RCC Gives Kosher Supervision To Businesses Open On The Sabbath

One of the arguments that the RCC (Rabbinical Council of California) used against Rabbi Yehuda Bukspan was that he certified as kosher businesses operating on the Sabbath. This is perfectly legal by Jewish law, and the RCC today supervises businesses open on the Sabbath and all Jewish holidays such as the Magnolia Bakery (owned by a Jew, his wife is a shiksa), located in the heart of the Jewish community on Third Street and Orlando Ave.

Rabbi Rabbs emails:

You wrote: “This is perfectly legal by Jewish law”.

Says who? It’s not that simple. Real Food Daily is a real problem because they cook on Shabbos, and since no Jew can be part of the cooking, we must assume that the food is all bishul akum, and thus, treif. I don’t see any way around that. Some of the those foods are gourmet level and certainly fitting to sit on a king’s table.

Whereas, Magnolia Bakery is merely preparing baked goods, so by not having a Jew turn on the ovens, it is only NOT pas Yisroel, and I’m sure the RCC makes note of that on the certification. The only problem there I see is that it is owned by a Jew, but I’m thinking maybe he enters a shituf “partnership” by selling his portion of the business for Shabbos.

In other words, he doesn’t own it on Shabbos, and doesn’t derive profit from it that day.

I may be wrong about Magnolia Bakery. It very well may be problematic as well. I have never been there and have no idea what’s going on there. I am just giving RCC the benefit of the doubt, whereas, I don’t see any wiggle room for RFD.

JOHN EMAILS: 15 years ago when Noahs Bagels was under Bukspan the RCC made a big deal about how you could not eat there because they were open on shabbos.

When they took over noahs, they were still open on shabbos.

This news about magnolia bakery is old news RCC has had their restaurants open on shabbos for over 15 years.

I dont know of you have ever had a bagel from noahs, all i can tell you is that i have never tasted a better bagel in my life! i bet the rcc drove noahs nuts and they said to hell with this and became not kosher, who knows if it were not for the RCC, noahs would probably still be kosher.

Jack emails: The non-kosher status of Noah’s was a national thing, when Noah sold off the franchise.

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Immigration News

From CIS.org:

1. Video: Steven Camarota Discusses Birthright Citizenship on FOX News
2. Op-ed: What’s Next for Arizona?
3. Op-ed: The G.O.P. and Birthright Citizenship
4. Blog: JPMorgan Sends U.S. Jobs to India, Gets H-1Bs and Millions from USCIS
5. Blog: ICE Chief Morton to Field: See No Illegal Aliens
6. Blog: Book on Arizona Immigration Is a Missed Opportunity
7. Blog: A Tale of Two Governments: How They Report Illegal Haitian Migration
8. Blog: The Heavy Cost of Abandonment

— Mark Krikorian]

1.
Steven Camarota Discusses Birthright Citizenship Issues
FOX News Channel, August 16, 2010
http://www.youtube.com/user/CISORG#p/u/0/yQj5G1Qtqmo

2.
What’s Next for Arizona?
By Steven Camarota
NYTimes.com, August 22, 2010
http://www.cis.org/node/2192

Excerpt: Everyone agrees that Arizona has a huge illegal immigration problem. The government estimates nearly half a million illegal immigrants live in the state. My own research indicates that illegal immigrants account for one-third of state’s population lacking health insurance.

The state also spends roughly $2 billion a year on public education because of illegal immigration. Moreover, Americans who compete with illegal immigrants for jobs, those with no more than a high school education, have the highest rates of unemployment. In Arizona almost one in five of these less-educated Americans are out of work.

3.
The G.O.P. and Birthright Citizenship
By Steven Camarota
NYTimes.com, August 22, 2010
http://www.cis.org/node/2191

Excerpt: Critics of automatic citizenship for the children of illegal immigrants are certainly correct that the stakes are high. The Center for Immigration Studies, based on an analysis of birth records, found that there are 380,000 births a year to illegal immigrant mothers – one out of 10 births. The Pew Hispanic Center analyzed a Census Bureau survey and estimated it was 340,000 a year, or one out of 12 births. Either way, the numbers are enormous.

4.
JPMorgan Sends U.S. Jobs to India, Gets H-1Bs and Millions from USCIS
By David North
CIS Blog, August 20, 2010
http://www.cis.org/north/jpmorgan

Excerpt: We all know how nicely the Bush and Obama Administrations treated JPMorgan and the other big Wall Street banks.

But the fact that JPMorgan has a cushy relationship with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services may not be as well known.

5.
ICE Chief Morton to Field: See No Illegal Aliens
By Jessica Vaughan
CIS Blog, August 19, 2010
http://www.cis.org/vaughan/see-no-illegal-aliens

Excerpt: ICE’s misleadingly-named Office of State and Local Cooperation (OSLC) has announced the next step in the Obama administration’s efforts to drastically diminish the scope of immigration law enforcement. According to a draft policy document now being circulated among a limited group of stakeholders, ICE chief John Morton intends to prohibit not only his officers, but also local officers with 287(g) immigration authority, from busting illegal aliens who are discovered as a result of traffic violations.

6.
Book on Arizona Immigration Is a Missed Opportunity
By Jerry Kammer
CIS Blog, August 18, 2010
http://www.cis.org/kammer/missed-opportunity

Excerpt: Near the end of her beautifully written new book, Illegal: Life and Death in Arizona’s Immigration War Zone, Terry Greene Sterling makes a case for the Dream Act. That is the colloquial name of the legislative proposal that would provide legal status to many young people who were brought illegally to the U.S. by their parents and have shown a commitment to education.

7.
A Tale of Two Governments: How They Report Illegal Haitian Migration
By David North
CIS Blog, August 17, 2010
http://www.cis.org/north/tale-of-two-governments

Excerpt: This is a tale of how two governments, the mighty United States, and the not-so-mighty Bahamas, handle the same story – the apparently increasing illegal migration from Haiti.

If you look at a map, you can see that the quickest way to get from Haiti to the U.S. is through hundreds of miles of Bahamian waters.

8.
The Heavy Cost of Abandonment
By Jerry Kammer
CIS Blog, August 17, 2010
http://www.cis.org/kammer/abandonment

Excerpt: The call came from a college student. He wanted to know if we at CIS were aware of any studies about women who have been abandoned by husbands who have emigrated to the United States.

I encountered such women when I traveled in Mexico as a reporter. They were often struggling, not only to raise their children, but to come to grips with the crushing reality of abandonment.

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Harvard Divesting From Israel?

Harvard Investment Management Responds to Inquiry re their divestment of Israeli securities:

John Longbrake, Senior Communications manager at the Harvard Management Company:

Thank you for taking the time to write.

The Management Company’s most recent SEC filing details changes in holdings, as is routine, but no change in policy. The University has not divested from Israel. Israel was moved from the MSCI, our benchmark in emerging markets, to the EAFE index in May due to its successful growth. Our emerging markets holdings were rebalanced accordingly. We have holdings in developed markets, including Israel, through outside managers in commingled accounts and indexes, which are not reported in the filing in question.

A source says: Israeli High Tech Business Model Continues to Implode (HaAretz Aug 23) — before you knee jerk berate Harvard and others, it is not political it is responsible finance re underperforming assets:

Venture capital funds are to startups what banks are to businesses. With all due respect to “angels,” who finance startups that are little more than “an idea in a briefcase,” the venture funds are the main source of funding for young technology companies. If their model implodes, hundreds of startups throughout Israel could be at risk. Moreover, if the funding for these brash, innovative companies dries up, there will be less incentive for business giants of the world such as Intel and BMC to set up shop in Israel.

The worldwide venture capital model is at a crossroads. Here in Israel, it’s been four years since a technology company floated on the stock market, which is typically a point for venture capitalists to exit with profit. Israeli VC funds have had difficulty coming up with fresh capital for investment. But U.S. VC funds, the heart of the global venture industry, aren’t in much better shape. Is the entire model, based on the potential of high returns for great risk, crumbling? Some argue a shakeout is inevitable, but others say there are no viable alternatives.

An article titled “The VC Shakeout,” by Joseph Ghalbouni and Dominique Rouzies of the Harvard Business School, claims the model is mortally ill, and that many funds will disappear before it recovers. In the last year the funds’ quarterly IRR, or internal rate of return, has been in the single digits or negative, mainly because the companies haven’t been floating. In the first six months of 2010, only 26 companies went public on Wall Street, up from 12 the year before and 9 in 2008.

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Women In The Back Of The OU Bus?

Rabbi Rabbs emails me: “Staff members in the OU headquarters in NY that are expected to serve coffee to the other staffers. 100% women.”

I was emailed this about the Orthodox Union: Lay Leadership – National Officers
President Total women: 0%
Stephen J. Savitsky

Chairman of the Board Total women: 0%
Harvey Blitz

Chairman, Board of Governors Total women: 0%
Mark Bane

Senior Vice Presidents Out of 6 menbers, Total women: 0%
Emanuel J. Adler
Allen I. Fagin
Yitzchak Fund
Dr. Steven Katz
Dr. David Luchins
Martin Nachimson
Henry Rothman
Joseph Stechler

National Vice Presidents Out of 9 members, Total women: 0%
Fred Ehrman
Dr. Michael J. Elman
Martin Fineberg
Charles Harary
Aaron C. Kinderlehrer
Rabbi Moshe D. Krupka
Gerald Schreck
Dr. Shimmy Y. Tennenbaum
Michael C. Wimpfheimer
David Zeffren

Treasurer Total women: 0%
Roy Spiewak

Secretary Total women: 0%
Stanley Weinstein

Associate Vice Presidents Total women: 0%
Max Berlin
Behnam Dayanim
Stanley Hillelsohn
Gary Litke
Jonathan Mell
Paul Pinkus

Honorary Vice Chairmen, Board of Directors Total women: 0%
Seymour J. Abrams
Morry Weiss

Honorary Chairmen, Board of Governors Total women: 0%
Samuel L. Brennglass*
Marcel Weber

Honorary Vice Chairmen, Board of Governors. Total women: 0%
Dr. Mark Hasten
Jay L. Schottenstein

Honorary Presidents Total women: 0%
Julius Berman
Moses I. Feuerstein*
Mandell I. Ganchrow, MD
Harold M. Jacobs*
Joseph Karasick
Prof. Shimon Kwestel
Sheldon Rudoff

Honorary Vice Presidents Total women: 0%
Howard Tzvi Friedman
Elliot P. Gibber
Gus Jacobs
Dr. Bernard Lander*
Joseph Macy
Donald Press
Joel Schreiber
Harvey Wolinetz

Executive Vice President Total women: 0%
Rabbi Steven Weil

Executive Vicwe President, Emeritus Total women: 0%
Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb

Board of Directors Out of 59 members, 11 are women.Total of: 18% (some are married to the Rabbis or friends of the family):
Susan Alter, Cindy Darrison, Elizabeth Diamond, Lorraine Hoffman, Cheryl Leon, Dr. Marian Stoltz-Loike, Vivian Luchins, Isabelle Novak*, Miriam Shapiro (NCSY National President), Barbara Lehmann Siegel**, Esther Williams,
1.Seymour Adler
2.Mitchel R. Aeder
3.Susan Alter**
4.Yitz Applebaum
5.Hyman Arbesfeld
6.Terrence Augenbraun
7.Joseph Bensmihen (South Florida)***
8.Hon. Daniel Butler (Central East) ***
9.Adam Charney
10.Daniel Chill
11.Dr. Ben Chouake
12.Cindy Darrison
13.Elizabeth Diamond
14.Dennis Eisenberg
15.Dr. Stanley Frohlinger
16.Ari Fuchs (New Jersey) ***
17.Eli Genauer (Northwest) ***
18.David Gerstley
19.Alan Gindi
20.Marvin Herskowitz
21.Lorraine Hoffman**
22.Rabbi Emanuel Holzer
23.Dr. David Hurwitz
24.Mordecai Katz
25.Seymour Kraut
26.Dr. Benzion Krupka
27.Cheryl Leon
28.Morey Levovitz
29.Dr. Marian Stoltz-Loike
30.Vivian Luchins
31.Irwin Nachimson (West Coast) ***
32.David Nagel
33.Avery E. Neumark
34.Isabelle Novak**
35.Steve Orlow
36.Stuart Panish
37.Dr. Harry B. Peled
38.Joshua Penn
39.Barry Ray
40.Stanley Rosenberg
41.Steven Rosenberg
42.Dr. Howard Rosenthal
43.Eric Rothner
44.Zvi Sand (Israel) ***
45.Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld
46.Dr. Howard Shapiro
47.Miriam Shapiro (NCSY National President)
48.Steven Sholk
49.Barbara Lehmann Siegel**
50.Steven W. Tabak
51.William Tenenblatt
52.Jacob Weichholz
53.Gary Weiss
54.Heshy Wengrow (Chicago) ***
55.Esther Williams (Long Island) ** ***
56.Jerry Wolasky (Atlantic Seaboard) ***
57.Howard J. Wolf
58.Larry Zeifman (Canada) ***
59.David Zimble (New England) ***

Governors 3 women out of 44members. Total of 8%: Daisy Berman, Laurie Cooper Mrs. Joseph K. Miller)
1.Daisy Berman
2.Marvin Bienenfeld
3.Rabbi Hershel Billet
4.Larry Brown
5.Donald B. Butler
6.Laurie Cooper
7.Pace Cooper
8.Leon Eisenberg
9.Dr. Abraham Freilich
10.David Fund
11.Eugen Gluck
12.Rabbi Joseph Grunblatt
13.Rabbi Marvin Hier
14.Malcolm Hoenlein
15.Richard M. Joel
16.Rabbi Zev Leff
17.Gerald F. Lerman
18.Nathan Lewin
19.Alan Lipman
20.Rabbi Haskel Lookstein
21.Moses Marx
22.Mrs. Joseph K. Miller
23.Rabbi Michael Miller
24.Jack M. Nagel
25.Rabbi Sheftel M. Neuberger
26.David Novak
27.Terry Novetsky
28.Rabbi Ralph Pelcovitz
29.William Rapfogel
30.Dr. Marcel Reischer
31.Julius Rosenzweig
32.Kurt Rothschild
33.David Rubin
34.Lee Samson
35.Rabbi Jacob J. Schacter
36.Eli W. Schlossberg
37.Rabbi Max N. Schreier
38.Rabbi Allen Schwartz
Dr. Israel Singer
39.Franklyn Snitow
40.Dr. Edward L. Steinberg
41.Dr. Chaim M. Wasserman
42.Rabbi Berel Wein
43.Zev Wolfson
44.David Woolf

Yehudit Bat El emails: Shocking…As one can clearly see, the situation at OU and the modern orthodox community
is serious.As I demonstrated in this random checking the names on the lay and professional
leadership list. My goal in publishing this was not to ridicule nor blame but rather call on each
one of us to do Cheshbon Nefesh. This exercise should be repeated at your Shul, the schools
your kids attend and the Jewish courts, when needed. You will find that women, not only can
not serve in the Rabbinate but it manifested into all leadership/powerful positions in town: Rosh
Yeshiva nor Dayan or president of the Temple/Yeshiva… isn’t time to rethink this?

I know, we were brought up this way and don’t even notice it. I am convinced that the Kllal looses
when we are silenced…YET, there is a greater concern: What about our daughters? They attended
the finest universities… They deserve better. We raised and invested in them, just as much as we
did for our boys. Do we expect them to go to the back seats as 2nd rate members of the K’hilah?
What message are we giving them and what treatment should they expected from their husbands
and in the marketplace?

This list should serve as a WAKE UP call to all:
Erlicheh’ caring Avot in our town, who take great pride in their daughters, as well. The time has
come to institute changes and correct some inherit wrongs in our Derech, as it is written:
“And G-d said: Let there be light…” Let us illuminate the darkness setting on us. Amen, Ken Yehee Ratzon!

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And The Lord Took Pharoah For Therapy

In a 1996 lecture on Exodus 14, Dennis Prager says: I want the God who wreaks vengeance on bad people. That is Jewish glory — to reward the good and to punish the bad. That is glory in Judaism. It is not politically correct glory in 1996 America. In 1996 America, it is to have compassion on the wicked.

Perhaps God should’ve had a rehabilitation program for Pharoah. If a politically correct Torah were written, it would be the Lord took Pharoah for therapy. And the Lord saw that he seemed fine, and He let him out. He went before the divine parole board and he said, I’m a new Pharoah. I hate slavery.

I don’t cringe that God drowned these characters in the sea.

The gods of the Pharoahs are believed in by nobody. The God who took the Jews out of Egypt is the God Egyptians believe in.

Here’s an example of the Jewish trait of bitter sarcasm:

As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. 11 They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!””

Dennis: “This is classic Jewish complaining. It’s eery. Jews have a bitter sarcastic form of complaining. What’s the matter? We didn’t have enough graves in Egypt.

“That’s so classically Jewish as a form of complaint.

“If you wanted tombs, we were in the land of tombs.

“It’s a good line. Jews may complain, but they do it with wit! For this cantaloupe, I had to come here? I could’ve had this cantaloupe at home.

“Not, I don’t like the food. It has to be a bitter dig.

“I don’t know if converts have this. Do you get it when you dip into the mikveh? Does the sarcasm come through the water?

“That’s how you know a true conversion. Do they become bigger complainers than they were prior to the conversion?”

“Five times the Israelites mention Egypt like it was a great place.”

NIV: “Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.””

Nachum Sarna notes that after the drowning, Egypt is never again mentioned in the Torah. It’s eery.

We are not born free. We work toward being free. Life is to work towards freedom and the Jewish view is that you can’t have freedom without God and law.

That’s why so many modern people are addicted — they have neither law nor God.

NIV 16: 3: “The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.””

This hyperbole. You’re killing me. I’m dying. I’m dead. The Jews are always dying. There’s no little problem. You don’t often hear a Jew say, “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not a big deal” is not a Jewish statement. It’s a WASP statement. “I’m dying” is a Jewish statement.

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The Centrality Of The Exodus To Judaism

In a 1996 lecture on Exodus 13, Dennis Prager says: Christianity has a central moment — the crucifixion. For Jews, it is the Exodus. Exodus means leaving Egypt. This has to be understood philosophically. Egypt means idols, bondage and death and the Exodus means God, freedom and life.

Egypt could’ve been anywhere. It could’ve been the Exodus from Thailand. Egypt is the norm, the Torah is the abnorm. The norm is to be pre-occupied with death. The norm is bondage, servitude and slavery. The norm is to be pre-occupied with idols.

You can easily go back to Egypt. That’s the whole point of remembering the Exodus.

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JJ: ‘L.A. religious leaders join support for New York Islamic center’

Yeah, but they are all left-wing religious leaders.

When it is only right-wing religious leaders who support something, they are always labeled as right-wing, but when it is left-wingers joining together to support something, they’re just “religious leaders.”

Here’s the LA Times headline: “L.A. faith leaders support Muslim center in New York”

Yeah, I’m sure the majority of L.A. faith leaders support this. Or perhaps only the left-wing ones?

Check out this paragraph from the JJ:

“I don’t want, for one moment, in the shadow of this, not to make a comment about Temecula, “ said Rabbi Steven Jacobs of Temple Kol Tikvah in Woodland Hills, referring to another instance of public opposition to building plans for a mosque. A city of 105,000 in Riverside County, Temecula is about 90 miles from Los Angeles, and over 2,700 miles from Ground Zero. “You may talk about New York, but in our own vast city of Los Angeles, there are religious leaders standing up and saying the same thing about a mosque being built in the midst of their city. How tragic. It is not about New York. It’s about the soul of America.”

Yeah, well, Rabbi Steven Jacobs is suspected of hiring a hitman to murder his mistress (according to the Michele Samit book No Sanctuary). Some religious leader.

From Kirkus Reviews: “At first, Anita was willing to be his slave, but as she grew powerful (as president of her temple), she fell into an affair with the temple’s rabbi [Steven Jacobs], a practiced seducer whose escapades were pointedly ignored by his big-money congregation.”

Here’s his sweet bio at koltikvah.org:

Action, commitment, service, spirituality, resistance, and story telling have characterized the sixty-seven years of Rabbi Steven Jacobs’ life. As a young child, he was influenced by two life-changing events. First, he witnessed a young Black boy being harassed. This sparked in him the intense emotions that have ever since fueled his pursuit of racial equality. Then, at age thirteen, a nine-year-old boy died in his arms as a result of a drowning accident. Although his faith in God was jolted as a result, he knew at this early age that he was to become a Rabbi.

Motivated by a sense of the many injustices in the world, Rabbi Jacobs has actively pursued solutions to right the wrong. The issues for which he has the greatest passion include civil rights, Black and Jewish community relations, Muslim and Jewish relations, interfaith missions and religious pluralism. Dedicated to improving the status quo, he devotes his energy and time in ways that truly do make a difference. He is committed to his congregants, being available for their religious and spiritual needs at any time. Celebrating and grieving together has become a significant part of his daily life. Fairness for all and the idea of tikkun olam, healing the world, keep Rabbi Jacobs busy. Outreach to non-Jews and a desire and sensitivity for social action continuously shapes his Rabbinate.

For the past thirty-six years, Rabbi Jacobs has served the San Fernando Valley community. Rabbi Steven Jacobs was part of the interfaith delegation to Yugoslavia with Rev. Jesse Jackson, which brought about the release of the captured American soldiers. The Rabbi actively participated with service union workers for wage reform, striving for a living wage for all and supported the janitor and health care union protests. During the post-election 2000 uncertainty, Rabbi Jacobs emerged as the prime force in the renewal of the Black-Jewish Coalition. He joined Kweisi Mfume of the NAACP, Ralph Neas of the People for the American Way, and the Rev. Jesse Jackson in speaking before Jewish and Black synagogues and churches on behalf of the disenfranchised Black, Jewish, Haitian and student voters in Florida. For these and other activities throughout his life, Rabbi Jacobs received the 2001 Walter Cronkite Faith and Freedom Award.

He is currently on the Executive Board of Washington D.C.-based Faith in Public Life, a member of the Muslim-American Homeland Security Congress of the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, and since his retirement from the pulpit, he has founded the Rabbi Steven B. Jacobs Progressive Faith Foundation. Rabbi Jacobs serves on several national boards of directors including Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice, Faith in Public Life, J. St., Southern Christian Leadership Conference, and Equality California. Shaping more than the community, Rabbi Jacobs also enjoys sculpting, an avocation that he has had for many years. He and his wife Linda also enjoy spending many spring and summer evenings at Dodger Stadium with any combination of their six children and their spouses and their five grandchildren.

Somehow it doesn’t mention “practiced seducer.”

Here are some of the other religious giants in today’s announcement:

“The President said he would not comment on the wisdom of building a mosque and a community center in Lower Manhattan,” said Stephen Rohde, co-president of Progressive Jewish Alliance and chair of Interfaith Communities United for Justice and Peace.

…Rabbi Jonathon Klein of Clergy and Laity United for Economic Justice (CLUE) pointed to the project’s multiple uses.

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Jewish Law Vs Islamic Law Vs Christian Law

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager says: Sharia is Islamic religious law. Jews have an analogue — halakha. Christianity does not have an all-embracing law that governs everything you do.

There was a time in Jewish history when Jews sought a halakhic state. Now the vast majority of religious Jews have made peace with the fact that halakha is a personal matter and only in a few issues in Israel would it matter for state policy. For example, do you serve kosher food on El Al airlines? The IDF in Israel does serve kosher food.

A major difference is that Judaism, at its most, has only believed in a halakhic state for Jews. There was never a notion that the non-Jew anywhere else in the world is obliged to halakha (and only in Israel in a few areas in a utopian scheme of things). The concept is unknown.

For Muslims, that is a different story. The desire to have all of humanity governed by sharia is a fundamental Muslim goal. Christians would like the world Christian but it doesn’t come with any Christian law as such. People’s faith and hearts might be changed but there is no religious body of law governing all of life.

There are many aspects of sharia that are morally troubling. Wherever Islam has been put into practice by a state, there are sharia practices that are immoral such as the couple just stoned in Iran or the banning of women driving in Saudi Arabia.

It may not be driving. It might be holding hands in public or wearing a skirt near the knee.

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You Have 30 Days To Say Something Nice To Me

I loved some of the calls to Dennis Prager’s happiness hour today.

Tim from Van Nuys: “I dated a woman for about 13 years.”

“I was trying to make her happy. I was in love with her.”

“She didn’t want to be married.”

Dennis: “Boy, are you lucky.”

Tim: “The reward that she was getting was that I was constantly buying her things. I was constantly taking her out to dinner. She would see me as a happy person and see my friends as happy people and she’d say they’re just phonies.”

“I am married now to a happy person. What finally ended the relationship with the other person was that I gave her an ultimatum — she had 30 days to say something nice to me. And she couldn’t.”

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The $300 Brake Job

I haven’t used one tank of gas this summer. I’ve been frugal with my driving.

It helps that my brakes don’t work too well, almost to the point where I’ll open the door and drag my feet along the crowd to bring the monster to a halt.

So, in retrospect, the $300 I spent on fixing my brakes on Thursday was a good investment.

I look forward to therapy all week because I get to swear and totally trash people. Today I used “freaked me the f*** out” three times in one minute.

My therapist wants me to think about ways I “thwart intimacy.”

Torah is great for thwarting intimacy. I just obey G-d’s commandments and normal relations with 99% of humanity are thwarted. And it’s all because I’m doing the will of the Master of the Universe.

I’m not socially retarded. I’m just Orthodox.

As Bill Margold said, I wave my religion like a bloody flag.

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