Increased Security At Synagogues This Sabbath

One prominent shul on Pico Blvd emails its members:

Dear Members,

In light of the Jewish Institutions security situation in New York, we will be extra cautious this Shabbat. We request your cooperation and compliance with directives. There is no specific threat; we are just being cautious – as advised.

The front doors on Pico will be locked and manned by a security guard.

Please know that you will only be able to enter the Shul from the back gate where we will have an armed guard on duty. This guard works for us on the High Holidays and is familiar with our crowd and routine.

Once you have entered the back gate please be sure to move quickly to where you need to be. Park your strollers in a responsible manner where you will not obstruct exits. Drop your children at their groups and encourage them to remain there. Please advise your children to not engage the guards in conversation or "hang" on Pico. When services are over please try not to linger on Pico in front of the Shul – keep moving along home. Please be alert, and if you observe something "odd" – make note of details and report it to the guards, or if necessary to the police.

Thank you and Shabbat Shalom!

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The Unkindest Cut?

David Deutsch writes:

First of all, I don’t know if this is a reflection on you or on him, but I haven’t seen David Kelsey so excited since he got a mention from VDARE.

Now, on to an important question for Lukeford.net. On Kelsey’s blog there were some anti-circumcision activists going on about how sexually debilitating it, loss of sensitivity, etc. And as is usually the case where there is an intersection between sex and halacha, I thought of you. Now, there anti-bris crowd always has these anecdotals by men who’ve been cut as adults, who say that they’ve lost sensitivity, but I wonder, is there anybody who says that sex is just as good, if not better? It would be pretty good PR. Now, I’m not asking you personally:

A. Because if I recall correctly, I asked you on the night we met if you had an adult circumcision, but you’d been cut as a kid (is that possible, did I really ask you that within five minutes of being introduced?–we really were meant for each other)

B. Because I know you’re saving yourself until marriage.

That said, you still might be the person to put the word out and see if anyone out there is willing to stand up and speak out for the bris.

At any rate, gut shabbos, and hope things are going well.

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I Try To Lead The Jews Into The Promised Land Of Heterosexual Love

I’ve had such a trying day.

I got bitten by a ferocious dog.

I made several highly inappropriate remarks of a sexual nature over lunch and accidentally intimated that one or both of my hosts had lied to the other about their possible marriage.

Oy, and I was only trying to make the Torah shine!

I’ve snagged a new job. I drive a friend around. Because I don’t have the bladder of a camel, I stop drinking an hour before I begin my driving in case I get stuck in traffic and can’t use a restroom for hours. So I went hours without drinking a sip of water this afternoon, which always leads me to a massive headache.

Then I push myself to the Isralite/JConnectLA Yom Yerushaliam (Jerusalem Day) party tonight and fate places me at the head of a conga line of Jews (several of them rabbis). We’re moving in constipated homo-erotic jerks completely contrary to Moshe’s wishes for our lives and thus I try to lead the group to where the ladies are and where ultimate fulfillment rests (in the true Torahdic 49-levels of Aish HaTorah fulfillment as prophesed by Ezekiel).

Dancing with women is much hotter. It’s what HaShem would want. Certainly for my life of abstemious self-denial. Some female loving couldn’t hurt, as long as it was in accord with Biblical prophecy and Madonna’s interpretation of kabbalah.

I clap my hands and try to look assertive, manly, more hetero than Oscar Wilde, and very very religious.

And as I step out in faith, confident that HaShem will protect me from shame, as I sway and sing and clap and try to be the Moral Leader, as I move up to my eyeballs in doubt and embarrassment, I turn around and notice that nobody is following me and that I am just making a complete and utter fool of myself.

I flee the party.

I haven’t slept in two nights. As I mentioned, I have a new job. It requires me to rise at 5 a.m. I have this mortal fear that my alarm won’t go off and I will let down my friend and my fear is so severe, that I have not slept the past two nights. I’m a wreck. I’m ashamed and bitten and just a very bad Jew. No wonder nobody follows me.

After I told this Persian Jewess tonight that my name is Levi Ben Avraham, she said with absolute seriouness, "Oh, you’re Jewish?"

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God’s Phallus

Do you ever go to a website or another holy site and seek words of Torah, only to have repeatedly thrust in your face the most aberrant forms of sexuality?

Yeah, me too.

I’m a tender soul and I’m just not used to a lot of talk about God’s Phallus, though I do hear it is a fantastic book.

And the Greek word for genitalia is most sublime.

And I appreciate how unwrapping the Torah is like undressing a woman… I can’t even talk about poking the Torah with a yad and its implications. Oy vey!

Sometimes it is all a bit much for a simple Jew such as myself.

Why can’t the Torah be sex-free like me?

I went today to discuss Talmud with a friend over a humble lunch (fried pita, humus, tabouli, beets, salad, raspberries, cherries) and her stupid little white dog bit me.

This normally mild-mannered animal went into a rage that lasted for hours. His sharp little teeth went right through my Hasidic clothing. I feel like the Mickey Rourke character in Angel Heart. Wherever I go, dogs bark at me and then bite me.

A couple of weeks ago, I was looking after two little dogs, and when I became friendly with the owner in a manner completely in consonance with kabbalah, one of the dogs bit me. (He’d already bitten me when we first met a couple of hours before.)

This upsets me because this part of me that enrages dogs and other living things is not my true self, not my highest self, not the part of me that I present on Facebook and Twitter.

Here’s a picture of Eliot on a happier day enjoying some quality time with his friend Lewis.

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Do We Need More Muslim Immigration?

David Kelsey emails:

Rabosai,

I really don’t want to bother you guys when you aren’t ready, so let me know the following so I save emails and pleas for action.

Before you take Muslim immigration seriously as a threat to the Jewish community that requires mobilization against Muslim immigration, how many of the following still has to occur?
 
1) How many plots against the Jewish community still need to be uncovered?
2) How many Jewish buildings must still be successfully attacked by Muslims?
3) Please let me know which, if any, of the following, are also necessary to occur here by Muslims in order to take these problems seriously. Please note, it is assumed that in each cases listed below, Muslim anti-semitism was a contribution to motive.

A) Rape
B) Rape with knives and/or inserted blunt objects
C) Kidnapping
D) Kidnapping and torture
E) Acid thrown on a girl’s face to sanctify Mohammed
F) Plowing a car into a crowd of Jews
G) Grenades/Machine guns/bombs at a Jewish gathering

Thanks for your feedback, I don’t want to pressure anyone into xenophobia before they are ready. I hope none of the above ever happens again, but am quite fearful  that they will. Just keep ’em coming.

Best,
Kelsey

DAVID KELSEY BLOGS:

Last night’s arrest of four black men targeting Riverdale synagogues for destruction is only the latest example of how blacks are to be utilized against the American Jewish community by the Muslims. It seems interesting that Newburgh is not that far from the enlave Islamberg. We will see how interesting that is as details of their influence unfolds.

Racial-Marxists insist that the problems that Europe is facing from mass immigration will not be the same in the U.S. because the U.S. does not have the same colonial history as the other countries do, and treats immigrant groups differently.

These people are right. Mass immigration of Muslims in the U.S. will not have the same effects as in Europe. Here, it will be much, much worse.

True, the U.S. does not have the same colonial legacy as European countries. Rather, we have something far more enraging: we had chattel slavery. And the Muslims are proving increasingly adept at converting and influencing people of color to express and channel their resentment and rage through Islam. Nothing will assuage a significant segment of the black population infuriated over slavery. Not affirmative action, not government subsidies, not reparations, not a black president. Nothing. Those insisting that we focus on “root causes” of discontent ignore that the past cannot be changed.

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Form Letter To Congress

Joe emails:

Dear Ms. ______:

I simply cannot believe that the Obama administration intends to move enemy combatants and terrorists held offshore in Cuba to the United States. There are many things about the Obama administration that irk me, especially his completely reckless economic plans, but I have taken the necessary measures to protect my finances while he destroys the nation’s finances. However, when it comes to the security of this country and my family’s well-being, I must respond because only the U.S. government can defend us.

The people held at Guantanamo Bay are not people who steal cars or forge checks. They are not drug dealers or even sexual predators. They are mass murderers, each and every one of them. They subscribe to the same ideology as the people attempting to blow up a synagogue in the Bronx. These people should not be welcome in our galaxy, let alone our country.

They were caught on the battlefield fighting for Al Qaeda or hiding in basements in Pakistan after killing 3,000 people. Say what you will about George W. Bush, but when he said that someone aiding a terrorist is a terrorist, he was right. These are not soldiers drafted into an army or even volunteering for the sake of a nation that decided to engage in war against our armed forces. These people are killers and they made their own bed when they decided to fight a war of terror against the US (and as I recall, it was a war against a two year old child on a transcontinental flight – her name was Christine Hansen, and she was on her way to Disneyland).

There should be no expectation on the part of renegade jihadists of any level of treatment by the US. I have no problem, and neither did you or Ms. Pelosi, with enhanced interrogation techniques. I do have a problem, unlike our President, with any remaining persons at Guantanamo Bay reaching US shores unless they are tried first offshore. I do not want to see the radicals use the prisons as rallying stations to harm the US.

Please, you are in a safe district and will serve well after Mr. Obama is done, and can do the right thing. Stand against Mr. Obama and keep those in Guantanamo there.

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The New Rage In Mug Shots

These are all real mug shots from the police:

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Meir Kin Dispute Resolution In Sight?

This email made the rounds today (background on this story):

From: Jeremy <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, May 20, 2009 at 6:11 PM
Subject: May 31st Kin Rally Postponed
To: [email protected]

Dear Friends,

As per the advice of community rabbis, in light of recent positive developments, we are officially postponing the rally against Meir Kin which was scheduled for May 31st. We pray that rescheduling the rally will not be necessary, but please stay in touch for updates. In the mean time, check out www.MeirKin.com for more information, including the facts regarding the invalid “get” that Meir supposedly issued.

Thank you for your continued support, and please feel free to contact us if you have any questions: [email protected].

~The ORA Team

Jeremy Stern

The Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA)

CHAIM EMAILS ME: "Ive been monitoring ORA’s actvities & I notice that you fail to mention last names — but you DO list last names on the seiruv list. This seems to be part of a larger propaganda machine, & makes me wonder about the veracity of so-called successes."

Michael Kaplan of ORA responds: “Once the case is resolved, there is no reason for us to further publicize the names of the parties involved. If not for the fact that a seiruv is a public document and necessitates public knowledge for it to be enforced, we wouldn

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‘Sex Drive’ Is Nasty

And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

I love this film.

I am watching it live on my cam!

Rex: Ian, your 18 and you’ve never had A girlfriend. That’s how people wind up getting gay, you know?
Ian: I don’t think that’s really how it happens.
Rex: Tell me how it happens expert, ya cock expert, ya cockspert. Hey, what do you like better the shaft or the balls?
Ian: That’s gross.
Rex: You like em both don’t you. It’s like, sometimes tuesday you want the big, old, shiny-ass cock. Wednesdays and Thursdays you’re onto the balls.
Ian: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Rex: You can’t choose can you? Thats a tough one. You love it. You’re obsessed with it.
Ian: No, you are, your talking about it.
Rex: Why are you smiling at me, I’m serious. Don’t fucking smile at me, I’ll knock you out of the god damn earth. What does it taste like? What’s it like when you take your mouth off of it and its like, you can see your reflection in that fucking cock. Smack you in the face a little bit, you don’t like that?
Ian: I don’t eat
[gets cut off]
Ian: .
Rex: Just like shiny, fucking stiff, throbbing, hot vascular mushroom head.
Ian: Ya ya.
Rex: Look, every guy has a fantasy about another guy, but you gotta bury that shit way down, this is America goddamnit.
Ian: There is, there is a girl. That I’ve been kinda…
Rex: Alright, I’m listening, where’d you meet her?
Ian: Um, on the, online.
Rex: [Slams car breaks on] What? For fuck’s sakes Ian, don’t you watch dateline? She’s probably a guy. Some fat, old dude who wants to ram you in the tailpipe.
[Smiles]
Rex: But you’d love that wouldn’t you, cuz your a homo!

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The Los Angeles Elections and the Jews

Joe emails: The municipal elections are probably a very important message for the LA Jewish Political Elite. The day is coming that Jewish politicians who are hacks and in lousy districts will simply not get elected.

The bad news is that Jack Weiss, who got elected due to his last name and the kind of money it generated and the votes it could get him, lost. Now, truth be told, Jack Weiss is an awful human being. He is a sore winner and was deeply unpopular and it was not for lack of effort on his part. He is a spoiled brat, teacher’s pet, jerk, all rolled into one. But, as they say, he was good for the Jews, to a degree – he helped out but did not risk much. Turns out that that will not cut it anymore. The Jewish developer/lawyer/entertainer power elite and the city machine that it bribes simply cannot count on the voters it once had. There are less liberal Jews who will vote knee-jerk Jewish. Scummy politicians like Weiss cannot count on the automatic voting reflexes that got Yaroslavsky and Feuer into office. There are not enough Jews and even the Jews are realizing that lousy politicians do the tribe no honor.

The good news is that Paul Koretz, a total hack if there ever was one and a more out of touch politician could not be gotten from central casting, won over David Vahedi, who was running his second time and ran a decent campaign, his main weakness being a lack of a jewish mother. Now, Vahedi looks like Fred Munster, but Koretz looks worse. Plus, Koretz is the total package of leftist claptrap (moving to impeach George W. Bush while in Sacramento?) and just general sucking up to the unions. But, the fact is, that in a jewish district, the goy stands almost no chance.

By way of background, Zev Yaroslavsky drew up the 5th district by literally drawing large circles around the 15 largest synagogues in Los Angeles and then connecting those circles however he could. The 5th district contains Shaarey Zedek, a Valley Orthodox shul that consists largely of piltdown men who would not know about global warming because their black hats are on too tight, Temple Beth Am, a Conservative synagogue on the westside that is so politically correct they alternate the colors of the toilet paper in the bathroom, Young Israel of Century City, a Westside Orthodox shul that has a weekly bulletin with more Jewish content than some sections of the Talmud, and Temple Sinai, a Conservative Congregation that is so rich that its Rabbi can make statements that nothing happened at Mount Sinai and still pull down 300k plus. These places have nothing in common other than the prevalence of the last name goldman in each. With a district mapped like that, a Jew will win until the rapture cometh.

Why is this all important? Well, as of now, the Los Angeles area sends four Jews to the House of Representatives. Not all four of them will be in DC in 2012, because the new census will result in Latinos wanting more seats, and this will come at the expense of safe Jewish districts.

In order of safety, they prospects are:

Waxman – totally safe – he is actually the absolute worst out of touch human being ever, but with more power than Darth Vader and the good fortune of being in a district totally gerrymandered for the jewish vote.

Schiff – safe as he has the gift of being a crafty politician and a blue dog democrat in a moderate area in which the republicans will never win again. However, there is no unified minority in his district that would push him out.

Sherman – a non-hack politician, and the potential to be a great Secretary of the Treasury when Geithner resigns sometime later this year. He has created lots of good will in his district, which should remain white for at least the next decade.

Berman – not out of touch like his political cousin Waxman, but unfortunately in a district where Latinos are like the humidity – they are everywhere, and for some reason, unable to penetrate the liberal power structure in D.C. – mainly because he is principled – he was for the Iraq war and has not bought on to the Obama peace train.

I think Berman will have to retire after 2010 in favor of a luminary from the Latino community in the mold of a Loretta Sanchez, etc. The only hope for his district is a ten year reprieve, but the Latinos will demand more house seats and it will not be Maxine Waters who will be forced out.

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