’re into the Kabbalistic way of life, it’s kind of hard to discredit this claim. Masturbation is, after all, an entirely selfish act. You are not giving to anyone. You’re completely receiving for the self alone. It’s not doing the world any good for you to masturbate and many times it in fact detracts us from connections of great importance.
Resistance is a big part of transformation in Kabbalah too. The harder a selfish desire is to resist, the more light it will bring you when overcoming it.
For instance, if you’re in a partnership and you masturbate frequently, you may find sex with your partner less exciting or have less of a need to connect with that person on a physical level. If you’re single, according to The Kabbalah Book of Sex, it can make you feel like you are fulfilling your own needs and dull your desire to connect to another person, which, according to The Kabbalah Book of Sex, is one of the most important reasons we are on this Earth — to find our Soul Mate. And every time we singles get ourselves off, that selfish energy could distance us from finding our Soul Mate karmically, as would any form of selfish sex with another person.
If that’s not enough to bring you down, there’s a whole lot of talk in the book about "exposed semen" being something that the adversary snatches up and feeds off of. (The Adversary, aka: The Opponent, negative energy, Satan, Samael, etc.) And this relates not only to masturbation, but even to sex with someone you love. Semen should never be exposed according to Berg’s findings in the Kabbalah. And the more it is, the worse the karma and negativity you incur.
Yeah. There’s a lot more where this came from, but I’d like to just stop here for a second before moving on and give my thoughts on the masturbation and semen bit.
First of all, I don’t doubt that less masturbation in general is a good thing. It probably does make our connections and our desires to connect much stronger.
But let’s talk about pornography for a moment.
Let’s say that a couple film themselves having the most spiritual sex ever! Both of them go into it with not only the intention to give selflessly to each other, but even to share their pleasure with the world! These are all acts of giving. So then, making pornography, could be a giving act depending on your consciousness — but the negativity comes from the selfish receiving of watching it? Hmm.
Well, what if you don’t watch it alone? What if you share it with your partner and it enhances your pleasure together?
And what to make of the exposed semen? Isn’t this all starting to sound like the Catholic church condemning the use of condoms because sex is supposed to be used for procreation, not recreation?
What is worse? Someone who masturbates frequently? Or someone who has a series of meaningless one night stands? And are the one night stands better for the soul than masturbation so long as the semen is released inside of someone? None of these questions are answered in The Kabbalah Book of Sex, which makes me think that the Bergs need to spend more time with the gays. We know a lot about sex. Our lives have at times revolved around it. So if anyone has some questions, it’s us.
Speaking of homosexuality, there are a few brief pages that are devoted to this in The Kabbalah Book of Sex. After hundreds of pages about how we were once all one soul that was split into male and female energies, Adam and Eve, with Adam being the "giving" energy and Eve being the "receiving," ala penis and vagina, and even likening it to science in the form of protons and neutrons, positive and negative poles that attract only to each other, finally, after all of this heteros-only babble, do we get a couple pages that tell us, "Hey, by the by, all this will work just fine for the gays too!"
How?!
Well, Berg says it works just fine because even in gay relationships there is usually one partner with a "receiving" energy of Eve/neutron/neg-pole and another with the "giving" energy of Adam/proton/plus-pole. Basically, this is his nice way of saying that one’s usually a top and one’s usually a bottom.
If that’s not enough, the ultimate slap in the face comes when we’re told that the position for ejaculation should always be in missionary position, with the man on top and the woman on her back. It says that this way you’re emulating God. Like God’s giving energy flows from on high down to the Earth, the man’s giving energy flows down to his female receiver.
I’m a little outraged for the women here.
Have the Bergs never heard of "topping from the bottom?" You know, the women are giving pleasure to the men just as much as the men are giving pleasure to the women. So why can’t they be on top? Why can’t they be in the driver’s seat and let their love and their giving energy flow down onto the man? Why can’t the man receive the female’s energy? Does Yehuda Berg honestly believe that one needs a penis to get inside of someone or that one can not get "inside" of someone as a physical receiver?
One word: ARCHAIC.
A word I’ve never been able to associate with the Bergs or The Kabbalah Centre until now. Even The Bible itself speaks of how its lessons must adapt to the times. Kabbalah has certainly been all about that as well, and the Bergs even moreso, making this knowledge readily accessible to everyone from all walks of life.
So as not to merely complain, I would like to give some suggestions to anyone who may be as confused and disappointed as I.
– While all forms of sex for selfish purpose is bad, perhaps it is best not to involve others in your plight and stick to masturbation instead of a series of meaningless encounters driven only to get yourself off.
– And maybe it’s not such a bad idea to limit one’s masturbational activities, so that we don’t numb ourselves to the desire to give of ourselves to another person.
– In Kabbalah it has been said that one of the great challenges of life is to see beyond that of the physical world. What if one of the great "gets" of life is to see beyond the idea of male and female, penis and vagina? What if when the unified soul split into two energies of Adam and Eve, giver and receiver, what if, instead of looking for those outside of ourselves, we were to find that they actually both exist within us? Maybe, just maybe, the point is to actually marry the two within us, to embrace our "masculine" and our "feminine" so that we may then become whole and have more to offer our soul mate? Would it not be better to offer your soul mate a whole person as opposed to a half person that needs completion — and after all, wouldn’t that need of completion be just another form of selfish receiving?
– And since marrying those within us kind of gets us off the "hunt for the red hot soul mate" kick, let’s talk about how much more sense that makes now too, consider that according to Kabbalah, God is all giving and all loving to all of us, treating all of us like his soul mates. If it is our job to become more like God, it is also our job to see the world as our soul mate and recognize that we are all one even when it comes to those people we can’t stand. There’s your resistance and there’s your transformation. You don’t need another person to make that happen. You just need God. A special partner to rely on, share secrets with, grow and evolve with, would be incredible, but is not essential and certainly not at the expense of continuing your own spiritual growth so that you can give more of yourself — and the best version of yourself — to the world in general.
But then, call me crazy, but I also have a difficult time believing that every time my semen is exposed, it’s fodder for Satan.
To be clear though, it’s not Kabbalah I’m finding a problem with. It’s the Centre’s interpretation of it that I find myself questioning and disagreeing with.
I will never forget an address by Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman at an Agudath Israel of America convention on the topic "Living a Life of Ruchnios amidst Gashmius." I had never before heard Rabbi Wachsman, and I practically jumped out of my seat when he thundered: This topic represents a fundamental mistake. There is no ruchnius amidst gashmius. To the extent that a person is living in the world of gashmus he is removed from ruchnius.
I was reminded of those words recently on a recent trip to Los Angeles, where I had a rare opportunity to speak with a rav whose wisdom has always impressed me. In the course of our conversation, he asked to me, "What would you say is the greatest threat to Yiddishkeit today?" I leaned forward eagerly, confident that he would mention one of my favorite subjects. But I must admit that his answer would not have been on my top ten-list.
"Pesach in hotels," turned out to be the winning answer. And my friend’s central criticism was similar to that of Rabbi Wachsman: the Pesach hotel industry takes what should be one of the ultimate spiritual experiences of every Jew’s life and encases it in a thick wrapper of materialism. Read the adverstisements, he told me: "No gebrochts" right next to "24 hour tea bar;" "Daily daf hayomi" next to "Karate, go-carts, and jeeping for the kids."
"Olympic-size pool," "state-of-the-art-gym" (to work off all the extra pounds from the non-stop eating), "five-star accommodations" and famous singers are de rigueur for the full Pesach experience. And many throw in exotic locations ? Hawaii, Cancun, the Bahamas, and an eighteen-hole golf course. What exercised my friend the most was the way that well-known rabbis, and even roshei yeshiva , are impressed into service in the advertisements, as if to put an imprimatur of ruchnius on the festivities.
My friend was raised in a particularly biting style of mussar , and he was just warming to his subject. He described the wailing when the dessert table runs out and the rush forward when the hapless waiter comes with refills and is almost trampled underfoot. Hotels have to put security guards around the 24-hour-tea rooms, lest some poor soul from the hotel down the road, where the dining room closes at 10:00 p.m., cannot make it to breakfast without a late snack.
"The chilul Hashem alone," he said, would be reason enough to close the Pesach extravaganzas. What does the staff at these hotels come to think of frum Jews? That they care only about eating and their holidays are nothing but eat fests? What impression does it make to see a group of pot-bellied men trying to eat their money’s worth of food?
He related to me the story of one local frum boy who had accompanied his father to sell their chametz . They found the rav’s house turned completely upside down for Pesach cleaning. On the way out, the boy asked his father why the rav’s house was in such turmoil. He had never in his life seen, much less participated, in cleaning for Pesach.
That boy, my friend lamented, cannot possibly connect to the idea that Pesach cleaning parallels an inner process of removing the se’or she’b’isa ? the physicality and inner materialism that holds us back in our performance of Hashem’s commandments. His experience of Pesach has nothing to do with destroying the chametz either within or without.
When we gather in our homes around the festively decorated Pesach table, with the special dishes taken down just one week a year, and contemplate the freshly scrubbed homes over which we have labored so diligently, we link ourselves to all the generations of our ancestors. We may no longer exchange our old dirt floor for a new one every year at Pesach time, as they did in Europe. But if those ancestors could return to observe our preparations for Pesach, they would recognize their descendants and feel comfortable joining us for Seder. It more doubtful they would recognize us gathered around a hotel buffet table ? even if we were wearing a shtreimel and bekeshe .
YourMoralLeader: chavi, are you the copy editor convert to judaism?
Chavi: Ha! Yes … I am. Who told you?
Chavi: Though, I have mostly defected from journalism for the time being
YourMoralLeader: DBerger
YourMoralLeader: what are you doing these days?
YourMoralLeader: for work?
YourMoralLeader: He sent me links to your articles on conversion
Chavi: I work at…as an assistant and sometimes editor, but am heading to grad school in the fall at UConn for Judaic studies
YourMoralLeader: i linked ’em up on lukeford.net
Chavi: ahh! wow, thanks
Chavi: i’m just heading over there
YourMoralLeader: that’s awesome, why UConn?
Chavi: Well, it was Brandeis/UConn/UMich — and Uconn was the most welcoming and offered the most funds
YourMoralLeader: cool
YourMoralLeader: any particular professor?
Chavi: Stuart Miller was particularly enticing. He’s a second temple/talmudic scholar; just a really intelligent fellow
YourMoralLeader: do you want to be a prof or teacher?
Chavi: Definitely a professor, though we’ll see where it takes me. I could end up working in a day school or in the community somehow
Chavi: Did Dberger tell you about the jewsbychoice.org site?
YourMoralLeader: yes
YourMoralLeader: it’s cool
YourMoralLeader: i have a lot of friends who are converting
Chavi: we are truly the coolest of the cats
Chavi: Your site is massive! It might take me months to dig through everything 🙂
Chavi: See, and that’s something I’m considering .. when I head off to school I’m going to try to implement Chavi
YourMoralLeader: My Hebrew name is Levi
YourMoralLeader: That’s what my orthodox friends call me
YourMoralLeader: Luke ford is fine for the goyim
Chavi: Ahh! Levi is a stellar name
Chavi: True
Emma: lol
Chavi: My generic, Midwestern name will never fade into oblivion
Emma: Hi Levi
User guest19 left the room.
Chavi: Those in Nebraska/Missouri will always know me as such
YourMoralLeader: Hi Emma!
YourMoralLeader: yes,
Emma: 🙂
YourMoralLeader: I split up my life
Chavi: Although, I chose Chavi because it means the same thing as my given name
YourMoralLeader: I have friends in different areas and don’t seek to bring ’em together, that makes me v. nervous
Chavi: Ha!
Chavi: You shoulda seen my mom at the conversion ceremony … oy she was so confused
YourMoralLeader: lol
YourMoralLeader: she was in the mivkeh with you?
Chavi: oh no! the public ceremony at the shul
Chavi: the naming and presentation part of the conversion
YourMoralLeader: lol
Chavi: The mikveh would have blown her mind
Chavi: "Are you being baptized!?"
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s a nice 18yo christian girl in ireland, I’m trying to lure her to the dark Jewish side.
Chavi: Ha!
Emma: lol
Chavi: I had a friend recently go to Ireland (he’s also a convert) and attended shul there, though I’m not sure which one
Chavi: I believe he was in Dublin
YourMoralLeader: emma’s in teh sticks
Emma: Cool
Chavi: I imagine Hebrew with an Irish accent is beautiful
YourMoralLeader: only met one jew in her life
Chavi: Yikes! I know how that goes 😀
Chavi: ha ha
Emma: yES SIR
Chavi: Only 6,000 Jews in Nebraska, 60 at my college, and I knew about 10 others my own age who were Jewish
YourMoralLeader: I’m embedding subliminal messages in these rock songs I play on here to prey on Emma.
Chavi: Lol
Emma: lol
Chavi: Emma, we’re awesome, come on 🙂
YourMoralLeader: working so far
Emma: Yep
YourMoralLeader: chavi, what were the toughest parts about becoming jewish? for me it was losing my foreskin.
YourMoralLeader: It’s a sore issue for me.
Chavi: Ha! You actually did the circumcision!? Mazel tov on that. So I’m assuming you converted Orthodox?
YourMoralLeader: yeah, just kidding about the foreskin, i was circumsized at birth and I did it myself! I also cut my own hair
Chavi: For me it was dealing with everyone thinking it was a big joke … and then the whole Christian friends more or less disowning me
Chavi: Phew, lol …
Emma: I can imagine it would be Luke
Chavi: I was worried for a second
Emma: You did it yourself?
Chavi: Even the ritual circumcision hurts my brain
YourMoralLeader: yes
Emma: Liar
YourMoralLeader: i was precocious kid, just 8 days old
Chavi: good thing i have my own office at work
Chavi: else the laughter would garner funny looks
Emma: lol
Chavi: I’m following you via Twitter now, FYI
YourMoralLeader: chavi, have you lost friends, lost touch with friend due to your conversion?
YourMoralLeader: cool!
Chavi: A lot of my high school friends looked down their noses at me. I ejected myself from a forum with newspaper friends from the college paper becuase they were constantly making Holocaust and Jewish jokes and poking at me and my decision
Chavi: But for the most part — the true friends have stuck around
Emma: Thats good
Chavi: Football?
Chavi: Throwin’ around the old PIG SKIN?
YourMoralLeader: is that wrong?
YourMoralLeader: everything I do, it’s a sin
Chavi: With Pesach around the corner, even!
Chavi: For shame …
Chavi: So do you freelance now? Or …?
YourMoralLeader: i blog
YourMoralLeader: and sin
Emma: lol
Chavi: and Yom Kippur is so far away!
Chavi: but *yay* for no hell!
YourMoralLeader: G-d must be angry with you
Chavi: Probably … he’s probably angry at Barack Obama
Chavi: 😀
Chavi: For being so AWESOME.
YourMoralLeader: Didn’t the rabbis teach you to be so pure in thought and word and deed?
Emma: Well thats good no injuries Chavi…
Chavi: Aye. The lesson of lashon hara. I’m a gossip, I know!
YourMoralLeader: You’ve always been the one to blame!
Chavi: I’ll make a good Jewish mother someday
Chavi: Adonai! Forgive me, please!
Emma: lol
Chavi: Take it out on Kansas!
Chavi: I would have said Texas, but I didn’t want to offend Ted
Ted: hahaa! we had our fair share of storms and tornados lately!
Chavi: I can imagine. Has it gotten steamy hot down there yet?
Chavi: Not sure where you are … but man. Austin is so humid and Houston is just downright miserable in summertime
Ted: no, still nice weather between storms
Ted: in the 60’s and 70s
Ted: Hello Mr Putin.
Chavi: Vladimir Putin? Such grace has entered the room!
User VladimirPutin changed their name to ChicagosBestBoy.
Chavi: Chicago’s Best boy?
User ChicagosBestBoy changed their name to VladimirPutin.
YourMoralLeader: Hey Vlad
VladimirPutin: I’m many in one.
VladimirPutin: EPLURBUS UNUM
YourMoralLeader: Chavi, we’ve had ElShaddi and Jesus Christ in here
Chavi: I guess that would make me Chicago’s Best Girl
Chavi: Ha! Have you had Xenu, though?
VladimirPutin: Where in Chicago?
YourMoralLeader: no
VladimirPutin: I wish I had thought of Scientology first.
YourMoralLeader: Vlad, why did you divorce the wife of your youth and hook up with some slutty 24yo?
Chavi: Where in Chicago? Everywhere!
VladimirPutin: Ask Luke about his Emma
VladimirPutin: Where.
YourMoralLeader: I haven’t divorced my wife, Vlad
Chavi: Presently: Hyde Park
Chavi: Typically: Lakeview
VladimirPutin: Surrounded by violent people of color
YourMoralLeader: now now
SweeTCaKesSs: you’re married
VladimirPutin: Chavi, have you ever walked south of 61st street?
Emma: brb
Chavi: Nope, and I don’t care to!
Chavi: Violence = not so much fun.
VladimirPutin: Luke, I see this as God’s way of bringing women to Judaism
YourMoralLeader: chat?
VladimirPutin: Women with the genes the Jewish people need
SweeTCaKesSs: u looked better without the beard luke
VladimirPutin: We have enough people who can argue and do taxes, we need more who are not strangers to water, who can ride horses and the like
Chavi: Vlad has lost me
User Ted left the room.
VladimirPutin: Well Chavi, there is a deep backstory here, and you are new to this.
SweeTCaKesSs: Luke ????
SweeTCaKesSs: 😛 u there?
YourMoralLeader: He’s hot for your shiksa genes/jeans, Chavi.
VladimirPutin: It all begins with a date.
YourMoralLeader: Hi sweetie
Chavi: Indeed, I am new
Chavi: Ha!
SweeTCaKesSs: hiii ;D
VladimirPutin: Also Emma’s.
YourMoralLeader: off limits, Vlad!
YourMoralLeader: Hit on Chavi
Chavi: You know I searched far and wide to find some Jewish genes, and all I could come up with was Huguenot and Quaker genes
SweeTCaKesSs: u looked better without the beard 😛 not saying u look bad though
Emma: lol
Chavi: So you’re interweb predators looking for a hot date!?
VladimirPutin: I have some black in me, for real.
VladimirPutin: I have a test from National Geographic that proves it.
Chavi: Oy …
YourMoralLeader: The others are, Chavi, but not me. I’m taken with emma.
VladimirPutin: No joke.
Emma: 🙂
Chavi: Emma, do you have red hair?
YourMoralLeader: This chat is my way to be a light unto the nations!
Emma: No
Chavi: Phew
User SweeTCaKesSs left the room.
VladimirPutin: People with naturally red hair are the elite of the human race
Chavi: I was always envious of the redheads
Emma: Why?
Chavi: I met an Irishman last week, man alive was he gorgeous
Chavi: Redheads are the most beautiful of them all
VladimirPutin: It is the rarest and fairest of colors.
Chavi: in my opinion
YourMoralLeader: oy, cant stand ’em
VladimirPutin: I toally agree.
Emma: Why Luke
VladimirPutin: The only thing better is strawberry blond hair.
YourMoralLeader: I don’t like that hair color.
Chavi: Brunettes Unite!
Emma: Even strawberry blonde?
YourMoralLeader: unless you have it, Emma, then I would adore it.
Chavi: Pasty skinned brunettes, unite faster!
YourMoralLeader: Not my thing, emma.
VladimirPutin: the best is strawberry blond/copper color red
YourMoralLeader: yuck
VladimirPutin: Luke likes his women hairless anyway
Chavi: ha ha ha ha
Emma: Im naturally strawberry blonde Luke
VladimirPutin: the best!
YourMoralLeader: Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooops
Emma: lmfao!
YourMoralLeader: I’m gonna learn to love it
VladimirPutin: Emma, have my babies and we will make red heads.
VladimirPutin: It could be via artificial insemination
VladimirPutin: FedEx goes everywhere.
Emma: lol
Emma: omg your face Luke
Chavi: I feel like I’m in college
YourMoralLeader: Go West! Life is peaceful there!
ChaimAmalek: Luke, what sort of dinner item do you bring to a seder?
YourMoralLeader: My divrei Torah
ChaimAmalek: I fear you have bread crumbs in your beard
YourMoralLeader: Your sister removed them last night.
Emma: lol
Chavi: Have you guys seen the matzo song video?
ChaimAmalek: Emma, remember to shave off ALL of your hair when you meet luke
YourMoralLeader: no,
YourMoralLeader: link?
Emma: mmm
ChaimAmalek: buy a wig for your head
Emma: lmao
YourMoralLeader: Never listen to Amalek, Emma
Emma: Im not
Chavi: http://mamaloshen.blogspot.com/2008/04/easy-passover-with-matzo.html
ChaimAmalek: Luke listens to AMALEK all the time
Chavi: check it yo
YourMoralLeader: Don’t stop off in NY either, Emma, and tell me later it was to see a friend.
Chavi: (I’m such a blog whore, man)
ChaimAmalek: ha ha
Emma: I won’t Luke
ChaimAmalek: Luke, do you eat rice on Passover?
YourMoralLeader: no
YourMoralLeader: goy
ChaimAmalek: What’s the deal with rice on passover?
ChaimAmalek: like, why can’t you eat it?
Chavi: It’s kitniyot
ChaimAmalek: What does that mean?
Chavi: too much effort … you’d have to search it three times before cooking it
Chavi: It means that the rabbis were in a tissy about confusing the grains and kitniyot
Chavi: So they banned it
ChaimAmalek: Search it for what?
Chavi: To make sure none of the forbidden items got all mixed up into it
ChaimAmalek: Why would they?
Chavi: Because s**t happens, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek: It’s grown in totally dissimilar areas
Emma: Ok I’m off out
ChaimAmalek: Rice and wheat are NOT grown or processed side by side
Emma: Bye people
Emma: Take care xx
Chavi: In some cases they ARE processed in the same places
ChaimAmalek: I look forward to your visit emma
Chavi: Ta ta emma!
ChaimAmalek: OK, what about other grains?
Chavi: The Conservative movement has basically declared the kitniyot rule false
Emma: Keep dreaming
ChaimAmalek: let’s keep it on the down-low
ChaimAmalek: You know, the orthodox can be wrong.
Chavi: you’re watching the video!
ChaimAmalek: For example, this prohibition on using electricity on the sabbath is rooted in ignorance of basic science
Chavi: Yah. Everyone can be wrong
ChaimAmalek: But the orthodox never admit to that
Chavi: Sometimes, dear, it’s about tradition
Chavi: I’m not Orthodox, btw
YourMoralLeader: Not what I hear, chavi.
ChaimAmalek: How can it be a tradition when electricity became an issue only in the 19th Cent?
Chavi: Ha! I’m toying with Mod. Ortho
ChaimAmalek: Rabbis are ignorant when it comes to whatever is not in the Talmud
ChaimAmalek: At least the Satmar etc. are
Chavi: Not the Samaritans!
Chavi: 🙂 They’re Torah only
ChaimAmalek: Chavi do you believe in the torah as the literal word of God, or as a composite text written by at least two authors?
YourMoralLeader: My creed is sola scriptura, sola fide, sola christos
ChaimAmalek: You know, "Lord" vs. "God"
Chavi: I believe that G-d revealed Torah at Sinai, and that it was composed in written form by many authors — that is undeniable
ChaimAmalek: We agree on the latter point at least. How about you, Luke?
YourMoralLeader: Do you believe in female rabbis?
YourMoralLeader: I believe the Torah comes from haShem
ChaimAmalek: They are like unicorns
Chavi: Lol
ChaimAmalek: Luke, do you believe that the Torah in the form we have it was written by two groups of human authors?
ChaimAmalek: Women do not belong as rabbis.
Chavi: I’m not a fan of women rabbis
Chavi: Not going to lie about that one
YourMoralLeader: Ha!
ChaimAmalek: It really is a turn off to see this. Women should be all about arousing their man, which is not proper for a temple
Chavi: Mostly because, in my experience, women rabbis are cold and overcompensating to play with the "big boys"
Chavi: What are you eating?
ChaimAmalek: Nor do I believe in women as RC priests, although I would like to see nuns marry priests
YourMoralLeader: Chaim, Chavi is a lesbian, so stop being insensitive.
Chavi: I am *so* not a Lesbian …
YourMoralLeader: cottage cheese
ChaimAmalek: I don’t believe in lesbians either
Chavi: You know, this week’s parshah fits in nicely with this convo
Chavi: PS: I LOVE COTTAGE CHEESE!
YourMoralLeader: I’m a vegetarian
Chavi: I like steak
Chavi: Mm … steak
Chavi: moooo
Chavi: stab!
ChaimAmalek: Also nowhere does the torah acknowledge the existence of, let alone ban, lesbians or lesbianism
YourMoralLeader: do you like kangaroo meat?
Chavi: Talmud equates the passages to lesbians as well
Chavi: Never had ‘Roo meat
ChaimAmalek: I eat cottage cheese every day
Chavi: SO DO I!
Chavi: Wow
YourMoralLeader: ever gone down under?
Chavi: We’re like, kindred spirits
ChaimAmalek: An entire small carton is my breakfast
Chavi: Aussie’s are the bee’s knees.
ChaimAmalek: With two bananas
Chavi: That’s a mighty breakfast
Chavi: Are you eating breakfast right now then?
ChaimAmalek: And fruit juice, diluted with water
YourMoralLeader: lunch
Chavi: Man, a banana sounds good
YourMoralLeader: I’m gonna starve for the next nine days
Chavi: I must retrieve one
Chavi: Nah, you’ll be fine
Chavi: make some matzo pizza
ChaimAmalek: Dont most jews gain weight over passover?
Chavi: matzo pizza is my favorite thing
ChaimAmalek: DC is a dummp
ChaimAmalek: VIOLENT
ChaimAmalek: I used to live there
YourMoralLeader: anyone in here dated a black man?
ChaimAmalek: Just you
Chavi: Nope.
YourMoralLeader: ur all a bunch of homophobic bigots
Chavi: ha ha ha ha ha
Chavi: DC isn’t *all* a dump
Chavi: There are some nice spaces
ChaimAmalek: It is a grim fact of American life that the greater the fraction of a town’s population that is black, the higher its murder rate
ElShaddai: homophobic bigots?
YourMoralLeader: Chavi, chaim is on good behavior today. Normally he asks every female who enters these hallowed grounds
Chavi: So why the behaving?
YourMoralLeader: how many diamonds they’d be in they worked for the emperor’s club
ElShaddai: I love black people. It’s queers I hate
Chavi: I mostly hate white people.
ChaimAmalek: I love all people who exalt me
Chavi: And midgets.
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, are you white?
Chavi: Yes, I’m white
Chavi: I’m incredibly white
Chavi: I’m burn-your-retnas white
YourMoralLeader: blinging
YourMoralLeader: blinding
ElShaddai: she is white hot
Chavi: Oh yes, ElShaddai
ChaimAmalek: I once asked a Jewess friend of Luke’s this, and she said she was not
YourMoralLeader: how tall?
ChaimAmalek: RACE TRAITOR was she
Chavi: 5’4.5" 🙂
ChaimAmalek: Hyde Park is like a ghetto, is it not?
Chavi: Race is a figment of the imagination. We’re one race. Hippies rule
ChaimAmalek: You can’t go south of f61st, north of 47th, west of Cottage Grove, and east is the lake
Chavi: Hyde Park has pockets of class. It’s got some fancy, rich folk — Obama and Farakkan among them
Chavi: Yah, pretty much
Chavi: I wouldn’t even make the bounds that broad
ChaimAmalek: Does Pastor Wright live there?
Chavi: Probably
YourMoralLeader: Chavi will go anywhere once
Chavi: I don’t know, though. This is why I live in Lakeview, though
Chavi: You know it!
Chavi: Which is why I rode the Green Line into the ghetto the other day just for kicks! (I actually missed my stop …)
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, the most important task for any Jewish women these days is to have many children.
YourMoralLeader: lol
Chavi: I need to get started
Chavi: Turkey baster: Check
ElShaddai: is there a shortage of Jews?
ChaimAmalek: I can send you ampules
ChaimAmalek: Yes, also of white people
Chavi: There is a shortage of intelligent, attractive, sane Jews.
Chavi: JDate just isn’t cutting it
ChaimAmalek: Jdate is craigslist for accountants
ElShaddai: I got laid from JDate—-loved it
YourMoralLeader: tell me more
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ChaimAmalek: yeas
ChaimAmalek: never tried it
ChaimAmalek: they would not let me on
ElShaddai: why not?
Chavi: Yah, the thing about Jdate … is it’s either people wanting to preach to you, or people wanting to get laid
ChaimAmalek: I have to be careful, as some of the ultraorthos want to kill me
Chavi: In DC, I went on 5 dates and 4/5 wanted to hook up.
YourMoralLeader: I hate that
YourMoralLeader: it offends me
Chavi: And the 5th guy? Orthodox and lectured me about why I wasn’t Orthodox
ChaimAmalek: oh please
YourMoralLeader: I’m not just a piece of meat
ElShaddai: is there something wrong with hooking up?
ElShaddai: it seems natural
Chavi: Well …
Chavi: It’s not my bag
YourMoralLeader: it becomes meaningless after the first three decades
YourMoralLeader: It leaves me feeling empty inside
Chavi: If I wanted to hook up, I’d go to a bar and flash my womanly wiles.
ElShaddai: but blogging fills that void, huh?
ChaimAmalek: The only way Jews and White People can win the ongoing struggle for survival and planetary dominance is to be less picky and have more procreative sex
YourMoralLeader: Bjs are out then
ChaimAmalek: yes they are out as are condoms
Chavi: Where are the women? I’m outnumbered here
ChaimAmalek: Women should limit sex to times when they are ovulating, and then if not married, make a point of having sex
YourMoralLeader: Chavi, i apologize for amalek taking us into the gutter
ChaimAmalek: Just like elsewhere on the internet
Chavi: Ha
ChaimAmalek: I am speaking in blunt terms what the Rabbis believe
ChaimAmalek: You see, I want our team to win
ChaimAmalek: But for that, we must have numbers.
ElShaddai: chaim how often do you take one for the team?
ElShaddai: I’m thinking, a lot
Chavi: So what you’re saying, is that I should just start having sex and popping out babies willy nilly?
ChaimAmalek: Palestinian women in Gaza have the world’s highest birthrates. They use their birth canals as cannon, whereas most jewesses (and educated white women) use theirs as toys.
Chavi: I’d be glad to take this task on. If you promise to raise the little heathens and support them.
ElShaddai: Ok its a deal
ChaimAmalek: I want you to see your birth canal used as a gun, firing human projectiles into the future.
Chavi: Hrm
Chavi: Lol …
Chavi: I have one word for you, and that word is OUCH.
Chavi: Men have no idea!
Chavi: Oy
ElShaddai: I really like that phrase- using their birth canals as cannon. Is that original?
ChaimAmalek: If Palestinian women can do it, why not the Jewss?
ChaimAmalek: Yes, in fact it is original to me
ElShaddai: thats awesome
ChaimAmalek: My contributions to this site and its predecessors are legion
ElShaddai: I bet Luke uses that on his Blog
ChaimAmalek: As Luke will affirm
ChaimAmalek: He has
ElShaddai: I’m no stranger to your work
Chavi: Yawn.
ElShaddai: Lets talk about you again Chavi
ChaimAmalek: So Chavi, I suggest you start up a Chaim Amalek study group
ElShaddai: you are much more beautiful than myself or Chaim
ChaimAmalek: Of virtuous single women
YourMoralLeader: Let’s talk about God
ChaimAmalek: Offering them ampules of my mitzvatastic essence
Chavi: Mitzvatastic
Chavi: that’s a great word
ChaimAmalek: I coin many
Chavi: How many of you gentleman are married?
YourMoralLeader: lol
ChaimAmalek: I am married to my faith
Chavi: You must be a priest, Chaim
Chavi: Or a nun
Chavi: Or the Pope
ChaimAmalek: I would do a nun if she were hot
Chavi: Or a unich?
ElShaddai: none of us are gentlemen
User guest27 left the room.
ChaimAmalek: It is true, I am not that "big"
ChaimAmalek: But it all works.
ChaimAmalek: How torah-centric are the Jews of Hyde Park?
ChaimAmalek: Do they all read the NY Times on Sunday and listen to Extension 720 on WGN?
Chavi: I haven’t a clue … as I only work here
Chavi: I come, I work, I leave
ChaimAmalek: You live in Lakeview
Chavi: Yes
Chavi: And the Jews there?
ChaimAmalek: Near uptown?
ChaimAmalek: where is there?
Chavi: Lakeview is incredibly Jewish
Chavi: There’s a reform, conservative and mod. orthodox shul in the area
Chavi: And you?
ChaimAmalek: upper west side of manhattan
ChaimAmalek: There are Jews here
Chavi: Of course there are
ChaimAmalek: I see them, pulling strings
ChaimAmalek: Running banks, TV networks, and oppressing me
ElShaddai: Manhattan has Jews?
Chavi: Running the world, no less
ChaimAmalek: The real ones are in Brooklyn, Borrough Park
ChaimAmalek: And Williamsburg
ChaimAmalek: Where they wear those funny hats
ChaimAmalek: I might get myself a Felty Hat
ChaimAmalek: a stroimel
Chavi: Black Hat jews, eh?
ChaimAmalek: There is a special code, "black hat" does not begin to cover it.
ElShaddai: thats a ska group isnt it?
ChaimAmalek: Jews are not allowed to listen to ska music.
ChaimAmalek: Because it can lead to mixed danicng
Chavi: This is not Footloose
ElShaddai: there can be no propogation without dancing and fornication
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, do you drive to get around Chicago?
ElShaddai: Chavi have you ever been thrown out of a shul?
ElShaddai: Have you been thrown out of TWO shuls?
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, what does it feel like to be a human ovum in a chat room, with every male (sperm) vying for your attention?
ChaimAmalek: ANSWER ME!
ChaimAmalek: PLEASE?
Chavi: D’oh
Chavi: Sorry
ElShaddai: when it comes to vying for attention chavi stands no chance against our Levi
ChaimAmalek: Levi is a Jew’s Jew.
Chavi: No, I don’t drive (no car); never been thrown outta shul; nor two shuls; and I LOVE the attention
ElShaddai: haha
Chavi: Obviously you’re not doing a very good job keeping my attention 🙂
ChaimAmalek: sorry, what did you say?
Chavi: Oh you are *too* funny
ChaimAmalek: I am busy chatting with supermodels on another channel
ElShaddai: Chavi have you ever been threatened with violence by your Rabbi?
Chavi: Lol … no ElShaddai …
ChaimAmalek: Has a rabbi ever come on to you?
ChaimAmalek: What about a rebbetzin?
Chavi: Nope
ChaimAmalek: Judaism needs to sexualize itself
Chavi: Judaism is very sexual
ElShaddai: has a rabbi ever come in you?
Chavi: Sex on Shabbos is a mitzvah!
ChaimAmalek: More fornication, less frumkeit
Chavi: With, you konw, your spouse
ChaimAmalek: if there is a spouse, yes
Chavi: ElShaddai — my gosh
Chavi: Wow
ElShaddai: I’m sorry was it something I said?
Chavi: You’re lucky I take after my mother
Chavi: Who is a gigantic pervert
Chavi: But really, I’m a lady
ChaimAmalek: I don’t hold by this perversion talk
ElShaddai: I was looking at your photo on Lukes site
ChaimAmalek: I speak of procreation, not perversion
ChaimAmalek: Whose photo?
ElShaddai: Chavis
Chavi: There’s a photo of me on Luke’s site?
Chavi: How long has this whole operation been going down?
ElShaddai: Chavi if you are just now learning about Luke/Levi you have quite a shock in front of you
ChaimAmalek: What if the rabbis of LA find out about your shiksa infatuation?
Chavi: This webcam/live chat issue
YourMoralLeader: about 6 weeks
Chavi: HA!
ChaimAmalek: I don’t have a link yet, and I’ve been here for years
Chavi: You don’t have womanly bits, Chaim
ChaimAmalek: Some say that I am Luke Ford
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, you can’t know
ChaimAmalek: But you are right.
Chavi: Is this like an "I am Spartacus" moment, Chaim?
Chavi: You have a fun laugh!
ChaimAmalek: Yes
ChaimAmalek: I am the real Jew of this board.
ChaimAmalek: The only born Jewish male here
ChaimAmalek: I, not Luke, was initiated into the faith by learning to read the Torah backwards
Chavi: "real Jew" — that business irritates me
ChaimAmalek: Luke, Chavi might feel alone in here and put upon.
ChaimAmalek: Maybe Emma wants to join in
ElShaddai: I’m going to be kind to Chavi going forward
YourMoralLeader: Rum is gone for a month with the mrs
ChaimAmalek: Thailand?
YourMoralLeader: yes
DesmondFordJewishSoul: I decided to come out of the closet. I am going to follow the example of my holy son and become Jewish.
FEELtheFORCEluke: i am just me
User guest31 left the room.
ChaimAmalek: The Holy Father is visiting a hoity toity temple this evening
ChaimAmalek: If I had the sort of $$$$$ needed to hang out with those people, likely I would not be in a chat room
DesmondFordJewishSoul: I decided if the Pope could become Jewish. Why not me?
Chavi: ?
ChaimAmalek: Temple Bnai Kesef
User guest33 (69.209.99.236) entered the room.
FEELtheFORCEluke: you look a happy soul yml
ChaimAmalek: I know the origin of that joy
Chavi: I’m just going to sit here quietly for a few minutes.
ChaimAmalek: Careful study of the sacred texts
FEELtheFORCEluke: i dont believe that
ElShaddai: Levi bought Torah as Books on Tape
DesmondFordJewishSoul: Where is Emma today?
ChaimAmalek: How long do you suppose this web cam will exist?
ChaimAmalek: What is your next planned step for riches?
FEELtheFORCEluke: how long is a piece of string
ChaimAmalek: What’s your next book?
Chavi: Who *are* all these people!?
FEELtheFORCEluke: i am me
ChaimAmalek: I have told Luke to write a book "How to Date Beautiful Women and Have Sex with them in LA on $15/day"
ChaimAmalek: It would sell like hotcakes, and that’s no joke
FEELtheFORCEluke: sex always sells
ElShaddai: Chavi what do you mean "who are all these people?"
ChaimAmalek: Yeah, who are these people?
Chavi: I’m just curious how people end up here, how they find this site and such
Chavi: Or are all of you "regulars"
FEELtheFORCEluke: i have been on this site for 2 years now
ChaimAmalek: I found if off a link on the old National Alliance web site
User DesmondFordJewishSoul changed their name to RonaldMcDonald.
ElShaddai: some of us come for exercise tips
ChaimAmalek: The late Dr. William Pierce suggested it to me
ElShaddai: some for moral leadership
ElShaddai: some for romance
ChaimAmalek: I used to think that Luke would help me out where Craigslist failed me, but no such luck
ElShaddai: I learned about it from an old usenet list
Chavi: Interesting. Man I got really sleepy … I came here because a friend said there was this COOL convert guy on the interwebs
ChaimAmalek: That’s what Eliot Spitzer said
ChaimAmalek: Luke, you could be writing books that sell, make money, and let you move on to other projects more esoteric.
ChaimAmalek: But he NEVER LISTENS to my GOOD ADVICE
ElShaddai: so you couldnt find that cool convert and wound up here?
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, what Luke needs is a good Chinese wife to whip him forward
Chavi: He could shoot for an Indian wife
Chavi: they have Jews in India
ChaimAmalek: Yes, that would work too
ChaimAmalek: What do they look like?
ChaimAmalek: Light, dark?
ChaimAmalek: Did they intermarry?
Chavi: I don’t know!
ChaimAmalek: I find that light skinned Jewesses shun swarthy looking jews like me
ElShaddai: swarthy?
Chavi: So what you’re saying is that I should, by pattern, shun you
Chavi: I can handle that
ChaimAmalek: I can take it
ChaimAmalek: Chavi, are you familiar with the sad tale of Lauren Winner?
ChaimAmalek: She was Jewish, until she had a dream, and then she jumped ship
Chavi: Alas, I am not
ChaimAmalek: Then I am guilty of semantic pollution
ChaimAmalek: Forget what I asked
FEELtheFORCEluke: ewwwwwww that sounds messy
ChaimAmalek: I am guilty of much sematic pollution
ChaimAmalek: Especially through this site
ChaimAmalek: Park Avenue Synagogue – that’s where the Pope is headed this evening. Man, I wish I had that kind of dough
Crikey: ur lookin more like Moses every day
Moses: don’t insult me like that
Chavi: Moses!
ChaimAmalek: No, he looks like a Greek Orthodox monk
Crikey: oh sorry didnt know the real one was present
Moses: orthodox monks have longer beards
Chavi: There’s lots of Aussie love here
ChaimAmalek: His is getting there
Moses: he needs another three years
ChaimAmalek: I love those Aussie models, too.
ChaimAmalek: Whatsername and whatshername
Moses: heston and i were talking about this last night
Moses: he finally came home to rest last week
ChaimAmalek: I just read a great book about the Pacific Theater during WW2 – "Retribution" byt the historian Max Hastings
Crikey: any good?
ChaimAmalek: He says that in the latter stages of the war, the Australians totally let down the side
ChaimAmalek: Fantastic
Crikey: well what u expect
ChaimAmalek: As was "Armageddon", about the last months of the 3rd Reich
YourMoralLeader: ye;
ChaimAmalek: REally, both books are great and worth reading.
YourMoralLeader: the only books i have time to read these days,a side from torah, is how to make $$$ online
ChaimAmalek: The Japanese were spectacularly brutal
ChaimAmalek: No wonder everyone in East Asia hates them
ChaimAmalek: Yet today they are a nice people.
ChaimAmalek: Sustained bombing and nuclear attack can do that to a people.
Chavi: You’ve driven YML away
ChaimAmalek: It was his bladder that drove him away
Crikey: prob. wacking off
Chavi: You have a good sense of what Chaim does when he’s away from the cam, Chaim?
ChaimAmalek: I don’t quite understand your question
Chavi: You seemed quite sure he’d gone to the pisser, is what I mean.
ChaimAmalek: Yes, he and I are as close as lips and teeth
ChaimAmalek: Some say we are one
Chavi: And for those with dentures?
ChaimAmalek: Some say he is someone I hired to be me
ChaimAmalek: All lashon horah
Crikey: u know where the urban society of hamsters and beaver proliferate?
ChaimAmalek: Let’s sing a song
Moses: obviously the boy did not clean the hovel for passover
Chavi: Make it simple
Chavi: To last the whole night long?
ChaimAmalek: The Internationale
ChaimAmalek: Arise, ye victims of oppression
ChaimAmalek: For the empire fears your might
ChaimAmalek: Don’t cling so hard to your possesions
ChaimAmalek: For you have nothing if you have no rights
ChaimAmalek: Let racist ignorance be ended, for respect makes the empires fall
User guest38 left the room.
User ChaimAmalek changed their name to guest124.
ElShaddai: chavi its a safe bet he’s gone to the can- thats the only other room in his hovel
Crikey: lol
Chavi: Ahh. So it’s a studio, nu?
ElShaddai: he lives in a converted garage
guest124: Luke, how’s the air ventilation in that apartment?
YourMoralLeader: lol
Chavi: Ha
YourMoralLeader: excellent
guest124: Nothing is far from your toilet
guest40: shalom
YourMoralLeader: I don’t have much of a sense of smell
YourMoralLeader: Shalom 40
Chavi: Assuming the toilet is your mouth.
guest40: shalom Rabbi
Crikey: that wasn’t half bad for an____ u fill in the blanks
Moses: i can see there’s no sweeping moral change going on here
1giantvagina: Moish, want change, go part the sea
Moses: what in the psalms are we looking at anyway?
1giantvagina: the moral change can only be done by the ML
1giantvagina: he is busy now
Moses: busy …as in trying to finally find a job that pays money?
Moses: or …busy as in taking a nap on the floor of that filthy hovel?
1giantvagina: yeah, but first he has to tan that white ass of his so they’ll hire him
Moses: i know a burning bush where he can get that tan…and a lot more
1giantvagina: I wouldn’t now about such things
1giantvagina: Testy, I’m still waiting on you
Moses: honestly, i didn’t know what that was until it turned over
1giantvagina: you’re not so giant anymore
1giantvagina: he needs to be turned every 15 minutes or so
1giantvagina: least he become well done
Moses: i thought it was a baleen whale surfacing for air
YourMoralSchvartze: ths is hysterical
YourMoralSchvartze: why am i so morbidly attracted to this guy’s world?
Moses: the same reason people rubberneck at traffic accidents
Moses: good god! LOOK AT THOSE MOOBS!
Moses: for adam’s sake, man….get out the snapple bottles fast
Moses: i don’t see any change in skin color
andy: hows it goin luke
YourMoralSchvartze: who was that luke
andy: im fine thanks luke
Moses: luke, if you rub some lemon juice on that beard, you’ll start to look like zztop
YourMoralSchvartze: luke you look lost
YourMoralSchvartze: you look asleep at the wheel of life
Moses: then you can sing ‘jesus just left chicago’ to emma all night
Moses: it’s a nice little bluesy song emma, good for a rainy day
Emma: Indeed
YourMoralSchvartze: why is he staring into space?
YourMoralLeader: Emma, is love a flower?
Emma: brb phonecall
YourMoralLeader: is it a river?
Emma: Yes
Pharaoh: No Moses, I will not let your people go.
Moses: luke, have you ever been to colorado?
guest56: The Leader does not leave his kibbutz in California
Moses: god took some extra time in making it…you should go and visit
Moses: they hovel will still be here when you get back
Moses: pick up a map from debbie schwartz
guest56: Was it for this that you spoke to the burning bush?
Moses: ya gotta clean the whole barrel my friend, not just the easy-to-reach places
nanostep: chatting on a web cam all morning is not work!
guest613: he’s not just chatting, he’s turning into a chat cam singer
nanostep: I notice that LukeFord.net is on the lightside post-wise
nanostep: i don’t have audio on my computer, but karaoke is also not work
nanostep: ahem, singing
nanostep: for your supper
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: john denver is going to make a guest appearance
guest613: I wonder if he will dance too?
QuixoticLass: except that he’s dead
YourMoralLeader: Emma, are you California Dreaming?
QuixoticLass: John Denver died in a plane crash
Emma: Yep
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: welll…..thats gonna be creepy then
nanostep: is there any journalism happening
nanostep: where are all of the serious journalists??
guest613: is this flashback to the 60’s?
nanostep: that shirt you are wearing is not becoming.
guest613: how about both sides now?
QuixoticLass: this song was more poignant when I didn’t live in CA
nanostep: i I prefer the black suit
QuixoticLass: he does look good in black
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: boxers or briefs?
QuixoticLass: just wait til he changes his pants, you can see for yourself
guest613: is luke turning into a chabadnik? he looks like he’s going that way.
QuixoticLass: mr rogers changed his shoes, YML changes his pants
jOHNtHEbAPTIST: chabadnik sounds like something you might go to the doctor to have treated
QuixoticLass: that’s a good idea john
guest613: wonder what drug cures you of chabadnikitis?
nanostep: you have three hours left until Shabbat. What do you hope to accomplish before then??
guest62: Why do you want to be a moral leader Luke?
guest63: don’t disrespect the leader 62
guest613: peter, paul and mary night
guest613: where’s puff?
guest63: leavin on a jet plane
guest62: Leaders earn respect 63
guest613: our king left us — oh no!
guest613: he left to visit his royal thrown
YourMoralLeader: 62, piss off bloody peasant
Alexanderthegreat: but the great one is still among you
guest63: The Leaders should not lower himself to commune with the rabble
Emma: lmao!
YourMoralLeader: I only ask that you obey me!
guest63: The same rabble that chose Barabbas!
YourMoralLeader: We made a covenant!
guest63: To save tax?
guest63: I do that too
guest63: O noble leader!
YourMoralLeader: yes my child
guest63: Show us the way!
guest62: Sorry been away for a comfort break rather like leader who seems to be only human himself
guest613: he’s going to tell you to look into his eyes.
Alexanderthegreat: —————–> that way
YourMoralLeader: peasants!
guest63: 62 you offend the leader
guest62: I only look into the eyes of females
User guest66 changed their name to patrick.
Emma: Patrick?
guest613: the way of what though?
Emma: Hey!!
guest613: I look and see nothing. . .
guest63: 62 go home to your wife
patrick: hay si
guest62: Who says I have or need a wife
Emma: Did you get my emails?
guest63: shame on you 62
patrick: yes
guest62: Why?
Emma: Luke meet my brother Patrick
Emma: 🙂
guest63: you deny your own wife
YourMoralLeader: No emails Emma
YourMoralLeader: Hey Patrick
Alexanderthegreat: hi patrick
guest613: 62, maybe you would want to be like Rebbe Gafni. he says you should divorce you wife after a few years and find anot
patrick: but kind dont under stand how to set up the google ad word thing
guest62: Do you need another person to give your own lifw meaning?
guest62: I have no idea what a goy is please explain
guest63: a non-jew
YourMoralLeader: Emma, email me your mailing address and I’ll send Patrick some CDs with more info
YourMoralLeader: snail mail
guest62: I am not a jew why does that matter? are you?
Emma: Snal mail?
guest63: I only ask for information
YourMoralLeader: regular postal mail
patrick: im so sorru luke i just dont get in kinda goes over my head
Emma: I only have hotmail and yahoo
guest63: Hail to the Leader !
guest62: We are all equall before God are we not?
guest63: no
YourMoralLeader: Where do you get regular mail? with a stamp Emma?
guest63: some are chosen
guest62: Yoy may not be I am
Emma: Oh
mee: hi luke x
Emma: My home address?
YourMoralLeader: whatever works emma
guest63: Bow down before The Leader !
YourMoralLeader: sheesh, who knew it would be so complicated
guest613: bow down????
guest62: Leader how much do you pay 63?
guest63: yes – show respect
guest62: I want to know how much
guest63: go home to your wife
patrick: im back
guest62: You seem to have a problem with this wife thing
guest613: is it a mitzvah to bow down to our leader?
Emma: I just didn’t get you
YourMoralLeader: lol
guest63: yes it is 613
patrick: luke u mind me asking u some thing
Emma: Snail mail lol!
YourMoralLeader: go ahead patrick
guest613: how many mitzvah points do we get
guest63: The Leader tolerates your foolishness
guest63: The Leader is patient
guest62: So it seems
guest63: The Leader sees all
guest62: No he does not I don’t have a cam
guest63: 62 was it for this that Moses broke the tablets of stone?
guest613: 62 he can see you without a cam. All you need to do is look into his eyes
frodo: strange very strange
guest62: NO he was pissed off with the jews for worshiping idols
guest63: do not look directly at the leader
frodo: well that made him laugh
guest71: nice jesus look you got coming on there
guest71: give it a few more weeks and you’ll be ready to crucify
frodo: camstreams is his land
guest71: tragic loss to the world of moral leadership eh
guest613: you made my day. You must be the one and only. . .
guest63: the rattle of empty heads
guest71: respect for what, or to whom 63?
guest63: silence the Leader may wish to speak
guest613: can you sing it too?
guest71: what do you think he will say 63?
guest63: fall on your knees before the leader
guest71: what pearls of wisdom do you suppose he might impart?
guest613: I was lost and now I’m found. Who knew the magic of puff and Luke
guest63: The Leader will not be pressured
guest613: so 63 belongs in Temple Beth Ignore.
guest71: hence why I don’t come here much, unless I am in need of a good s**t and I need inspiration
guest63: blasphemers
guest63: infidels
frodo: yeah yeah we will all burn in hell
guest613: everyone, silence our leader is singing about the magic of puff
guest63: shame on you all
guest63: Hail to the Leader – Lion of the desert
frodo: no wonder luke keeps laughin then ehh
guest71: to see such intellect backing the lower echelons of their own…..I find it somewhat comforting
guest613: 63, our leader is speaking the words of the one and only, the master of the universe
guest63: Frodo there are more things here than in all your abuse
guest71: kinda tells me that however dumb a c**t you may encounter, there’s always a dumber one around the corner
guest613: what about blowing in the wind?
guest63: The Leader is gracious enough to laugh at your obscenities
guest71: either that, or he don’t f**king understand them 63
frodo: does he laugh at yours too
guest63: show gratitude
guest613: wow our leader is amazing
guest71: has this dazzling concept occurred to you by chance?
guest63: anyhow I have a business to run
guest613: he knows where the answers are. ..
guest613: it’s not just about looking into his eyes
frodo: wow that suprises me
guest63: I cannot waste more time on these goyims
guest613: wow, a pesach song — blowing in the wind
guest63: The writer of that song is a jew
guest63: shoe respect
guest613: the writer of the song wrote it knowing some day our leader would play and sing it to us.
guest63: Enough of your empty prattle
guest613: wow, now I understand the universe — our leader spoke the truth
This is the short version of my path toward Judaism, up to the present. I could go on for hours about my 8th grade teacher and his unit on the Holocaust or the people at South Street Temple who have influenced my walk, my halakhic adventure. But I’ve chosen to make this as precise as possible, detailing the moments where my heart and mind met and told me that this was who I was.
When I was in the fifth grade, I spent two weeks crying myself to sleep every night. I would stare at the ceiling, tears running down my face, asking questions and hoping someone or something would answer. I was talking to a G-d I knew little about, and asking the big questions about what my purpose was and what would happen when I died. I spent two weeks scared to death of dying, and every night I would ask the same questions, and I would spend my days in class filled with fear. I didn’t talk to anyone, I didn’t discuss it with my parents, and it was the first time I began to question what I believed. I was a child, but I knew there was something out there for me and I was determined to discover what it was. At the end of those two weeks, I was different, but I didn’t know how. I understood that death wasn’t what I was here to pursue, and it no longer scared me. I was changed, but as a child, I didn’t quite understand how.
I grew up in the Bible Belt in southern Missouri, where everyone was white and the golden rule TED-Karen-Armstong-Profile was as religious as my family got. My exposure to religion and faith was through my friends – all from families of devout Christians – and I spent my summers at Vacation Bible School with friends. I saw crucifixes on my friend’s bedroom walls and sat silent watching families as I sat at their dinner table as they thanked G-d and Jesus for the delicious meal we were to eat. I never fit in, and when I couldn’t sleep at night I’d poke through the Bible my parents had bought for me. I would read all the begettings, the Exodus, the parting of the Red Sea and so on. But when I got to the crucifixion and New Testament, I was perplexed. I couldn’t comprehend this idea of a G-d who would give himself a human body and sacrifice himself for the sins of those of us on Earth. My G-d expected more of individuals, expected us to do good here in order to reap the benefits in whatever afterlife was to come.
When I hit middle school, we moved to Nebraska and I grew to resent organized religion. I saw the giant churches in town and didn’t understand how anyone could expect to have a personal relationship with G-d if they were viewing a telecast version of the sermon. It wasn’t until high school that I took a gander at Christianity. It was all I had known growing up, but even then I’d just scraped the top of the barrel. All my friends in high school were devoutly Christian and I took on many of their habits and joined many Christian organizations. I would go on weekend praise and worship trips to small Nebraska towns, but it was never about Jesus for me. It was social – a chance to meet new people. But I couldn’t live with the thought that we must spend our entire lives living solely for the pursuit of getting into Heaven. And I got tired of trying to force myself to believe in something I hadn’t believed in since I was so young. I grew weary of no one being able to talk, discuss and argue about the finer points of the Bible with me. No one was willing to waiver – the answers to my questions from friends and pastors were always, “Because that’s what the Bible tells us.” Frustrated from my inquiries, I began to re-explore my own faith and develop my beliefs in my own way.
When I went to college, I lost most of my high school friends. I was exploring my religion, and they were sticking with what they grew up with – most of them weren’t willing to wish me luck in my journey. I found a friend in a devout Christian who would talk to me well into the night about religion. He didn’t tell me I was wrong, and rather listened to what I believed. We discussed, debated and I started to find myself curious about my beliefs. I took an “Explaining Religions” class my first semester, which would take an issue and discuss how each religion touched on that issue. I found myself looking at Judaism as if I were looking in a mirror. It suddenly hit me that this was something I should explore, so I began to buy books on Judaism and conversion, and I read book after book. I probably went through five books in just a few months. I then started taking Judaic Studies courses and quickly decided I would minor in Judaic Studies. In “Introduction to Judaism” I found myself in the tribes. In “Jews in the Middle Ages” I found myself amid the persecution of Jews in Europe. I had thought for the longest time that there was no community for me and that my beliefs couldn’t be matched anywhere – I was worried that I wouldn’t fit in anywhere and that I was alone on my walk.
In 2003 I decided that I wanted to convert. I was so immersed in Jewish culture and religion, but I lacked the reality of the experience. I knew few Jewish students and I was reluctant to go to synagogue because I knew no one there. I continued to read and immerse myself in whatever books I could find, and in August 2004 I began attending South Street Temple with a friend from school. From the moment I stepped into the Temple, the at-home feeling I got while reading and learning hit me. The congregants welcomed me, and I started attending Shabbat services every Friday and going to Torah study on Saturday mornings. I started keeping mildly kosher and began observing the holidays, while working with South Street Temple’s then-rabbi Debbie Stiel on conversion. But it wasn’t until Rabbi Ilan Emanuel arrived in 2005 that I really felt as though conversion were in my future. I got heavily involved in Hillel and started to attend events in Lincoln and Omaha with Jewish 20somethings. Most recently we went to the Chabad House, and to be honest, I’ve never had such a wonderful time before. The singing and prayers and service and food and community made me feel so alive in my Jewishness and Judaism.
My belief in one G-d and the ideal that what we do here in this life is most important to our community and selves is something incredibly important to me. Finding a community that shares my basic beliefs while also being willing to discuss, argue and hypothesize about all things also is incredibly important to me. I have spent so much of my life having my questions answered with simple “Because it says so,” that finding and being a part of a community that is in constant pursuit of something gives me so many reasons to feel alive. I feel unsettled when I don’t make it to synagogue on Fridays – my week can’t begin or end without knowing that I’ve had my time to make peace with the week. I learned very early that prayer allowed me something unique.
"This guy knows all the gossip, the ins and outs, the lashon hara of the Orthodox world. He’s an [expert] in... all the inner workings of the Orthodox world." (Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff)
"I noticed the shortage too! I live in a very Jewish neighborhood…..near Pico/Robertson…closer to Pico/Fairfax. At my "ghetto" Von’s, there’s usually a huge Passover display in the front of the store. This time, there was a small display with every kind of matzoh EXCEPT Manischevitz! I ended up with some delicious Israeli wheat matzoh for my kugel. I’m thinking of eating tortillas the rest of the week. They aren’t leavened, right?"
was as religious as my family got. My exposure to religion and faith was through my friends – all from families of devout Christians – and I spent my summers at Vacation Bible School with friends. I saw crucifixes on my friend’s bedroom walls and sat silent watching families as I sat at their dinner table as they thanked G-d and Jesus for the delicious meal we were to eat. I never fit in, and when I couldn’t sleep at night I’d poke through the Bible my parents had bought for me. I would read all the begettings, the Exodus, the parting of the Red Sea and so on. But when I got to the crucifixion and New Testament, I was perplexed. I couldn’t comprehend this idea of a G-d who would give himself a human body and sacrifice himself for the sins of those of us on Earth. My G-d expected more of individuals, expected us to do good here in order to reap the benefits in whatever afterlife was to come.