Category Archives: Personal

The Pain Of Jewish Holidays

I find Sabbaths and holidays painful. They remind me of what’s missing from my life — connection. During the week, I can distract myself with many endeavors so that I never have to look in the mirror and see my … Continue reading

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Are There More Acceptable/Less Acceptable Topics For Writing?

I go through my life offending people. It’s a talent I inherited from my father. I wonder how I’d do with an MFA program in writing? I wonder how much there is an “This is acceptable, but that isn’t” mentality? … Continue reading

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Like Keith Richards

Khunrum emails: I’m listening to Keith’s Richard’s autobiography on CDs whilst I walk away the miles at 24 Hour Fitness. He reminisces about hearing Muddy Waters on record and a few years later the thrill of playing with him. I … Continue reading

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Thank You For Your Prayers

Gentle Readers, I appreciate your patience and prayers as I recover from a pyrotechnic accident this weekend.

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Running From My Emotions

I tend to run away from my emotions. I don’t want to locate them in my body and I don’t want to name them and I don’t want to accept the message they’re sending me. I prefer to distract myself … Continue reading

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A Free Neck

When do I feel at ease? When I have a harmonious head, neck, back relationship. When my neck is free so that my head can release forward and up and my back can lengthen to widen, then I feel poised. … Continue reading

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My Subtle Low-Grade Depression

I went off nardil in 1999 without ill effect, but reading this Wikipedia paragraph makes me think that I have tendencies towards dysthymia aka subtle low-grade depression. When I get excited about something, my depression lifts, but when I have … Continue reading

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Intimacy Vs. Eroticized Rage

After he described his love life, his therapist asked, “Have you heard of the term eroticized rage?” “No,” he said, “but that rings true. I had a girlfriend, Holly, who said to me, ‘Take out all your rage at women … Continue reading

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Like A Serial Killer

In the final weeks of the longest live-in relationship of my life (three months in Orlando during the summer of 1993), my partner pushed me to try the drug recommendation of her psychiatrist Daniel Golwyn — nardil aka phenelzine — … Continue reading

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I Suck The Life Out Of Women

Something got seriously warped in my relationship with the opposite sex very early in my life. On the night of my first birthday, my mother got very sick. She was soon diagnosed with cancer and over the next three years, … Continue reading

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