How Alexander Technique Can Help Negotiators

Ashley Adams, a union organizer and negotiator in the Boston area, talks with Robert Rickover about the Alexander Technique and it’s usefulness in the negotiation process.

Ashley is married to an Alexander teacher, Debbie Adams.

Ashley: “Alexander Technique is a method of unlearning bad habits of movement and posture and relearning a more useful way of doing what you do.

“An Alexander teacher shows you how to interrupt your bad habits and to insert a more thoughtful way of doing what you do.”

“By listening to the other side instead of habitually responding negatively and pounding your fist, you thoughtfully consider the problem and consider options.”

“By training people to think outside the box, Alexander Technique can help people to not just think habitually. People can inhibit their traditional no and yes and be more creative at the table.”

“As negotiators sit at the bargaining table, we tend to regress to the most basic kind of hunched-over tense posture you can imagine. Alexander Technique can replace that with a more comfortable way of sitting.”

Robert: “In Alexander Technique, ‘inhibition’ means to stop doing things that you don’t want.”

Ashley: “The verb you use when you accuse the other side of just doing what they always do is ‘posturing.’ Alexander Technique can help bargainers be more flexible in their approach.”

“If you can keep your head while the other side is losing theirs, you have an advantage. If you are keep your head mobile and fluid and released and the other side is tight and restricted, that helps you in life.”

“If you’re flexible, you’re less likely to lock horns and to be stiff-necked with others.”

Robert: “Our language reflects some deep truths about how our physical state relates to our mental state.”

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Glenn Beck – Philosemite

From Dennis Prager’s radio show today: Dennis talks to fellow talk show host, Glenn Beck. Dennis is unhappy that this good man has been libeled by the Left. The accusation that Beck is anti-semitic is absurd. Dennis heard Beck at a pro-Israel conference last weekend. He gave a stirring pro-Jewish, pro-Israel speech…

Tom Sowell and Investors Business Daily have joined the Wall Street Journal in advocating the Boehner Debt Plan. It’s not perfect, but it is the best available option.

Dennis to Glenn: “You have been libeled by the left as an anti-semite. You are among the most passionately pro-Jewish, pro-Israel Gentiles living today.”

Glenn: “George Soros spent about half a million dollars on a campaign to portray me as anti-Christian. When that didn’t work, he said that I was an anti-semite.”

Dennis: “The unbelievable claim made was that if you are anti-Soros, you are anti-Jewish.”

Luke: I’ve always been suspicious of Glenn Beck. His work seems dominated by emotion. Thinkers on the right side of the political spectrum such as Tom Sowell, Dennis Prager, George Will, and Charles Krauthammer, predominantly work in logic rather than emotion. Pure emoting substituting for thought is something I think of as occurring primarily on the left.

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New York Times Reader Kills Dozens in Norway

Ann Coulter writes: The New York Times wasted no time in jumping to conclusions about Anders Behring Breivik, the Norwegian who staged two deadly attacks in Oslo last weekend, claiming in the first two paragraphs of one story that he was a “gun-loving,” “right-wing,” “fundamentalist Christian,” opposed to “multiculturalism.”

It may as well have thrown in “Fox News-watching” and “global warming skeptic.”

This was a big departure from the Times’ conclusion-resisting coverage of the Fort Hood shooting suspect, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan. Despite reports that Hasan shouted “Allahu Akbar!” as he gunned down his fellow soldiers at a military medical facility in 2009, only one of seven Times articles on Hasan so much as mentioned that he was a Muslim.

Of course, that story ran one year after Hasan’s arrest, so by then, I suppose, the cat was out of the bag.

In fact, however, Americans who jumped to conclusions about Hasan were right and New York Times reporters who jumped to conclusions about Breivik were wrong.

True, in one lone entry on Breivik’s gaseous 1,500-page manifesto, “2083: A European Declaration of Independence,” he calls himself “Christian.” But unfortunately he also uses a great number of other words to describe himself, and these other words make clear that he does not mean “Christian” as most Americans understand the term. (Incidentally, he also cites The New York Times more than a half-dozen times.)

Had anyone at the Times actually read Breivik’s manifesto, they would have seen that he uses the word “Christian” as a handy moniker to mean “European, non-Islamic” — not a religious Christian or even a vague monotheist. In fact, at several points in his manifesto, Breivik stresses that he has a beef with Christians for their soft-heartedness. (I suppose that’s why the Times is never worried about a “Christian backlash.”)

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Editor Phil Jacobs Investigates Sexual Abuse Within Baltimore’s Orthodox Community

From the Baltimore City Paper:

Late last month, Phil Jacobs, executive editor of the Baltimore Jewish Times, was packing his bags and feeling anxious. He was on his way to the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival. Standing Silent, a documentary directed by Scott Rosenfelt—producer of Home Alone, Mystic Pizza, and Smoke Signals, among many others—chronicles Jacobs’ several-year quest to expose sexual abuse within Baltimore’s insular Orthodox Jewish community. The Atlanta film festival had been one of the first to accept it, and was the first Jacobs would attend.

“So this movie’s coming out,” Jacobs said. “I keep pushing it away and pushing it away and it’s almost time.” His articles on sexual abuse had named the names of perpetrators, a taboo in the eyes of some in the Orthodox Jewish community, to which Jacobs belongs. Some had accused him of lashon hora, the Hebrew term for negative speech that harms another, a serious sin. The documentary was bound to rekindle some of these feelings in his critics. But there was another, more personal reason Jacobs was feeling anxious. It was perhaps the same reason he’d pursued his sexual molestation series for so long and with such drive: As a young man, Jacobs was raped.

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What Does Concentration Look Like?

Most people think they need to tense to concentrate. You can look at them and see the furrows on their brow and the tightness around their eyes and the hunching of their shoulders and you think they’re trying really hard. Unfortunately, all this effort only make concentration more difficult.

To have a calm clear mind, you need to sit, stand and move in a poised, calm, graceful way. If you’re all locked up in your body and jerky in your movements, you’re less likely to be efficient in your thinking.

That’s why I love Alexander Technique. You get to let go off your needless patterns of compression and tensing and by ridding yourself of this interference, you become buoyant.

Hypnotherapist Igor Ledochowski puts it this way: “You see, most people think that when they need to focus or concentrate, that you tense your whole body. Just ask anyone, what does it look like when you concentrate? What will they do? They tense their forehead, they frown or maybe they even hunch up their body. That creates more tension, and tension is related to stress.”

To achieve peak performance, you need to operate without needless tension yet not relaxed and collapsed. When people relax, they usually let go of needed tension. Their head, which weighs about 15 pounds, collapses onto the torso. The back shortens and narrows. The legs retreat into the torso. People get smaller and more compressed.

That’s no good either. Some body tension is needed to stay upright, to stay tall and poised. Alexander Technique is not primarily about relaxing. It’s about letting go of needless tension and flowing with an upright direction as the back lengthens and widens.

Look at the following videos to see how I’ve changed through Alexander Technique.

Here’s a video from February 2008. Notice all the stress and compression in my face even though I’m goofing off.

August 15, 2008 (after about six Alexander Technique lessons):

December, 2009 (after hundreds of lessons):

And today with Rabbi Rabbs:

The rabbi is a big stimulus. He has strong opinions. Before Alexander Technique, I would’ve reacted to his strong personality by compressing. Now I’m serene.

Without Alexander Technique, we tend to live our lives in a straitjacket. Our every habit pulls the jacket tighter. Every time we sit down or stand up, every time we pick up a sock and bend over to brush our teeth, most of us tend to compress and compact ourselves a little more, so that as we age, we’re pulled tighter and tighter, our shoulders become more rounded, our necks compress, our backs narrow and shorten, our lungs have less room to expand, our internal organs are shoved together, and we become a wreck.

By contrast, Alexander Technique lessons enable us to return to the poise and good use we had as children before we went to school and started sitting in desks and scrunching over our books.

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My Voice Shocks Her

Sara* emails: Luke,
For the 1st time I listened to you on the video…and I was SHOCKED:
What a lovely voice. I did not expect to hear such a cultured gentle persona hidden between the words. You know what? You just play a dirty tough guy and for real you are a kitty cat. WOW! I can not believe it. What a nice surprise.

Seriously, What a pleasant voice and lovely way of speaking. I could listen to you for hours. Why don’t you get a job on radio? I would not say TV because of your wild bearded look… “Wild Bearded LUKE” Hey that’s a pun.

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Dennis Prager Does Not Accept The Divinity Of The Oral Law

Speaking October 28, 2010 at Temple Israel Ner Tamid in Cleveland, Dennis said: “Why didn’t I accept full Orthodoxy with the oral law? When I was in yeshiva, I asked my rabbis in sixth grade, if God gave a written and an oral Torah, why didn’t He write it all? Why was some written? It can’t be because of significance because there are parts of the written Torah that are incredibly over-detailed and there are things in the Oral law of tremendous significance. It seems capricious and God doesn’t seem capricious. Second, it doesn’t say anywhere in the written Torah that God gave an oral law. It’s an oral tradition that I should believe that an oral tradition was given at Sinai.

“Maybe God wanted there to be an oral tradition so that it could change and the written Torah was the constitution that doesn’t change.

“I believe the oral law developed the most humane way of killing an animal devised in history… This is all wonderful, but now that we have stunning where an animal doesn’t know what is bout to be done to it, why don’t we stun animals in kashrut and then kill them ritually? Because the answer is that the oral law says that the animal has to be fully conscious. In my opinion, in this case, the oral law undermines its own brilliance. If there was stunning 3,000 years ago, the Talmud would have said there could be stunning.”

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Is There Free Will?

I had this discussion with a friend recently.

“Right here and now,” I said, “in the moment, I feel like I have free will, but when I look back at my life, everything seems fated. Given who I was at each point of my life, I could not have chosen differently. The good thing about this approach is that there are no regrets. There’s only acceptance. I’ve learned from many things I’ve done and I won’t repeat them.”

On other topics, I said, “It is hard to write about your own community. I could not do it if I were normal. I am not normal. I don’t connect normally with people.

David Brooks in his new book, The Social Animal, says that if a baby does not connect with his mother, he grows up to have fewer friends than normal. He does not connect normally with people. That’s me. I have fewer friends than normal and I don’t connect normally with people. Hence I have less of a twinge, and sometimes no twinge at all, about writing about my own community.”

“I’ve often flown too close to the flame and gotten burned. I’ve gotten close to rabbis, close to my shul, and then people have felt appalled when they read my blog. Now I hold myself back more. I don’t fly so close to the flame. I want to keep my freedom to write as I want, and to achieve that, I sacrifice some community, some closeness, some normal human connection.”

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Why Do Men Cheat?

Dennis Prager and Rabbi Shmuley discuss: Should wives be grateful when their husbands are faithful?

Dennis replied to a question from Lisa Oz: “It gives you an idea of how close my wife and I are that I can say [in front of her], yes, I see women that I would like to bang regularly but I wouldn’t. And she knows that. One of the reasons that I love her so much is that I can be that honest. I don’t know a man who is honest who would have a different answer. I know Shmuley [Boteach] does. He has talked himself into this. Fine. If he has to fool himself into — I have no desire for any other woman on earth — fine. It may be true. I’m not speaking for 100% of males. I’m speaking for 99% of males.”

“The reason I love Judaism is that it is real about men. Something has happened to negate the realizations of Judaism. Don’t sit in a room alone with a woman. Why not? Don’t you have divine energy? Would a great rabbi even think of that? Of course he thinks of it because he’s still a male.

“I’ll never forget the woman doctor who called my show once… She said, ‘Dennis, sometimes men make sick. Just the other week, I was with a male patient. He was in his nineties and he was dying. And as he was dying, he was looking down my shirt.’

“I said to her, ‘Doctor, that’s how I want to die.'”

“I want people to eat right. It is a battle for me every day not to have more dessert. My true nature is carrot cake in the morning, cheesecake at lunch and an ice cream sundae in the evening.”

“Your mind should be as translucently open as possible [to your spouse]. When I asked my wife why she loves me, she said that I have no black boxes. That she really feels she knows me.”

Shmuley: “If your wife just asked you, what did you do in the bathroom? Would you give her the details?”

Dennis: “If my wife asked me that, I would think that she has a tumor in the brain.”

Shmuley: “I think you should work on it. You should be more open.”

Dennis: “What’s on your mind and what you excrete are different.”

Turning to Shmuley later in the program, Dennis says: “If you feel that masturbation and lust is the same as actual adultery, you are in that regard Christian and not Jewish. That is what Jesus said.”

Shmuley: “I counsel so many couples today where porn is destroying the marriage.”

Dennis: “I argue that if a man looks at porn for an hour a day, which I would hardly counsel, I have 50 other questions other than that to know about their marriage. Do they love each other? Do you have an active and good sex life? If they do and the wife is not deprived of his love and affection, looking at porn does not kill the marriage. Your advice kills the marriage because you have so toxified porn that you have told women that if he looks at it, he doesn’t love you.”

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Dennis Prager Interviewed

In an April 2010 appearance at Stephen S. Wise temple, Dennis said to interviewer and rabbi David Woznica: “When God gave out urges, the urge to power was not given to me. I have zero desire to have any power over anybody. You know this is a fact because even on the tiny tiny scale of my running Brandeis-Bardin, all I wanted was terrific other people and to share power. I just wanted to make sure that the values were what I thought the values should be.”

“The only reason I thought of running for senate was would it give me a bigger forum to offer the values I care about. I ultimately concluded that to get a bigger forum than a national radio show, you have to be president of the United States. I thought of that too. I have thought about running in the primaries starting in Iowa. I would not expect to win.”

“I would like to be in those debates… I can’t run because I don’t have the money to run… Because of campaign finance reform, only rich people can run for office… There are many rich people who would support. One of the heads of Best Buy said he listened to my show every day and any way I can help you. But he can’t help me. He can only give me $4,000.”

Dennis said about Judaism: “I wanted the answers. I wasn’t given them. What is the Jewish role in the world? In 14 years in yeshiva, I never learned the Jewish role in the world. I learned how to build a sukkah. I learned you can eat an egg born on yontif (Jewish holiday).”

“Since going into the diaspora, Jews have been pre-occupied with surviving, not influencing. Jewish life exists to exist. We feel like an endangered species… I don’t care if we survive. If we don’t influence the world, Jewish survival is of no interest to me. We have a task [to bring the world to God and His moral demands]. If we don’t do the task, we have no reason to live. We should assimilate. That’s why Jews do assimilate. Nobody gave them a task. I said that to audiences when I was 23 years old. I have not changed an iota. Where there is a why, there is a how.”

“I don’t care about Jewish culture. That’s why the board at Brandeis[-Bardin Institute] got angry at me. They were very into Jewish culture. I was very into Judaism. It was a conflict from the time Shlomo Bardin appointed me and then died that week until I left. I don’t care about Jewish dance. That’s not a reason to be Jewish any more than Albanian dance is a reason to be Albanian. The reason to be Jewish is to take Torah to the world.”

“Why stay Jewish if you’re secular? For what? Jewish culture? European culture dwarfs Jewish culture. Christian music is fifty times more beautiful than most Jewish music. We don’t have instruments [on Shabbat and holidays]. What kind of music could we have made? The rabbis [of the Talmud] did us an injury with that bad. I can have Handel’s Messiah or Adon Olam? Gee, that’s a toughie.”

“A week after my bar mitzvah, I stopped putting on tefillin. To do that in my home was so against how I was raised that I didn’t want my parents to know lest they be hurt. I didn’t do any of it out of rebellion since I hid all of my sins from my parents.”

“I would take the back of a comb and make little lines on my arm [before going down to breakfast] so that my mother thought I had put tefillin on that morning.”

“I don’t believe that rabbinic law is binding. Rabbis today can change rabbinic low, not Torah law.”

“Also, I found services way too long. I love musical instruments. Why the rabbis would ban musical instruments when God wanted us to use musical instruments in the temple [on the Sabbath and holidays], I can not understand.”

“One night [on his radio show Religion on the Line], the topic I chose for the evening was lust. What does your religion say about lust? The minister quoted Jesus that a man who lusts after another woman it is as if he has committed adultery in his heart. How wrong it is to lust. How it is a sin. The Catholic priest said essentially the same thing. They both spoke beautifully.”

“That week, was not only an Orthodox rabbi, but a bearded right-wing Orthodox rabbi. He had a yiddish accent. He said, “Dennis, lust, shmust.’

“It was my proudest moment as a Jew in my life. I still have a slight scar from biting my lip.”

“I’ve been troubled by theodicy since I was a child,” said Dennis in a 2010 public interview at Stephen S. Wise temple. “I finally gave up. Joseph Telushkin has a long-standing joke that Dennis will buy any book that has the terms “God” and “suffering” in it. I agree with Job. My wife doesn’t find Job as satisfying as I do. God says to Job, I’m God. You’re not. I understand it. You don’t. God is to me what I am to my basset hound. I’m fine with that. God told me how to live.”

In the same interview, Dennis mentioned that a group of atheists who brought him in to speak paid him promptly, which is better than half of the groups that hire him. “I’m still waiting for a certain shul,” said Dennis. “Three years.”

“It was a black woman Republican who came over to me at a speech [circa 1993] and said, ‘It is time for you to register as a Republican. Put your registration where your mouth is.’ She was right. She gave me the form.”

“Religion on the Line. My beginning in radio. Exactly ten years from August 1982 to August 1992. I was 34 years old and I was brought in to moderate between a priest, minister and rabbi every week. After five years, virtually every week I brought in a fourth religion. I brought in Muslims regularly. I got very close to the Muslim community. It was when they didn’t say a word about the slaughter of Israeli children in pizzerias [2000-2002] that we had a falling out. It was very painful to me. I went to the home of the leading Muslim in LA [Mahmoud Attoot (sp?), cardiac surgeon] and he came to my home. We got quite close and then nothing. I know they made the perfunctory statements against terror. That was after 9/11.

“I opened my show to them. They were very grateful. They had me speak in mosques.”

Rabbi David Woznica asked Dennis: “What is the greatest consistent source of joy in your life?”

Dennis thought for a second and a little sheepishly, said, “OK. My wife.”

Dennis grips and ungrips his chair for a few seconds of silence and then adds: “By the way, since I like to be open, it was a long, I’ve had my own issues in that arena as is known and that is no reflection on anybody else. Just to be able to say that is a wonderful thing to say.”

Sue is 15 years younger than Dennis.

On his show Oct. 21, 2010, Dennis talked about a conversation he had with a man on a plane: “I told him that my wife doesn’t complain and never yells at me. He said, ‘Were her vocal chords removed?'”

On his show Nov. 10, 2010, Dennis said: “My wife will have me check out some women.”

On his show Dec. 28, 2010, Dennis said: “I get enough disagreement outside of my house. Inside my house, I really like harmony. The more you agree on [as a couple], the better. When you step outside the house, you can take on the world. Inside the house, you don’t want to take on your spouse.”

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