Will I See My Family For Christmas?

No. All my family lives in Australia.

While my family is always glad to see me, Christmas has never been a big deal in my home. We didn’t celebrate it — though we did give gifts. My dad looked at Christmas as pagan. We only celebrated it with a tree and decorations once.

It was the winter of 1978 I believe and my big sister Elenne visited from Australia. She went out and got a tree and decorated it and insisted that we celebrate.

Religion was primarily a cerebral thing in my home. Seventh-Day Adventists have no icons and few rituals. We lived apart from the community so my dad could have the privacy he needed to write and prepare classes and sermons.

Josh:  does your family want to see you for christmas
Josh:  do they think this jewish thing is just a phase?
YourMoralLeader:  no, its been 19 years now
Josh:  you must have some regrets
sardine:  Luke what is your family’s religion?
Josh:  i forgot, sda don’t give presents
sardine:  what church did you belong to before you became jewish??
Josh:  it’s funny how everyone in my office asks me what i’m doing for chanukah, if i’m getting together with my family
sardine:  i’m looking into other churches myself
Josh:  the less relgious the jew, the greater the significance of chanukah
sardine:  always been interested in the jewish faith
Josh:  the more religious, the less significance
Josh:  goyim just don’t get it
Josh:  but i play along
Josh:  i don’t want to burst their bubble
YourMoralLeader:  I observe Chanukkah but I try to not enjoy myself too much, I’m too disconsolate about the destruction of the Temple 2000 years ago
Josh:  i never grew up getting gifts on chanukah, it ain’t friggin christmas
YourMoralLeader:  i only give cards/gifts to a GF
YourMoralLeader:  no nookie, no cards
Josh:  little do the secular jews know that they are celebrating a holiday that commemorates the emancipation of the holy land from the hands of the heathens
Josh:  they woouldn’t tolerate that today – the maccabees are the equivalent of our modern day settlers

BernieMadoff:  There is so much I could tell you, Luke.
BernieMadoff:  But I’m afraid I’m going to end up like Rene-Thierry Magon de la Villehuchet, found today with his wrists slashed.
BernieMadoff:  Or maybe hanging from the Brooklyn Bridge, a "suicide".
BernieMadoff:  This is the only place where I feel comfortable

guest9:  what ya doing?
guest9:  is there a password for saying hi?
guest9:  shalom?
YourMoralLeader:  hi
guest9:  so because you think I might be jewish you respond?
YourMoralLeader:  i only responded in case you are a hot chick
guest9:  sorry gentile here
YourMoralLeader:  r u hot?
guest9:  lol what happen to the moral thingy?
YourMoralLeader:  screw it
guest9:  shakes head. wondering when the fbi will be at your door bye.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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