How Come So Few Print Journalists Are Hot?

I don’t get it. About a quarter of young female lawyers are hot. About a quarter of young female professionals are hot. Yet print journalism attracts 99% dogs. Why? I love journalism and I love women and I’d really love to love female journalists, but why can’t more of them look like Emmanuelle Richard and a young Cathy Seipp?

I guess the profession requires so much exertion that the female print journalists are just too sweaty to look good. The hot ones don’t go into it. But why? Why do I have to suffer?

Not many female bloggers are hot either. What’s up with that?

How come half the hot female journalists in the world work either at the Jewish Journal or Reason magazine?

There’s some Zionist plot here I am unable to untangle.

I don’t think I want too much. I don’t think I am being unreasonable. I just want female journalists to look like actresses and to act like them too.

It just all seems very unfair.

I want life to be more exciting.

God hates me.

Frankly, I blame the gays.

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Five Hour Energy

My friend Josh just tried the Five Hour Energy drink for the first time. He says he feels great. It was a real kick in the pants.

He also found a boost from FRS.com products as well as from the dark bitter powder prescribed him by his cute Chinesy acupuncturist as well as from Renewin joint care capsules.

I regret that my fierce commitment to the Jewish dietary laws prevents me from sampling these products.

I find that hanging around intellectual people I like gives me energy as well as Torah study and therapeutic breakthroughs and Dallas Cowboy victories and the rapt attention of hot curvy chicks.

What depresses my energy:

* Lack of female attention
* Lack of attention
* Loneliness
* Getting kicked out shuls/schools/social groups
* Struggling through boring books and uninspiring davening
* Long Torah readings
* Dallas Cowboy defeats
* Poverty

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Japanese Lawyers visit Ponevyz Yeshiva in Bnei Brak

The lawyers represent three chasidic teenagers who are on trial for drug smuggling in Japan.

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I Am Ready To Share My Holocaust Story

From my live cam:

guest33:  Mister Ford, I know that you are much older than you look.  And I know that you were merely adopted into the Ford family.
guest33:  When are you going to share with us your Holocaust story?
guest33:  The tale of personal redemption that enabled you to make it out of Treblinka whole, sane, and set for personal growth?
ChaimAmalek:  You would go farther in Hollywood if you shared your Holocaust experience with us
ChaimAmalek:  How you once visited the Museum of Tolerance with a date, and then began to flashback….
ChaimAmalek:  ….to the time you were watching "Schindler’s List" with a hostile but bosomy shiksa
YourMoralLeader:  i need to make congress — I have a sweeping vision
SeymourButts:  Hey. YML. If you need Congress with a woman, how about Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton?
ChaimAmalek:  If you were making decent money, you would be able to buy yourself a congresswoman.
ChaimAmalek:  Then the two of you could legislate your brains out.
ChaimAmalek:  I am trying to raise serious money to get a job
ChaimAmalek:  I figure I need a million or so dollars to become a United States Senator

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Phony Holocaust Memoir

From the Jewish Journal:

The recent news about the memoir by Herman Rosenblat, “Angel at the Fence,” being canceled is a major disappointment to, movie producer, agent, Oprah fans and the Jewish community. Rosenblat said he met his wife while a prisoner at a concentration camp during the Holocaust. Turns out, the love story isn’t so lovely.

Andrea Hurst, Rosenblats agent, said in a statement: “It is with heavy heart that I share what I learned today from my client, Herman Rosenblat, about his book, ‘Angel at the Fence.’ Herman revealed to me that part of his memoir was not true. He’d invented the crux of this amazing love story–about the girl at the fence who threw him an apple–which drew my attention when I read it in a major magazine [Guideposts] two years ago. All of the story about Herman in the concentration camps and the love and survival of him and his brothers, he states is true. I understand why Berkley has chosen to withdraw publication of this book. Like millions of others who read this story or saw Herman and Roma on Oprah, I never for a moment questioned the authenticity of the widely circulated story. I know that everyone who has worked so hard with Herman this past year is as stunned and disappointed as I am that this story of hope has such a sad ending.”

“Berkley will demand that the author and the agent return all money that they have received for this work,“ said Berkley Books (unit of Penguin Books) spokesman Craig Burke in a statement release by Reuters.

Deborah Lipstadt, Dorot Professor of Modern Jewish and Holocaust Studies at Emory University, Atlanta, denied the story months ago. She even publishes an e-mail exchange with Harris Solomon, producer of the proposed Rosenblat film.

According to many news organizations, The New Republic released one of the first stories about the books cancellation.

HERE’S MORE FROM THE JEWISH JOURNAL:

Father William Sanchez wears a Star of David pendant on the same chain as his crucifix, and he keeps a menorah in his parish office. After a DNA test confirmed his Sephardic roots, the Albuquerque priest has been actively reconciling this discovery with his Catholic beliefs.

“Knowledge of my Jewish ancestry has provoked me to question things, yes,“ Sanchez says in the book, “Abraham’s Children: Race, Identity and the DNA of the Chosen People” by Jon Entine (Grand Central, 2007).

Looking back over his childhood in New Mexico, Sanchez now recognizes the Jewish signs: his parents shunning pork, spinning tops during Christmas and covering the mirrors at home if someone in the family died.

For Crypto-Jews like Sanchez, DNA testing services can confirm or disprove suspicions about a hidden Jewish family history, uncover unknown genetic disease risks or inspire greater exploration of Judaism. For small populations in Africa and Asia, genetic research has shed light on claims of Jewish ancestry and provided a better understanding of Jewish migration over thousands of years.

But critics fear that Jewish genetic research also opens a Pandora’s box. The discovery of a shared genetic marker among men who claim to be descended from Kohanim grew into wild, exaggerated claims in the media that geneticists had confirmed the story of Aaron. Some have decried research exploring a genetic basis for Ashkenazi intelligence as politically incorrect and racist, since all humans are 99.9 percent similar.

Entine believes exploring that .1 percent is worth getting researchers riled up.

An American Enterprise Institute fellow and former NBC news producer, Entine is no stranger to controversy. He tackled the topic of race in sports with “Taboo: Why Black Athletes Dominate Sports and Why We’re Afraid to Talk About It” (PublicAffairs Books, 1999), which was lauded by Scientific American as a “well-researched, relatively thorough and lucidly written case.“

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Hanukkah Lights At LA Live

Kevin Roderick reports on last night’s Lakers victory: "A pre-game rock band from Chabad marked the end of Hanukkah on the plaza at L.A. Live. By game’s end, all evidence of Jewishness was gone and recorded Christmas music blared while a fake tree changed colors. * Photos!: Ed Fuentes, who blogs at View from a Loft and Blogdowntown, got pictures of the band and of Robert Downey Jr. helping to light the menorah. Flickr"

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New Indian Chabad House Seeks Out Gentiles

Maybe Judaism has a mission to the world?

Dennis Prager will approve.

From the Jerusalem Post:

Gentiles will be the focus of a new Chabad House to be opened in northern India’s Himachal Pradesh state.

Inspired to increase its activities in the wake of last month’s terrorist attacks in Mumbai, Chabad plans to open a new center in Dharamsala "for all the nations," to promulgate Judaism among non-Jews and encourage adherence to the Seven Noahide Laws.

The Dalai Lama’s Tibetan government-in exile has been located there for decades.

Rabbi Dror Shaul, 38, runs the existing Dharamsala Chabad House, and hopes to open the new center by March.

"The town has thousands of visitors throughout the year, some of whom are Jews, many not," Shaul told The Jerusalem Post on Thursday.

He is in Israel accompanying his wife, Michal, who is expecting their seventh child.

"All of the people who come are in search of spirituality and it’s time that they find the true spirituality – Judaism," he said.

Yet Shaul, who has lived in Dharamsala with his family for 10 years, has no intention of converting non-Jews.

Rather, in accordance with the teachings of the late Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, Shaul wants to encourage the nations of the world to adhere to seven laws that, according to Jewish tradition, were given to Noah, the biblical figure who is seen as the ancestor of all humanity.

These laws are the prohibitions against murder, theft, sexual licentiousness, idolatry, blasphemy and tearing off a live animal’s limb, as well as the obligation to create a just legal system.

However, although Shaul sees himself as a Chabad emissary, the mainstream leadership of Chabad does not recognize him.

A spokesman for Chabad in Israel, who preferred to remain anonymous, said Shaul’s initiative was not approved by Chabad’s leadership and that Shaul did not represent the Hassidic movement.

The spokesman added that the Chabad House in Dharamsala was one several unofficial ones in India. He added that these Chabad Houses were affiliated with the movement’s messianic wing.

Asked about his status within Chabad’s official institutions, Shaul said he was aware of the "political infighting" within the movement’s ranks. But he added that he did his best to distance himself.

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Economy Drives Shul Merges

There’s no longer a significant difference between Reform and Conservative Judaism so why not merge these two movements as well?

Attorney Anita Susan Brenner writes:

This week, Rabbi Eric Yoffie, the leader of the Union for Reform Judaism, suggested that due to the post-Madoff economic crisis, some communities "may no longer be able to afford multiple synagogues." The solution is to merge Reform and Conservative shuls in order to survive. (See "Yoffie Sees Shul Mergers" and "To save cash, Yoffie raises possibility of merging Reform, Conservative shuls" ).

New York Jewish Week notes "formal mergers between Conservative and Reform synagogues, movements that retain notable distinctions in theological outlook and liturgy, remain rare. Some eight American synagogues are members of both movements."

All of this struck a nerve because I grew up in a merged shul — Temple Isaiah in Palm Springs, California, which served the needs of all Jews for a 60-mile radius.

When you are a minority in a small town, internal distinctions are less significant. Reform. Conservative. Orthodox. Unaffliated. Secular. Survivors. Veterans. Yiddish-speakers. Poets. Socialists. Conservatives. Those who doubt God and those who do not. We were all Jews. Where I grew up, we all went to one shul.

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Behind Caroline Kennedy

From New York magazine:

Today the Observer has some suggestions of why the New York Post may have endorsed the inexperienced Caroline Kennedy so quickly and giddily for Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat. Was it because:

• She helped get News Corp. owner Rupert Murdoch’s kids into school?
• She is like totally besties with News Corp. spokesman Gary Ginsberg, who went to Brown with her late brother JFK Jr.?
• Rupert hates her seemingly most prominent rival for the job, Andrew Cuomo?

FROM GAWKER: "The entire Kennedy clan’s success is predicated on projecting a false sense of inherent goodness while pulling the wool over the American public’s collective eyes, because they are supposed to be some sort of heroic do-gooding contingency that espouses relatively liberal beliefs that anyone with common sense does as well. In reality, they are nothing but a sleazy criminal enterprise, aristocratic and elitist, that used every devious trick in the book to gain their footing in America. I really fail to see how people can support them and claim them as some sort of nobility since they represent everything that populist people are supposed to hate. They were proponents of black people being treated like human beings, and don’t hate the gays or the poors? All is forgiven! Their family history makes Blago look like a friggin angel."

The NJG:  destroy them
The NJG:  also
The NJG:  let’s bring up the William Kennedy Smith rape case again
The NJG:  or the other murder case, the shriver nephew
The NJG:  I can not stand the Kennedys
The NJG:  bunch of cheating irish drunks
The NJG:  and what about the Kerry Kennedy scandal?
The NJG:  remember that?
The NJG:  looks like the observer at observer.com is going after her
The NJG:  right – the kennedy cuomo divorce as well
The NJG:  she is NOT fit to be senator!
The NJG:  oh and datalounge has the DISH on her
The NJG:  "Her 300+ acre Martha’s Vineyard estate was specially zones for "agriculture" so the heiress pays almost no property taxes on it. But no journalist will ask her about that"

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Dexter Filkins, The Forever War

This is a great book. Here’s my favorite story so far:

‘"We’ve got this girl here in the company – blonde, she’s hot," the captain said. "This is when we were up in Mosul. We had to search all these villages for guns. Those villages are awful up there. So we went into this village and put the blonde girl we had on top of one of the Bradleys. We just rolled in and put her up there and took off her helmet and let her hair spill out.

 So she’s standing there on top of the Bradley, blond hair and everything, and we called out on the loudspeaker, ‘This Woman is for sale. Blond woman for sale!’ And I’ll be damned if every Iraqi male in that village wasn’t gathered around the Bradley in about minutes. You know the Iraqis are crazy for blondes. Crazy for them. They don’t have any there."’

"So she’s standing up there on the Bradley, and we’d have an auction. Highest bid gets the blonde! They’re going crazy, the Iraqis, offering their goats, trucks, all their money. Children. Everything. I’m standing up there, saying, "Nope, not enough! Not enough!’ And they’re bidding more…

"So we’re up there having the auction, and during the auction I sent our guys around back into the houses to look for guns. We’re having the auction and all the Iraqis are at the auction yelling for the blonde while our guys are collecting the gun from the houses. It was totally quiet in the houses, just the women in there."

What happened with the auction?

"We just shut it down… We did that in three villages. Worked every time. We got reprimanded. Somebody found out about it."

Luke says: I can’t stop raving about this book. It is mesmerizing. It is hard to put down. This book is horrifying. Gritty. Real. I can’t believe the courage of the man who wrote it. I could never do what he did.

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