Luke Ford

Join the fun:

palestine4ever:  I do notice he’s changing shirts more often.
Emma:  The less a girl knows him?
ChaimAmalek:  Luke knows that he can use a petroleum based lubricant on his condoms, thereby assuring their failure during coitus
palestine4ever:  Has he discussed his vaginophobia with you, Emma?
YourMoralLeader:  oy
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, Holly Randall WANTS your seed.
palestine4ever:  These are important things for couples to talk about.
YourMoralLeader:  we only talk about god and stuff
palestine4ever:  oy?
ChaimAmalek:  He has no such fear, that was a bit that I made up and emailed to him that he posted under his name.
YourMoralLeader:  goy
palestine4ever:  I mean, it’s easy to get Yiddish and skinhead language confused
ChaimAmalek:  Holly is feeling the march of time
palestine4ever:  But it could save you some trouble if you ever do time
palestine4ever:  Holly still communicates with him, which I find odd
ChaimAmalek:  She years for Luke’s jack-booted sperm to storm their way into her uterus, planting the flag of Aryan Manhood into her ovum.
palestine4ever:  But then I’ve known girls whose best friends are made up entirely of men who they have once pleasured but no longer do
QuixoticLass:  lovely
ChaimAmalek:  She is getting guidance from her father.
Emma:  mm
palestine4ever:  "the flag of Aryan Manhood" = lol
ChaimAmalek:  Luke is an Aryan.  I am a semite.
ChaimAmalek:  I have never been able to use my rod to direct women to Judaism.
QuixoticLass:  Judaism already has very attractive women
palestine4ever:  name the most famous converts to Islam?
palestine4ever:  Queen Noor = babe
ChaimAmalek:  The Torah does not discriminate on the basis of a woman’s looks
palestine4ever:  Arafat’s wife = babe
palestine4ever:  Cat Stevens = okay, he’s a troll, but he had groupies who were cute
ChaimAmalek:  What about Barak Obama’s wife?
Chavi:  You people forget that I have a job 🙂
YourMoralLeader:  We’ve missed you
YourMoralLeader:  Job, what’s that?
YourMoralLeader:  did you find a seder?
Emma:  Hi Chavi
palestine4ever:  speak of the Gollum
ChaimAmalek:  Might you be interested in being the first to bear Luke’s child?
Chavi:  Yup! Ended up at an Orthodox seder
YourMoralLeader:  sheesh
YourMoralLeader:  how was it?
YourMoralLeader:  was it long and hard?
Chavi:  After spending the weekend with my friend and her kids, no children, no children EVER! 🙂
Chavi:  It was actually pretty awesome — but yes, it lasted about 5 hours
palestine4ever:  Luke, Luke, Luke
Chavi:  And we weren’t even plastered
ChaimAmalek:  Which woman will be the first to invite Luke’s jackbooted Aryan sperm into her uterus?
palestine4ever:  I’ve seen the picture with Kiki. Long and hard do not come to mind
YourMoralLeader:  headline
Chavi:  Emma the She-Man?
palestine4ever:  CATFIGHT IN THE CONVERTED JEW’S ROOM
Emma:  What?
ChaimAmalek:  No, Holly Randall
ChaimAmalek:  Holly is the one with the inside track.  Plus, she’s a short drive away.
Emma:  hmmm
palestine4ever:  Chaim is taking bets since he’s got Hassid mafia connections
ChaimAmalek:  And she’s nearing thirty.
Chavi:  Everyone having an easy pesach?
ChaimAmalek:  HOLLY RANDALL WANTS A BABY
Chavi:  Noshing lotsa matzo?
ChaimAmalek:  Mine is super easy
Emma:  She man?
Emma:  lol
palestine4ever:  What did I say?
palestine4ever:  WHAT DID I SAY?
QuixoticLass:  She-ra
YourMoralLeader:  I think she meant that as a compliment, Emma. I hope so.
ChaimAmalek:  I’m more woman than man
palestine4ever:  palestine4ever = PROPHET
ChaimAmalek:  My petzel gets smaller with every monty.
ChaimAmalek:  month
palestine4ever:  This one has too much angst to be a good convert.
palestine4ever:  You want the ones that look good and walk four steps behind their man.
ChaimAmalek:  Some days it seems my member has inverted in on itself
palestine4ever:  I’m a liberated guy myself
palestine4ever:  but it’s indisputed that it works
Chavi:  Angst?
Chavi:  You’re not talking about me, are you?
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, if Holly appeared at the Hovel and demanded procreative sex from you, would you turn her down?
ChaimAmalek:  I say not.
Emma:  Chavi… she man?
palestine4ever:  Yes, you, angsty convert.
Chavi:  HA!
Emma:  Didnt you notice I was here?
ChaimAmalek:  Stop biting one another like this.
Chavi:  Chomp
Chavi:  Chopm
Chavi:  Chomp
palestine4ever:  Of course he wouldn’t
Chavi:  Pac-man style
ChaimAmalek:  Remember – eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap, and there is plenty of the latter to go around
Chavi:  You know the interesting thing about the seder I was at
Chavi:  is that many of those at the table were men
Chavi:  in their 40s/50s
ChaimAmalek:  Losers
Chavi:  all single and some divorced
Chavi:  Imagine that
ChaimAmalek:  Double losers
Chavi:  So many lonely men
palestine4ever:  That’s interesting but hardly surprising.
Chavi:  And they can’t find any women
YourMoralLeader:  Chavi, what did you mean by calling Emma a "she-man"?
Chavi:  WHY oh WHY?
palestine4ever:  It’s a dying religion.
QuixoticLass:  because they’ve forgotten the value of bathing
palestine4ever:  Your future is the enthusiastic but vapid rumblings of your average shiny happy Hillel student.
ChaimAmalek:  I wish to abort this invidious conversation by discussing instead the murder rate amongst the colored of Chicago
CarlNKarcher:  It’s not a dying religion. People are marrying late if they are marrying at all.
ChaimAmalek:  That makes it dying
palestine4ever:  Preach it, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek:  The future belongs to the young and the fecund
Chavi:  I was being snarky. Has anyone ever met Emma? Her photo looks like such a typical MySpace photo that could have been pulled from anywhere!
Chavi:  Call me a skeptic 🙂
Emma:  Whoa hello i am here Chavi
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  Oy ve! Chavi
Emma:  Gee Wizz
Chavi:  🙂
YourMoralLeader:  I have seen Emma on her cam. She is all woman.
Emma:  Someone dosn’t like me
ChaimAmalek:  Hence we see the death of Italy and much of the rest of Christian Europe, as they are replaced by fecund Muslims from Africa and Pakistan
CarlNKarcher:  Chaim, the MOs and the Litvoks are reproducing themselves with vigor.
Chavi:  I’ve just run into a lot of … fake people on the interweb lately
Chavi:  LOL OMFG
QuixoticLass:  according to Elliot Dorph, you should get married early, have lots of kids
QuixoticLass:  or is it Dorff?
CarlNKarcher:  Why lots?
QuixoticLass:  Dorff
ChaimAmalek:  Yes, but not the rest of Jewish world, and certainly not White America
palestine4ever:  America is destined to be a new Brazil, with little Aryan pockets here and there.
QuixoticLass:  to make up for those who don’t
ChaimAmalek:  Holly Randall knows this in her heart
QuixoticLass:  So I did that
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, give Holly a call right now
CarlNKarcher:  I think we aren’t getting married becauuse we are unusally rough on one another.
ChaimAmalek:  Tell her to come to this cam now and I will talk her into having procreative sex with you
CarlNKarcher:  The singles’ scene in the Jewish world is horribly cruel.
ChaimAmalek:  Don’t wast another of her good Aryan eggs.
Chavi:  Be back. Need to restart the computer.
Chavi:  Have fun, kids.
User Chavi left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  CarlnK, tell us something we don’t know.
palestine4ever:  Luke had it all
ChaimAmalek:  It is doomed to fail, as it arises after when people should mate off
CarlNKarcher:  Gravity was invented by the Chinese.
CarlNKarcher:  How is that?
palestine4ever:  He could have been a great enabler for her addictions rather than recoiled from them
palestine4ever:  After seven years, he still doesn’t know how to be a suitcase pimp.
User guest17 left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Luke has free access to Holly’s womb.  And she is used to the idea of a woman supporting her neerdowell "writer" of a husband
CarlNKarcher:  Chaim…..were you raised in the Yeshivish velt?
palestine4ever:  She’d work while he could sit at home on cam all day
ChaimAmalek:  I am a product of Telshe Yeshiva
palestine4ever:  I don’t think so, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek:  Indirectly
CarlNKarcher:  Chaim…so you gonna do any Mussar on us?
ChaimAmalek:  I have been doing this all along
YourMoralLeader:  Who wants my seed?
palestine4ever:  Emma doesn’t talk much.
Emma:  hello!
palestine4ever:  Hi!
ChaimAmalek:  Today, Luke Ford must call Holly Randal and invite her over
palestine4ever:  That’s better.
palestine4ever:  🙂
QuixoticLass:  emma talks when she has something to say
palestine4ever:  And what of you, QuixoticLass?
ChaimAmalek:  After he has impregnated her, he can invite Emma over and repeat.
CarlNKarcher:  I didn’t know Emma had so many representatives.
YourMoralLeader:  lol
QuixoticLass:  you people just have diahrea of the hands
ChaimAmalek:  QuixoticLass, if you are female, are you fertile?  Maybe you can squeeze another one out for the team?
palestine4ever:  How do you fit into our plans to Secure an Income for Luke Ford and a Future for his Unborn Children?
QuixoticLass:  I’ve squeezed out 4 already
Emma:  lol
QuixoticLass:  that is sufficient
ChaimAmalek:  Then a fifth one is just a 25% change for you
ChaimAmalek:  Just look at that goyishe punim.  How could you say no?
QuixoticLass:  well, I’m working on the income, but the kids are his problem
PostIronic:  I want to refinance my home mortgage now, where o’ where shall I find guidance?
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, how many white babies are you willing to commit to making?
User frodo left the room.
Emma:  1 or 2… or 8
ChaimAmalek:  8!
palestine4ever:  I don’t know but Spruce Industries has great cleaning products, PostIronic.
ChaimAmalek:  This one is a keeper.
QuixoticLass:  I’d sell an egg and rent my incubator for 40K
ChaimAmalek:  After you impregnate Holly and break up with her again, hook up with Emma.
Emma:  lol
palestine4ever:  QuixoticLass: SOLD!
QuixoticLass:  hahaha
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, if he won’t, I will.  Or I would if I could
Emma:  Ok Chaim
QuixoticLass:  plus maternity clothes, I must be well dressed
ChaimAmalek:  All the time that you ladies spend here when you could be pregnant upsets me
PostIronic:  Do you have a girl friend Chaim?
ChaimAmalek:  Absolutely not
PostIronic:  or wife?
ChaimAmalek:  Nope
User guest19 left the room.
QuixoticLass:  I’ve been pregnant for 3 years of my life, no one should have to endure that
User guest18 left the room.
PostIronic:  been divorced?
palestine4ever:  hahahahaha
ChaimAmalek:  QC, I would if I could, but I cannot.  If not you, then whom?
ChaimAmalek:  I am really a virgin.
ChaimAmalek:  Never been with a woman
PostIronic:  Are you really a female?
ChaimAmalek:  Who?
PostIronic:  Chiam?
palestine4ever:  facepalm.jpg
ChaimAmalek:  Might be.
ChaimAmalek:  Sometimes I feel like a woman…..weepy, depressed, thinking of voting for democrats
PostIronic:  ChaimAmalek, are you really Luke’s wife?
palestine4ever:  Vote Alan Keyes
ChaimAmalek:  Luke and I are as close as lips and teeth
ChaimAmalek:  When Luke sexes Holly, I feel that i am right there
PostIronic:  Well, you can’t be the same person, since he is not typing and you are.  So not a fancy web ventrilloquist…
ChaimAmalek:  ha ha
YourMoralLeader:  Post, how were your seders?
ChaimAmalek:  naive you folks are
palestine4ever:  Especially when he blogs about it during the act.
PostIronic:  The second night seder was surreal.
YourMoralLeader:  How so?
palestine4ever:  Chaim is the Eliza of Luke’s life.
Chavi:  So I’m trying to figure out
ChaimAmalek:  Why can’t they invent a flexible matzo?
Chavi:  Why is it that you post all the chats on your web site?
Emma:  Its fun to read after
YourMoralLeader:  just the good bits
Chavi:  Chaim — Flexible matzo = matzo + water
palestine4ever:  Because he’s earning a living one click on a compost ad at a time.
ChaimAmalek:  not soggy, flexible
Chavi:  But the point is for it to be miserable to spread Temp Tee on!
YourMoralLeader:  what’s that?
Chavi:  Temp Tee = breakstone’s brand of whipped cream cheese
ChaimAmalek:  I have boxes of Tam Tams to sell.
Emma:  Tam tams?
palestine4ever:  It occurs to me that just about every question in this room can be answered with the phrase "Some crazy Jew thing."
PostIronic:  The hosts were lovely. Their apartment was small. The restroom was in the hallway, four feet from the dining room. I let go a loud shofar-like fart. Followed by stacato accents… pa rum rum rum rum , eya eya eya…
ChaimAmalek:  Jewish tampons for the desicated
Chavi:  Tam Tams, alas, weren’t made Kosher l’pesach this year
YourMoralLeader:  charming, Post
Emma:  aha
PostIronic:  I had to violate the hog and turn on the fan.
QuixoticLass:  most pesach products are just matza in different sizes
ChaimAmalek:  Why must Jews so often be so vulgar?
palestine4ever:  I’m shocked and appalled.
QuixoticLass:  "violate the hog" hahahahaha
Chavi:  You guys are a lot more vulgar than any jews I know 🙂
palestine4ever:  And I mean, I grew up with relatives buggering the family pets.
PostIronic:  They were laughing, but when I got outside they were the perfect polite company. all straight faced.
Chavi:  Mazel tov on that one
QuixoticLass:  please, do not violate the hog!
YourMoralLeader:  Post, how about the first night seder?
YourMoralLeader:  Did the bad man touch you?
palestine4ever:  Point it out on the doll
PostIronic:  I blame the "sandwich" we had to eat of schmura matza
PostIronic:  it was hard to get down, as we had the special $20 a slice sephardic soft matza…
PostIronic:  flown in from NJ overnight post
Chavi:  Oh man … I got a box of shmura matzo free at the shul on Friday
Chavi:  It tasted like tortilla chips
palestine4ever:  No way
Chavi:  Way
QuixoticLass:  I spent $20 on matza this year
palestine4ever:  You did not.
Chavi:  yikes
PostIronic:  Oh, tortilla chips don’t have a mitzva
PostIronic:  I spent $20 on matza
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, what has any of this to do with horses?  Nothing.
PostIronic:  handmade
QuixoticLass:  that was for 10 boxes
palestine4ever:  I’m pretty sure giving it away violates some bit of Torah.
Chavi:  why did you need 10 boxes of matzo?
CarlNKarcher:  http://www.jewishinstlouis.org/page.html?ArticleID=137163
palestine4ever:  Exactly, let’s go back to Luke’s quest for normalhood
CarlNKarcher:  Check it out; I just got the link.
ChaimAmalek:  I can smell Holly Randallll ovulating even from this distance.
QuixoticLass:  8 days of Pesach + 4 kids = need a whole lotta matza
PostIronic:  One box of matza, pizza size
ChaimAmalek:  QC, where do youlive?
QuixoticLass:  who is QC?
ChaimAmalek:  you
QuixoticLass:  I’m QL
PostIronic:  On the first night of Pesach, I tried to make a kosher le Pesach pizza
palestine4ever:  When Holly ovulates in California, there’s a monsoon killing orphans in Bangladesh
YourMoralLeader:  lol
palestine4ever:  It’s that powerful.
Emma:  lol omg
palestine4ever:  Luke, I will be frank with you.
ChaimAmalek:  If Luke were a real man, he’d get in that damn vanofhis, drive over to her home, and plant the flag in her womb. That’s what I would do.
palestine4ever:  I’ve never had a woman that looks like Holly.
palestine4ever:  The chances of you ever getting that prize again are, I’m afraid, very remote.
ChaimAmalek:  I met her once.  She is a real sweety
palestine4ever:  BUT
palestine4ever:  You don’t need to reinvent the wheel.
Chavi:  I clicked away … but matzo pizza = my favorite thing
Chavi:  I’ve had it for two meals already this week
palestine4ever:  Just swallow your pride, say some therapy brought out the best in you, and CALL HER NOW.
ChaimAmalek:  She’s tall, blond, smart, physicall and mentally strong, good natured, has exactly the yiccus (family honor) that Luke needs
PostIronic:  I should have made quessadilas
ChaimAmalek:  PLO, I agree
PostIronic:  Luke, that music sucks
Chavi:  Ever done … JDate?
ChaimAmalek:  horrors
Chavi:  Matchmakers are big, you know
Chavi:  Find yerself a yente
palestine4ever:  Thank you, JDL
ChaimAmalek:  I’ve answered ads on Craigslist
YourMoralLeader:  yes, I went 0 for 120 in my month there last August
Chavi:  I know two jews married after meeting on Craigslist
YourMoralLeader:  and I was on the cover of the Jewish Journal and still couldn’t hook up
Chavi:  it can be done
ChaimAmalek:  This is why I know Luke should have gone after Holly
ChaimAmalek:  Holly has it all.
User PostIronic left the room.
Chavi:  Maybe people are intrigued by you and then come here and see your saucy mannerisms and run for the hills!
QuixoticLass:  do you think it had anything to do with what was written about you on the inside of the Jewish journal?

alestine4ever:  And you’ll get Humphrey in the bargain
palestine4ever:  You two can go out and discuss your morals and ethics while your women are shooting porn
ChaimAmalek:  Humphrey is like Luke, only older
PostIronic:  If the Jewish Journal won’t buy an ad on your blog, and you make their calendar girls squirm, it should be obvious that it’s not a win-win relationship
YourMoralLeader:  anyone here need SEO work or refinance?
PostIronic:  First night of Pesach I made dinner in my new apartment.
PostIronic:  the sink backed up.
palestine4ever:  Well, and he’s more sartorial, but that hardly needs to be mentioned
Chavi:  You didn’t seder first night PostIronic?
Chavi:  you missed a mitzvah!
PostIronic:  but I had a wonderful matzo ball soup
palestine4ever:  You have something more interesting to discuss, like matzo pizza?
Chavi:  Kugel maybe?
PostIronic:  I don’t know how to make kugel
Chavi:  It’s easy
Chavi:  as
Chavi:  YML getting laid
Chavi:  HA!
PostIronic:  I refuse to use potato starch pasta
YourMoralLeader:  Post, you need to learn how to please a man
Chavi:  but not
PostIronic:  I’m a man and I’m straight
palestine4ever:  I’ve been in this room 12000 times and I still have yet to hear you folks discussing your plans for ZOG
PostIronic:  You need to learn how to please a man
palestine4ever:  hahahaha
palestine4ever:  YML = GOD
PostIronic:  Can we have other music?
PostIronic:  God doesn’t listen to KLOS
PostIronic:  KLSX
Chavi:  ZOG?
QuixoticLass:  God listens to Jack
palestine4ever:  If Allah created everything, then Allah has listened to everything
palestine4ever:  so yes Allah has listened to KLSX
YourMoralLeader:  Emma likes this song, so there
palestine4ever:  Yes, ZOG.
Emma:  🙂
palestine4ever:  You and Luke don’t get it but Chaim knows all of the handshakes.
PostIronic:  Emma, do you like the Go-Betweens from Australia?
PostIronic:  They are awesome
PostIronic:  Emma, what else do you like?
Emma:  def leppard
PostIronic:  The thing with Levi is that he will just play the same thing over and over again
Emma:  Only the good songs
Chavi:  My fingers still smell like Garlic
Chavi:  This is deeply distressing
Emma:  Oh dear
PostIronic:  ?
Chavi:  Anyone know how to get garlic off the hands?
PostIronic:  Chavi
palestine4ever:  Soap.
PostIronic:  lemon juice
Chavi:  I made Sephardic spicy fish last night … and it involved garlic
Chavi:  I’ve seriously washed my hand 5 million times
PostIronic:  Yummy!
Chavi:  The food was good. The smell on my hands? Not so much
QuixoticLass:  Post is right.  lemon juice
Chavi:  What if I meet my beshert and he goes to kiss my hand
Chavi:  and BAM! GARLIC!
PostIronic:  parsley oil will also get rid of garlic
palestine4ever:  Why do you eat Jewish food now that you’ve converted?
Chavi:  I made the fish because it’s Pesach
QuixoticLass:  Chavi, any strong acid will do
Chavi:  Hrm. Thanks, QL
Chavi:  I will have to give this a go when I get home
palestine4ever:  I mean, it’s just food.
PostIronic:  Doesn’t look like I will be learning about how to refinance my mortgage now.
palestine4ever:  What if you’re an astronaut and have to eat from a tube?
Chavi:  I’m not following …
Chavi:  Are you offended that I sometimes eat "jewish" food?
palestine4ever:  Will Allah of Jahweh or G*d as some of you crazies call him hate you for drinking Tang?
PostIronic:  Fry’s electronics has astronaut food and I have to say the freezedried stuff is not bad
Chavi:  I would hate me for drinking Tang
PostIronic:  Yay!
PostIronic:  Go-betweens!
Chavi:  😀
palestine4ever:  I’m offended by almost everything
QuixoticLass:  freezedried ice cream is yum
Chavi:  I’ve had the freezdried ice cream
Chavi:  Stuff is tasty!
PostIronic:  oh yes – freeze dried ice cream!!!
palestine4ever:  That’s almost a tolerable musical selection Luke
YourMoralLeader:  Post, don’t you have computer work to do? like making a 404 page for a friend?
palestine4ever:  HOLY s**t IT’S A CUP
palestine4ever:  WHEN DID LUKE START USING CUPS
QuixoticLass:  omg freeze dried dippin dots as a breakfast cereal…
palestine4ever:  I’M GONE FOR 2 WEEKS AND EVERYTHING GOES TO HELL
Emma:  lol
PostIronic:  I have to meet up with my dad right now in the valley. and hear about his mortgage refinance at e-loans
Chavi:  swish
Chavi:  swish
Chavi:  swallow
PostIronic:  no thanks to RefinanceMortgageNow.net
User QuixoticLass changed their name to ThanksForUsingAGlassYouCAveman.
palestine4ever:  LOL
Emma:  lol Lass
palestine4ever:  It’s a mug, even
ThanksForUsingAGlassYouCAveman:  details…
palestine4ever:  This is a huge step up in Project: Educating Luke Ford
User ThanksForUsingAGlassYouCAveman changed their name to QuixoticLass.
PostIronic:  that music is not erotic for me…
Emma:  Woop!
palestine4ever:  Okay, I’ve got some naming of the Jew to do
Chavi:  dropping like flies they are!
PostIronic:  that music is crashing my browser…
PostIronic:  hint hint – we are exiting in droves
ChaimAmalek:  AMALEK never leaves
ChaimAmalek:  He is here in all of your hearts always
ChaimAmalek:  He is immortal.
PostIronic:  Chaim how will Levi make some money and support as wife?
PostIronic:  Is it through the mortgage refinance industry?"
ChaimAmalek:  who did we pick to be his wife?  If it is Holly, NO PROBLEM
ChaimAmalek:  She is self supporting and used to the idea of a woman supporting her man
ChaimAmalek:  Holly, if you are out there, will you marry me?
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, how does this sound to you.  You get Emma, and I get Holly
PostIronic:  Well it should be someone in Wellness
PostIronic:  Levi is in Wellness
ChaimAmalek:  That way, everyone is happy
PostIronic:  Is Holly in Wellness?
PostIronic:  Emma?  are you in the Wellness phase of your treatment?
YourMoralLeader:  hey, watch it Post
ChaimAmalek:  What is all this wellness talk?  Sounds like an HMO
Emma:  Treatment?
PostIronic:  s a joke
Emma:  ok
ChaimAmalek:  This chat thing does not let me go up and see the early stuff
ChaimAmalek:  QL, if you no longer do procreative sex, does that mean that you are celibate?
ChaimAmalek:  How do orthodox Jews work that?
PostIronic:  Why are you playing all of this seduction music and not Dennis Prager reruns??
Emma:  Chaim.. you seem to love the subject of sex even though you are post sexual
ChaimAmalek:  Prager is a pansie.  Most of those conservative faux hawks are, you know
ChaimAmalek:  Old men remember the dreams of their youth.
PostIronic:  maybe Prager was just a phase
ChaimAmalek:  I can be limp as a noodle, but still rememberdreams of pretzel days
Emma:  lol
QuixoticLass:  I no longer date Orthodox men, apparently.
ChaimAmalek:  My nickname was "Rolled Gold"
ChaimAmalek:  (for the benefit of Emma, that’s the name of a brand of petzel snack)
Emma:  Gotcha 😉
ChaimAmalek:  What sort of man do you date?
QuixoticLass:  they tend to label themselves "spiritual but not religious"
ChaimAmalek:  Diamond dealers?  Bankers? 
PostIronic:  This is stripper music
QuixoticLass:  whatever that means
ChaimAmalek:  Orthodox are religious but not spiritual
ChaimAmalek:  Spiritual means "I am willing to have sex with you and then talk aobut it"
QuixoticLass:  I did date a diamond courier
Emma:  lol
QuixoticLass:  but not a dealer
ChaimAmalek:  Is it true they hide their jewels in their private parts?
QuixoticLass:  i have a 2 felon limit, no dealers
ChaimAmalek:  I want to marry Holly
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, set her free for me
PostIronic:  Have you bought her a ring?
ChaimAmalek:  If she sees you marry Emma and move to Ireland, then maybe I got a chance
QuixoticLass:  no they do not hide them in their private parts
QuixoticLass:  they carry guns, big ones
Emma:  lol
PostIronic:  Emma, have you gotten a marriage proposal before?
ChaimAmalek:  I wish I carried a big gun
Emma:  Nothing serious
QuixoticLass:  most men do, chaim, you’re not alone
PostIronic:  Has anyone who has proposed marriage offered to support you?
Emma:  No..
ChaimAmalek:  I have heard that Luke is well armed
ChaimAmalek:  If I had large shvanze, bidde bidde biddebum, I wouldn’t have to work hard, bidde bidde bidde bidde bum
PostIronic:  I’m hungry dammit!
ChaimAmalek:  All day long I’d blog, and women would say "Pardon me, rev Chaim"
PostIronic:  hungry!!!
ChaimAmalek:  Small penises are half the reason why white men go after Asiatic women
ChaimAmalek:  The others being their look and character and values
ChaimAmalek:  I’ve never even gone yellow.
ChaimAmalek:  QL, have you ever miscegenated?
ChaimAmalek:  Has anyone here every miscegenated?
PostIronic:  so small penis = asian wife?
QuixoticLass:  my kids all look like me, you’ll never know
ChaimAmalek:  Half the time, this is what men are thinking.  "My penis is too small to please the sex in the city watching white woman, so I will find a smaller aSian woman"
ChaimAmalek:  That’s why Holly hit it off with Luke.
PostIronic:  what about kimora simmons (russell simons)
ChaimAmalek:  Each was right sized for the other.
PostIronic:  http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&resnum=0&q=kimora+simmons&um=1&ie=UTF-8
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  ok luke .. I have to be honest .. the only reason I come to this site . its that your beard … I need to check back on it.. being a man of grizzled stubble myself!
PostIronic:  YAY!!!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  you should change the name of this site .. to LukeBeardwatch.com
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  btw .. since KarkKarcher is online .. is there a free burger in this crap! 🙂
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  interest rates are going down!  … r u high? 😉
Chavi:  What’d I miss …
Emma:  Not much Chavi
Chavi:  Phew
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  what is this an infomerical! .. stop luke .. we want porn and blogging!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  this is not the wall street journal report! 🙂
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  lol
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  comedy is my real talent!
YourMoralLeader:  http://refinancemortgagenow.net/blog/
YourMoralLeader:  here’s my baby
PostIronic:  woo hoo!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  f that .. we want porn and blogging . get back to what you do well! 🙂
PostIronic:  yes!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  yes .. can I borrow a million dollars interest free .. I promise I’ll pay it back! .. really I promise!
PostIronic:  tell me about e-loans vs. countrywide
PostIronic:  well……
PostIronic:  heh
PostIronic:  ok – i have to go to the valley
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  moral leader .. do you have 2 italian guys name vinnie and guido wokring for your new loan op?
Chavi:  so …
Chavi:  what’s up with the commercial stuff here?
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  what kind of freak’n football is that? ..
Chavi:  i mean, as much as i like listening to luke talk …
ChaimAmalek:  The irony is that unless he marries into money, Luke will never be in any position to buy a house.
ChaimAmalek:  Only HOLLY RANDAL can save Luke from this grim fait!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  bank robbing is always an option!
Chavi:  ha ha ha, Chaim
Chavi:  You know, people are burning down their houses a lot these days because of the mortgage crisis
ChaimAmalek:  HOLLY RANDALLLLL is the cure to all that ails Luke
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  sugermommas.com …  luke’s next big web adventure!
Chavi:  okay
Chavi:  i’m leaving
Chavi:  ta ta, y’all!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  fyi … luke you should hook up with my boyfriend .. Yanni Raz mortage broker ..
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  can u spare a dime brother!  ..  GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!  .. (she’s not a human being!)
ChaimAmalek:  He will end up like . . . . . . .
ChaimAmalek:  sad
ChaimAmalek:  so sad
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  money.. money.. money .. honey…. 
ChaimAmalek:  Best thing that could happen to Luke right now is this:
ChaimAmalek:  Holly does an intervention, bursting into his home wth some Mexicans
ChaimAmalek:  They scoop up his few valuables, carry them into her waiting Escalade.
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  best thing that could happen to luke right now .. is THREE words .. RAZOR .. SHAVING CREAM!
ChaimAmalek:  Then they chloroform Luke, ala "The Case of the Manicled Mormon"  (Google it)
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  ROCK AND ROLL CHOOOCEEE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
ChaimAmalek:  He awakens in her home, with Holly standing over his head demanding his sperm
ChaimAmalek:  He agrees, marries her, and that’s that
Emma:  scary
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  LUKESPERMDONATION.COM .. THE NEXT BIG NET WINNER!
ChaimAmalek:  Then just to guard against backsliding, they burn down his hovel
ChaimAmalek:  And torch his van
ChaimAmalek:  So luke is totally dependent on Holly for housing, food, and sex.
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  burn the hovel .. burn it down .. burn the whole damn thing back down! (repeat verse!)
ChaimAmalek:  Everyone knows I’m right about this. 
ChaimAmalek:  Even Emma can see the logic.
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, your only hope is to appear at his door with three stout Irish lads to kidnap Luke for yourself.
ft the room.
ChaimAmalek:  So luke is totally dependent on Holly for housing, food, and sex.
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  burn the hovel .. burn it down .. burn the whole damn thing back down! (repeat verse!)
ChaimAmalek:  Everyone knows I’m right about this. 
User Emma left the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Even Emma can see the logic.
User Emma (84.68.234.17) entered the room.
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, your only hope is to appear at his door with three stout Irish lads to kidnap Luke for yourself.
ChaimAmalek:  Just google "The Case of the Manacled Mormon" to read about the condign fate that Luke needs
Emma:  blah
YourMoralLeader:  You guys are weirding Emma out and she’s the reason people come here.
ChaimAmalek:  yeah that suggests a new line of business.
ChaimAmalek:  Renting hot chix to appear in chat rooms to attract the nerds
ChaimAmalek:  ALso, what is QL, chopped liver?
ChaimAmalek:  I wish Holly were here.