Raunchy Writers

I get in constant trouble from rabbis and other religious Jews for raunchy writing.

I’ve been kicked out of four shuls for this sin.

How come these same shuls celebrate screenwriters who write R-rated Hollywood movies filled with sex, nudity, and profanity — stuff I’ve never produced (aside from making my one movie WHAT WOMEN WANT in 1996)?

These Orthodox screenwriters of R-rated movies get the odd chiding but nothing like the relentless aggravation I get. They get called to the Torah, they get important positions in the community, they get countless honors precisely because of the R-rated movies they’ve made. They pay their mortgages and their day school bills and their shul bills through writing raunchy movies and TV shows.

Why do I get this grief and they don’t? Because I’m a convert. Because I’m write for my own blog. Because I reveal unpopular things about Jews.

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The Game Behind The Game

Dennis Prager talks to Frank Pastore, former major league pitcher and currently a talk show host in Los Angeles. Dennis asks Frank what happens behind the scenes of the nation’s pastime.

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Leah Kleim Out Of Jail

She was put there for battery.

From my live cam chat:

LeahKleim:  WAKE UP lEVI
LeahKleim:  oops caps locked
LeahKleim:  do I have to f**king call you to get online ?
LeahKleim:  I just got out of jail, Im happy to have sunshine and fresh air. i dont care about chicken
LeahKleim:  I have been there to many times
guest6:  then you should know better than to end up there again
LeahKleim:  this time i had a new expierience though. I got E BAILED !
LeahKleim:  I really didnt do anything, I was there and should not have been but I dont have the heart to tell the judge the truth, even though he was trying to fish it out of me. Such is life

guest6:  whatever
guest6:  so by your own account, you’re unable to tell the truth. why should people trust you?
YourMoralLeader:  hi
LeahKleim:  I didnt lie, I just didnt tell what had happened to me
LeahKleim:  hey Levi
YourMoralLeader:  what happened to you?
LeahKleim:  I was in jail
YourMoralLeader:  why?
LeahKleim:  battery
YourMoralLeader:  you beat up your ex hubby?
guest6:  but this individual was innocent, and couldn’t bear to tell the judge the truth
LeahKleim:  sure, fat chance, hes a 6’4 licenced pro boxer
LeahKleim:  No 6, i was innocent, I was the one who got punched in the face
LeahKleim:  I couldnt bear to tell the judge the truth
guest6:  yes, as you said, which i was pointing out
guest6:  you are the individual in which i speak
YourMoralLeader:  your hubby punched you?
LeahKleim:  The judge came to court on the weekend to see me, he thought the charges against me were crazy and made no sence, but i kept my mouth shut
LeahKleim:  yes Levi
YourMoralLeader:  what were the charges against you?
guest6:  so what is it, you’re unhappy but can’t leave the guy so you went to jail numerous times to avoid dissapointing the judge?
LeahKleim:  no
LeahKleim:  I have 3 kids that I love and cherish and cant leave
guest6:  omg. if the guy is such a monster, then you are oblgated to get away and take the kids with you. there is no reason otherwise
YourMoralLeader:  oy, this is horrible, leah
YourMoralLeader:  but at least you have great sex with him
YourMoralLeader:  so it is probably worth a little jail and battery
guest6:  instead, you go to jail and leave your beloved and cherished youngsters with him
LeahKleim:  what should i do  ? have them go to the state ? he is a good father, not a  good husband
SFV:  are you there?
LeahKleim:  no
YourMoralLeader:  whoa
YourMoralLeader:  horrible
LeahKleim:  feisty !!!!!
LeahKleim:  such is life
YourMoralLeader:  how many times you been to jail?
LeahKleim:  but a shliach in cali e bailed me out
guest6:  none of that matters. if he is that way to you, then he is not a good role model. yo ushould take the kids and leave. if you are unable to do this, they would be better off with the state. either do whats best for your kids or give them to someone who wi
LeahKleim:  a bunch. all by him
YourMoralLeader:  that’s how goyim show their love
LeahKleim:  give my kids to niggers ? and have them seperated ? you are one sick f**k and this is my last waisted sentance to you. yasher koach.
LeahKleim:  yeah Levi it is
YourMoralLeader:  oy, I am sorry
guest6:  who is sick? you come to get advice from strangers about things you are to irresponsible to handle on your own.
LeahKleim:  Levi how has life been treating you ?
YourMoralLeader:  ok
YourMoralLeader:  nothing special
LeahKleim:  my back hurts
User SFV left the room.
LeahKleim:  I smashed up a car and blew up a transmition on friday
YourMoralLeader:  oy
YourMoralLeader:  why do you go to jail when your hubby beats you? why not him to jail?
guest6:  got some fists to dodge?
guest6:  because this person is completely full of s**t

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The Wackness Is Dope

Video

I catch this advanced screening Wednesday night.

It gives me insights into goyim and black people in New York in 1994.

Kurt Cobain has just died. Rudolph Giuliani is cleaning up the city.

The protagonist is named Luke Shapiro. What kind of name is that? The Talmud says "Luke" is among the most goyish names imaginable. Anyone named Luke must be bad for the Jews.

This Luke kid is. He’s a pot dealer. And he listens to cassette tapes of black music which he calls rap.

He talks about Boys to Men.

He wants to have sex with girls.

His married shrink wants to have sex with girls.

They bond.

They go out on the town and try to have sex with girls.

It’s pathetically funny.

Luke meets up with his shrink’s step-daughter who’s way out of his league.

There’s a lot of pot smoking in this movie and a lot of sex and tons of drinking, which usually leads to sex, and then black music, which usually leads to more sex.

The sex in this movie is not the type the Torah prescribes. This is not sanctified love making. This is brutal and awkward and lustful. They don’t make any benedictions before hopping into each other. I found it disturbing, so disturbing I could barely stand to look, I only looked because I knew there was something funny coming along to ease my tension.

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9th Circuit’s chief judge Alex Kosinski posted porn on his website

From the LA Times:

One of the highest-ranking federal judges in the United States, who is currently presiding over an obscenity trial in Los Angeles, has maintained his own publicly accessible website featuring sexually explicit photos and videos.

Alex Kozinski, chief judge of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, acknowledged in an interview with The Times that he had posted the materials, which included a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows and a video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal. Some of the material was inappropriate, he conceded, although he defended other sexually explicit content as "funny."

Kozinski, 57, said that he thought the site was for his private storage and that he was not aware the images could be seen by the public, although he also said he had shared some material on the site with friends. After the interview Tuesday evening, he blocked public access to the site.

After details about the website were published on latimes.com this morning, the judge offered to entertain motions to recuse himself from the obscenity trial of Hollywood filmmaker Ira Isaacs, who is accused of distributing criminally obscene sexual fetish videos depicting bestiality and defecation.

Prosecutors said they were conferring with supervisors within the Department of Justice about how to proceed. In the meantime, they wanted jurors to be admonished to disregard publicity in the case. Defense attorney Roger Diamond made no objection to Kozinski continuing to hear the case, which began with opening statements this morning.

This afternoon jurors were taken to the appeals court’s offices in Pasadena to view three videos at issue in Issacs’ trial.

Stephen Gillers, a New York University law professor who specializes in legal ethics, told The Times that Kozinski should recuse himself from the Isaacs case because "the public can reasonably question his objectivity" concerning the issues at hand.

Gillers, who has known Kozinski for years and called him "a treasure of the federal judiciary," said he took the judge at his word that he did not know the site was publicly available. But he said Kozinski was "seriously negligent" in allowing it to be discovered.

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I’m Looking For Some Bitches To Take My Last Name

Darrah writes:

I was inspired today by this Luke Ford post to change my name from Darrah to now Darrah Ford. No I’m not sniffing coke as I’m typing this! Luke was a former porn blogger in his past life and I always wanted to be the female Luke Ford. But I doubt that will ever happen. Can’t a nice Catholic girl just have this one dream?? And since Darrah isn’t my real name anyway, I thought I’ll go as Darrah Ford as my new online identity in the blogosphere! haha I’m also known as SexyPervert or SexyP on Luke’s live cam. There you’ll see, when I’m logged in, that me being weird and a little unbalanced is normal for me. So no need to worry that I have suddenly lost all sense and reasoning. The name change is like Perez Hilton choosing his name because of his warped love/hate relationship with Paris Hilton. So I’m now going as Darrah Ford as my homage to Luke Ford. I have told Luke of my idea and he has approved.

From my live cam chat:

palestine4ever:  Remember that chica Cynara Fox that got upset that you said she acted like she was on drugs?
palestine4ever:  She had a myspace profile where she not only celebrates… uh… being off drugs…
palestine4ever:  …but took YOUR NAME!
palestine4ever:  http://www.myspace.com/lucieford
palestine4ever:  THIS IS MORAL LEADERSHIP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
palestine4ever:  I have never had a similar effect on a fallen woman before.
palestine4ever:  Of course she hasn’t logged in in a year and is probably doing smack again
palestine4ever:  BUT FOR AWHILE YOU MADE A DIFFERENCE!
palestine4ever:  Luke, I think this is a new schtick for you.
palestine4ever:  Have all of your young, childless female acolytes take your last name.
palestine4ever:  I really don’t think you’ve given a career as a cult leader a fair chance.
palestine4ever:  Think of how many Cynara Foxes are out there, waiting to be shaped into succulent (if freaky-looking) Lucie Fords.
palestine4ever:  Oh, your fan on VNN replied, too.
palestine4ever:  Just call me your personal secretary to the online world of hate and fallen women.
palestine4ever:  http://www.vnnforum.com/showthread.php?t=73577
YourMoralLeader:  emma took my first name
palestine4ever:  Emmaluke?
palestine4ever:  It sounds like some Mongol general.

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Drink Up!

At a recent lunch, when a friend spotted me with a bottle of HINT Water (www.drinkhint.com), he thought he had a more economical way of producing delicious essence water on the cheap. For the unitiated, HINT is a great brand of flavored essence water – their motto is: Drink Water, Not Sugar – and I’m a huge fan of the company. Anyway, my friend argued that by simply squeezing enough limes, he only has limes with his iced tea, he’d get the same delicious taste – for free. Or as close to free as possible, considering we were at a local eatery and nothing is "free" once your server takes your order. Five lemons and two packets of Splenda later, my friend only managed to conceive one of the most rancid forms of essence water imaginable. Then, in my own version of the Pepsi Challenge, I let him take a swig of HINT. His pride notwithstanding – he’d never concede I was right – I quickly noticed he drank the rest of my HINT — and even kept the bottle! Maybe I should implore HINT to win his favor . . . and return my bottle. I love the stuff.  

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Got Kosher Back In Business

A source saw their products at 7/11 today.

I heard the owners got into a big fight and one of them is trying to restart it without the other.

The company had declared bankruptcy a few months ago.

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Husband, Wife Discuss 100 Days Of Sex

From the Denver Post:

Author Doug Brown and his wife, Annie in their bedroom in Boulder on June 1, 2008. (NYTNS | Stephen Collector)

 

Denver Post lifestyle reporter Doug Brown and his wife, Annie, were featured on NBC’s "Today Show" this morning discussing a book about their sex lives.

Doug Brown wrote the book after Annie suggested that they have sex every day for 100 days. She said that after 14 years together, their sex life had become stale.

"Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned on their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!)," details the journey.

"Immediately, I had second thoughts," Annie Brown told interviewer Ann Currie in this morning’s interview.

"When I would tell my girlfriends about it, immediately, their mouths would drop open and they’d ask, ‘Are you crazy?’ "

"You couldn’t do this for the rest of your life. … It was exhausting," said Doug Brown.

But he recommends couples push themselves at least once a week, regardless of fatigue.

Annie Brown said there were lasting benefits after the experiment was over.

"I think what we really learned is that we have to take care of each other more and pay attention to each other in a way that we hadn’t since the early days of our marriage," she said.

"It wasn’t just the sex, we were constantly hugging each other. And that has lived on. We touch more," said Doug Brown.

To watch the "Today Show" interview and read an excerpt from the book, click here

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The Websites I Visit

NYTimes.com is my home page. LAObserved.com is usually my first choice after that. Then the Drudge Report (my first choice for breaking news) and LATimes.com. Then Poynter (my first choice for links on journalism news) and Slate.com.

Those are the websites I visit every day.

Other sites I look at every week: WashingtonPost.com, TheOnion,com, Hirhurim, Cross Currents, FailedMessiah, JewishJournal.com, TheJewishWeek.com, TheJewishPress.com.

The other surfing I do largely depends on recommended links.

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