New York Is Quiet – We Have Our Shvartzes Under Control!

From my live chat:

Emma:  How is your day going Chaimy?
YourMoralLeader:  Hymie
ChaimAmalek:  Like any of my post-sexual days
YourMoralLeader:  did she make a slur?
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  How are things in Hymie town?
Emma:  Hymie?
ChaimAmalek:  (Luke, I fear she’s another Jew hating antisemite….like all hot shiksas…doing this only to spite the Jewish woman!)
Emma:  lol… I dont hate jews
YourMoralLeader:  prove it to this jew!
Emma:  Jes are freinds
ChaimAmalek:  Things are quiet in NY.  We have our shvartzes under control
ChaimAmalek:  Of course, it might be the quiet before the storm, much like India before the great Sepoy Rebellion
ChaimAmalek:  You can never tell what those people are thinking.  Just look at Rev. Wright
ChaimAmalek:  Luke, is it too soon for you to begin thinking about Miley Cyrus?
ChaimAmalek:  About how you would bring her closer to God?
YourMoralLeader:  who dat?
ChaimAmalek:  See Emma, he exists on a higher plane.
Emma:  Ahuh
ChaimAmalek:  I am trying to package Luke for reality TV, but that’s the problem
Emma:  Package him?
ChaimAmalek:  Sell him as a concept to the Jews who run television
Emma:  Ah
YourMoralLeader:  What’s the problem?
Emma:  lol
ChaimAmalek:  They say he is not authentic enough
ChaimAmalek:  Or they want to tart it up with slutty females
ChaimAmalek:  I want it kept on a higher plane
YourMoralLeader:  Emma’s as tarty as I wll go
ChaimAmalek:  Gawker has an interesting article about a Dartmouth lecturer who is suing . . . her students for being racist and violating Title 7
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, I admit that even though I am postsexual, I still try to fool the ladies into thinkingI got game.  So when I go out, I sometimes wear women’s perfume so that women willthink I am dating women.  I ask you as a disinterested third party, how effectiv
ChaimAmalek:  is that strategy?
Emma:  lmao
Emma:  Its pathetic
ChaimAmalek:  You sure?
Emma:  Yes
YourMoralLeader:  That is pathetic
YourMoralLeader:  sheesh
YourMoralLeader:  do you smear lipstick on your cheek too?
Emma:  lol
Emma:  LMAO
ChaimAmalek:  I mean, if you meet a man and he has perfume on him, don’t you think "it seems that other women are into him and have slimed him with their scent, so maybe I should get me some of that"
YourMoralLeader:  yeah?
Emma:  I would think… (what a faggot)
ChaimAmalek:  I am hurt
Emma:  lol
Emma:  Sorry
Emma:  Keep doing it Chaim
Emma:  You may get lucky
ChaimAmalek:  How about having a box of sanitary napkins on the floor of my car?
Emma:  Wow
ChaimAmalek:  Emma, luck is where preparation meets opportunity
Emma:  You really are desperate

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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