Roland Arnall Memorial Service At Sinai Temple 1 PM

Roland Arnall was the godfather of subprime lending and Shalhevet’s major benefactor.

He left behind a wife and a blind son in Pico/Robertson who claims to be a rabbi.

Steve Katz emails:

I hope you are attending the memorial for Roland Arnall.  If so, you will certainly get your facts right.  If you read any of the numerous obits that ran this past week, you would have known that Roland leaves two children, a son Daniel and a daughter Michelle and a second wife Dawn.  His son is battling Hodgkins Lymphoma and he lives in Beverly Hills near Pico Robertson – perhaps minor points but all contrary to your postings.

Also, Daniel got simicha from Rabbi Abner Weiss that some look down upon, but then again for some the only good simicha is simicha they got or the one their Rabbi got. Despite what many loshan hora mongers say about Rabbi Abner Weiss, he can learn most Rabbaim under the table with one eye closed.

If you are trying to build journalistic credibility, despite your lack of journalistic credentials, a suggestion might be to check your facts before you post.

A simple Google search might be a good and easy place to start.

Joe emails: "I am sure Rabbi Weiss can learn every L.A. rabbi under the table. He figured out how to make himself a non-cohen so he could marry a divorcee! Now that is talent!"

Steve responds: "Please spread the word that the next time people have a Halachik question, they should email Joe, as he is certainly an authority on Jewish law and Jewish gossip."

Jane emails:

Rabbi Daniel Arnall, is a very fine person. He is frum and yet open minded. A very humble person. You could not tell that he is coming from such rich family. A real good soul. He had to overcome many disabilities: learning disabilities, sight issues and a serious medical illness. He exhibits humility, warmth and kindness. I could not pick a better and more authentic Ben Torah for the Chv’ruta learning. Rabbi Arnall is married to a lovely young woman. She is wheelchair bound. They are the parents of the loveliest little boy. To see the love in this home… The home is open to everyone for a Shabbat meal. Rabbi Arnall or Daniel as we all know him, has a sister. She is not frum. He mentioned that when he wanted to encourage some reluctant young student to spend a Shabbat meal with them.

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‘Your —– Goes Up And Down Like WiFi’

Ding, ding, ding. We’ve got signal! We’ve got a strong signal.

Oh no, we were dropped.

They turned on their security.

Let me go over here.

No signal.

Hmm. I’ll walk around the neighborhood looking for WiFi.

I’m picking up signal!

Hey! You’re putting on tzitzit! You can’t do that. Do you think any of your Orthodox friends do that when they’re putting on tzitzit?

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‘Are You Homeless, Mentally Ill Or Deranged?’

Saturday afternoon, a friend of mine was taking a nap in her crowded car at the LA Public Library on Overland — Rancho Park.

A strange man (a high school AP English teacher) approached. "Are you OK?" he asked.

"I’m taking a nap," she said.

She scowled.

He came back later. "You look like either you’re homeless, mentally ill or deranged?"

"He has you on all three," I said later.

She replied to the stranger: "No! I’m converting to Judaism. I went to synagogue earlier."

They ended up exchanging phone numbers.

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Is It Weird To Sit At Home On A Saturday Night And Wait To Be Complimented On My Homeless Appearance?

From my live cam chat:

guest21:  Even KSEX is better than this. And they are off the air.
GROVER:  u frm  texas els?
ElShaddai:  Yes I am Grover
ElShaddai:  I love the dry heat
ElShaddai:  It reminds me of the Promised Land
GROVER:  ok so ur not frm texas
ElShaddai:  what is this- opposite day?
ElShaddai:  I left Cali behind
ElShaddai:  like Soddom and Gommorah
ElShaddai:  Like Luke left porn, so went I
guest32:  Dude, you look like an escaped mental patient. Sorry, but it’s true.
ElShaddai:  on a dusty roadside
ElShaddai:  the road to Damascus
GROVER:  deja vu els
guest25:  pensive tonight
ElShaddai:  did we meet on the road to Damascus Grover?
guest25:  smile…. please 🙂
GROVER:  never been to isreal els
ElShaddai:  Luke vanity will be your undoing
YourMoralLeader:  true
guest32:  Is this what a crisis of faith has delivered you to?
guest33:  I mean no disrespect sir, but I can hear you, I was wondering if you might say something
guest25:  no snacks?
User YHWH left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  yes 32
YourMoralLeader:  no snacks
YourMoralLeader:  i’m full
guest25:  of what?
guest32:  Staying at home on a Friday night, waiting for someone to praise you based on your homeless style appearance?
YourMoralLeader:  You’re probably wondering why I asked you all here tonight?
YourMoralLeader:  yes!
User zenmanxpt changed their name to YHWH.
GROVER:  that the best u  can do els?
guest33:  Yes, I heard that. Wasn’t that Mike and the Mechanics?
YHWH:  why have you asked us here?
ElShaddai:  Whatcha mean Grover? I can do all things
YourMoralLeader:  I have a message
GROVER:  hahaha
YourMoralLeader:  I want to make you fisher of men
guest32:  Pull the other one PLEASe
ElShaddai:  you shoiuld be that fisher, Luke
YourMoralLeader:  Go forth and preach the gospel of Luke!
guest32:  holy s**t
ElShaddai:  whya rent you?
User guest28 left the room.
YHWH:  ok that was funny luke
YHWH:  the gospel of luke
ElShaddai:  the Gospel of Luke … oh vey
YHWH:  well give us the gospel
GROVER:  i reeled im in 4 ya luke
YHWH:  if you want attention you have to get back into porn
YourMoralLeader:  thanks grover
guest32:  He laughs, he spaeks, but does he have an opinion tonite?
guest25:  fluke
guest25:  gone fishing
YourMoralLeader:  is that wrong?
YourMoralLeader:  should i embrace my wounded inner child and how?
YHWH:  you speak a lot abotu morality, yet you never hold forth on moral matters
YHWH:  why are you not more like YOUR moral leader and windbag Dennis Praeger
User guest34 changed their name to nanostep.
GROVER:  give example  yh
ElShaddai:  only when he posts his own opinion will he become a moral leader
ElShaddai:  right now he is the leading cut and paster
YHWH:  how the hell did you talk them into letting you convert
GROVER:  and get  a real name yh
guest32:  Ok, counting hits for a night or two is one thing, but speak or be ridiculed ENDLESSLY. Oh wait, you already are. Never mind….
nanostep:  is there audio? say something… test test test
YHWH:  more Air Supply!
nanostep:  the audio quality is crappy unless you are close up
guest25:  more carpenters
ElShaddai:  we hear you- as I heard you at prayer earlier
nanostep:  did you return that other web cam?
ElShaddai:  and the answer is still no
YHWH:  thank you luke
YHWH:  all i need is youtoo
guest33:  You mustrealize, that having a live streaming web cam, such as you do, you are bound to get a bail load of disbelievers. That being said, how do you deal with it? I mean besides God’s word. If you don’t mind my asking, whatdo you get from this?
nanostep:  do you deserve a "miracle?" have you earned it? 
guest25:  I believe
YHWH:  he has a narcissistic personality disorder
ElShaddai:  guest33 he gets attention
ElShaddai:  and all Luke needs is attention
YourMoralLeader:  true
ElShaddai:  he craves it
guest25:  he deserves it!
nanostep:  he’s no a narcissist… he’s just bored
GROVER:  its his site 33 he can do what he wants
ElShaddai:  in fact this is as interested in anything as he gets- us talking about him
nanostep:  that
YHWH:  well said ES
ElShaddai:  he cares about no other subjet
nanostep:  he doesn’t have NPD…
YHWH:  you notice he’s not disagreeing
nanostep:  I’m sure he has a public persona…
guest33:  I certainly meant no disrespect, I just prefer Genesis to Mike and the Mechanics
ElShaddai:  no- he does not
GROVER:  only fools argue with fools
ElShaddai:  his public persona is sit in a corner and read eggheaded books

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Let’s Compare The Los Angeles Beit Din With The RCC’s Conversion To Orthodox Judaism

The RCC conversion is universally accepted throughout the Jewish world, including Israel. Nobody will question your Jewish bonafides once you achieve it. The Los Angeles Beit Din is an easier route even though they reject nine out of ten applicants.

The RCC track will take you at least two years and will usually demand weekly tutoring and obstacles. They’ll put the fear of God into you so that if you’re a woman, you’ll never want to be caught in public wearing pants, even when out for a jog.

Converting through the Los Angeles Beit Din will typically take about a year and will require weekly classes, knowledge of Hebrew, Jewish history, Jewish law and plenty of memorization of key blessings.

The RCC will always be looking for an excuse to kick you out of its conversion program. The Los Angeles Beit Din will give you a fair chance. Neither are going to come to your house and check that everything is kosher. Both will rely on the vote of confidence of your sponsoring rabbi.

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My Wounded Inner Child

I recently got pushed to articulate why I fear being clingy.

(I’m only a tad less lonely and clingy because I have God, but that does make a difference.)

Instead of hanging around people and trying to start up conversations, I typically march out of a room or go sit in a corner and read a book.

I guess I fear being clingy because I am clingy. I used to cling to Cathy Seipp. I just hate this part of myself.

When I’m knocked off-stride, I return to the four-year-old who just lost his mom.

So why don’t I embrace my wounded inner child?

I do through my blogging and occasionally with very close friends and a good therapist.

I often lack a good antennae for when people are sick of my company, but when I finally do notice, I march off. I have too much pride to hang around.

It wasn’t until eighth grade that I realized I could phone girls. The hottest girl in my grade was Denise Bernard. I’d been yearning for her since coming to America in sixth grade (1977). She was asked if she liked any guy. She listed three she might be interested in. I was one of them. I was over the moon with excitement and I proceeded to call her every day and to push her to make up her mind which guy she liked.

Naturally, she quickly tired of my calls and any attraction she felt for me died.

It took two months until a friend pulled me aside and mentioned that Denise was getting sick of my calls.

Denise was the first girl I ever asked out on a date. It took three attempts (the first two times she said she had to go to a horse show).

It was the summer of 1981 (between ninth and tenth grade). I asked Denise to the first game of the resumed baseball season (after the strike).

We rode in the back of a friend’s pick-up truck to Candlestick park.

My best friend’s younger sister, Jenny, said on the drive, "Luke, you’re wearing mismatched socks."

While trying to find our seats, I marched 100 yards ahead of Denise trying to get my bearings. All during the game, I was making bets with my best buddy Andy. Denise found this really obnoxious.

There was no second date.

If only she knew what a famous blogger I’d become!

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The Hottest Gynecologist In West LA

I hear it’s a bloke named Dr. Goldberg in Beverly Hills and women report that going to him is a pleasure.

There’s no funny business going on.

Who is this guy?

SuperJux.com posts Feb. 9, 2006: "Tuesday on my drive to work, I was flipping stations and landed on the annoying Star morning show. Dana Devin was the guest and she and Jamie were talking about cute doctors. Jamie mentioned how her ob/gyn, Dr. Goldberg, was hot. I remembered my doctor, Dr. Katz, has a partner named Dr. Goldberg (and yeah, he’s hot). Well, lo and behold, Dana then mentions something about Dr. Katz being hot. Apparently, my gynecologist is quite popular with tv and radio personalities. Who knew?"

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Where Can One Find The Most Transcendent Prayer In Pico/Robertson?

Without a doubt, it is the Happy Minyan (Shlomo Carlebach style but without the child molestation) and its marvelous cantor Yehuda Solomon (lead vocalist for the Moshav Band).

This place’s prayer beats the pants off every other minyan in town.

The Happy Minyan is davening at the Karate Academy, 9218 West Pico Blvd (at Glenville), Los Angeles, CA 90035 Map

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How Important Is A Relationship With God?

Having a "relationship with God" makes no sense to me.

It feels like something Christians talk about.

I had an overdose of that God relationship talk when I was an evangelical Christian.

I became Jewish to be hyper-rational and pick up shiksas.

Rabbi Aryeh Ben David’s new book, The Godfile: 10 Approaches to Personalizing Prayer, is so good I read it for the second time in a week today.

Here’s a sentence he repeats: "Everything that is true (vertically) is also true like this (horizontally)."

He means that our relationship with God will affect how we treat others.

Is this true?

I’m skeptical.

I don’t deny it.

I believe God made us. I believe God is interested in His creation. I believe He wants us to relate to Him, our maker. I guess that means He wants us to have a relationship with Him.

Eww, I’m not into that language. But the reality the language symbolizes is true.

In general, I think people who relate closely to G-d will treat other people more ethically.

A friend talked to me over Shabbat about his problems and how they were HaShem’s will.

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes," he said.

I believe there’s meaning in our suffering. I agree with Viktor Frankl that it provides the opportunity for us to reach higher moral values. That we need to find the meaning in our struggles and I guess there’s only ultimate meaning if there is a God who cares.

So however much it rubs me the wrong way emotionally, I have to bow to this God talk.

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Performance Anxiety

If you’re being intimate with someone who’s had a lot of partners, it’s common to have performance anxiety. How will you rate with all those who’ve come before you and in all likelihood will come after you?

I have severe kiddish (blessing over wine on the Sabbath and Jewish holidays) performance anxiety. My Hebrew is poor. I get really nervous when I have to say kiddish in front of others.

There are just so many ways to look stupid in Judaism.

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