A friend calls: "You’ve got a beard down to your knees. You walk around with your feet in tissue boxes. You’re afraid of germs so you pee into empty Manischevitz bottles. You’re afraid to leave your hovel.
"I’m coming over at 3:30 am and we’re driving to Forest Lawn and digging up Cathy Seipp’s remains and mixing them with some of your DNA and then we’ll say some prayers and make a golem."
The Technion is Israel’s Institute of Technology. Here is the 2006 990 filing by Technion’s American friends who lost the $70 million. The filing is about 100 pages long and I can’t figure it out.
Technion is known as one of the sharpest charities out there. It is bizarre that they would have money with Bernie Madoff.
It is counter-intuitive. If you were shlocky, you didn’t get in with Bernie Madoff. Only if you were elite would he take your money.
The executive vice president of the American Technion Society, which lost in essence $72 million in the Bernie Madoff scheme, told the Fundermentalist that there would have been very little his organization could have done to avoid getting bilked.
The Technion society lost $29 million it had invested in Madoff Securities, and then another $43 million in “profits” it made and then reinvested with Madoff — money that Melvyn H. Bloom, executive vice president of the organization now calls “illusory.”
By contrast, American Associates for Ben Gurion University of the Negev emails its supporters:
2008 is drawing to a close in more complex circumstances than any of us imagined. We don’t have to tell you that the United States, Israel and the world are wrestling with profound economic challenges. Now, the philanthropic and financial worlds have been rocked by the Bernard Madoff scandal.
We want you to know that neither AABGU nor BGU had any funds invested with this firm. AABGU’s financial status remains strong, thanks in large part to your steadfast support and our board and staff’s diligent fiduciary governance.
And, we’re proud to inform you that AABGU has once again been rated a four-star charity by charitynavigator.org.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t need your help.
The extent of the full impact of the Wall Street and Madoff crises on our donors is still not known. The economic downturn and devaluation of the dollar have already taken a toll on the amount of philanthropic support we are able to provide to BGU.
For the first time in over 15 years, Ben-Gurion University is bracing itself for a deficit budget year. Up until now, BGU has been the only Israeli university operating in the black.
We need your support to provide scholarships to students in need, and to support our groundbreaking research in sustainable development of drylands, from water purification and management to the development of biodiesel fuels and alternative energy sources, where BGU is already a world leader.
Please consider making a generous, tax-deductible donation before the year ends. Help us ensure that new beginnings are always possible.
This happened this week. Anyone have the scoop? There were a lot of anxious people comparing notes.
Rachel emails: "Your first article yesterday was all the talk at the Jewish Funders Network emergency meeting, and the United Federations emergency meeting in Israel. Some had a few particularly choice words about you. Nevertheless, there was no denying what you uncovered, and everyone was terrified of being the next Elie Wiesel Foundation, which is turning into the Bear Stearns/Lehman Brothers fiasco of the philanthropic world as a laundry list of things never to get caught doing in the future. You could have a very influential voice if you would just clean up your act and delete the nonsensical stuff that is interwoven with real reporting."
Joe emails:
If Rahm Emanuel was selected by Obama for his fierce loyalty to the cause, and Rahm spoke to Blagojevich about the Senate seat, doesn’t it follow that Obama authorized or knew of Rahm’s contact? Do you get it, I mean, why would Rahm, as a simple chief of staff designee appointed on November 6, 2008, begin talking baseball with Blagojevich right away – do you think he would have maybe mentioned to Obama – hey, I have been talking to the guy and making recommendations, and upon hearing that Obama would have said, I want you to have nothing to do with that. Yet, on November 8, 2008, Rahm keeps having these discussions? Is it possible that he disregarded an order from Obama?
We are being asked to believe that either Rahm told Obama nothing – which would bespeak complete insubordination, that Rahm told Obama that he was talking about it and Obama said do not touch it, and he kept talking, again complete insubordination, or more likely, he spoke to Blagojevich, mentioned those discussions with Obama, and Obama said that there is no problem with Rahm putting his two cents in in the manner Obama wanted.
I mean, come on. Obama does not deal with this small stuff. But people in his office did, at his behest.
No. All my family lives in Australia.
While my family is always glad to see me, Christmas has never been a big deal in my home. We didn’t celebrate it — though we did give gifts. My dad looked at Christmas as pagan. We only celebrated it with a tree and decorations once.
It was the winter of 1978 I believe and my big sister Elenne visited from Australia. She went out and got a tree and decorated it and insisted that we celebrate.
Religion was primarily a cerebral thing in my home. Seventh-Day Adventists have no icons and few rituals. We lived apart from the community so my dad could have the privacy he needed to write and prepare classes and sermons.
Josh: does your family want to see you for christmas
Josh: do they think this jewish thing is just a phase?
YourMoralLeader: no, its been 19 years now
Josh: you must have some regrets
sardine: Luke what is your family’s religion?
Josh: i forgot, sda don’t give presents
sardine: what church did you belong to before you became jewish??
Josh: it’s funny how everyone in my office asks me what i’m doing for chanukah, if i’m getting together with my family
sardine: i’m looking into other churches myself
Josh: the less relgious the jew, the greater the significance of chanukah
sardine: always been interested in the jewish faith
Josh: the more religious, the less significance
Josh: goyim just don’t get it
Josh: but i play along
Josh: i don’t want to burst their bubble
YourMoralLeader: I observe Chanukkah but I try to not enjoy myself too much, I’m too disconsolate about the destruction of the Temple 2000 years ago
Josh: i never grew up getting gifts on chanukah, it ain’t friggin christmas
YourMoralLeader: i only give cards/gifts to a GF
YourMoralLeader: no nookie, no cards
Josh: little do the secular jews know that they are celebrating a holiday that commemorates the emancipation of the holy land from the hands of the heathens
Josh: they woouldn’t tolerate that today – the maccabees are the equivalent of our modern day settlers
BernieMadoff: There is so much I could tell you, Luke.
BernieMadoff: But I’m afraid I’m going to end up like Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet, found today with his wrists slashed.
BernieMadoff: Or maybe hanging from the Brooklyn Bridge, a "suicide".
BernieMadoff: This is the only place where I feel comfortable
guest9: what ya doing?
guest9: is there a password for saying hi?
guest9: shalom?
YourMoralLeader: hi
guest9: so because you think I might be jewish you respond?
YourMoralLeader: i only responded in case you are a hot chick
guest9: sorry gentile here
YourMoralLeader: r u hot?
guest9: lol what happen to the moral thingy?
YourMoralLeader: screw it
guest9: shakes head. wondering when the fbi will be at your door bye.
Her name is Rachel the Rabbi Killer aka Rachel Gold.
She makes $200,000 a year selling ads for the Jewish Journal.
She won’t be denied. When she enters a rabbi’s office, she won’t leave until he’s agreed to advertise.
In return, she’s the most Torah-loving Jew you’ll ever meet. She goes to Torah classes all over town. She arranges for private sessions one-on-one. She won’t be denied.
Rachel has high Jewish standards and believes in separate roles for men and women. No matter how much they beg her, she’ll never allow a man to tie her up in his tefillin. What she won’t mind is getting tied up in his tefilla (prayer). When he wraps her up in his big white tallit and sways back and forth against her saying shacharit, she’s the happiest girl in the world.
The one group of people who are not happy with Rachel are the rebbitzens. They hate her. They accuse her of trying to steal their men.
Rachel is 39 and has never married because she gets bored easily. The only men who excite her are those who are learned in Torah.
Rachel says it distresses her even more than the rebbitzens the way some of these old fat rabbis pursue her. Oy, their text messages! "Rachela, I’m in Santa Monica at the pier. Want to join me for a walk? You just starred in a dream of mine. You made me very happy."
"Ewww," she tells me when she shares the email. "What makes him think he can talk to me this way? I’ve never done anything to provoke him. I’ve been nothing but respectful. He has twelve kids. His wife teaches Torah. I don’t think I can ever face him again."
I take her in my arms and hold her close and assure her that not all Torah Jews are predators.
"No!" she snaps. "I’m not going to do that until you put a sheet over your Jerusalem posters. It’s just not right. I can’t do that while there’s a photo of the Wall staring down at me."
Read part one here.
They had met while working nights at a psych ward.
Her name was Christine Smith. She was 24 and doing a masters degree in Family Therapy at California Lutheran University. She’d just ended a three-year relationship with a frequently unemployed black jazz musician 20 years older than her, a brilliant underachiever who was her first and only lover.
His name was Shmuel Levi. He was 30 and doing a master’s degree in Social Work at USC. He had slept with 47 women in his life, 46 of them Oriental and one Black — he was pretty drunk that night and wouldn’t leave the party until he had proven he wasn’t racist.
She was poor and Lutheran and from Minnesota. He was rich and Lubavitch and from New York.
Christine hated Shmuel on site. While she dressed modestly, he wore tight shirts and pants to show off his physique. While she was quiet and polite, he was always talking and very pushy in that New York Jewish way. He wouldn’t leave her alone. He kept going on about his "Yellow fever was burning out of control" and "Shiksas are for practice." He said he was a work-out freak and pumped iron two hours a day three days a week.
She liked to exercise too and ran two miles every day.
It was the one recreation they had in common.
Their work threw them together and to get rid of him, to just get him to leave her alone and to give her her space, she agreed one night to go to a party with him.
Christine is normally the most responsible girl in the world, but when she has a couple of drinks, she changes personality and becomes a wild party girl.
On this Saturday night, Christine downed three drinks in an hour and found herself strangely attracted to her coworker. She felt very happy and when she gave him a hug, he didn’t let go.
"Hey," she said and grabbed his head and turned it towards her.
"Hey," he said and leaned in and kissed her.
She was shocked and helpless and didn’t know what to do, but to placate him and to not make a scene as her goyisha parents taught her, she just kept on kissing him for the rest of the night, and when she woke up, she decided she was in a relationship with that obnoxious Jew Shmuel Levi.
I’ve decided to add a fictional soap opera to my website. Here’s part one:
I hit Makor on a Friday night. I was kicked out last year after a dozen women complained to the rabbi that I used sexual
innuendoes.
Tonight the dinner is at the home of friends of friends of mine. I feel that makes it OK for me to go.
I sit serene, practicing my Alexander Technique and opening up to the universe.
After buttoning my tongue for a few hours, I kick it up a notch over dessert and approach an attractive brunette named Marlene Cohen. She whips off her sweater, complaining about the heat.
“That’s a good sign,” I smile.
She smiles back.
After an hour of conversation (we agree on nothing) and Torah study, I walk her home. Equivocating for a minute, she invites me in and asks if I want a drink. I take a glass of water.
We sit on opposite sides of the room and talk awkwardly. Then I ask to massage her feet. She agrees. I fondle them for ten minutes and communicate far more effectively with my hands than with my words.
She sits up and kisses me. After a break to wash up, we make-out until she suggests we move into her room.
Thank God I’m always armed when I go to Jewish events.
As we undress, I learn my Sabbath bride is a “crunchy granola” feminist from U.C. Berkeley who’s just entered American Jewish University’s rabbinical school.
Down to our underwear, we slide into bed. She clambers on top of me.
“I like to talk Torah in bed,” she whispers.
“So do I.”
“I was arrested in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago,” she confesses, “for having sex in the back of a car. With a woman.”
I catch my breath.
We roll around in bed like Jews starved for kiddish. I can do anything but be on top of her. The missionary position is forbidden because it represents male domination of women. Like a sergeant in boot camp, she commands me on what I should do, when, and where. I’m told to shut up with my Republican nonsense, and to stop joking about rape.
In the morning, I leave for shul hoping I’ve cemented my ties to a woman and to a community. It is not to be.
The rabbi finds me at kiddish. “While I honor your humanity," he says, "I must ask you again to stay away from Makor events, even if they are held at the home of your friends.” I reluctantly agree.
Saturday day, when I call my lover, she says we have nothing in common but sex. I says that’s reason enough to get together again but she says no.
From the Times of London Dec. 20, 2008:
It takes an extraordinarily heartless conman to swindle a survivor of Auschwitz and Buchenwald and Nobel Peace Prize winner out of all his charitable funds.
Yet that is exactly what Bernard “Bernie” Madoff is alleged to have done to Elie Wiesel, the author of the Holocaust classic Night and a friend from the Jewish community in south Florida.
The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity now admits that it invested $15.2 million (£10.1 million) with Mr Madoff that represented “substantially all of the foundation’s assets”. The charity of the Nobel laureate, in New York, will have to raise new funds if it is to maintain its two centers in Israel that help Ethiopian Jews and Darfur refugees and continue its other work.
“We are deeply saddened and distressed that we, along with many others, have been the victims of what may be one of the largest investment frauds in history,” a spokesman for the foundation said.
There are so many things wrong with the Elie Wiesel Foundation’s 2007 990 filling with the IRS.
The Elie Wiesel Foundation had $9 million in assets (2007 990 filing, 2006 filing).
The trades page indicates a loss from the sale of option. The Internal Revenue Code specifically lists options as inappropriate for a charity to trade in. The foundation managers may have liability to the US taxpayer. Also, the foundation grew to about $9 million as it got $6 million in grants from the public – 2007 was a good year. Of course, Madoff traded 78 million dollars, so he churned the foundation nine times. Was it asleep at the wheel?
I’m told: If you invested with Bernie Madoff, your form 990 should read a simple one sentence line item that funds are at Madoff Investments. EWF (Elie Wiesel Foundation) listed instead a whole series of securities, etc, to the point of absurd over-trading as you rightfully point out. But if they lost 100% with Bernie, then the listing of securities held is impossible. The whole report of securities and investments was a sham, and now they got caught. For professionals, the listing of securities on the form is impossible if the funds were with Bernie. It is an either/or proposition. Huge ooops.
The Form 990 for 2007 was only posted on ElieWieselFoundation.org AFTER the Madoff collapse, and it undated and unsigned. The phone number on both the 2006 and 2007 Form 990s is disconnected. They gave a false number. The Form 990 lists attorney Howard Sobel as corporate secretary and treasurer. That would be the guy in the hot seat right now. Sobel is a big time white crime lawyer at Latham and Watkins. If you go to giving wisely.com, the address, contact and registered attorney of Elie Weisel Foundation in Israel are false.
In the 2006 990 filing, the corporate treasurer is listed as Elie Weisel’s son at Goldman Sachs and the corporate secretary is listed as someone else. In the hastily filed Form 990 for 2007 both positions have been changed and combined on page 30 and are listed as a litigation attorney at Latham and Watkins, Howard Sobel.
The filings for 2006 and 2007 say there are no employees and no independent contractors.
This bloke who offed himself was a big deal among French-Swiss Jewry and European Jewish financiers.
Experts say that having a big hairy long hyphenated name is the single best warning sign for an impending suicide.
How could we have been so blind?
To his friends, he was simply "Rene."
Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet, a founder of the hedge fund Access International Advisors, was found dead Tuesday in his office in Manhattan. His fund reportedly lost as much as $1.4 billion that had been invested with Bernard L. Madoff, the money manager accused of running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme.
A spokeswoman for the New York City Medical Examiner confirmed to Reuters that Mr. de la Villehuchet was pronounced dead Tuesday morning at a Madison Avenue building.
Authorities told DealBook that Mr. de la Villehuchet was found in his office with injuries to his arms, having apparently slit his wrists.
Mr. de la Villehuchet, 65, had been trying to recover the money that Access International raised in Europe and invested through Mr. Madoff’s business, according to La Tribune, which first reported the news, citing an unnamed source.
PARIS — For generations, the calling card of Swiss private bankers has been the promise of prudence and discretion.
Now, as the links between Bernard L. Madoff and elite private banks like Geneva-based Union Bancaire Privée emerge, this well-polished reputation has been tarnished by the $50 billion Ponzi scheme that Mr. Madoff has been arrested for and accused of running.
L’Affaire Madoff, as it has become known here and in Geneva, has cast an unwanted spotlight onto the normally shadowy world of private bankers in Switzerland and other cozy hiding places of offshore wealth, like the Cayman Islands and Luxembourg.
And while there are many Swiss victims in terms of total exposure, UBP is the best-known private bank to get hit, with $700 million of its clients’ money invested with Mr. Madoff.
Founded in 1969 by Edgar de Picciotto, UBP quickly became a giant in the conservative world of Swiss banking, where partnerships like Pictet and Lombard Odier stretch back more than 200 years.
With assets of $125 billion and a client base of wealthy individuals, families and institutions that reach from Qatar to Uruguay to Russia and throughout Europe, it is one of Switzerland’s biggest pipelines for channeling client money into hedge funds worldwide.
About six years ago, that business, known as a fund of funds, began to rake in larger fees when it decided to set up a vehicle called M-Invest Ltd to funnel cash to Mr. Madoff’s firm.
Through this relationship, UBP claimed it was able to gain close insight into Mr. Madoff’s investment operations, through copies of trade tickets and an unusual degree of access granted by Mr. Madoff himself to UBP’s representatives, according to a confidential internal letter sent to investors on Dec. 17, obtained by The New York Times.
