As Pico-Robertson Turns II

Read part one here.

They had met while working nights at a psych ward.

Her name was Christine Smith. She was 24 and doing a masters degree in Family Therapy at California Lutheran University. She’d just ended a three-year relationship with a frequently unemployed black jazz musician 20 years older than her, a brilliant underachiever who was her first and only lover.

His name was Shmuel Levi. He was 30 and doing a master’s degree in Social Work at USC. He had slept with 47 women in his life, 46 of them Oriental and one Black — he was pretty drunk that night and wouldn’t leave the party until he had proven he wasn’t racist.

She was poor and Lutheran and from Minnesota. He was rich and Lubavitch and from New York.

Christine hated Shmuel on site. While she dressed modestly, he wore tight shirts and pants to show off his physique. While she was quiet and polite, he was always talking and very pushy in that New York Jewish way. He wouldn’t leave her alone. He kept going on about his "Yellow fever was burning out of control" and "Shiksas are for practice." He said he was a work-out freak and pumped iron two hours a day three days a week.

She liked to exercise too and ran two miles every day.

It was the one recreation they had in common.

Their work threw them together and to get rid of him, to just get him to leave her alone and to give her her space, she agreed one night to go to a party with him.

Christine is normally the most responsible girl in the world, but when she has a couple of drinks, she changes personality and becomes a wild party girl.

On this Saturday night, Christine downed three drinks in an hour and found herself strangely attracted to her coworker. She felt very happy and when she gave him a hug, he didn’t let go.

"Hey," she said and grabbed his head and turned it towards her.

"Hey," he said and leaned in and kissed her.

She was shocked and helpless and didn’t know what to do, but to placate him and to not make a scene as her goyisha parents taught her, she just kept on kissing him for the rest of the night, and when she woke up, she decided she was in a relationship with that obnoxious Jew Shmuel Levi.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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