My Sleeping Problems Solved!

Like my dad, I’ve had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep most of my adult life.

The best solution was to physically exhaust myself with exercise during the day.

Since I came down with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in February 1988, I’ve not been able to exercise to exhaustion consistently without getting sick.

So instead I’ve tossed and turned on my bed and cursed my fate.

In February, I got a CPAP machine which has helped with the quality of my sleep, but not the length of it. So now if I get four hours of sleep in a night, I get the benefits. Without the CPAP, I’d wake up with a headache from the lack of oxygen.

Thursday I felt particularly frustrated by another bad night of sleep. It’s hard for me to get to sleep (even taking up to 10m of melatonin) and hard to stay asleep until about 3 a.m. when I normally sleep solidly until about 7 a.m.

The main obstacle to my sleep is my racing mind. I keep thinking. Can’t turn off.

So Thursday afternoon, I went to Dragon Herbs on Robertson Blvd and explained my problem to the trained herbologist Susan. She sold me some Bupleurum & Dragon Bone and recommended I take eight before bed (and two capsules three times a day).

As a result, I’ve had a good night’s sleep the last two nights.

I love Dragon Herbs! It’s my new favorite store.

I should’ve known that the solution to my problems — along with the EU’s — lay with the Chinese!

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Is Running An Alexander Technique Training Course The Path To Riches?

F.M. Alexander began instructing teachers in his methods with great reluctance. He did not do it to further his technique as much as to make money.

During the Great Depression, his private students dried up. So he realized he’d have to turn elsewhere for money and so he started training teachers in September, 1930.

A big reason, perhaps the major reason, that I decided to train to become an Alexander teacher was that I so loved Alexander work, I wanted a way to get more of it.

On a typical training course, the student will get two ten-minute training turns each school day with a teacher. Tuition per day usually runs about $42.

So the turns work out to be $75 an hour, about the medium fee of Alexander teachers (for lessons that range from 35-60 minutes).

The teachers on training courses tend to be experienced and to charge about $100 per lesson for private students.

So the training course is a bargain. And the big savings come in that you get to work gratis with students senior to you and with visiting teachers.

I don’t know any Alexander training courses that are money-makers. They’re all basically non-profit in essence though not in legal status, only ACAT in New York is technically non-profit. The teachers who work on them could always make more money teaching private students. They train teachers out of their love of the Technique and they tend to charge their fellow teachers a lower fee for private lessons.

I could not imagine running a training course. Way too much hassle. Far too collaborative for my taste. I love doing my own thing. I love freedom. I love running to daylight.

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What’s Underneath The Tension?

Often I will work with somebody in Alexander Technique and they will be incredibly tensed up. They are armored. They are protected by their tension but also imprisoned by it.

Even though I have no formal training in psychology, I wonder about the story behind the tension. Why did it develop? What is it shielding? What would happen if it were to go away?

As people let go of their armoring of unnecessary tension through Alexander Technique lessons, they are often flooded by feelings. Many of these are negative feelings such as loss, shame, or fear.

If I start asking a student about these primal matters, things can get intense. I’m not a therapist. I can only gently inquire if the student wants to share the back story behind the tension. Sometimes the response will come in a flood.

As an Alexander teacher, I can only create a safe supportive environment for the student to feel free to let go of holding patterns that have helped them deal with past trauma but are now stopping them from freedom.

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Four Negative Results Of Feminism

Dennis Prager writes: The first was the feminist message to young women to have sex just like men do. There’s no reason for young women to lead a different sexual life than men, they were told. Just as men can have sex with any woman solely for the sake of physical pleasure, women ought to be able to enjoy sex with any man just for the fun of it. The notion that the nature of a woman is to hope for at least the possibility of a long-term commitment from a man she sleeps with has been dismissed as sexist nonsense.

As a result, vast numbers of young American women had and continue to have what are called hook-ups, and for some of them it’s quite possible that no psychological or emotional price has been paid. But the majority of women who are promiscuous do pay prices. One is depression. New York Times columnist Roos Douthat recently summarized an academic study on the subject: “A young woman’s likelihood of depression rose steadily as her number of partners climbed and the present stability of her sex life diminished.”

Long before this study, I had learned from women callers to my radio show (an hour each week — “The Male-Female Hour” — is devoted to very honest discussion of sexual and other man-woman issues) that not only did female promiscuity coincide with depression, it also often had lasting effects on women’s ability to enjoy sex. Many married women told me that in order to have a normal sexual relationship with their husbands, they had to work through the negative aftereffects of early promiscuity — not trusting men, feeling used, seeing sex as unrelated to love and disdaining their husband’s sexual overtures. And many said they still couldn’t have a normal sex life with their husbands.

The second awful legacy of feminism has been the belief among women that they can and should postpone marriage until they develop their careers — and that only then should they seriously consider looking for a husband. Thus, the decade or more during which women have the best chance to attract men is spent being preoccupied with developing a career. Again, I cite women callers to my radio show over the past 20 years who have sadly looked back at what they now, at age 40, regard as 20 wasted years. Sure, these frequently bright and talented women have a fine career. But most women are not programed to prefer a great career to a great man and a family. They feel they were sold a bill of goods at college and by the media.

And they were. It turns out that most women without a man do worse in life than fish without bicycles.

The third sad feminist legacy: So many women — and men — have bought into the notion that women should work outside the home that for the first time in American history, and perhaps world history, vast numbers of children are not primarily raised by their mothers or even by an extended family member. Instead they are raised for a significant part of their childhood by nannies and by workers at day care centers. Whatever feminists may say about their only advocating choices, everyone knows the truth: Feminism regards work outside the home as more elevating, honorable, and personally productive than full-time mothering and homemaking.

And the fourth awful legacy of feminism has been the de-masculinization of men.

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Did The Chofetz Chaim Go Too Far?

A secular Jew calls up and says he reads the Chofetz Chaim every night and that the central point of Judaism is that you don’t be a shmuck.

Dennis Prager: “I agree. The Chofetz Chaim is a great saintly rabbi. While the stress on not gossiping is important, I believe he goes overboard. It means you can’t even talk to your wife about people you had dinner with. It suppresses real conversation with intimates to a terrible extent. He goes too far. He’s too pious for me.”

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What Does It Mean To Walk Humbly With God?

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “Walk humbly with your God is another challenge to religious people. Don’t wear God on your sleeve. Walk humbly with your God. God should be omnipresent as a guide to good behavior in your life but you don’t throw it in people’s face — look at me, I’m more pious than you. Many people who are religious do this. I’m more religious than you.

“It’s a big problem in religious life.”

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Is Breast-Grabbing Sexual Assault?

Dennis Prager on his radio show today: “When my wife was a waitress at a well-known chain, the manager on a number of occasions just grabbed her breasts. She told him to let go and that was it. My wife could’ve ruined his life. I wonder if he could not go to jail for sexual assault. I don’t condone what he did and I never did such a thing in my life… A playful grabbing of the waitress’s breast by the manager is not gulag nor is it sexual assault.”

“I think Herman Cain was caught off-guard because it was a trivial aspect of his life. There’s a good chance I’d remember few details of something so miniscule. The man leads a busier life than the reporters who make inquiries of him. If there was a miniscule settlement with a woman ten years ago, I’m not sure how much I’d remember. Then he thinks about it more and more. It’s not like there’s more info about bad things coming out. I think this will pass over and be to his benefit.”

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What’s New on Cape Cod? Seals from Maine, Summer Workers from Europe

Stephen Steinlight writes: Spending a part of every summer vacation in South Wellfleet at the far end of Cape Cod was a rite of childhood, one I revived when my daughters were little and then again, many years later, about a decade ago. The Cape is blessedly much the same, though there’s more than a touch of the Malling of America on Route 6, the main drag, and Provincetown is more evenly divided nowadays between gays and straight people. But with regard to the essentials time has pretty much stood still, a result of much of the land being included in the Cape Cod National Seashore, a national park where the rules are strictly enforced that preserve the pristine beauty of the ocean beaches and the salt marshes and the land around them. The most exciting recent development has been the arrival from Maine of large colonies of seals that gather at low tide at the Head of the Meadow Beach and the beach off Chatham. Swimming in the icy water at Head of the Meadow, I often find myself exchanging glances with passing seals sporting regulation Lord Kitchener whiskers.

One change is very stark, however, and it’s disconcerting. Perhaps because I work on immigration I may spot it a bit sooner than other vacationers, but no one with a history of summers on the Cape can ignore it for long. One of the time-honored traditions of the Cape, a rite of summer itself and a pleasure for all concerned for as long as I can remember, were the hordes of local kids and college students, most from nearby Boston, that came to work at the lobster shacks, the more upscale eateries, the souvenir stores, and gift shops in Chatham and Provincetown. They worked hard, enjoyed the Cape in their limited free time, and had an excellent rapport with customers who, especially if they had kids their age, had an avuncular regard for them.

The local kids and the college students are almost entirely history now. Their absence is palpable; they are missed; and they haunt the Cape like ghosts. In their place – having usurped their place – is a legion of courteous if comparatively stiff young foreigners from Dublin to Dubrovnik. This past August I encountered a sprinkling of Brits, but most came from East/Central Europe, the Adriatic, and the Balkans.

Some 100,000 come here annually on what are termed J-1 visas, under the Summer Work Travel Program, administered not by the immigration authorities but by the U.S Information Agency, part of the State Department. The stated rationale is to bring foreign young people to America to work and interact with ordinary Americans, foster a positive impression of the United States, and send them home as ambassadors of good will. At the conclusion of their officially authorized period of employment they may remain for a “grace period” of 30 days, presumably to provide the opportunity to travel in America. To monitor their whereabouts and ascertain they’re in conformity with the program’s guidelines, they must report such information as a change of address or of legal name within ten days. Data regarding the J-1’s is maintained in the Student and Exchange Visitor Information System (SEVIS), a database utilized by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). Failure on the part of the J-1’s to report these changes within the time allowed may result in the revocation of the visa and deportation. J-1 visa program alums must remain in their countries of origins for two years before they are eligible to apply for a visa to return to the United States.

The J-1 program has been denominated an “exchange program,” but it’s no such thing. Participants head in one direction only: to the U.S. No young Americans are given the commensurate opportunity to work and travel abroad. This phony descriptor inevitably triggers additional skepticism, and, indeed, this isn’t the only aspect of the program that feels fraudulent, where there is a hiatus between lofty rhetoric and grimier reality.

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Letting Go Of Needless Body Tension Transforms Your Writing

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Almost All Alexander Teachers Gasp For Air When They Try To Project Their Voice

F.M. Alexander‘s voice problems began when he was an actor who tried to project his voice to fill a hall. In so doing, he gasped for air, tipped his head back, and compressed his torso. This put pressure on his larynx and he quickly lost his voice.

F.M. developed his technique to overcome this problem, yet almost all Alexander teachers (including the great ones such as Marj Barstow, Patrick MacDonald and Walter Carrington) gasp for air when they speak publicly. The big exception to this is John Nichols.

If your neck is free, you’ll feel no need to gasp for air. It’s only when the neck is tight that people start gasping.

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