‘The Tenacy of Unreasonable Beliefs’ II

Here’s the second part of my interview with author Solomon Schimmel. bRead reviews of the book "The Tenacity of Unreasonable Beliefs: Fundamentalism and the Fear of Truth" here.

Solomon: "To the extent that I am ethical and moral — I don’t want to present myself as any tzaddik (righteous man) — a lot of it comes from the teachings of Orthodox Judaism. My first two books are exactly about that — The Seven Deadly Sins: Jewish, Christian, and Classical Reflections on Human Psychology and Wounds Not Healed by Time: The Power of Repentance and Forgiveness. They try to make the case that there is so much richness of psychological insight and wisdom and and value to people even if they don’t accept the dogmatic religious doctrines in which these teachings are embedded… One can learn a lot about anger or envy or greed…without believing that these teachings are divinely revealed. It might weaken to some extent the force and power, but overall I don’t believe that doubting that the Torah was given by God at Mount Sinai is going to make anyone unethical."

Luke: "How excited are those who hold this traditional belief to engage in this question?"

Solomon: "I think they’re not excited at all."

"I’ll give you an example from my shul. I have an open-minded rabbi of a very liberal [Orthodox] shul where a lot of the members are closer to me in their beliefs than they are to the traditional Orthodox formulations… We have an adult education committee and we invite scholars in residence for weekends. Several months ago, I suggested that we invite [Bible scholar] James Kugel."

Luke: Dr. Kugel has been a scholar in residence at Bnai David-Judea and at Young Israel of Century City. At neither place did he say anything heretical.

Solomon: "Kugel lived in this community for many years. He is a Sephardic Jew. He helped set up the Sephardic congregation in Newton Center. He is strictly shomer shabbat, he is a strictly Orthodox Jew. He doesn’t even like to be called "orthoprax". He claims that he fits the definition of Orthodox… We’ve discussed this issue. His book ‘How to Read the Bible’ accepts the validity of modern Biblical scholarship… He taught this at Harvard.

"I said that these issues were important, particularly for Modern Orthodox Judaism — how does it deal with modern Biblical scholarship? The adult education committee thought this was a great idea. The rabbi preferred not to do this because there are members of the congregation who would not be comfortable with Kugel’s orientation and the purpose of having a scholar in residence is not to be divisive. We’ve had Tamar Ross here. Even in a liberal Modern Orthodox shul, not everybody is comfortable discussing these matters openly. We do have in the shul professors of Bible, Mark K. Brettler, the new editor of the Jewish Study Bible. He teaches at Brandeis. One of the founders of the shul was Bible scholar Nahum Sarna. Dr. Shaye Cohen is a Professor of Jewish History at Harvard. His specialization is the history of Second Temple Judaism. Some of the other Jewish Studies academics who are members of Shaarei Tefilla are Professor Jonathan Sarna, at Brandeis and Professor David Jacobson at Brown (Modern Hebrew Literature). The shul has leading Bible and Jewish Studies scholars within it, people who are clearly accepting of critical scholarly approaches to the Bible and Judaism. Their livelihood is critical Biblical scholarship. They’re active in the shul. They leyn (recite the Torah aloud for the congregation). They get aliyahs. They give divrei Torah. They’re careful not to say anything too heretical. I’ve never given a dvar Torah in my shul even though I’ve been asked to because I don’t want to discuss these things in shul to a captive audience on Shabbat. I want them to read the book on their own time.

"Even if a shul sponsored talk was given outside of the shul building, some members would be uncomfortable with a person who is shomer shabbat but has theological views that challenge traditional Orthodoxy."

"Orthodoxy has to finds way to preserve its values even if it has to change in a radical way its theology."

Luke: "How many Orthodox rabbis have engaged honestly with you on this?"

Solomon: "Not many. I had one unpleasant interaction with one when I gave a paper at a conference."

"I want to be criticized. I want to be challenged. I like that you ask me tough questions."

"I wrote to the Editor of ‘Tradition’ [magazine]. I said, this is a book that should be read by Modern Orthodox Jews. It’s offensive. It’s heretical. It goes against what you people believe. But that’s the reason it should be reviewed in ‘Tradition.’

"I haven’t gotten a call from YU or Yeshivat Chovevei Torah to come speak because we want to hear your views criticizing us. Luke, maybe you can get me to come out as a scholar in residence to a Modern Orthodox shul in LA that’s willing to discuss these things and wants to have a provocative speaker come out so that they can lambast him or whatever the case may be."

Luke: "I can’t imagine that there’s any Orthodox institution that will invite you to discuss this book."

Orthodox rabbi Gil Student gave a talk at Yeshiva University about the ethical dilemmas of blogging. Among them, introducing the pious to kefirah (heresy):

Something about the nature of the internet, maybe the sense of freedom that accompanies anonymity or maybe something else, but for some reason there are many frum-friendly blogs that attempt to undermine traditional Judaism by teaching, really more advocating, kefirah. What I mean by frum-friendly is people who used to be frum, maybe still even act frum, and know how to use frumspeak to make their content welcoming to frum Jews. Through a combination of argumentation, cynicism and mockery they make the argument against Orthodox Judaism. The question for me is how I am supposed to relate to them. Should I engage them in debate? I don’t think so. The Gemara in Sanhedrin specifically says not to debate Jewish heretics because it will only make them worse off, which my experience and observation confirms.

Should I attempt to refute them? I don’t necessarily have all the answers but I think I have a lot of them. A lot of this is a matter of presentation and should I spend my time in building the proper presentation so that I can dispute them? After all, my time is severely limited. And, for that matter, so is my scholarship. I don’t have any advanced degrees in Jewish Studies or Bible or, actually, in anything. I don’t have any advanced degrees.

And there is also a problem of introducing many of my readers to kefirah who otherwise would be unaware of it. Some of my readers have taken graduate courses in Bible while others are yeshiva bochurim who have never studied Bible beyond being ma’avir sedra, reviewing the weekly Torah portion. Do I want the responsibility on my shoulders for introducing these yeshiva bochurim to biblical criticism? A rabbi recently asked me about this and pointed out that he, a YU musmakh, was not aware of biblical criticism until later in life when he started listening to Dr. Leiman’s tapes. Him, a Yeshiva College graduate and a YU musmakh. If he hadn’t listened to those tapes, I would probably have been the one who introduced him to it. Is that what I should be doing?

Posted in Author Interviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on ‘The Tenacy of Unreasonable Beliefs’ II

Women Should Think A Second Time Before Saying No To Their Husbands

Dennis Prager writes:

It is an axiom of contemporary marital life that if a wife is not in the mood, she need not have sex with her husband. Here are some arguments why a woman who loves her husband might want to rethink this axiom.

First, women need to recognize how a man understands a wife’s refusal to have sex with him: A husband knows that his wife loves him first and foremost by her willingness to give her body to him. This is rarely the case for women. Few women know their husband loves them because he gives her his body (the idea sounds almost funny). This is, therefore, usually a revelation to a woman. Many women think men’s natures are similar to theirs, and this is so different from a woman’s nature, that few women know this about men unless told about it.

This is a major reason many husbands clam up. A man whose wife frequently denies him sex will first be hurt, then sad, then angry, then quiet. And most men will never tell their wives why they have become quiet and distant. They are afraid to tell their wives. They are often made to feel ashamed of their male sexual nature, and they are humiliated (indeed emasculated) by feeling that they are reduced to having to beg for sex.

When first told this about men, women generally react in one or more of five ways:

1. You have to be kidding. That certainly isn’t my way of knowing if he loves me. There have to be deeper ways than sex for me to show my husband that I love him.

2. If this is true, men really are animals.

3. Not my man. He knows I love him by the kind and loving way I treat him.

4. You have it backwards. If he truly loved me, he wouldn’t expect sex when I’m not in the mood.

5. I know this and that’s why I rarely say no to sex.

Let’s deal with each of these responses.

1. You have to be kidding. …

The most common female reaction to hearing about men’s sexual nature is incredulity, often followed by denial. These are entirely understandable reactions given how profoundly different — and how seemingly more primitive — men’s sexual nature is compared to women’s.

Incredulity is certainly the reaction most women have when first being told that a man knows he is loved when his wife gives him her body. The idea that the man she is married to, let alone a man whose intelligence she respects, will to any serious extent measure her love of him by such a carnal yardstick strikes many women as absurd and even objectionable.

But the question that should matter to a woman who loves her man is not whether this proposition speaks poorly or well of male nature. It is whether it is true. And it is true beyond anything she can imagine. A woman who often deprives her husband of her body is guaranteed to injure him and to injure the marriage — no matter what her female friends say, no matter what a sympathetic therapist says, and no matter what her man says.

(Very few men will confess to the amount of hurt and eventual anger they experience when repeatedly denied sex).

Posted in Dennis Prager, Sex | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Women Should Think A Second Time Before Saying No To Their Husbands

Why No Reporting On The Special Relationship Between Pinch Sulzberger and Caroline Kennedy?

Gawker nails it (MSM: Keep rockin’.):

Don’t even bother to leave a comment at the Times local news blog suggesting a sexy patrician affair between the Senator-to-be and the publisher of the Times.

It seems like a mostly legitimate question to ask, doesn’t it? Whether or not they’re having sexy sexy old rich scion sex, the special friendship between Sulzberger and Kennedy is well-documented. And when the publisher of your paper is BFF with a public figure, asking whether that friendship affects coverage of that public figure is certainly fair game.

But no, no comments allowed asking about the affair. When this guy tried, the City Room editors asked him to please not bring it up again. "we don’t report stuff like this, regardless of the people involved." Stuff like… what? The Times certainly does report on the sexual lives of public figures, all the damn time, from Giuliani to Spitzer to Paterson. But reporting on the Sulzbergers not so much.

Posted in Adultery, Journalism | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Why No Reporting On The Special Relationship Between Pinch Sulzberger and Caroline Kennedy?

Dr. Spielvogel

Doc, I’m like a thirsty man rowing on a lake of fresh water.

I have all these people who want to hang with me yet I sit home alone. I’ve got college starting up January 5 — I’m learning to teach Alexander Technique — so I’m trying to get everything I can accomplished now and then coast for three years on my Adsense earnings.

I can’t sleep. I go in these cycles. I’ll go six weeks without a good night’s sleep and then I’ll sleep solidly — six hours a night — for six weeks.

So I’m tired all the time and don’t want to socialize unless it is going to be primo socializing with hot chicks. Otherwise I can’t be bothered.

I’d rather be lonely than stuck with people who don’t thrill me.

I’m aging too quickly. Support stockings? Foot splints? Mouthguard? Levitra? Abnormal liver function. Low HDLs. I’m tormented by having a beautiful doctor. Oy, the pain. But if a gorgeous 30-year old doctor can wear support stockings, so can an aging blogger.

Q: Do you find it shameful when someone asks if you are lonely?

Not shameful. Just like someone has put their finger on a sensitive spot. I’ve been lighting my Hanukkah candles live on my cam. How pathetic is that? But with my cam, I feel like I can turn it on and get company when I want it, and then I can unplug it when I want and go back to my books. Real live people in your hovel are more trouble. It’s easier to just interact with people through my keyboard.

So there are these chicks at the Jewish Journal I write about a lot. They are like objects to me. They’re material for my blog. They’re not real to me. Then I run into them and I feel abashed. I don’t want to push myself on them so I stay away. But the other night, they were friendly to me and we had nice chats and then I went home and sent them Facebook friend requests and they turned me down and I felt ashamed. It made sense that they would turn me down because they wouldn’t want to have to censor their status updates out of fear I’d blog about them.

Oy, I feel shame. Just like in sixth grade. I didn’t know you could call girls. Then one Sabbath afternoon, I was hanging out with my friends Kevin Carambot and Cary Tamura and they called Denise Bernard, the most beautiful girl in the class, and asked her who she liked. They asked her about me. She said maybe. She said maybe about three guys.

So I learned then that you could call girls so I then called Denise every day for six weeks and asked her if she had made up her mind yet about who she liked.

I got on her nerves real quick and she complained to her friends that I wouldn’t stop calling her and I felt so ashamed.

I’m way too eager with chicks when I like ’em and it’s just so embarrassing.

So I feel this straight line between rejected Facebook friend requests and sixth grade. My life is one big shameful episode. And it’s all at the hands of hot chicks.

Doc, let me tell you about how I got my revenge on them via a piece of veal and my sister’s brassiere.

When I came to LA in 1994, I hit on every chick who moved and nailed about 20 that year. I was pushy. I was on nardil and I had no fear and no boundaries and no sense. I’ve always hit .100. You give me ten girls and I’ll get with at least one of them. That year I hit on ten times as many girls as normal.

I could call that novelist in New York but I’m kinda depressed right now and I know my voice would give me away and I just met her so I don’t want to give her grounds to disqualify me right off as a nut job. And I don’t have anything to boast about and be up and chipper and exciting so I don’t call.

Q: You don’t want to show that side of you to her?

I just met her. I don’t want to call and be a wet blanket. I barely know her. Who wants a depressed sociopathic blogger calling you? Much better to wait until I am on the upside of my bipolar cycle.

This shame all comes from my first five years, when my mom was dying of cancer and I was living two dozen different families. Some were weird and harsh. They’d throw me under a cold shower at night if I wet my bed. I felt pretty ashamed and appalled and cold.

I don’t hate my mom for dying and abandoning me. I don’t blame my dad for looking after her and his work. I was just stuck with some weird people who’d hit me for stupid reasons. I couldn’t leave the table unless I ate my vegetables, so I sat at the table for hours. I couldn’t eat anything if I didn’t eat my vegies, so I didn’t eat.

When I was four years old, I looked like a Holocaust survivor. I just had that rage and those sunken eyes.

I learned to get along with a wide variety of people. I learned to survive and to hate. Now I’ve got a blog and the ability to fight back if someone screws me over.

I remember throwing manure at these kids and screaming, "I hate you, I hate you." There’s a freeway between my emotions of hurt, shame and rage. I just speed along between the three. Sometimes it takes months. It usually takes three months after I’ve been tossed from a shul for my hurt to turn to rage.

I couldn’t get mad at my rabbi the past seven years. He’d discipline me and there was nothing I could do. But I could take out my rage on other rabbis. Not unfairly. I simply reported the news. But if the news was rabbinical wrongdoing, particularly by someone who’d hurt me, I loved reporting that. This is where I go gangster and flash signs and say, ‘I’ll —- you up.’

For seven years, I’ve lived in fear that that ping from my ‘puter meant an email from my rabbi kicking me out of shul, which of course made it easier to toss me as I just oozed fear around him. I don’t live in fear no more.

I used to feel helpless when rabbis ejected. Now I got the power. The power of truth. The power of accurate reporting.

Let me reach for this rock triangle and smash it into my hand, let the pain in my hand distract me from the pain in my soul. I only do this in painful high-quality conversations with people trained to listen. I can’t forget that scene in ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ where the faux-shrink spreads her hands and says, ‘This is a safe space.’

I don’t send cards or give gifts, unless I am in an intimate relationship. I remember Cathy Seipp complained to me on her birthday, ‘What does a girl need to do to get flowers around here?’ I told her and she said, ‘Well, if that’s what I’ve got to do…’ We never had that kind of relationship.

BernieMadoff:  Nobody cares about your interior life. It just isn’t that interesting
FATS:  Does you therapist read your blog?
BernieMadoff:  Nobody cares about the feelings and emotions of a middle aged man unless he straps on a flame thrower and gets busy
BernieMadoff:  The successful bloggers out there – politico, drudge, others, don’t spend all day describing their feelings

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on Dr. Spielvogel

Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel

Why must Jews spin dreidels to get in some goyisha book? Is there not enough in the Torah to entertain them?

Video Jew Jay Firestone reports:

Posted in Jewish Journal | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel

My Beautiful Breasts Body Sculpting Kit

I just got a text message from a gorgeous writer of American-Jewish Literature who possesses the greatest midot any man or woman could want. She wrote — and don’t blame me for this, the following is not sexual, it is literature: "I found something 4 ur blog. the my beautiful breasts body sculpting kit."

Oy, how can I turn this post, which she meant for evil, towards good?

"Well…u r a man. nothing 2 b ashamed of."

Oh, please, I want you to make me feel like a very naughty boy.

I can’t get excited unless I feel like I’m sinning.

I’ll post something wholesome from NPR — Lukeford.net where you get three helpings of Torah for every naughty post!

Con Man Turned Rabbi Conned In Ponzi Scheme

Morning Edition, December 26, 2008 · Reformed con man Mark Borovitz recently found out he’d been conned. Now a rabbi, Borovitz runs a synagogue and treatment center in Culver City, Calif. The endowment for his organization lost as much as $300,000 in the alleged Ponzi scheme run by Bernard Madoff. Rabbi Borovitz talks with Renee Montagne about how much that loss will hurt his group.

Related NPR Stories

 

Posted in Jewish Literature | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on My Beautiful Breasts Body Sculpting Kit

I Wish Fat People Would Stay Out Of My Newspaper

I just sat down to have a gentle pre-Shabbos read of the latest issue of the Jewish Journal and on page eight at the top left, there’s little porker named Paul Koretz squinting at me and wishing me a happy Hanukkah.

Hey, fatties, keep your ugly mugs out of my paper! I want to enjoy reading the Journal. I don’t want to look at fat people. It makes me ill. Instead please show me more pictures of Danielle Berrin and Orit Arfa wearing their Shabbos best. That would make me want to do mitzvos to bring Moshiach.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on I Wish Fat People Would Stay Out Of My Newspaper

Ed Asner On Israel

Jason Maoz, Editor of The Jewish Press, writes:

Asner, this year’s Schwarzschild’s "honoree," is best remembered for his portrayal of lovably gruff Lou Grant on the old "Mary Tyler Moore" show (CBS, 1970-77) and later on "Lou Grant" (CBS, 1977-’82).

In real life he’s a hard core leftist who sings the praises of Castro’s Cuba, supported communist guerillas in El Salvador, lends his name to groups that imply U.S. governmental involvement in the 9/11 attacks, and in 2002 signed an ad opposing the U.S. invasion of Al Qaeda-harboring Afghanistan and decrying "the war and repression that has been loosed on the world by the Bush administration .[whose] brutal repercussions have been felt from the Philippines to Palestine where Israeli tanks and bulldozers have left a terrible trail of death and destruction."

Now Asner has taken up the cause of Israelis who refuse to serve in the IDF, penning an article that appeared earlier this month on The Huffington Post and other left-leaning websites and blogs in which he approvingly cited the "courage" of Omer Goldman, a young Israeli woman who has already served two terms in an Israeli military jail for, in Asner’s words, "standing up to the government."

Asner excitedly quoted Goldman’s observation that "the most dangerous thing in Palestine is the Israeli soldiers, the very people who are supposed to be on my side" and then offered his own bit of wisdom: "I find it hard to believe than anyone can look Omer in the eye and tell her that she has to risk her life and her future for Israel whether she wants to or not. It’s just not right. Especially during this time of year, when many of us are getting ready to celebrate a holiday about freedom ."

No wonder Asner had no problem putting his name to an ad that spoke of "Israeli tanks and bulldozers [leaving] a terrible trail of death and destruction." What is a wonder, though, is that Jewish groups see fit to honor him, as Seattle’s Jewish Family Service did last year and as Women’s American ORT did in 2005, bestowing on him its Tikkun Olam Award because, said the organization’s then-national president, "we feel he represents our ideals and commitments."

Posted in Hollywood, Israel | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Ed Asner On Israel

Dirt Beneath Their Shoe

A lot of people, such as Steven Weil, Morey Levovitz, Daniel Gordis, Joseph Telushkin, expend a lot of energy complaining about me but they never complain to me.

They feel they have been badly hurt by my website. They feel I have been unfair and inaccurate in what I have written about them. But they never complain to me. They complain to everyone but me.

My rabbi would get so many complaints about my blog, it wore him out. If I had been in his shoes, I would’ve said to the whiners, "Don’t bother me until you’ve made a good faith effort with the object of your anger."

I always treat people politely when they politely raise a complaint with me about my coverage because it is in my self-interest to be nice and to hear all sides. I’m always glad to check my facts. It is effortless for me to make corrections on my website. It is not like I operate a newspaper. I can go back to a post and delete it or change a few sentences and it takes little effort. I’m always glad to raise the accuracy and fairness of my work. Most of the time, people don’t even want a retraction. They just want a sentence removed or a paragraph or two. That’s easy.

But the people who most resent my blog never confront me about it.

I wonder why.

It would be pragmatically in their self-interest to deal with me directly instead of complaining to those who can’t help them.

So why don’t they do that?

I think they think I am beneath them. I am dirt on their shoe. I have such low social status and they have such high social status, why should they lower themselves to talk to me? They’ll say I’m a pornographer and a wanna-be convert to Judaism and a creep and a psychopath and they will reinforce their anger by complaining about me.

If they sat down with me one-on-one, we would each walk away feeling better about the other (how could we feel worse towards other?). Everybody is under terrible burdens. Once we hear what another is suffering through, we can’t help but increase our empathy for them. I would see their side of things and I would be wiser in what I wrote on my blog. But the Robert Wexlers, Joseph Telushkins of the world are so invested in their anger — based on a feeling of massive moral and social superiority over me — they don’t want to risk losing it by confonting me and making their lives easier. They’d rather be angry and miserable but feel self-righteous than get down on my level and talk things through.

It’s very hard to look someone in the eye and hear their point of view and then go out and be needlessly mean to them. Cruelty depends on other people not being real to you.

P.S. I’m trying to figure out the following essay by Robert Wexler:

A big part of my adult life has involved trying to live up to what Dr. David Leo Lieber expected of me. Trying to emulate his wisdom, his learning, his kindness, knowing all the while that it would be impossible.

…In so many ways, I feel that I was given that double portion by David Lieber. I don’t say this as a matter of hubris but rather as a matter of my good fortune. For 30 years, I worked side by side with him. What a remarkable privilege that was. To be in his presence each day, to listen to him, to learn from him, to love him.

…I cannot imagine anyone who was more profoundly spiritual than David Lieber. His spirituality did not have any of the external manifestations that are more common today. Rather, it was apparent in his quiet acceptance of God’s plan for him and for the world.

…To know David Lieber was to know kindness. To know David Lieber was to know wisdom. To know David Lieber was to experience a quiet, steadfast faith in God and in the divine potential of all human beings.

And so we loved him. We loved him for who he was. And we loved him for seeing the good in us.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Dirt Beneath Their Shoe

Mood Instability

Living on your own, it is harder to see your moods.

But I am very moody.

I am a different person at different times of the day.

When I wake up, I am usually in a focused pragmatic problem-solving mode. I shower, say my prayers, eat my breakfast and get things done.

From mid-morning until lunch, I’m usually feeling lethargic. The initial burst with which I started the day has worn off.

After lunch, I usually feel sleepy. I’m lethargic until around 5pm when I eat dinner and usually get a boost of energy that carries me through until about 10 pm. During the evening, when it is dark, I usually feel a swell of emotions. I’m usually at my most romantic and creative and funny. If I am social and feeling good, I’ll be outgoing. The life of the party. I’ll hit on chicks. I’ll make soaring pronouncements. I’ll write soap operas on my website.

Then I crash. Around 1 – 2 a.m., I have painful insights. I realize I’ve been sloppy with my writing and my facts. I’ve gone with too many one-source stories when I should’ve waited to confirm things. I unnecessarily antagonized people through my blogging or speech. When earlier in the day I was feeling cocky, I said things that I then thought were funny but in retrospect I realize were needlessly hurtful.

Then I don’t sleep and I wake up groggy.

So those are my daily moods. Then there’s my bipolar swing. When I’m up, I feel invulnerable. I see the most miserable things as wildly funny. I feel like I can get away with anything because my soul is so exquisite.

Then I get down and feel hopeless. I feel like a bad person, irredeemably bad.

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Mood Instability