Stupid Things I Say To Myself II

Linda emails:

HI, well i been a reader of your blog–on and off. (i admit, i cannot take a daily dose)–for years and years. How many?
I dunno. ten maybe. .well practically since Day One, whenever that was.

Today–I got a few minutes before I gotta get over to my important Korean Soap opera (did you know they aren’t like US soap operas? more like a serial.. beginning, middle end.. takes about a year to sew it all up)…so I was fiddling thru your blog.. and discover an entry about Stupid things you say to self.

You know, I don’t esp like you, but… I really am sucked into your success by now–I know.. it’s pathetic.. a stranger out there who Wants to see you Happy. I do.

When i read the entry I went, “WHOO BOY.. really? I don’t believe it.. he’s sounding sane.. making sense. I think… he’s going to do it. He’s going to finally find peace, some measure of financial ok-ness and do i even dare say it? my god, maybe he’ll even get married happily.”

I’ll stay tuned in of course.. now with this little beam of hope. You GO, Luke. I am so proud of you!

Your non-fan, but ever faithful reader,

L

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That Was The Worst National Anthem!

Yuck! Christian A was horrible.

Report: The biggest moment any singer can ask for: “The Star Spangled Banner” at the Super Bowl. And Christina Aguilera messed up the lyrics.

At about 51 seconds in, as she was about to sing the fourth line (“O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming”), she accidentally sang a hybrid of the second line: “What so proudly we watched, at the twilight’s last streaming.”

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Wells Fargo’s Mortgage Vulnerabilities

I cover the mortgage and real estate industry here:

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This Week’s Torah Portion Is Tetzaveh (Exodus 27:20-30:10)

Watch the complete video.

I discuss the weekly Torah portion with Rabbi Rabbs every Monday at 7pm PST on my live cam and YouTube.

This week’s Torah portion is Parashat Tetzaveh (Exodus 27:20-30:10).

* Do you find some Torah portions more interesting than others? These sanctuary details are hard to get through.

* Being natural is not a Torah ideal (Dennis Prager). Clothing is civilization. I had a friend who was an Orthodox nudist, the only one I’ve known.

* Purity, separation, distinction are major themes of this week’s parsha and all of Torah. What you wear matters. Some things in life, such as the altar, are more holy than others.

* This week’s Torah portion introduces the office of priest. Do we need such holy men? Do you like Roman Catholic priests and nuns in their habits?

* There are no benefits to being a priest or a rabbi in Judaism. There are only obligations.

* Priests are to be obsessed with life and to have nothing to do with the dead.

* Priests have to wash their feet and hands before going into service.

* A physically blemished priest can not serve in the sanctuary.

* Priests can’t marry hookers or divorcees. Widows are fine, except for the high priest.

* Divination forbidden. Substitute Urim/Thummim, but it could only be used by the national leader on national questions. It’s use died out with King David.

* Does Judaism care about art? There’s verse after verse about artistic details for the sanctuary. After the destruction of the temple, is art unnecessary?

* The Jews used artistic beauty to come to God. Is secular art dangerous?

* In Judaism, you can’t live a religious life alone.

* We have more “spiritual” people than ever before. People want to build their own tabernacles to God.

* This new Jewish religion burns rams and bulls, gods in Egypt. It would be like burning the Academy Awards (Dennis Prager).

* You can’t perpetuate values without rituals.

* Why is Africa such a wasteland?

* Ex. 29:46: And they shall know I am God. If Jews do not do the Torah, the world won’t know God.

* If you wear holy garb and you’re a jerk, that’s terrible!

* Always ask yourself if what you are doing is bringing you closer to God.

* Judaism uses all five senses. The Sabbath, for example, has distinctive smells. Passover has particular tastes.

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Jewish News

From TorahMusings.com:

The Human Spirit: Long-distance learning
The rabbi and imam, no joke
Do Israelis Speak Hebrew or Israeli?
Rabbi who allegedly made homophobic remarks remains police chaplain
Interview with R. David Bigman
OU convention audio and video
SALT Friday
Schneerson Library dispute
Support for choice means results
R. Dr. Adam Ferziger on non-Jews in Conservative synagogues
Marriage and Jewish Law: The Kohein’s Conundrum
Jews and the AFL
Classic Israeli authors bumped from religious curriculum
District Court sets precedent by upholding right of ‘aguna’
Michael Jackson’s rabbi tells all
Jewish ‘Library of Congress’ bounces back from debt
SALT Thursday
Exit Joe: Lieberman and His Legacy (including a piece from Rabbi Genack
What’s in a name? Everything!
Gen-Y is hungry
The Next Haredi Ban: Facebook
Court: Woman had no right to leave on head scarf
No Jewish child left behind
$5M suit over Jimmy Carter’s ‘Palestine’ book
Englewood Charter Garners Major Orthodox Supporters
SALT Wednesday
Jewish philanthropists help people with disabilities
In switch, Brooklyn College will hire adjunct on Mideast
Rabbis sign on to battle with Beck
Minyan 2.0
Cyrus, Ahmadinejad, and the Politics of Purim
SALT Tuesday
Online course analyzes Agnon’s stories
New start-up: Kosher clothing stores
Haredi world mulls acceptance of civil unions
Yemeni Jewish Child Kidnapped in Amran

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The Stupidest Things I Tell Myself

I talk to myself constantly and much of it is bloody stupid.

I was just lying down and thinking about my life and the dumb things I’ve told myself over the past forty years.

They include:

* You can get away with it!
* They’ll never know!
* You’re special!
* The rules don’t apply to you!
* I’m a writer and I can go anywhere and do anything because it is all for my art!
* There’s a new sheriff in town!
* This isn’t really cheating!
* I’ve changed!
* Why don’t they like me?
* It’s hopeless!
* I’m sunk!
* I’m invincible!
* More attention for me!
* Wouldn’t I look interesting if I went in this direction?

I went through feelings of frustration, anger and despair today/this week/year/decade as I struggle to belatedly take care of things I should’ve tackled decades ago. Much of this work (psycho-therapy, Alexander Technique, addressing my sleep problems, financial issues) is not immediately rewarding.

Most of the things I’ve been battling of late are not getting solved. The turbinate reduction surgery I had a few months ago? Well, the problem I had breathing through my nose while lying down has returned full force.

I’ve ordered a CPAP but my doctor won’t give me a prescription until I undergo more testing.

I was just so frustrated, angry and helpless this afternoon as I ran into these technical recording problems and I knew it wasn’t the technical problems that enraged me but rather my life position. I feel like I am running in circles and getting no closer to leaving my hole. I would’ve wailed and cried if that had done any good, but instead I did ten minutes of active rest and labored on.

Then I took a break after a few hours and wrote in my journal. I find it calming to write out my thoughts and fears. I get to see my self-talk and how silly much of it is. Then I write out things I am grateful for and this makes me happy.

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I Just Bought My Very Own CPAP Machine

Here it is!

It is for my sleep apnea. My overnight sleep study revealed my apnea is worst when I am about to fall asleep, which is why I keep waking up gasping for breath, adrenalin racing. Once I’m sleeping solidly, my apnea is not so bad. I slept great one night with a borrowed CPAP.

Khunrum emails: Buddy are you still wearing the leg braces for (forgot what it was)?

I have sleep apnea as well but I don’t use the machine. I don’t use anything. I tried those strips over the nose but I have a Caucasian beak which refuses to flatten. My dentist made me a sort of plastic mouth piece which pushes the jaw forward. That worked rather well until I dreamed I was eating Texas barbeque one night and chewed it to smithereens. I make large noises which keeps my dear wives awake (sometimes). I’ve known many people who have purchased those CPAP devices and gave up after a week or two. Hold on to your receipt, you might want a refund.

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The Coupling Of God With Morality

Dennis Prager writes:

When confronted with Judaism’s (and logic’s) insistence on a transcendent source of morality, the most frequently offered argument by those committed to a godless moral world is: “More people have been killed by religions in the name of God than by anything else.”

This line is, quite simply, false. It is not an opinion with which I happen to differ. It is just false. The fact is that far more people have been murdered — not to mention enslaved and tortured — by secular anti-religious regimes than by all the God-based groups in history.

Mao-Tse Tung’s atheistic regime in China killed between 40 million and 70 million people.

Joseph Stalin’s atheistic regime in the Soviet Union killed 20 million or more people.

Pol Pot’s atheistic regime in Cambodia killed about one out of every four Cambodians.

The North Korean atheistic regime has killed millions of its own people.

Nazism, an irreligious racist doctrine, killed as many as 17 million civilians.

The Hutus slaughtered Tutsis in Rwanda for ethnic and tribal reasons, not religious ones.

The 5.4 million Congolese killed in the last decade has nothing to do with religion.

And at this moment, as regards Jews and the greatest Jewish existential question — that of Israel’s survival — the more religious the American Christian, the more likely he or she is to support Israel, while the greatest enmity toward Israel emanates from the center of secularism, the university.

Those who claim that God-based societies have killed more than any others regularly cite the Crusades and the Inquisition. But this, too, proves my point. First, these events occurred 1,000 years ago and 500 years ago, respectively. If God-belief is such a source of murder, why the need to use examples from so long ago? Second, the Crusades were essentially Christendom’s war to re-conquer the holy places that Muslims had conquered in their wars of aggression against Christianity. Unless one holds that all wars are immoral, this one was not particularly so. What was particularly immoral was the massacring of Jewish communities in Germany by Crusaders on their way to the Holy Land; though even here, one should note that those massacres were never directed by the Church, and that Jews regularly hid in the homes of bishops.

As for the Inquisition, the largest number of executions I have seen for the Inquisition period of 1540-1700 is 3,000. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, the Hutus in Rwanda, all murdered more in a day than the Inquisition murdered in 160 years.

Today, when one thinks of murder in the name of God, one thinks of Islamic terror. And one is right to. But radical Islam has nothing to do with the Torah or any Judeo-Christian belief system, and its Allah is not the God of the Torah or of the New Testament. Indeed, its adherents target Jews and Christians.

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Put Leftist Speech In The Crosshairs

Dennis Prager writes:

The most common left-wing objection to the right is that it wants to control others’ lives. But, both in America and elsewhere, the threat to personal liberty has emanated far more from the left.

In the past generation, the left has controlled so much speech and behavior that these controls are now assumed to be a normal part of life.

Through the use of public opprobrium, laws and lawsuits, Americans today are less free than at any time since the abolition of slavery (with the obvious exception of blacks under Jim Crow).

Public opprobrium is known as political correctness, and it has suppressed saying anything — no matter how true and no matter how innocent — that offends left-wing sensibilities.

“Merry Christmas” offends leftist views on multiculturalism. So, it’s largely gone.

Honest discussion of male-female differences is also largely gone — a lesson the former president of Harvard Larry Summers painfully learned when he simply asked if fewer women succeed in math and science because of innate differences between men and women.

Discussion of disproportionate rates of black violence is not allowed, no matter how well intentioned — unless it is to “prove” how racist America is because of the high number of black men in prison.

In Europe — and in all likelihood coming to America — Christians who, citing the Bible, argue for a heterosexual ideal are arrested.

Thanks to the left, students at colleges get speech codes. They learn early in life that much speech is not permitted.

One may not favorably compare Western or American culture with that of any other. Led by Jesse Jackson, leftists chanted, “Hey, hey, ho, ho, Western Civ has got to go” at Stanford University. And away it went.

The left owns the language. Married women are not to be referred to as “Mrs.” but as “Ms.” And the words “lady,” “feminine” and “masculine” have largely gone to their graves. High school and college teams with American Indian names must drop those names because by definition, according to the left, they offend American Indians.

(This last example has always perplexed me. Why does the name Florida State Seminoles offend Indians? One caller to my radio show once responded to that question by asking me how I would feel as a Jew if some team took the name “Jews.” I told him that I would be thrilled. For nearly 4,000 years, Jews have been looking for fans.)

Back to leftist controls on speech: One can only speak of male-female differences if the difference shows the female as superior. Thus to say women are innately more intuitive is perfectly acceptable, but to say men are innately more likely to excel at math is “sexist.”

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Studying Torah With Girlz

Late at night, I like to put on my BeeGees Greatest Hits CD and remember happier days when my hovel was filled with beautiful young women talking Torah:

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