Aish.com Hacked

FailedMessiah reports:

It seems Aish.com was hacked over Passover. At 12:30 AM CDT Tuesday, it is still down.

I was forwarded a message from an Aish subscriber that reads as follows:

Aish-Maintenance 500X400

The Bank of Israel was also hacked over Passover and earlier Islamic Jihad claimed credit for hacking several smaller Israeli sites, as well.

[Hat Tip: Yisroel.]

The earlier message above has been changed to:  "Aish.com is undergoing routine maintenance." It’s an obvious lie and further evidence that truth has only an instrumental value in Judaism.

Here’s the current note at the bottom of aish.com:

During Passover, Aish.com was maliciously attacked by a group from Beijing, China. While our servers sit very safely behind firewalls, this group was able to exploit a bug in the web servers’ operating code which allowed them to insert hyper-links on a handful of Aish.com webpages. Our hosting company, Terremark (also home to Google and YouTube) was able to identify the attack and exactly which files were effected. For safety sake, it was decided to completely restore the website from backup files that were dated before the attack. This required a lengthy restore process of hundreds of gigabytes of data on multiple servers and databases. The data was restored and verified for integrity and errors at every step in the process. Thank God, the website is now back up and the bug that the hackers were able to use has now been safely closed.

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I Spent $50 Today To Be Alone With A Beautiful Woman For Two Hours

It was money well spent even if it was on a doctor of acupuncture.

I feel confident that wherever I go this week, women will sense that I have not been without the company of the fairer sex.

This is called social proof and pre-selection.

It’ll make women want me more.

Here’s the back story: I’m a wimp. I’m not very strong. I sit at home all day and listen to pop songs and write about my feelings. This does not make for a manly man.

So in the evenings when I wield the Camera of Death, its weight pulls tendons away from my elbow, creating a lot of pain and increased weakness which leads to increased elbow problems.

I’ve been in this vicious cycle for over two years.

I bought an ergonomic keyboard from safetype.com which helps. I bought an ergonomic mouse at the same location. I stopped abusing myself. I stopped flipping people off. I strapped on tefillin every morning.

These things helped but not enough. The burden of sin I carried was too heavy and it kept tearing tendons away from my elbow whenever I took immodest photos or wrote lashon hara (which I did every day except Saturdays).

In September 2006, I opened the yellow pages and found a lovely Asian acupuncturist near me. I fell in love with her (platonically). After a few months of $80 sessions (plus herbs!), my elbow problems were solved but my monetary problems were just beginning.

I cut out the acupuncture and the Oriental massage. I stopped snorting cocaine and chasing hookers while taking helicopter rides around the Grand Canyon.

Over the next year of abstinence, my elbow problems returned with a vengeance. Almost every time I brought a sheila over to the hovel, it was to work on my joint.

"Now I’ve made you happy," I’d say, "could you rub my elbow? I strained it taking care of you."

Last week, I decided to Google "’cheap acupuncture’ Los Angeles" and I found two colleges: Emperor’s College in Santa Monica and the YoSan Community Clinic.

I’ve used each of them and I recommend them both. Acupuncture sessions cost $30 (the initial consultation at YoSan is $50).

It’s not so much the acupuncture that I’m paying for. It’s the nurturing. I need a sympathetic female ear to listen to my many complaints. Then I need to be pierced by needles to expiate my sins.

By the time I walk out, I feel like most Jews coming out of Yom Kippur services — born again and ready to sin anew.

(I glimpsed the same white doctor at both colleges.)

YoSan is more luxurious. While Emperor’s College makes you sign an agreement to not sexually harass the staff and to not comment on their appearance, YoSan makes no such explicit demand (though I think it is tacky to compliment women on their appearance in these situations). YoSan also features this delicious Ancient Treasures Tea in the waiting room (I didn’t see any free tea at Emperor’s College). It’s a very powerful aphrodisiac. I had four cups and I’ve been up all day. I can’t get down.

I’d call my doctor but he’s a man so how can help me?

On the downside, YoSan didn’t pipe music into my room while I was lying there like a pin cushion.

Both colleges offer low-cost herbs. I used to have to pay $70 for a two-week supply of this awful-tasting Chinese tea but I never got that thrust at me at these places. On the plus side, those horrible herbs did stop me from rising six times a night to play water music on my throne.

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No Lady Fingers For Passover

From chaptzem:

Companies that produce strictly Kosher for Pesach baked products are no longer producing lady fingers. The companies have now renamed the product to either ‘Baby Fingers’ or ‘Fingers’ as not to create an association between their product and the female gender, which may cause male customers to have impure thoughts.

Anon posts:

Isn’t this the same stuff that the priest passes out right after Catholic mass?
I’m ashamed to admit it but after a few boxes of Baby Fingers I developed a taste for human flesh. I also developed a belief that the Rebbe is Moshiach including a tourettes-like syndrome with a yell of "Yechi" every five minutes.
The stuff was produced in Crown Heights. I should have checked the box but now its too late. If only had I had been more careful….
Yechi !!
Yechi !!

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From ’68 agitator to staunch supporter of George W Bush’s Iraq war

Alexander Linklater writes:

For most of his 40-year career, Christopher Hitchens’s notoriety has been confined to highbrow journalistic, literary and political circles. In the last 15 years, he has been familiar to readers of Vanity Fair and the Atlantic, and to viewers of the American current affairs shows that invite him on to say outrageous things in stylish phrases. His aptitude for the iconoclastic flourish—describing Princess Diana and Mother Teresa at their deaths, for example, as, respectively, "a simpering Bambi narcissist and a thieving fanatical Albanian dwarf"—sustained his currency as an intellectual shock troop of the left. Then, with his support for the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, and for George W Bush’s re-election in 2004, the left itself became a target of his polemics. But whichever side he took, he continued to file what were essentially minority reports to a specialist audience. Only God was able to promote him beyond such factional interests by providing the subject of a bestseller. While Hitchens has authored 16 books, including works on Henry Kissinger, Bill Clinton, the Elgin marbles, George Orwell, Thomas Paine and Thomas Jefferson, his assault on religion in God is not Great was the first occasion for which a publisher had arranged a serious US book tour.

Now his proselytising atheism has granted him something like the status of a household name. But why does this insolently charismatic, upper middle-class Englishman seem to attract, and repel, so many people? It may be something about the way in which he combines a raffish, old-fashioned intellectual showmanship with an eye for the big story. His current battle against faith is the biggest of his career—it is the earliest argument he remembers having as a child, and the one that will be with him to the end.

Christopher Hitchens’s apartment is curiously unchanged in the 13 years since I first visited him in Washington. A portrait of him and his wife, screenwriter Carol Blue, is still unframed. There is little art on the walls, few travel mementos; just bookshelves, a spacious living room, a modest kitchen and an annex for the alcohol. The aesthetic is not so much utilitarian as uncluttered of anything that would distract from the essentials of his life: reading, meeting people, drinking, laughing, arguing, writing.

It’s around 3am, there’s a half-empty bottle of whisky on the table and Hitchens is regressing. I’ve come to trace a pamphleteer’s journey through the ideological left—from the convulsions of 1968, through the inversions of 1989 and into the moral convolutions of Iraq. But as our first conversation unravels, Hitchens guides me back to one of his old strongholds—the 17th-century contest between king and parliament of the English civil war.

For Hitchens, the Cromwellian revolt represents not just the foundational struggle for parliamentary rule, but the great rejection of divine right. Relishing its triumphal Protestant music, he launches into a recital of "The Battle of Naseby," Thomas Babington Macaulay’s 19th-century eulogy to the decisive encounter, in 1645, of the English revolution. (Hitchens’s memory is encyclopaedic. Ian McEwan has observed that it is as if everything he has ever read or heard is "instantly neurologically available.")

In God Is Not Great, he declares himself a "Protestant" atheist. He claims that the liturgies of the King James Bible and Cranmer prayer book provided, at once, a poetics to embrace and a belief system to reject. He plucks a secular vocabulary from the literary canon and rips away its religious roots. But he is no optimistic Enlightenment rationalist. He identifies himself with Thomas Paine’s disillusion at the French terror, and Rosa Luxemburg’s famous warning to Lenin about the inexorability of one-man rule. He retains, however, from his Marxist youth an intellectual absolutism and a disdain for liberal dilemmas and trade-offs—hence a brutal assault on Isaiah Berlin’s genteel liberalism in a 1998 essay. And there is an undertow of violence in his arguments, an inability to empathise. He is, for example, incurious about what religious belief feels like, or what meaning it has for millions of people—even though, unlike his co-anti-religionist Richard Dawkins, Hitchens concedes that religious feeling is ineradicable.

As with other public polemicists, arguments for or against any issue become arguments for or against him. His starting point is always confrontation, his procedure to wrestle out contradiction, his endpoint a position of certainty. It’s that preternatural capacity for certainty, carried through the velocity and elegance of his writing, which has made him the most scintillating and disturbing British journalist of the ’68 generation. He is not exaggerating much when he says: "The world I live in is one where I have five quarrels a day, each with someone who really takes me on over something; and if I can’t get into an argument, I go looking for one, to make sure I trust my own arguments, to hone them."

…For all that the personality is exorbitantly on display, he has scarcely written about himself before. The only near-intimate account he has laid down in print was a piece published in 1988 by the New York magazine Grand Street—called "On Not Knowing the Half of It." In this he tells the story of how his brother discovered, many years after her death, that their mother had been Jewish. Much of the article is exercised by the question of whether his inheritance played a part in the shaping of his views. Largely, he concludes with satisfaction, it did not. He describes his annoyance at an editor telling him that it would make things easier because Jews are allowed to criticise Israel. The legacy of the ’68 generation he most deplores is that of identity politics or any argument that begins "speaking as a…"—gay man, Scot, single mother, Muslim and so on. Nevertheless, while he revolts against the Kiplingesque notion of "thinking with the blood," he relishes the surprise of his ethnicity and at least a remote connection to a great tradition of critics and intellectual outsiders.

It seems it was an atmosphere of genteel antisemitism in Britain generally, and of conservative opinion in her husband’s family more particularly, that persuaded Yvonne Hitchens to keep her Jewishness secret. One of the more "narcissistic recollections" in the Grand Street article suggests how she transferred her ambitions on to her first son. Hitchens recalls overhearing an argument between his parents during which his father declared that they couldn’t afford private school fees. His mother disagreed, concluding with the retort: "If there is going to be an upper class in this country, Christopher is going to be in it." By insisting that the necessary sacrifices be made, she was doing more, Hitchens suspects, than merely ensuring his social elevation. "Now I wish I could ask my mother," he wrote, "was all this effort expended, not just to make me a gentleman, but to make me an Englishman?"

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Israeli Cantor Avoids Sex Trap

Cantor Naftali Herstik is the artist who restored cantorial singing to a serious art form, while his rival Israel Rand seems like a half-witted creep.

If I could find out why Rand lost his job in the Hamptons (replaced by Herstik’s son) – then I would have the full story.

Suffice to say, Rand was accused of certain indiscretions in the Hamptons and this cost him his job.

From the New York Daily News:

A nasty rivalry between two of Israel‘s most famous cantors has led to a sex-and-the-synagogue scandal.

Cops are investigating the alleged dirty tricks of one cantor to entrap the other into falling for a tawdry hotel hookup.

Cantor Israel Rand of the Great Synagogue of Ramat Gan near Tel Aviv is accused of plotting an unholy scheme to topple his one-time mentor, Cantor Naftali Herstik of the Great Synagogue of Jerusalem.

In a complaint filed against Rand, Herstik charges his former student hired a sexy female private investigator to seduce him into a hotel romp so that he could get compromising photos.

Herstik said he agreed to meet the woman, who posed as a music student, but he bolted from her Tel Aviv hotel room when he spotted the hidden cameras.

"If indeed it was Rand, it brings into question why he would be allowed among civilized Jews," said Rabbi David Fuld, president of the Great Synagogue of Jerusalem’s board.

Israeli police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld confirmed the allegations against Rand were being probed and prosecutors were mulling an indictment. Rand refused to comment when contacted by The Associated Press.

In a police statement, Rand claimed his feud with Herstik began three years ago when the older cantor disrespected him at synagogue in the Hamptons.

"The man has been persecuting and defaming me for years. He has been making up stories about me. In the last two or three years he has harassed me," Rand said in the statement, which was obtained by Israel’s Haaretz newspaper.

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Breastfeeding In The Sanctuary

Some Orthodox synagogues have a problem with women whipping their bosoms out during davening.

Hmm.

Can’t we just all be free to do what we want and to pull our breasts out when we want?

Isn’t that what Moses would want?

Isn’t that what Joe Francis would want?

From my live cam chat:

QuixoticLass:  not in front of the torah
bipolardragon:  pffff
Emma:  PFFFT
QuixoticLass:  I’m all for it wherever, except in the sanctuary
YourMoralLeader:  it’s offensive
QuixoticLass:  as long as there is some modesty involved
Emma:  They do it in Church..theres no problem
bipolardragon:  what is so bad about a mother feeding her child
QuixoticLass:  you are offended by the sight of a woman feeding her baby?
QuixoticLass:  everywhere or just in shul
guest6:  Does a donation to the Emma Fund count as Masser?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  what’s masser?
bipolardragon:  the emma fund, cool
guest6:  tithing 1/10
YourMoralLeader:  I want to go where love is
YourMoralLeader:  yes
guest6:  charity begins in the humble hovel
QuixoticLass:  are you feeling indestructable?
YourMoralLeader:  I must pursue truth
YourMoralLeader:  Emma wants me to pursue truth
Emma:  Indeed
guest6:  "You can’t haqndle the truth"
bipolardragon:  do you have a dog emma
Emma:  Yep.. a Labradorg
Emma:  Yeah she is cool
Emma:  =]
Emma:  And shiny
guest6:  Emma will tame the beast in Luke
Emma:  Gave her a hose bath today
YourMoralLeader:  I’ll give you a hose bath
Emma:  During the day 6 yes
Emma:  lol Luke
bipolardragon:  you can give luke a horse bath too
bipolardragon:  looks like he needs it
guest6:  Luke needs to be broken in
guest6:  brokedown Luke Mountain
Emma:  Brokeback mountain, that was a great movie
Emma:  I cried at the end
Emma:  Why did he have to die
Emma:  Why oh why
bipolardragon:  if it were two lesbians i would have seen the movie
Emma:  You and every other guy Michel
guest6:  Did you plan your list of movies to watch with Luke when you come see him?
Emma:  Just one
Emma:  Passion of the Christ
bipolardragon:  the passion of luke
bipolardragon:  at a cinema near you in june
guest6:  How about Fiddler on the Roof?
Emma:  hmm
Emma:  Sure why not
guest6:  and Luke can serenede you
bipolardragon:  he can’t sing though
guest6:  but he sure fakes it well
Emma:  Luke has a very unigue singing voice
guest6:  you can only go to the cinema after your morning exercise session

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Beverly Deutsch et al Vs. General Motors et al

Beverly Deutsch is the wife of Sanford Deutsch. She was hit by a bus. Unbelievable story.

Sanford was a big macher in Jewish Los Angeles. He was a lay leader of the Orthodox Union. He led Congregation Sharei Tefilah at Poinsettia and Beverly Blvd. He led the JNF.

Case Type: Prdct Liablty (not asbes,tox,envir (General Jurisdiction) Case#: BC389150 CASE NAME: BEVERLY DEUTSCH ET AL VS GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION ET AL Parties: DEUTSCH BEVERLY – PL/PET,DEUTSCH SANFORD – PL/PET,DOE 1 – Def/Res,DOE 2 – Def/Res,DOE 3 – Def/Res,DOE 4 – Def/Res,DOE 5 – Def/Res,DOE 6 – Def/Res,DOES 7 THROUGH 50 – Def/Res,GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION – Def/Res,LOS ANGELES COUNTY METROPOLITAN TRANSPOR- – Def/Res,LOU EHLERS CADILLAC INC. – Def/Res,NORTH AMERICAN BUS INDUSTRIES INC. – Def/Res,RENICK CADILLAC INC. – Def/Res Attorneys: NOVACK BARRY LAW OFFICES OF – Attorney for PL/PET Date Filed: 04/17/2008

Parties DEUTSCH BEVERLY – Plaintiff/Petitioner DEUTSCH SANFORD – Plaintiff/Petitioner DOE 1 – Defendant/Respondent DOE 2 – Defendant/Respondent DOE 3 – Defendant/Respondent DOE 4 – Defendant/Respondent DOE 5 – Defendant/Respondent DOE 6 – Defendant/Respondent DOES 7 THROUGH 50 – Defendant/Respondent GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION – Defendant/Respondent LOS ANGELES COUNTY METROPOLITAN TRANSPOR- – Defendant/Respondent LOU EHLERS CADILLAC INC. – Defendant/Respondent NORTH AMERICAN BUS INDUSTRIES INC. – Defendant/Respondent NOVACK BARRY LAW OFFICES OF – Attorney for Plaintiff/Petitioner RENICK CADILLAC INC. – Defendant/Respondent

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Chabad Rabbi Joseph Mishulovin Vs. Hanna Gamson

Rabbi Mishulovin owns Atarah’s — a Judaica bookstore on Fairfax Blvd. He was the owner of Chabad of Mid-City and was the head of Cheder Menachem (a big Chabad day school on Pico Blvd near Doheny Blvd).

Case Type: Other Compl-not Tort or Complex (General Jurisdiction) Case#: BC388952 CASE NAME: JOSEPH MISHULOVIN VS HANNA GAMSON Parties: DOES 1-5 – Def/Res,GAMSON HANNA – Def/Res,MISHULOVIN JOSEPH – PL/PET Attorneys: REVERE FRANK ESQ. – Attorney for PL/PET Date Filed: 04/11/2008

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For This, The MSM Ignored The Rielle Hunter Story?

More on the John Edwards – Rielle Hunter story here.

Mickey Kaus writes:

We Ignored the Rielle Hunter Scandal and All We Got Was This Lousy Op-Ed! Elizabeth Edwards has a bushelful of chutzpah chastising the mainstream campaign press for its "shallow news coverage" after the mainstream campaign press cut her and her husband** a huge break on one of the great shallow stories of 2008–the mysterious Edwards Campaign Love Child (see link for claim of an Edwards aide that he is the father of the child, and various other denials).. …

P.S.: The E.C.L.C. must have been born by now, no? Tips gratefully accepted. …

P.P.S.: What was so exciting about Joe Biden’s health plan (which Mrs. Edwards thinks we should all have been told more about)? Couldn’t she have spared a paragraph in her double-length op-ed to explain its unique, cruelly-ignored genius? It doesn’t look so exciting to me. She could have steered me right. … Or, like the MSM, was she worried about boring her readers to death, preferring to talk about process issues? …

P.P.P.S.: Mrs. Edwards also complains that in 1954 the Army McCarthy hearings were televised, "but by only one network." Wasn’t one enough?

***–She describes him as "a former senator from the South standing loyally beside his ill wife." When does chutzpah become heedless Gary-Hart like taunting? ..

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It Was Long And Hot

I’m referring to my Passover.

Like all Jewish holidays with the extra day of yom tov (holy day) because we live in the diaspora, it was more of an endurance test than a spiritual uplift.

I want to join Dennis Prager’s cult — Jews Against Yom Tov Sheni.

When I measure up onerous work and weigh it against the joy, I find my Judaism ten times more work than joy.

Being a naturally lazy, slovenly and lustful person, I’d be sunk without the rigor of Orthodox Judaism. I’d just walk around cheating people and screwing as many women as I could.

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