An Advantage To Being Single

As a single man, I dream of having a great marriage.

If I were married to someone of my level, my dream would be gone. I’d be stuck with reality, with the hard work of making a relationship work. I might very well be stuck in a bad marriage spiraling downhill.

By staying single, one has hope. When you get married, I suspect you lose a lot of hope.

I’ve been in relationships where I felt stuck and disappointed. There was no longer any sexual attraction. The whole thing seemed pointless.

I guess I live in fantasyland much of the time.

As I click around on frumster.com and send icebreakers, I feel great anxiety. I’m finding people struggling like me. I’m sure they too have hopes of a great marriage. I’m sure they want to be taken out of their humdrum lives and to a higher plane.

On frumster, I confront reality. On other websites, I can dream.

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Violating The U.S. Constitution

How does a cross to honor a dead highway patrolman favor Christianity?

SALT LAKE CITY — The 14 crosses erected along Utah roads to commemorate fallen state Highway Patrol troopers convey a state preference for Christianity and are a violation of the U.S. Constitution, a federal appeals court said Wednesday.

The ruling reverses a 2007 decision by a federal district judge that said the crosses communicate a secular message about deaths and were not a public endorsement of religion. It’s the latest in a recent rash of mixed-bag rulings on the public use of crosses.

A three-judge panel from Denver’s 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said in its 38-page ruling that a “reasonable observer” would conclude that the state and the Utah Highway Patrol were endorsing Christianity with the cross memorials.

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager says: Every time the left thinks something, it’s either because the constitution says it is there, like the right to an abortion, or violate the constitution. They are the constitution. For the leftist, they are the living embodiment of the constitution. If they feel X, then X must be constitutional. They are coequal to the constitution.

Ask your left-wing friends if there is anything in the constitution that violates their beliefs?

“Constitutional” has become as meaningless as the left-wing use of the word “racist.”

What would you put on the side of the road to mark that an officer died there? Flowers?

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The Wisdom Of Erecting A Mosque Near Ground Zero

Charles Krauthammer writes:

Why is America fighting Predator wars in Pakistan and Yemen, surveilling thousands of conversations and financial transactions every day, and engaged in military operations against radical Muslims everywhere from the Philippines to Somalia — because of 19 crazies, all of whom died nine years ago?

Radical Islam is not, by any means, a majority of Islam. But with its financiers, clerics, propagandists, trainers, leaders, operatives and sympathizers — according to a conservative estimate, it commands the allegiance of 7 percent of Muslims, i.e., more than 80 million souls — it is a very powerful strain within Islam. It has changed the course of nations and affected the lives of millions. It is the reason every airport in the West is an armed camp and every land is on constant alert.

Ground Zero is the site of the most lethal attack of that worldwide movement, which consists entirely of Muslims, acts in the name of Islam and is deeply embedded within the Islamic world. These are regrettable facts, but facts they are. And that is why putting up a monument to Islam in this place is not just insensitive but provocative.

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How Not To Relate To Black Jews

I’m acquainted with about a dozen black Jews in Pico-Robertson.

I think the first one I met was at Bnai David in 1994 at a Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz talk and I went up to him and said, “You don’t meet many black Jews” and proceeded to question him.

I don’t think it was his favorite social interaction.

Blog post:

I understand that for some it is very interesting, or “unique,” to meet a Jew of color, but one must understand that it is rude and halachically unacceptable to personally interrogate with every Jew you meet. Furthermore, not every Jew of color is a convert, and even if they are, halachically speaking, you are in no way allowed to ask a convert (of color or otherwise), their story, their past, or anything that reminds them that they are a convert. Additionally, what makes one think that within 30 seconds of meeting someone, a convert would want to open up and tell you their whole life story? Why would they be comfortable revealing the fine details of what made them decide to convert, and how they became interested in Yiddishkeit to begin with, to someone they just met? It is especially rude to ask while your children are staring and pointing at this new person during davening as if they have never seen a person of color in their life before, while you try to have an allegedly deep conversation. This only adds to the awkwardness of the situation for the interrogated. Instead, it is perhaps better to reconsider how or if you have taught your children proper manners. Also, for some reason people think that it is a short, simple story. If it took someone their entire lifetime, thus far, to find their truth, why imply that it is a tale easily summed up in a three-minute story by putting them on the spot under very awkward circumstances?

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Only Half Of Those Polled Regard Obama As A Christian

Here’s the news story.

My thought — there’s little that is distinctively Christian about Obama.

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager says: Here are some possible reasons.

* The only church we have him associated with celebrated race more than religion. It was not a black church in the way we understand black churches. It was a fringe-type church where blackness was celebrated at least as much as Christianity and Jesus is changed into a black man. There’s no reason to believe Jesus was black.

* People get vibes. Sometimes our vibes are wrong, so you can’t go only by vibes. I accept the president is a Christian.

* “He has an affinity and an inner positive gut reaction that is not shared by most Americans…with Islam. He has said it himself. He said in Cairo that he recalls warmly the muezzin (Muslim call to prayer).”

* The president’s behavior and vocabulary does not send Christian vibes.

* If a conservative Muslim ran against a left-wing Jew, I’d vote for the conservative Muslim.

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Is Frugal Sexy?

I’ve always been careful with my money. I’ve never had a lot of it.

So, is frugal sexy?

For the overwhelming majority of women, frugality in a man is not attractive.

For most men, frugality in a woman is a good trait for a potential spouse.

Ron Lieber writes:

“My suspicion is that the value of frugality depends on whose money will presumably be spent,” said Reuben Strayer, 34, a physician in Manhattan who does not broadcast his profession or true income in online personals. He always pays for the first date and does not object to providing for a wife one day, he adds; he just doesn’t want to attract the kind of woman who is specifically looking for someone who will do so.

But even if many men still make more money than women and are wary of mates who would want them to spend it, they may not want to advertise it. “Frugality may or may not have anything to do with how much he loves you,” said BJ Gallagher, 61, an experienced online dater and author of several self-help books for women. “But for a lot of women, love looks like ‘Take care of me and give me things.’ ”

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Jack Roth’s Book Store RIP

In A 1995 lecture on Exodus 7, Dennis Prager: “A real loss to Los Angeles Jewry took place when Jack Roth’s book store closed. It was a blow. It was the best Jewish book store perhaps in the world, and certainly in the United States.”

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What Do Secular Jews Have In Common?

In a 1995 lecture on Exodus 6, Dennis Prager says: I have more in common with a Falashan Jew in Ethiopia with whom I can’t correspond than I do with a secular Jew in LA. Torah is what makes us Jewish.

What does a secular Jew in LA have with a secular Jew in France? Nothing. People say, Jewish food. That’s not correct. Middle Eastern Jews eat an entirely different diet. Yiddish? Yiddish is European. The other half of Jewry spoke Ladino.

There’s nothing secular Jews have in common with other secular Jews in different cultures.

There was a humanistic synagogue. In my more firebrand years, I am mellow compared to what I was 20 years ago, I would walk into gladiatorial combat with anyone. I remember going to Detroit to debate the founder of Humanistic Judaism, a rabbi in Birmingham [Sherwin T. Wine], Michigan. I’ve come close to knowing what it is like to go in the ring with trainers behind you massaging you and getting you ready with towels and a bucket of water.

This evening had thousands of Jews coming to scream on the one they were rooting for — the humanist or the religious one. I had my backers. He had his backers. It was like a prize fight. It bothered me in some way. I don’t think anyone came to be enlightened but just to see major gladiatorial combat.

Do you know what he did in his synagogue? They would get together Friday night. And do you know what they would read? Philip Roth. They had a Torah — it was in the library.

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Ohr Somayach’s hatred even of Modern Orthodox rabbis

David Kelsey emails: “You idiot! You moron. You katan. You cow. You idiot!”

This is how Rabbi Orlofsky, a former NCSY leader and “kiruv professional” talks to his students at Ohr Somayach about Rabbi Weinreb, a scholar and a gentleman, and emeritus spiritual leader of the Orthodox Union. Many even outside strict Orthodox circles admire Rabbi Weinreb because he is a thoughtful, complex, and compassionate thinker.

What was Rabbi Weinreb’s provocation? Defending Rabbi Slifkin’s right to publish a book that embraced evolutionary theory and an earth older than 6,000 years.

And yet…NCSY, an Orthodox Union subsidiary, continues to quietly send public school teenagers to Ohr Somayah and Neve Yerushalayim, and are afforded greater and greater access to non-Orthodox Jews from the public school system through their “cultural” program, the Jewish Student Union. Yeshiva University continues to maintain a relationship with Ohr Somayach’s Derech Institute.

Please listen to Rabbi Orlofsky’s two podcasts on Failed Messiah: http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2010/08/audio-what-ohr-somayach-teaches-its-students-567.html#comments

Rabbi Burg, isn’t it time to officially break ties with this institution, just as NCSY would with ANY institution belonging to a non-Orthodox Jewish denomination? Isn’t it time to make it official NCSY policy that Ohr Somayach and her sister school, Neve Yerushalyim, are outside the paradigm of acceptable institutions for your advisers to facilitate public school graduate attendance?

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The Importance Of Names

In a 1995 lecture on Exodus 5, Dennis Prager says: Names in Bible are very important. Adam names the animals. When you name something, you are giving it essence. That’s why the Nazis took the Jews names away and gave them numbers like cattle.

My wife got very sad when one of our fish died, which was particularly funny as she had just had a tuna sandwich for lunch. I pointed out to her, ‘Fran, how sad can you get? You just had a tuna melt.’

She started laughing and crying at the same time.

I realized why she had gotten sad over the death of one of our fish. We had unwisely named our fish. If you eat a sandwich and it was really a Jerry sandwich, you were having Jerry for lunch, you’d recoil. A tuna sandwich is not a problem.

I vowed after I saw my wife’s reaction, we are no longer naming our fish. It’s a puffer, it’s a yellow tang, and that’s it. Just tonight, a yellow tang died. Nothing. Dennis, could you take that out? It’s ugly. There was no emotional connection because it was a yellow tang. Name is essence.

Look at how much thought parents give. Some do. My parents happened not to. They wanted a girl. They already had a boy. They knew they were only going to have two. They were going to name the girl Denise. That’s how I got the name Dennis. There was no other thought.

…It is totally wrong to regard G-d as just the creator of the universe who doesn’t know you. That’s equivalent functionally to atheism. A personal G-d is critical but only a personal G-d is not Jewish. It is too personally pre-occupied and does not ask the big questions [about others].

The Jew in me does react negatively when I hear non-Jews speak in America that G-d said to me, G-d told me, G-d came to me, G-d operated with this… Part of me loves it and part of me is hesitant.

One man said that the killer of Yitzhak Rabin was sent by God. How do you know?

That’s why you need organized religion or all of us will go around deeply spiritual and hearing whatever we want to hear from G-d.

The faith of the patriarchs isn’t Judaism. It’s monotheism. It isn’t Sinai. Sinai begins Judaism. How do you know that G-d didn’t say go and murder this man? Because I will give you Ten Commandments say do not murder. That’s why Abraham will go to sacrifice Isaac. There are no rules against it. We don’t have the slightest sense of hesitation by Abraham.

Spirituality without organized religion is dangerous. You hear what you want to hear.

I believe G-d has played a role in my life but in consonance with my religion.

The Muslims who go around and blow themselves up and kill as many men, women, and children as possible tell you that G-d told them. They never say, the Koran told me.

There were Nazi soldiers who went with a belt that said G-d is with us. Hitler thought he was doing G-d’s work with the Holocaust. But he never said, I read in James that one should exterminate the Jews. It’s easy to say G-d wants me to gas Jews. Find me in your religion where it says that. Religion is a brake on too personalizing G-d. Religion is the brake on self-worship.

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