How Can You Figure Out Your Purpose In Life?

I heard an Orthodox rabbi recommend that before you go to bed, you reflect back on the holy moments of the day when you felt most alive. Write them down. They’re a guide to your purpose in life.

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I Have A Friendly Face!

I feel isolated much of the time. Standoffish. Most people, I don’t feel much inclination to get to know them.

I frequently feel lonely in a crowd. I’ll go to a conference one weekend and there might be only one or two people there (out of 500) that I connect with intensely. I’m attracted to a certain type of person — an intellectual. People who don’t read books, they don’t usually interest me.

So I was quite happy to hear the other day in shul from a stranger who turned out to not read books that I have a friendly face.

I think that by letting go of needless tension, I’ve let go of some barriers that I had erected between myself and others and so I’ve become more alive to the moment. When your forehead is furrowed and the skin around your eyes and lips is contracted and tight, you’re going to be set in certain facial postures, which will inhibit your ability to react freely in the moment.

When you let go of postures, you’re much more free. Your face will reveal what you’re thinking and feeling.

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NYT: Even Critics of Safety Net Increasingly Depend on It

The New York Times considers this matter wondrous. How can people who want to reduce government welfare spending take government welfare?

I see no contradiction. I might wish that my wife not make a particular dish every week, but if she insists on making it, I might still have a piece.

I might want the government to reduce welfare spending, but if I am eligible for the funds, I should act in my self-interest.

The government sets the rules and it is up to the individual to adjust to them as best he can (and to work to change the bad rules). The government may spend money on all sorts of things I oppose. My not taking a particular government benefit is going to have negligible effect on the government providing such benefits.

I may support gun control, but if the government won’t or can’t control guns, I may own a gun to protect myself in my community.

What’s so complex about this? It’s not hypocrisy. It’s living the best you can in the world as you find it, not as you wish it.

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Gunther Plaut Was 99

The Jerusalem Post headline is: “Reform Movement mourns passing of Gunther Plaut”

Well, I think more than just Reform Jews mourn the passing of this congregational rabbi and Bible scholar.

One of the first Jewish books I read was Gunther Plaut’s Reform Judaism chumash (five books of Moses with commentary). Dennis Prager recommended it along with the Orthodox Rabbi Joseph Hertz chumash.

I appreciated Rabbi Plaut’s clarity but was not persuaded to follow him into Reform Judaism.

I did hear Rabbi Plaut lecture at Stephen S. Wise temple one Sabbath circa 1995. He was short and clear and energetic. He moved like a boxer. The words just tripped over his tongue. He was a polished speaker, but not persuasive to me in any area where I did not already agree with him.

Though Rabbi Plaut was erudite and eloquent, he was hampered by representing a thin religion. It’s really hard to get excited about Reform Judaism, which has far more in common with the moods of modernity than with the Torah.

I remember meeting Reform rabbis at Stephen S. Wise (not on the payroll of the temple) who self-identified as atheists.

One lunch, Dennis Prager introduced me to the Mexican help as “the most religious member of his profession.”

My profession at the time was writing about a certain scandalous sector of the entertainment industry.

The Jerusalem Post reports:

Reform Judaism on Friday mourned the death of Rabbi Gunther Plaut, the author of commentaries on the Torah and Haftarah that became standards in the religious movement.

The rabbi passed away last Wednesday at the age of 99 and was laid to rest in Toronto.

“Rabbi Plaut was an incredible teacher and rabbi far beyond the flocks he led at his congregations,” said Union for Reform Judaism president- elect Rabbi Rick Jacobs. “Millions of Jews have come to learn our sacred stories under his guiding hands. His legacy will continue on for generations of Jews around the world.”

Plaut’s best known work is The Torah: A Modern Commentary, which was first printed in 1981 and is now in its 13th edition. The book has sold nearly 120,000 copies to date and is used in most Reform Jewish congregations in North America.

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How To Sit Comfortably

Alexander teacher Ariel Weiss tells interviewer Robert Rickover: “I want to debunk the myth of sitting still. We’re not designed to sit still. People get in trouble when they stiffen themselves and make themselves still when they sit.”

“I ask people to take a break. Set an alarm on your computer. The computer is a place where people [often] sit for long periods of time without any attention to themselves and they become still and stiff.”

Robert: “Just the idea that one should find a right position is counterproductive.”

Ariel: “If I talk about finding movement in sitting, I hope to detour that myth that I am going to show them the right position. There’s free movement and good balance but there’s always movement.”

“I ask people to open up their sensory mechanism. When people sit, they’re often engaged in a task and narrowing the information they’re letting in. When people are at the computer, they are often so focused on the screen in front of them, they’re not letting in other information (perhaps through their auditory or tactile sense).

“I’ll ask my students to notice their feet on the floor. What surfaces of them are contacting the chair that is holding them up. The back of their legs? The bottom of their pelvis? Perhaps their arms are on the arm rest?”

“I would ask them to notice where their weight is being supported and let the chair be a good partner. A lot of time when we sit, people pull down and collapse and put their weight on to their lower backs or bellies, or even more strangely up in their shoulders.”

Robert: “Lifting themselves up.”

Ariel: “Or pulling themselves forward.”

“We want the weight of our skull balancing over the weight of our pelvis. If we’ve pulled our head forward in space, we’re then balancing our head out over the ether. We’ve put our neck muscles to great effort to hold on for dear life. If we pay attention to where our head is, then our neck has more of a break and it is not going to pull on our shoulders and arms as much.”

Robert: “That pattern of putting the head forward in space is exacerbated for many people by video displays and computer screens. There’s a tendency to want to get your eyes closer to what you’re looking at. When you do that, the head is no longer in balance. You have to hold it up. That requires a lot of work.”

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Alexander Technique And Beauty

Thinking about writing on this topic, I Googled “Alexander Technique and beauty” the other day and found no consequential results.

Nobody that I can find has written on this topic.

Call me shallow, but I not only prefer to look at beautiful people rather than ugly people, I much prefer to be around beautiful people rather than ugly people.

Beauty just makes me happy while ugliness brings me down.

Unnecessary tension patterns are ugly, even if the underlying framework of a person is handsome. People with stiff faces, postured expressions, furrowed brows are usually not fun to be around.

By contrast, many of my Alexander teachers were in their 60s and I found them most pleasant. Some days I just wanted to hug them. The Technique did not remove their wrinkles and the other signs of age, but they were so alive to the moment, so spontaneous and free in their movements, they were beautiful.

When we stop interfering with ourselves, when we stop pulling down and in, when we stop unnecessarily holding ourselves, when we let go of needless stiffness and tension, then our real selves can blossom. We can create the life we want.

One of the major areas of the body where people hold excess tension is in the face. A tense face is not attractive. By contrast, when people stop furrowing their brows and tensing around the eyes and lips and jaw, then they can come alive. It’s intoxicating to talk to a person who’s alive to the present moment and you can see their thoughts and feelings write themselves across their face.

Jennifer, an Alexander teacher, comments: “I rarely say anything about this to my students (for many reasons), but just a few weeks ago, I was teaching an 84-year old woman, and at the end of the lesson I held up a full-length mirror so she could see herself in the mirror. I was so taken by her image that I spontaneously and joyfully gushed, “Now that’s a BEAUTIFUL woman!” It was nice to see that she barely reacted to the comment, but was pleased by seeing her own image.”

Alexander teacher Franis Engel writes: Height is statuesque – and it’s standing up to your full height that Alexander Technique offers a way to do without it appearing forced or arrogant. Learning grace under pressure by showing how to redirect reactive habits that tend to pop out during stressful situations. Using A.T. as a tool in your bag of tricks shows off confidence and feeling at ease in an open and flexible countenance – that’s attractive and inviting.

Symmetry is beautiful. As you age, things happen that tend to make a person’s face and body posture asymmetric. Even a temporary injury can leave a person with the “battle scars” of being incompletely healed. By knowing Alexander Technique, you have a way to train yourself out of being lopsided – a way that doesn’t sacrifice the pursuit of beauty for increased suffering.

By the time you’re fifty, it’s said that you have the face you deserve. Often I thank my first Alexander Technique teacher. Seeing the hint of knitted and raised eyebrows that popped out to show others my concern, he would reach up and draw his finger across my forehead. I never knew I was doing this to my face until the moment he would point it out; he never blamed me for not being aware of it. Now that I’m in my mid-fifties with an unlined forehead, I give a little thanks to how he showed me Alexander Technique could train the worried look out of my face.

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Escaping From Your Life

I’ve never done any kind of illegal drug. I’ve never smoked marijuana. I’ve never felt tempted to indulge this way.

I’ve never led a dissolute life. While I’ve hung out with dissolute people at times, I’ve not participated in that life.

When I took up the Alexander Technique, I learned a term called “debauched kinaesthesia.” That’s a term for when you’re a mess. You’re head is not balanced on top of your spine. Your spine is compressed. You have all sorts of interfering tension patterns. You may be stooped or compressed or unnecessarily tight. Your movements are not fluid.

I’ve noticed that debauched kinaesthesia often goes with a debauched life. People I know who use cocaine, for instance, are not poised and elegant in their movements. They’re stiff and jerky.

People pursue debauchery because they’re not happy with their lot. They want to escape their life. They’re unhappy in their body.

If they were to take Alexander lessons, they would slowly let go of unnecessary tension and would likely begin to behave in a more sane and elegant way.

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Christian Certitudes About Jews

I hate dealing with ignorant people who want you to confirm their stupid prejudices. One category in this obnoxious set are unlearned Christians who have all sorts of unfounded beliefs about Jews.

One such man called in to Dennis Prager’s radio show today. Dennis was far more gracious than I would have been.

Eric in Littleton calls: “There’s a question I’ve always wondered about and I’ve wanted to ask you this for years.”

If it is a question you’ve always wondered about, why haven’t you Googled it?

Eric: “As you know, all present day Jews are descended from the original 12 tribes of Israel as revealed in the Bible.”

Well, I’m a present-day Jew and I’m not (knowingly) descended from any of these tribes. I’m a convert to Judaism. There are millions of Jews out there who are either converts or descended from converts or the descendants of non-Jews who raped Jewish women.

I guess it is the certitude in Eric’s voice as he spews his ignorance on the air that I find so annoying. It’s just so familiar to me. I grew up a preacher’s kid. My dad specialized in apocalyptic and he drew all sorts of weirdos who had these loony views they forced us to listen to. I hate being stuck listening to idiots.

Eric: “It is my understanding that all of those records have been lost to history so that no Jews these days knows that detail of his heritage. Is it common in today’s world for Jews to be curious about which tribe they come from and do you give any thought to that?”

Dennis: “I come from the tribe that consisted of the most troublemakers.”

“It never once arose [in my upbringing]. There’s no question that Christians are more interested in that [the 12 tribes] than Jews are. Religious Jews are more preoccupied with living what God wants from them than the question you posed. It’s probably not knowable.”

“The one group of Jews who know which tribe they come from are the priests. The Cohens.”

I’ve never met a Jew who was concerned with the tribe he came from (aside from the Levites and Cohens).

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Is Contentment A Good Thing?

In my Christian upbringing, contentment was a big virtue. You were supposed to be satisfied with whatever you had in physical possessions and career success and the like. You weren’t supposed to strive to be a big shot.

I grew up a Seventh-Day Adventist and that lifestyle tends to create contented people who don’t accomplish much in the world. If every Adventist in the world disappeared tomorrow, the world would hardly notice. Things would go on. We would not be missing any top scientists or economists or painters or novelists or industrialists or politicians or generals. We would be without 16 million people whose primary focus is on the next world.

If you spend time on a Seventh-Day Adventist campus or step into an Adventist church, you’ll enter a spiritual retreat and the more deeply you accept Adventism, the less this world matters.

I never liked this very much. I’ve always been interested primarily in this world.

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “I don’t believe contentment is a good thing. Acting happy is a good thing. A positive disposition is. Seeing the best in every situation is a good thing.

“I’m not content. I don’t believe that anybody who accomplishes anything is content. I’m not content with almost anything. I don’t know why you’d be spurred to any excellence in life if you were content.”

I converted to Judaism in 1993. I find Jews to be much less content than the Adventists I knew. Jews are strivers. They’re focused on this world and making changes here. Jews tend to be high-achievers. Jewish life is competitive. In the Adventism I knew, “competition” was a dirty word.

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How To Deal With Anxiety

Even though I keep telling my students I am not a therapist, some of them use me in that way. As we work with Alexander Technique, they find themselves releasing unneeded tension and at the same time releasing emotions. The two work well together. Emotional release tends to lead to tension release and vice versa.

Many of my students battle with anxiety. When their boss reprimands them or a girlfriend gets on their case, they become anxious. They ask me what to do.

“Free your neck,” I say. “You may not know what that means but you do know its opposite. You know what a stiff neck is. You know what it means to tighten your neck. So check in with your neck a few times a day and see if you are tightening or stiffening or holding it. And when you can, let go of that unnecessary tension.

“All negative thoughts require a tightening of the neck. You can’t feel sad or depressed or anxious or afraid unless you tighten your neck, clench and pull down. Every emotion requires a particular alignment of the body. As long as your neck is free and your head is poised on top of a lengthened spine, you’re not going to be disabled by anxiety or depression. And when you find yourself stuck in sadness or anger or some other unwanted state, you have the means now to let go of that unnecessary tension and take up your full space in the world and operate from a position of poise and grace. This will transform the way you relate to yourself and to others.

“I can’t tell you why you’re tightening your neck unnecessarily. You probably learned these habits from family and friends. I can’t tell you why you get anxious around other people. I can’t deconstruct the thinking that leads to poor self-esteem. I’m not qualified. I can show you how to move more easily and gracefully and when you do that, many of these other problems thin and disappear.”

How did the Alexander Technique come to be mistaken for therapy or treatment?

Imogen Ragone writes out three reasons for this confusion:

Alexander Technique teachers use touch to help guide their students, and so the Technique can be confused with bodywork. The use of the hands, however, is just a teaching tool, and is used as an adjunct to verbal instructions, demonstration and other visual cues. Touch helps the teacher have a better understanding of what is going on in the student, more precisely than observation alone. For the student the teacher’s hands enhance awareness, and guide an experience of movement so the student can more accurately interpret the teacher’s demonstration or verbal instruction.

While part of a lesson is spent learning ways to bring more ease and efficiency of movement to a variety of different activities (from everyday movements such as sitting, standing and walking, to a more specialist activity tailored to the needs of the student), the other part is often spent lying down on a massage-type table while the teacher uses touch to help you let go of tension. Superficially this may seem quite similar to various types of bodywork or therapy, but, while the student is more passive, it is still a learning situation in which the student is asked to use awareness and conscious thought. In fact, the student is learning very important skills in letting go of unnecessary tension. Indeed, if we can’t first learn to do this lying down, there’s not much hope of being able to do it in the middle of a complex activity.

You invariably feel better after an Alexander Technique lesson than you did before! After all, this is a lesson in which you study and practice letting go of unwanted and unnecessary tension, both lying down and in various activities. Students often report feeling lighter, taller, more relaxed and at ease in their body.

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