Category Archives: Personal

Uh Huh, Uh Huh

"So how did it go?" "He did a little dance, made a little love, got down tonight. Whoo hoo. I gave him a hug." "Did you really?" "Of course not. I’m not a fag." "I’m so sad for you. "What … Continue reading

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Don’t Take Revenge

I’m studying Sefer HaChinuch — a 14th Century working enumerating all the mitzvas in the Torah — with a rabbi. Today we studied the mitzva of not taking revenge. If someone does something bad to me, I want to hurt … Continue reading

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I Feel Dirty

Somebody used to come into my chatroom with the name "Disco Duck." This person would always ask me to dance. So, thinking DiscoDuck had to be a sheila, I’d do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. … Continue reading

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I Hate To Say Goodbye

When I get an urge to leave the group, I usually just leave without saying goodbye. I’m often the first to get to shul and the first to leave. I don’t like waiting around to talk to people because that … Continue reading

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Bake A Cake

"When’s your next appointment?" she asked. "Tomorrow afternoon," I said. "Do you want to bring him something?" "No." "I want to bake him a kosher bunt cake." "No. Nothing you can make is kosher." "You could oversee it." "No." "You … Continue reading

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Better To Be A Flea On A Lion Than The Leader Of Mice

From my live cam chat: guest27:  Hey Luke, I saw your video on why you converted to Judaism and chose Orthodoxy. I converted to non-Orthodox Judaism myself but I am seriously considering an Orthodox conversion because it also seems like … Continue reading

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I Fear I’m A Lousy Lover

I’m watching the movie American Gangster. The cop, played by Russell Crowe, is making love to his lawyer while carrying her around a kitchen (she’s facing him with her knees around his hips, you get the picture?). He puts her … Continue reading

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She Got Drunk With Luke Ford

Leah Kleim posts: Its Memorial day weekend. Since Friday afternoon across America road blocks have been going up, grills fired up and of course the American way of celebrating/vacationing has been put into play…Binge drinking ! Being an American I … Continue reading

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Women Should Wear Lip Gloss

I like a woman’s lips to be shiny and wet. I like to watch them pout and apply the gloss. Blotting doesn’t do anything for me. I also like signature kisses on correspondence. I’m not really into the red hooker … Continue reading

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Who Wants To Watch Movies With Me?

I’m so very tired. Exhausted tired, not sleepy tired. It’s gloomy out and gloomy in. My hovel smells of the wintergreen oil I put on my aching elbows. I’ve been to the video store and I’ve got: * The first … Continue reading

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