I’m Live On My Cam

I’m live on my cam.
I’m a gentle soul. I have loads of empathy. Just stacks of it. So when people come into my chat room and ask me to talk to them, I often try to make an effort to be friendly. There’s never a reward for that. Everybody who has ever come into my chatroom — during the almost two years I’ve had it — who has pled with me to talk to them has failed to be interesting.
Interesting people never plead for attention. All those who plead for attention are not interesting. It’s been an iron rule.
Also, hot chicks never plead for attention. Chicks who plead for attention in my chat room are never hot.
I believe there are profound lessons here for life.

jim: not talking today..
jim: I”v been here before luke
YourMoralLeader: gday
jim: I cant understand why you dont talk
jim: your not very friendly today whats wrong ?
jim: you cant make friends this way…..
jim: bye luke see ya next time have a good day friend Bye

See? What did I get for my effort of saying “Gday”? I got bupkis.
So don’t come into my chat room and plead for my attention. Do something interesting and then you will get my attention. Or if I am preoccupied with my study of the sacred text, leave your email address in my chatroom and I’ll hit you back as soon as I’ve finished the Talmudic tractate I’m memorizing.

YourMoralLeader: who r u beth?
Beth: The female version of you, but for the grace of G-d.
Beth: Your book is keeping me up nights, introspectively. So thanks for the free therapy.
YourMoralLeader: i am flattered
Beth: I’m glad, you should be. I’m not easily shaken.
YourMoralLeader: what work do you?
Beth: I’m an editor and book designer for small genre press.
Beth: Horror, crime, sci-fi. I write erotica but it’s too good to publish.
ChaimAmalek: I hope this works out. If Pakistan goes….
YourMoralLeader: Chaim, Beth is married
ChaimAmalek: 80 – 100 nukes,
ChaimAmalek: Is this Beth married to a Jew?
Beth: What’s that got to do with Pakistan, Luke?
ChaimAmalek: Nothing, but then why did Luke raise this issue?
YourMoralLeader: because you are a secular horn dog
ChaimAmalek: Unless he were contemplating having coitus with you while Pakistan goes into the s**tter
YourMoralLeader: i am a holy man
ChaimAmalek: Yes, yes you are. I expect you to go haredi soon.
Beth: If ever there was cause to celebrate, with coitus or otherwise…
ChaimAmalek: I used to work at Yohah Shimmel’s Coital Clothery on the Lower East Side
ChaimAmalek: I worked the drill press
YourMoralLeader: oy, always talking about sex
ChaimAmalek: Of course, if you are a shiksa, this won’t mean a thing to you. Luke, I came in here guns blazing on nukes and Pakis
ChaimAmalek: Luke, why do you suddenly feel obligated to discuss sexual matters? When it is just males in here, you don’t even open your mouth
ChaimAmalek: Let’s focus on Pakistan and muslims and nukes.
ChaimAmalek: Also, Bloomberg.com reports that the bankers at GoldmanSachs are arming themselves
guest: i’d rather hear about tigers sexcapades
ChaimAmalek: Beth, I neglected to say hello. How do you do?
Beth: I’m that American breed of shiksa. The daughter of an observant conservative Jew and his never-bothered-to-convert shiksa wife who lights shabbos candles.
ChaimAmalek: SHIKSA MENACE V. 4.0
YourMoralLeader: oh my
ChaimAmalek: excuse me, v 3.0
ChaimAmalek: v 1.0: blonde shiksa goddess; v2.0: the Yellow Peril; v3.0:the mishelung; v4.0:the Hindoo Honey

Beth: I went through some conversion classes but they really stressed the Hebrew reading and my brain shut down.
ChaimAmalek: Is your husband Jewish?
Beth: Afraid not. I wouldn’t have done that to the Jewish people.
ChaimAmalek: So why bother messing with conversion? I’ve always held that a gentile white woman who seeks to convert to Judaism or Islam likely is nuts
Beth: I would “bother messing with conversion” because I’m a Jew as far as everyone but the Jews is concerned.
ChaimAmalek: Luke, why don’t you do the right thing and propose marriage?
ChaimAmalek: Luke, I want to visit for your wedding. When will this be?
guest: it will take place at beth jacob with the honorable Rabbi Weil presiding
ChaimAmalek: But when?
guest: before the coming of the jewish Messiah
ChaimAmalek: He already came, sayeth the Messianists of Looobavitch
guest: no food other than split pea soup will be served
Beth: I’m relegated to the status of spare white woman.

ChaimAmalek: America is too well entertained a nation.
ChaimAmalek: American men play with their Wees while Asiatics practice integral calculus.
ChaimAmalek: Were I president, I would demand that every American spend one hour a day doing math drills and another hour on physical fitness.

ChaimAmalek: Luke and Holly might have made some beautiful babies together.
guest: yes…but would we be invited to a bris?
ChaimAmalek: Sorry….I know I should not touch on that topic.
guest: i guess you could scratch a bar mitzvah invite too
ChaimAmalek: So what? Is there otherwise ever going to be a bar mitzvah invite?
guest: no check will be in the mail
ChaimAmalek: Just the passage of time, physical decline, poverty, old age, sickness, death, and barely a mention in the blogosphere. Exactly the opposite of what would have been his life had he pursued Holly
Beth: how long do you all plan to be at this virtual party?
ChaimAmalek: What party?
ChaimAmalek: There is no celebration here.
Beth: I suppose sarcasm doesn’t travel well over the web.
ChaimAmalek: Turn around. Leaves are brown, there’s a patch of snow on the ground.
ChaimAmalek: Beth, make babies!
ChaimAmalek: This is how the books balance.
Beth: I’ll let my husband know you think so, Chaim.
ChaimAmalek: I’ll bet he agrees
guest: we need to breed …more amaleks
Beth: I’ll be back. Hope you’re still here.
ChaimAmalek: True that. I am willing to inseminate any suitable woman who comes my way.
guest: dono’t leave me all alone
ChaimAmalek: I’m still here, with my semen
User Beth left the room.
guest: your cold sarcastic semen?
ChaimAmalek: It just needs the affection of a fertile woman to warm up

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Tiger Woods Adultery Scandal

US Magazine will report on Thursday about one of Tiger’s affairs.

Radar Magazine reports that several women have come forward to claim affairs with the golfing great.

I wonder when Tiger Woods will finally come clean about this. His pleas for privacy on his website don’t sound particularly convincing to me.

It sounds like something is rotten in Denmark.

Yisroel emails: “No, it sounds like something is rotten in Sweden.”

Dennis Prager on the radio Monday: “I don’t talk about people’s affairs, either real or alleged. The only reason I am mentioning this is that is clear that there was some sort of big altercation with his wife. Everybody has troubles. If anybody would seem to embody an idyllic life as humanity can experience, it would be Tiger Woods. He is adored. He is a gentleman. He’s a good guy. He has two beautiful kids. His wife is stunning. The amount of money at the man’s disposal. If one were to list an imaginary person as having as painless and joy-filled a life as possible it would be Tiger. It turns out that he puts his pants on quite similarly to you and me. If he has issues at home, welcome to the human race.

“Envy is not one of my demons. Is that fair to say Allen [Estrin]? It’s not even a big battle. Most people do. Most people have a list of people whom they envy. Don’t. You don’t know what pain is in another person’s life.”

“While the Tiger Woods story is just a sad story and shouldn’t be dwelled upon beyond the issue I raised…”

Radar reports:

Several other women are coming forward claiming they had affairs with Tiger Woods, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

What’s more, one of these women claims to have proof in the form of voice mails from the golfing great. The voice mails are said to be explosive.

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS: Tiger Woods Wrecked Car Moved Under Cover

RadarOnline.com has not heard the voice mails and verified their authenticity.

PHOTOS: Jaimee Grubbs’ Hot Photo Session

But we have confirmed that at least two more women are being linked to Tiger in sexual affairs. One of those women is Jaimee Grubbs and she has come forward to US Weekly. That story will be published Thursday.

BETH EMAILS: “When a woman, even a stunningly beautiful one, marries a man who is arguably the world’s most famous athlete, she’s got to expect a certain level of nonmonogamy. Monogamy is not a natural state for human beings, particularly not for human males. They have a biological imperative to spread their DNA around. What separates us from the rest of the animals is our ability to reason, to overcome our baser instincts, but this doesn’t mean the instincts have left us. Men can be faithful but it’s unrealistic to expect this in the face of constant temptation such as Tiger Woods or just about any famous man would face.”

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New York Mashgiach Robert Frank Says He’s Received Death Threats

Last week, mashgiach Robert Frank told me that the Orthodox Union, in his experience, was indifferent to kashrut supervision. They were just in it for the money.

Monday evening, Robert calls. "I think the Orthodox Union is getting pretty nervous," he says. "I saw Rabbi Luban at a bris this morning. He seemed nervous. I said to him, come over to my house and I’ll show you videos of the non-kosher stuff. He said he didn’t have time. Then he took a bus to Manhattan.

"Fox News called me up. They want to do an interview. Arnold Diaz.

"I can’t let these people get away with this. They’ve been getting away with it for too long. All they [the Orthodox Union] do is let people do whatever they want to do. Maybe we’ll get some change out of it.

"I even received death threats. One of my coworkers told me that workers were telling him that they want to kill me now for this. They want to come over and hurt me because I might cost them their job. I want to rock the boat.

"I don’t care. They had me so stressed out. I was out of my mind. They were trying to drive me out of there. I don’t care anymore. Now everybody is going to know what is going on.

"Everybody is reading your blog. You’re famous in New York now. Everybody at shul is reading it.

"If I go in Wednesday and he writes me up again, it will just make him look guilty. I’m going to say, give it to me so I can go give it to the media. I’ll just email it to you. I want to cause them so much problem that they’ll think twice before bothering me.

"After you wrote that thing about me, other mashgiachs all over the world say this is a big problem. It’s a problem all over the world, but mashgiachs are afraid. They’re afraid for their jobs."

"My lawyer was shocked I went to you. I said, I had no choice. I was put in a spot where it was going to start all over again. I was going to have another two or three years of aggravation. I can not live with a sword over my head. That’s the way I live every day there."

Robert Frank emails me: "ENCLOSED IS A LETTER TO ME FROM RABBI SCHRIER FROM THE ORTHODOX UNION CONCERNING THE DELIVERIES, AND MY REPLY TO HIM, BUT HE MAKES NO MENTION IN HIS E-MAIL TO ME ,OF WHAT THE ORTHODOX UNION IS DOING TO STOP THE HARASSMENT THAT I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING FROM RABBI BARRY KWIATKOVSKY AND THE MANAGER SANDE PEPAJ IN REGARDS TO MY BEING DILIGENT IN FINDING NON KOSHER FOOD A PERFORMING MY MASHGIACH FUNCTIONS."

Rabbi Schrier of the Orthodox Union emails Robert Frank:

Reuven:
 
 In regards to your request for assistance to properly check
 the  delivery skids, we have done the following:

To help alleviate the pressure you feel when checking the
 products, the hospital once again has offered to provide a
 person to remove the boxes that you feel hinder your ability
 to  properly check the deliveries. The hospital requests that when
 the delivery arrives you contact the supervisor on duty
 immediately to provide assistance with checking the skids.
 
 The hospital committed itself that when you need to check the
 skids you will not have at that time conflicting responsibilities.
 
 The person will be committed to helping you finish checking
 the skids by 8:45am, which gives you ample opportunity to daven
  after that before Zman Krias Shema.
 
 Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention and we hope
 this will solve the issues you have been having with the
 arriving deliveries.
 
  If this system is not working please call me or Rabbi Luban
  immediately.

  Rabbi Dov Schreier
  Rabbinic Coordinator
  Phone 212-613-8342 Fax 212-613-0686
  e-mail- [email protected]

Robert Frank responds to Rabbi Dov Schreier: " DEAR RABBI SCHRIER, I WAS NEVER OFFERED ANY HELP FROM RABBI BARRY KWIATKOVSKY TO HELP BREAK THE SKIDS DOWN , WHEN THE KITCHEN WORKERS NEED ANYTHING FROM THE DELIVERY SKIDS THEY JUST TAKE THEM OFF , WITHOUT ASKING ME IF THE PRODUCT IS KOSHER OR NOT , I CAN NOT WATCH ALL THE SKIDS AT ONE TIME , A SYSTEM HAS TO BE PUT IN PLACE TO SECURE THE SKIDS AND THAT NO ONE HAVE ACCESS TO THEM UNTIL THE MASHGIACH CAN SEE IF EVERYTHING IS KOSHER. WHAT ABOUT MY ISSUES WITH RABBI BARRY KWIATKOVSKY AND SANDE PEPAJ TO PREVENT THEM FROM HARASSING ME ON A ON GOING BASIS TRYING TO STRESS ME OUT, AND GET ME SICK, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THEM , WHEN I WAS ON DUTY LAST FRIDAY AND SATURDAY AND SUNDAY I HAD NO PROBLEMS FROM THE MANAGERS ON DUTY,BECAUSE THOSE 2 WERE OFF, THE MANAGERS THAT WEEKEND LET ME DO MY JOB, WITHOUT STRESS, WHY ARE YOU STANDING BY AND LETTING RABBI BARRY KWIATKOVSKY AND SANDE PEPAJ CONTINUE TO HARASS ME. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING MY REQUESTS TO YOU FOR HELP."

Robert Frank emails: “DEAR MR FORD, BELOW IS A MESSAGE THAT I RECEIVED FROM A REPORTER AT THE NEW YORK POST THAT THEY WILL BE RUINING A STORY ABOUT THE KOSHER FRAUD.
I ALSO SPOKE TO RABBI YAKOV LUBAN AT THE ORTHODOX UNION TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO CORRECT THE PROBLEM , RABBI LUBAN TOLD ME THAT THE ORTHODOX UNION WILL NOT INTERFERE ON MY BEHALF IN REGARDS TO ANY RETALIATION THAT OCCURS IN REFERENCE TO MY COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE HARASSING TREATMENT BY MY SUPERVISOR RABBI BARRY KWIATKOVSKY AND MY SUPERVISOR SANDE PEPAJ, WHICH MEANS THAT THEY ARE FREE TO CONTINUE THEIR HARASSMENT AND RETALIATION TO ME FOR REPORTING THE KOSHER PROBLEMS TO MONTEFIORE HOSPITAL AND THE ORTHODOX UNION , WHICH WILL RESULT IN MY EVENTUAL JOB TERMINATION.”

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Interfaith Wedding On MTV

Eighteen months ago, I interviewed Orthodox rabbi David S. Gruber who’d become a secular humanist and was doing interfaith weddings.

I caught up with him this weekend. On Nov. 27, he emails (his website):

Tomorrow I will be officiating a San Antonio wedding that will be prominently featured on a reality show on the Hispanic Channel of MTV.

One of their most popular shows is called "Quiero Mis Quinces", a reality show that goes behind the scenes of quincenieras. They will be wrapping up that show this fall, and rolling out their follow up program, "Quiero Mi Boda" (roughly, "I want my wedding") which will start airing the beginning of next year. The idea of the show is to highlight weddings that involve intercultural relationships, where one side is Hispanic and the other is not, and to show how couples and families deal with such weddings.

I will be officiating for a couple, where the bride is a high school teacher of Catholic Mexican descent, and the groom is a Jewish Air Force pilot. The rabbi the couple found actually pulled out of officiating for them at the eleventh hour, as he did not want to be on TV. I stepped in literally a week ago, when I was contacted by the show’s producers.

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A Case Study In Immigration Fraud

From CIS.org:

WASHINGTON (November 2009) – The Center for Immigration Studies is releasing the third video in its series Border Basics by Janice Kephart, Three Years of Fraud in the U.S.: The Case of Manoj Kargudri.

Following closely on the heels of Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano’s announcement that she is looking forward to working with Congress on “comprehensive immigration reform,” Janice Kephart explores how the agency that would be responsible for carrying out an amnesty of 12 million illegal aliens still cannot ferret out fraud in a single simple employment petition even eight years after 9/11.

Kephart examines the case of Manoj Kargudri, an Indian national who exploited simple loopholes in our immigration system five times over three years to enter and remain in the United States. Kargudri was finally stopped at the San Antonio airport on August 28, 2008, by the Transportation Security Administration. He was not stopped because of his immigration violations, but rather because he had a one-way ticket to Washington and in his carry-on luggage were box cutters and a homemade battery strapped to his MP3 player. Luckily, he turned out not to be a terrorist, but the fraud in the immigration system allowed Kargudri to obtain a visa and enter and stay in the United States for three years before he was finally arrested and deported.

Kephart concludes that while Kargudri’s employment fraud is largely solvable, the agency responsible for adjudicating immigration benefits, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, has been making unfulfilled promises for years about upgrading its systems to effectively reduce application fraud. In a broader context, the Kargudri case raises more questions about the soundness of pursuing amnesty within a bureaucracy where applicant fraud still runs rampant.

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How Did Kashrut Become So Sexy?

Twenty years ago, if you met a mashgiach, you assumed he was not smart enough to be a rabbi.

Working in kashrut certification was a low-paying, unprestigious job.

Now it is a power center. It is a money-maker. The RCC has used kosher certification as a battering ram to bring the recalcitrant to bay and to shift Orthodox Judaism in Los Angeles to the right.

How did kashrut certification become so powerful and remunerative?

It was the chumra movement. Orthodox Jews over the past 30 years felt increasing need to distinguish themselves as more religious by taking on showy strictures such as only eating cholov Yisrael (milk milked under the supervision of a mashgiach) and the like. Kashrut certifying agencies rose up to meet this need and to confer prestige on those who abided by them.

Manufacturers and rabbis saw there was a lot of money and power to be had by using, for instance, only potato starch over Passover. There’s no reason you can’t use corn syrup on Passover. It’s a byproduct and byproducts of chametz are not chametz. That’s the halacha. But oh, to be frumer than thou, that is prestige. And there’s a buck in it.

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Pico-Robertson Update

Real estate values of the average Pico-Robertson home are down about 25% from the peak in 2006. Prime Beverlywood property is holding up well. Rents are under pressure. Vacancies are up even though the population hasn’t declined. Rents are down about 15% in Pico-Robertson from the 2006 peak.

People are moving into smaller places and sharing space. Unemployment is way up. Hardly a family in Pico-Robertson is unaffected.

Every shul is financially struggling and cutting back though membership numbers are strong.

Young Israel of Century City did not replace Rabbi Weiner when he left.

Mogen David is stable.

We appear to be in a long deep recession akin to the 1930s.

Jewish day schools are in serious trouble. Canfield Elementary School on Canfield and Airdrome now has about 45 Orthodox kids.

We may be seeing a return to the Talmud Torah model of the 1930s, a traditional after-school and Sunday program education in Torah while kids go to public schools.

Many of the most prominent Jews in town went to Hamilton High School and Fairfax High. We may be returning to those days.

Rabbi Kalman Topp is a winner at Beth Jacob. He’s warm, personable, lovable. His Saturday morning parsha shiurim are a hit, drawing a crowd close to 100. He presents dazzling insights into the parsha.

The main sanctuary at Beth Jacob is doing OK on Shabbos morning. The jury is still out on the new chazzen. He’s a world-class chazzan. He’s a mentch. He’s warm, sweet, nice. Beth Jacob asked for a chazzan and they got a chazzan. He’s doing everything he promised. I’m not sure the congregants are now sure they want a real chazzan. They might want more congregational singing. The idea of a chazzan was more attractive than its reality.

Beth Jacob has not had a chazzan since Rabinovitzch and that was about 15 years ago. Avshalom Katz, the last chazzan, was not your classic chazzan. He was a great leader of prayer.

Beth Jacob’s Kol Nidre service this year in the main sanctuary was stellar, and that comment came from people who don’t generally like cantors.

Rabbi Steven Weil has assumed a low profile at Beth Jacob. He’s around socially. He’s sensitively and elegantly stayed out of the way at Beth Jacob. What could’ve been a difficult situation is a very easy one thanks to Rabbi Weil’s impeccable behavior.

Rabbi Weil is still in his early days with the Orthodox Union and I feel that there’s a lot of love on all sides. It’s weird for him to live in LA and then fly to New York every week to work, but he did something great for his kids.

"The RCC has the audacity to rule on business issues they don’t have the faintest idea about," says a businessman. "More and more people are shying away from them. Why would you put your fate in their hands? There’s no right to appeal. You’re leaving it to people who have never been in business, never had to meet a payroll. They study from a legal system that is a few thousand years old."

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Lakewood Changes The Way It Deals With Molestation

These links are from Hirhurim:

  • Lakewood changes how it deals with molestation: link
  • Jewish convert comedian: link
  • R. Stephen Pruzansky on Left Wing Modern Orthodox rabbis: link
  • Note the second yahrtzeit — that’s the controversial R. Azariah De Rossi!: link
  • Counter-protest against Charedi protests: link
  • Prof. Jacob Neusner on his return to Reform: link
  • New international rabbinic organization founded by R. Avi Weiss and R. Marc Angel, considering the inclusion of women: link

Joseph Kaplan writes: "Women’s prayer groups and the Yoetzet movement (the latter, more understandable in Israel where the Rabbinate is largely dysfunctional) are just two examples of the straight line one can draw from the Reform ordination of women in the early 1970’s and the Conservative ordination in the 1980’s until today."

How simplistic — and wrong. But nothwithstanding such attitudes, many women in R. Pruzansky’s shul ask the yoetzet in Teaneck niddah-related shailot rather than him, and the same is true in many other Teaneck shuls whose rabbis have not supported — and some have even actively opposed — the yoetzet. Teaneck is lucky to have one rabbi wise enough, and brave enough, to be a true leader on this and other issues — and it’s not R. Pruzansky.

RABBI GIL STUDENT WRITES: I agree except that the latest developments — ordaining women and discussing their admission to a rabbinic organization — are so shocking that a little sarcastic incredulity is, in my opinion, forgivable.

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Does The Los Angeles Jewish Federation Keep Kosher At Its Events?

This email was forwarded to me:

The [John] Fishel banquet has NO hashgacha and is cooked in their kitchen on the only set of cookware and dishes of the Center.

Judy Fisher, in charge, wrote that on request they will special order kosher meals and double wrap them to heat.

They will be ordered from "Orange Delight since we are ordering only 1 or 2. Judy"

I requested that she make this known to kosher consumers, lest they arrive only to discover their food is not kosher. I have not seen such a notice.

Federation no longer holds to any kosher requirements. It may be time for a Jewish community response.

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Swiss Vote to Ban New Minarets

The New York Times reports

Switzerland’s political right on Sunday scored a surprising victory in a referendum on banning construction of minarets, denting the nation’s cherished image as a bastion of tolerance and threatening to set it at odds with international law and the Muslim world.

The Swiss Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, but the rightist Swiss People’s Party, or S.V.P., and a small religious party proposed inserting a single sentence banning the construction of minarets, the towers that typically stand adjacent to mosques and serve to issue the Muslim call to prayer.

Pre-referendum polls had indicated a comfortable, if slowly shrinking, majority against the proposal, but official results Sunday showed that the S.V.P. and its allies had won 57 percent of the vote. The result came after a controversial campaign that played aggressively on the same fears of Muslim immigration and the spread of Islamic values that already resonate in other European countries…

The result represents a deep embarrassment for the government, which had strongly opposed the motion, and leaves it with a complex political and legal tangle. With the vote Sunday, the ban on minaret construction automatically becomes part of the Constitution, said Lukas Goldber, an analyst at gfs.bern, a political and social research institute.

The Swiss cabinet, or Federal Council, issued a statement that it “respects this decision. Consequently, the construction of new minarets in Switzerland is no longer permitted.”

…debate prompted the Swiss government to mount a vigorous public relations campaign overseas to try to avoid a backlash in Islamic countries — like the one Denmark faced after publication of cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad — and damage to lucrative commercial and banking ties with wealthy Muslims.

Still, the campaign came as a rude shock to Switzerland’s estimated 400,000 Muslims, about 6 percent of the population, whose leaders have been careful to avoid attracting little public attention, said Youssef Ibram, an imam at Geneva’s main mosque and Islamic Cultural Foundation.

Of 150 mosques or prayer rooms in Switzerland, only 4 have minarets and only 2 more minarets are planned. None conduct the call to prayer.

Close to 90 percent of Muslims in Switzerland are from Kosovo and Turkey and do not adhere to the codes of dress and conduct associated with conservative Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia, said Manon Schick, a spokeswoman for Amnesty International in Switzerland…

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