Tag Archives: shiksa

Dennis Prager? Why Did You Have To Go To Him For? He Was The One Person In The World I Didn’t Want To Hurt

I’m watching The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz. Duddy runs around, cutting corners, betraying everybody who loved him in his drive to get ahead. He reminds me of myself. Everybody around me ends up feeling betrayed. There’s a great line in … Continue reading

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This Week’s Torah Portion – Parashat Shelach (Numbers 13:1-15:41)

I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs every Monday at 7pm PST on my live cam and on YouTube. This week we study Parashat Shelach (Numbers 13:1-15:41). Watch the videos. * How are Rabbi Rabbs’s criticisms of the … Continue reading

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Luke Talks To Goyim About God

I’ll cover these questions from Casey on Monday night’s Torah Talk: Hey Luke–thanks for indulging my curiosity. Here’s my ten questions: 1. What is the purpose of Judaism? (…and if your answer is, “to follow the Torah,” then I want … Continue reading

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Cornered By A Shiksa

Monica’s “Martinis and Melodrama” cocktail party is called for 7:30 p.m. I walk up to her door and knock at 7:30 p.m. I’m the first guest. Her dog Eliot Epstein barks furiously. Last time I was here, he bit me. … Continue reading

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Luke Ford’s Secret Diary VII

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part Five. Part Six. Sept. 8. 2009. I got into trouble today. I got too high on my bipolar spectrum and sent off a bunch of emails that I thought were funny … Continue reading

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Respect!

Hot Shiksa calls. I squeal: "You poked me on Facebook! This is a whole new direction for our relationship. We’re finally making our feelings concrete. It’s not just words. Now it’s down to poking. We’re making things holy." Hot Shiksa: … Continue reading

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Is Kundalini Yoga Sex Yoga?

The other night I was doing yoga and we were told to lie on our stomachs and raise our butts in the air and then crash our pelvises to the floor and repeat. I am not ashamed to admit that … Continue reading

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Short Cuts

* About three years ago, I made the mistake of telling this nine-year-old girl that I smoke cigars (she had been propagandized at school that this was evil). I was kidding. I do not smoke anything. Ever since, however, she … Continue reading

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Molesting Girls

I was crashing with this girl a few years ago. I was being all honorable and just trying to get to sleep when she said to me, "Why aren’t you trying to molest me?" She was hurt that I hadn’t … Continue reading

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The Bad Jew

"Would you carry this?" she asks. We’re outside the Santa Monica Co-Op on Broadway, a few blocks from where I had a passionate one-year fling with a gorgeous shiksa who was ten years my junior, five times more flexible, one-quarter … Continue reading

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