February 8, 2012 Separate Vacations Luke Ford No sacred cows.

Separate Vacations

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

I first heard about separate vacations about 20 years ago and I was shocked. My friend said separate vacations enhances a marriage.

It sounded to me like a bitter statement from a bitter man about a marriage in trouble.

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “If anything enhances a marriage, I am for it.”

“Growing up, I did not know of a couple that took separate vacations.”

“Most [married] people don’t get much time together. They’re busy paying bills, etc. If there is a finite amount of time called vacation time, wouldn’t you want to spend it with your spouse?”

“Isn’t associating joy and fun with being away from your spouse a problem? ‘Yeah, the best week of the year was the week I didn’t spend with my wife.'”

“Marriage is not bettered by doing your own thing.”

“Because it is so hard to find vacation time in the average home, particularly in that 10-25 year time of raising children, that whatever you can do to excite the marriage is better.”

“To take the precious time of vacation and to focus on someone else, it’s not wise.”

Dan calls. “My wife insisted I take three vacations overseas without her. I took one with her sister who’s a flight attendant.”

“I hated the idea of going on vacation alone and all three vacations were curtailed as quickly as I could. Not being able to share the experience with my wife was a damper. Not being to share it with her was not 50% of the enjoyment of being on vacation with her.”

“The idea of going on a cruise without my wife. It would be no fun.”

“It is so easy for a marriage to lapse into non-exciting routine. If you have that one week a year for fun and excitement and adrenalin and passion and new places, it is better to take it with your spouse. It’s a booster shot for one’s relationship.”

“I would make an exception for when a parent takes time with a child.”

I live in an Orthodox Jewish community. I don’t know people who take vacations. The couples I know will take the kids to a relative’s place for a Jewish holiday or a bar mitzvah or the like, but almost nobody I know goes to Hawaii for a week. Only single and generally secular people do that. My religious friends don’t have as much spare money as my single friends and everything they do is within their religion. Judaism provides so many opportunities to be part of a community, whether in celebration or in mourning or just plain solidarity, that there’s not much space left to go on a vacation. If there is a vacation, it’s more like a Jewish retreat, such as a Chabad summer camp (where the wife and kids will go and the husband will come up when he can).

Posted in Dennis Prager, Marriage | Tagged bitter man, booster shot, Dennis Prager, marriage in trouble, separate vacations, vacation time | Comments Off

Can There Be A Compromise On Gay Marriage?

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

A caller to Dennis Prager’s radio show today: “I’m a conservative. I talk to a lot of gays about gay marriage. I tell them, I’m fine with them having the same rights as straight marriage, all I ask is for you to call it something else. This should be a fair trade-off. That’s not good enough for them.

“I’ve learned from these conversations that their objectives have little to do with having the same rights as straight marriage. It’s more a blow to destroy the beliefs of the religious and conservatives and those they hold in contempt.”

Dennis Prager: “Marriage is a higher plane [than civil union].”

Posted in Dennis Prager, Homosexuality | Comments Off

How To Sit Correctly

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

There are no good ways to sit. No matter how beautiful you sit, you are going to put at least one-third more pressure on your spine than when you are standing up or lying down. No matter your poise, sitting for more than ten minutes is going to do you harm. It will deform your kinesthetic sense.

There is no comfortable way to sit for longer than a few minutes. There is no good chair. See Galen Cranz’s book for more info.

The best person for figuring out your sitting situation and your overall office ergonomics is USC instructor Babette Markus.

But there are worse ways and better ways to sit as the following explains:

Alexander technique instructor Matt Pressman says most people sit all wrong, collapsing the spine into a C-curve, rotating onto their tailbone and counterbalancing by pushing their head forward. This posture effectively doubles the weight of the head, putting nearly 20 extra pounds of pressure on the spine. He offers these tips on how to sit correctly using the Alexander technique:

Step 1. Sit on a hard chair and slide your hands, palms up, between the seat of your chair and your bottom. Your palms will feel two, sharp bony structures, your so-called “sitz bones.”

Step 2. Back your bottom all the way toward the back of the chair, balance lightly on your sitz bones, and lean back, easing the back of your torso into the back of your chair. Let the back of the chair absorb the weight of your torso.

Posted in Alexander Technique | Tagged Alexander Technique, bony structures, c curve, galen cranz, kinesthetic sense, office ergonomics | Comments Off

Alternative Therapies For Back Pain

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

Dr Loren Fishman is the Medical Director of Manhattan Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation in New York City and the Author, ‘Cure Back Pain with Yoga’.

She writes in the Huffington Post:

The Alexander technique, developed more than 100 years ago by Frederick Alexander, helps students become aware of and stop habits and muscle use that may be contributing to pain. Mild, hands-on work and instruction for postural improvement teaches students techniques for sitting, walking, standing and many other activities of daily living. Students who praise Alexander technique sometimes tell me they feel it has “lengthened” them or “created more space” in their spines. Some believe that the Alexander technique works through release of tension, decompression of the spine, more balanced muscle activity and improved flexibility.

In a study published in the British Medical Journal, researchers discovered that patients who had 24 Alexander technique lessons during a year experienced just three days of discomfort due to back pain, compared to 21 painful days for those receiving conventional medical care. A short course of six Alexander technique lessons (plus exercise) had a better result than either massage or conventional medical care.

PAIGE MCKINNEY COMMENTS: The article [above] offers a good description of the Technique, and a link to an excellent2009 NY Times interview with Paul Little, lead author of the BMJ back pain study. Because the author of the Huffington Post article suggests a mix-and-match approach to “alternative therapies,” I feel compelled to report that from my own experience with back pain, mixing and matching never helped. In fact, it was only when I decreased the number of approaches to dealing with pain that I found relief. Sometimes less is more.

Dr. Fishman writes:

Spondylolisthesis: In Greek: ‘listhesis’ means slipping. In your back, one vertebra slides out of alignment. It usually slips forward, but sometimes back or to one side or the other. It’s a radiological diagnosis, and state-of-the-art EMG techniques can determine if that’s your problem. PT to strengthen abdominal muscles (front back and sides) and possibly an abdominal binder are good treatments, but some yoga also helps, as does Alexander Technique, which can work wonders with posture.

Spinal Stenosis: This is where the canal inside the spine gets too narrow, compressing nerves. You may need an MRI to be sure of the diagnosis. Posture is the best conservative solution — Alexander Technique is probably the single best treatment, though PT is helpful too. Stenosis may worsen inexorably over time, and then it’s one condition where surgery may be the best option.

Posted in Alexander Technique | Tagged alexander technique lessons, british medical journal, conventional medical care, frederick alexander, loren fishman, physical medicine and rehabilitation | Comments Off

The Default Position For Beautiful Women Is To Get All Of Their Worth From Their Looks

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

I’m reading this article about singer Lana Del Rey.

Jewish Journal blogger Tamara Shayne Kagel writes: “Lana Del Ray’s stereotypical, codependent, frivolous girlishness is a regression for feminism according to a new article in the Atlantic. Definitely worth a read. Spencer Kornhaber’s contention is that for Lana “in every instance, her stated belief is that without being beautiful, she’s nothing. And what’s really uncomfortable is that she can’t seem to conceive of the world in any other way.” As a lover of all things romantic, I am too sucked in by her idealistic devotion to her man. But Kornhaber rightfully points to the fact that Lana may have crossed over from romance to unhealthy obsession. “We all know people in unbalanced relationships, where one party’s more enamored than the other, but Del Rey sells this problem as not a problem at all—and as inevitably tied to gender.” Is she redefining being pathetic as the new girly?”

I’m thinking about all the beautiful women I’ve known well.

With exceptions, they got all of their self-worth from their beauty.

I think that’s how life works. If you’re a beautiful young woman, the world is at your feet. The power of your beauty must be intoxicating. And it diminishes your incentive to develop yourself in other ways.

I remember asking a beautiful girlfriend a few years ago, “What percentage of your self-worth comes from your looks?”

She said, “One hundred percent.”

This was an unhappy woman on about six different mood stabilizers and anti-depressants. She’d never married, never had kids, and never accomplished much. She wasn’t thriving in her career. She didn’t have any graduate degrees. She was smart and funny and talented, but without much accomplishment for her four decades on earth.

Posted in Beauty | Tagged anti depressants, default position, mood stabilizers, tamara shayne, unhappy woman, unhealthy obsession | Comments Off

Why Did Dodgers Have Lowest Attendance In Memory In 2011?

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “Apparently they caught the monster who beat Bryan Stow, the Giants fan beaten [into a coma] in Los Angeles.”

“The Dodgers had the lowest attendance in memory this past year. Part of it was the problems of the team on the field and the problems of the team in its ownership. I didn’t go to a Dodger game. It might’ve been the first time in 35 years.

“The reason was not the ownership and not that they played poorly. It was the beating. I don’t think people consciously thought about it, but the beating was on opening day. A man beaten essentially to death, his body lives on. I lost my interest in the Dodgers because of the beating. It’s an emotional reaction.”

“Dodger Stadium was polluted by this man’s blood.”

Posted in Baseball, Dennis Prager | Tagged Dennis Prager, dodger game, emotional reaction, giants fan, radio show | Comments Off

Another Doctor Advocates Widespread Training In Alexander Technique

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

Out of all the groups I’ve offered a free introductory lesson to the Alexander Technique, I’ve found that doctors are the most open. Psychiatrists, family doctors, sports medicine, ENTs, all were far more open than MFTs.

From the Irish Times:

A RETIRED west of Ireland consultant has advocated far greater awareness of the Alexander Technique in medical training and practice.

Ear, nose and throat (ENT) surgeon Kieran Tobin said he found the relief gained from the technique to be “quite incredible”, after he was treated for chronic neck problems. The technique purports to improve body posture and movement and relieve chronic stiffness, tension and stress.

Mr Tobin said he believes medical students should have far greater awareness of the technique’s many benefits.

A past president of the Irish Otolaryngological, Head and Neck Society and a past president of the Royal Society of Medicine’s ENT section, Mr Tobin was speaking at the publication in Galway last Friday of a new book on the subject by practitioner Richard Brennan.

Mr Tobin took early retirement from medicine. He hoped the change of direction would give him the opportunity to recover from serious neck problems which he had developed during his working years.

“This was not the case, and limitation of cervical [and thoracic] movement became quite an intrusion on my life,” he writes in the introduction to Brennan’s new book, Change Your Posture Change Your Life .

“Physiotherapy and medication gave only short-term improvement,” he says. “On being introduced to the Alexander Technique, I was somewhat sceptical that anything was going to work, but can only describe the relief gained, and maintained, as quite incredible.

“[My] general posture has improved, and neck mobility has returned to that last experienced more than 20 years ago. What more could one ask for?” he notes.

Posted in Alexander Technique | Tagged Alexander Technique, body posture, ear nose and throat, free introductory lesson, neck mobility, richard brennan | Comments Off

The United States Is Becoming Like Greece

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “The movement of the United States towards being Greece. Having the American media (outside of Fox News, the WSJ, talk radio) behind you, the carpet bombing of left-wing rhetoric on society is a major vehicle for any Democrat. Our national debt would be the number one issue for the media if it were not left-wing.”

“Mitt Romney has decided that the battle should be tactical. Are you better off or worse off than four years ago? Run on that and you’ll go to the White House. Tell people you can fix the job crisis because you’re a fixer upper.

“Fixer uppers are not inspiring. We all need plumbers but they don’t inspire.

“This notion of I know how to fix it because I’m a businessman does not work. That’s why businessmen tend not to run for politics. They think like businessmen, not leaders. The purpose of a businessman is to create profit, a noble purpose. That’s not the same as, ‘Here is why the Left is ruining this country as it is ruining Europe.'”

“Barack Obama is a fine man who’s ruining this country. That’s the story of the Left — when nice people, well-intentioned people, ruin society.”

Posted in Dennis Prager, Politics | Comments Off

When Rabbis Become Molesters

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Luke Ford

Joe says: “I had forgotten entirely about [Rabbi] George Finkelstein, because I didn’t go to MTA, but I remember hearing these “George stories” from all my friends. I remember the guy from my YU times, he was always a bit creepy. He probably merits a page in your bios.”

FailedMessiah posts: “There are those who knew that the school’s associate principal responsible for Judaic Studies – an ordained rabbi and congregational leader – was summoning students into his office and inviting them to his Washington Heights apartment under the guise of Torah study, only to wrestle them to the ground against their will and pin his stimulated body over theirs. Did they try to stop it? What would stop it from happening again, now?”

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