To Truly Feel Despair, You Have To Collapse

It’s impossible to really feel down unless you physically compress. If you allow your head to retreat into your torso and your back to collapse in, then you can truly access despair.

If you stay tall and poised, it’s impossible to feel despair.

Every emotion is only possible with a certain alignment of the body. A body that takes its full space in the world is not going to feel depressed.

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – You know you’re having a bad week when:
Let’s face it: It has not been a good week for Tom Brady. And while many New Yorkers will likely mutter “Good” when thinking about that, it seems like the hits are just going to keep on coming for the superstar athlete.
“Bradying” seems to be the latest meme to hit the internet. While “Bradying,” a subject is shown sitting on the floor, legs stretched out, with their hands folded between their legs. The head is bowed.
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You Can’t Fake A Smile

Alexander teacher Sharon Jakubecy says: “Our bodies never lie. So if you or someone you are flirting with is faking a smile, the body will tell the truth. A fake smile has no warmth or joy. It looks forced. The sides of the lips move up but the eyes are flat and expressionless.”

And is he lying?

“Eye contact is huge when it comes to lying,” our expert explains. “If someone is lying their eyes show it.” She goes on to say that there are exceptions with certain behavior conditions that may appear antisocial like Asperger’s Syndrome. However, most folks just can’t look you straight in the eye when they are telling you a lie. Or they go overboard trying to eyeball you to cover up their deceit.

Need more clues? Check for the voice. Sharon says that, “When people are lying, telling a half-truth, or saying something that they are not comfortable with, their voice may crack, drop in volume, or they may clear their throat. They may rush their words as well and move around a lot without being able to sit or stand still.”

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How does pain affect the way you move?

I just watched this cool video by Alexander teacher Sarah Chatwin.

If you’re in pain, that’s going to change the way you sit, stand, walk and talk. It will likely change the way you breathe.

Most people try to immobilize the area where they feel pain. If their shoulder hurts, they’ll tighten all around it, meaning they will tighten their neck and their back. This will only make the pain worse. Attempting to hold ourselves unnecessarily will make movement more awkward.

Joints love movement. If you compromise the movement of your joints, they won’t work as well.

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The Tom Brady Slouch

It looked like Tom Brady badly needed some Alexander Technique after he lost his second Super Bowl to the Giants.

You can’t feel bad unless you tighten your neck. The emotions of sadness, rage, disgust, contempt are not accessible to you unless you slump down into them.

Yahoo Sports reports:

INDIANAPOLIS – Tom Brady sat facing his locker, his head down and draped in a white towel, staring at the space between his cleats.

He was in full uniform. He was in full thought. There were the plays that hadn’t been made. There were the opportunities not seized. There was the Super Bowl that had slipped away, 21-17 to the New York Giants. Again, the Giants. Again.

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If You Won’t Let The Free Market Work, You’ll Have To Wait In Line

The New York Times reports today:

New York has been among the most aggressive states in trying to protect homeowners from foreclosure, granting new legal protections and turning courts across the state into teeming negotiation centers working to keep people in their homes.

But four years into the foreclosure crisis, the state’s courts are largely at a stalemate, facing an estimated 100,000 foreclosure cases — a record number — with tens of thousands more expected. Courts statewide have been mired in often hopeless cases involving loans that have left bus drivers and grocery clerks, among others, owing $700,000 or more on homes that have fallen in value.

As the Obama administration works on new mortgage-relief programs, lawyers and officials say New York’s experience shows the limits of a state’s ability to cope with the national foreclosure morass. “We are a shining example of somebody’s best efforts falling short through no fault of our own,” said Paul Lewis, a senior official in the New York court system who has been helping coordinate foreclosure cases since the start of the crisis.

So here you have a noble-sounding government program to help out people facing foreclosure. But what happens in the real world with noble-sounding government programs to help people? Government never has the resources to give help to all who want help. So government must ration its help.

How does government ration help? It could sell the help to the highest bidders but that rarely happens. Instead the government creates long waits in line. Those who are willing to wait and to fill out endless paperwork, they get the limited government help. People who place a higher value on their time, they skip the government help.

This holds for foreclosure relief or government healthcare or government scholarships to college.

Related articles:

February 6, 2012

February 1, 2012

January 31, 2012

January 30, 2012

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Torah Talk! Parashat Yitro (Exodus 18:1-20:23)

I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on my cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Yitro (Exodus 18:1-20:23).

* Do Jews take up too much space on the sidewalk?

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Big Government, Big Religion

From Dennis Prager today: “The Catholic Church has sided with the big government positions for years. Now they are reaping what they have sown as the Obama Administration tells them what they can do with their hospitals.”

Ross Douthat writes in the New York Times:

It’s true that abortion is only one of the services Planned Parenthood provides. (Although mammograms, it should be noted, are not necessarily among them: the group usually provides referrals, but not the mammogram itself, which is one of the reasons Komen’s founder had cited for discontinuing the grant.) But abortion is hardly an itty-bitty and purely tangential aspect of its mission, as many credulous journalists have implied.

Planned Parenthood likes to claim that abortion accounts for just 3 percent of its services, for instance, and this statistic has been endlessly recycled in the press. But the percentage of the group’s clients who received an abortion is probably closer to 1 in 10, and Planned Parenthood’s critics have estimated, plausibly, that between 30 and 40 percent of its health center revenue is from abortion.

By way of comparison, the organization also refers pregnant women for adoption. In 2010, this happened 841 times, against 329,445 abortions.

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “In the hearts of most people who are active on pro-choice, they know that there is at least a smidgen to the conservative position that that unborn is not just tissue. This is why they are so defensive. The moment they would acknowledge that there is a moral problem with taking the life of a human fetus for no reason other than personal convenience, which 99% of abortions are, ex-post facto birth control… That’s why they fight so strenuously to prevent women considering an abortion from seeing pictures of their [live] fetus.”

“At least 50% of women are pro-life. To the extent that it is a gender issue, men want women to get abortions because that enables men to impregnate women without responsibility.”

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The Latest Ultra-Orthodox Gender Segregation Efforts; Janeane Garofalo Plays a Russian Jew

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This Week’s Torah Portion – Parashat Yitro (Exodus 18:1-20:23)

I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs Mondays at 7:00 pm PST on my cam and on YouTube. Facebook Fan Page.

This week we study Parashat Yitro (Exodus 18:1-20:23).

* Do Jews take up too much space on the sidewalk?

* I’m a lot like Moses. I too get tired sitting in judgment all day on the Jewish people. Perhaps I need to deputize some junior bloggers?

* Moses tells Jethro, “When the people have a dispute, they come to me and I make known the law of God.” God is revealed through His law, not through theological doctrines. We too can find God through our disputes with our fellow by searching out the law. There aren’t matters too mundane for the law and for God.

* DMedic tells me: “What I learned from you and the Rabbi has kept me spiritually very stable. You guys helped me feel less guilt and made me more willing to fight against doing things that are wrong everyday. I could go on a rant but I just wanted to check in and let you and the Rabbi know that I haven’t forgotten the hard work you both have put out.”

* God tells the Israelites to get ready for his divine revelation by washing (Ex. 19:10)! Cleanliness is next to Godliness!

* God tells Moses, You shall set boundaries for the people (Ex. 19:12). One of the first things I learned in therapy was that I needed to start noticing and respecting boundaries.

* A mate of mine from Australia advises me: “Pull your finger out and get an asian girlfriend.” When I get married, things are going to be special in a way my secular friend will never understand.

* Ex. 19:16. The sound of the shofar was powerful. You have to be pretty thick not to be shaken by the sound of the shofar.

* Rabbi Berel Wein writes: Many times a new convert is most hesitant to give advice or counsel to the Jewish society. After all, the word “ger”- convert – in Hebrew, has the connotation of being a stranger, an outsider, someone who is only a sojourner and not yet necessarily a full fledged citizen. Therefore it is most understandable that such a person may feel somewhat reticent at giving suggestions and advice to those who have been Jews for generations and since their birth.

Yitro’s boldness in asserting himself immediately into advising and improving Jewish society is a testimony to his comfort level, sincerity and commitment regarding the Jewish people and its Torah values and strictures. That is why he is given so much respect and prominence in the Torah of the Jewish people.

* I’m often struck by the uncanny parallels between myself and Yitro. Rabbi Wein writes: “Yitro is one of the most enigmatic of all of the personages that appear in the Torah. There are many Yitros in Yitro’s life and perhaps this is the reason that the rabbis taught us that he possessed seven different names. Each name perhaps represented a different Yitro at a different point of his life. We meet him at the crossroads of his life’s choices and beliefs. On one hand he is a priest or former priest of paganism in Midian. He has experimented with every form of religion in the world before coming to the faith of monotheism. He is influenced undoubtedly by his unexpected son-in- law, Moshe. But he is also greatly influenced by the Exodus from Egypt and the visible and impressive miracles that accompanied this event.”

* It’s important to write down your observations when you are new to something or some place because your observations will often be keener than when you become more familiar. Rabbi Wein writes: “Yitro is the ultimate “outsider” looking in to see Torah and the Jewish people. Many times the “outsider” sees things more clearly than the “insider” in a society does. In Yiddish there is an expression that a temporary guest sees for a mile.”

* Does the rabbi and his GF have their special song?

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Jews Accused Of Taking Up Too Much Space On Sidewalks

So I was waiting in line with this woman who grew up in London but has split her past decade between the U.S. and Israel.

“It’s easy to be Jewish in Israel,” she said. “But life is much harder than here. It is easy to be Jewish here.

“In Britain, there’s much more anti-Semitism. We (British Jews) were brought up to be low-key. We were told to avoid congregating on the sidewalks after the high holidays so as to not attract too much attention. We were told not to walk together in large clumps.”

I’ve heard secular Jews complain to me about Pico-Robertson and “Orthodox Jews walking down the middle of the street on Saturdays like they own the place.”

Greg Leake emails: Hi Luke,

Your post suggests that secular Jews in your neighborhood are the ones primarily irritated with Orthodox Jews taking up too much walking room and acting like they own the neighborhood.

In my old neighborhood I don’t recall any of the goys being too upset by the multitudes of Jews on their way to shul. Naturally, some walked with their friends, and there would be too many for a sidewalk. Really, it would have been difficult for them all to try and remain on the sidewalk. In my old neighborhood, they would have come into some disgruntled concern because of their attitude that tried to act as if they owned the neighborhood.

Naturally, this is hard to do when all the goys around you are also successful and enjoy levels of prosperity and professional accomplishment. In my neighborhood, the view from the goys who were basically successful individuals was “who do these Jews think they are? I probably have more money than they do.” I was always astounded that the Jewish desire for an insular community apparently led them to do such terrible public relations with their non-Jewish neighbors who really would have been very accepting were it not for this attitude.

I managed to get onto friendly terms with some Orthodox and even some rabbis. This was partly a fluke, because I intervened when an aggressive drunk goy verbally attacked a pretty young Jewish girl and threatened violence. I jumped to the defense of the young lady and managed to back the drunk off. (Frankly, I was hoping he would swing at me so that I could have given him a hard place to sit down.) Later I found out he was just an ex-GI working out a lot of his problems.

Although I don’t believe the girl ever thanked me, some of the adults and her rabbi appreciated what I had done, and this, in part, led to a friendlier relationship with some members of the Jewish community. And it was here that I realized how needless this antagonism really is, because once I got to know some of these people, they could be very warm and friendly as long as they didn’t catch other Jews seeing them do it.

This leads me to something I have been thinking for a while. Probably the best outreach that the Jewish community has is in Michael Medved and Dennis Prager. I even think Medved is Orthodox. When goy listens to these guys on the radio they start to think that Jews are great people that it would be wonderful to have friendships with. Then this is followed by those same goys running into the Orthodox Jewish community. I wish that the word would get around to the Jewish community that you get make more friends with sugar than you do with vinegar. And having a lot of goys in your community think well of you and appreciate you is not a bad thing.

Luke says: How do Jews act when they act like they own the neighborhood? Are they too conspicuous?

What do you mean by terrible public relations with the non-Jews? I’ve never heard of any Jew condemned by his fellow Jews for being too friendly with non-Jews? Orthodox Jews have strict religious laws to adhere to and therefore can not eat cooked food prepared by a non-Jew, etc. These laws make it difficult to get close to non-Jews.

Greg Leake responds: Hi Luke,

One Jewish guy I met told me that the behavior I describe actually was because of the large number of New York Jews transplanted to Texas. And so I cannot be sure if the “bad public relations” was simply the product of a bunch of Yankees and not the Jews particularly. However, since the behavior was about 98% consistent throughout the Jewish community as I related to them, I don’t know.

My experience is that if you are a goy in a Jewish neighborhood, you will be utterly ignored. Naturally, a newcomer might be ignored and treated indifferently by residents, but in my experience this doesn’t end. You may have seen the same people in the supermarket a hundred times, and still they will not even look at you unless you elicit this in some conspicuous way. I never had one Jew initiate a conversation or exchange of the time of day or comment on the weather as long as I was in the neighborhood. This is particularly unusual for Texas. At the same time, these same Jews are, understandably, greeting each other, having little conversations, and acting as if they are neighborly with other Jews. It goes without saying that I understand that they know each other, see each other in shul, etc., etc. This all amounts to just a level of unfriendliness that is conspicuous by its absence in any other group I have been around.

You may remember I mentioned a girl who worked at Staples who told me that she had never been treated so rudely in her life by a class of patrons. When I asked her what she meant, she said, “Oh this is our neighborhood and we don’t have to give you the time of day.” I would like to say that this was rare behavior, but in my experience it was fairly common. Now please understand that I knew a very few Jews that did not carry on like this. It was almost as if they had the idea that if you ignored a whole group of people to an extravagant degree, one day you would wake up and they would all be gone.

None of this had much to do with the dietary differences, and I am sincerely grateful for those members of the Orthodox community who treated me and my wife with the same friendship that we treated them.

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