Category Archives: Personal

Wahe Guru – What Have You Done To Me?

I’m in yoga. I went to be flexible for my Torah class later in the evening, flexible enough to see alternative readings of the sacred text, alternative interpretations, alternative ways out of religious obligation. We’re asked to move our mats … Continue reading

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The Bad Jew

"Would you carry this?" she asks. We’re outside the Santa Monica Co-Op on Broadway, a few blocks from where I had a passionate one-year fling with a gorgeous shiksa who was ten years my junior, five times more flexible, one-quarter … Continue reading

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I’ve Got A Clean Story

I was walking today with several students of the Alexander Technique when I made a sudden announcement, "Hey, I’ve got a clean story." Everybody turned to me and stared. And then they started laughing. After I relayed my story, about … Continue reading

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Clean Cups, Dirty Hearts

A friend calls. "I saw a bunch of Orthodox Jews walking today. I said to my brother, ‘Clean cups, dirty hearts." Luke: "What does that mean?" Friend: "It means that their cups are clean because of Talmudic rule 1378 but … Continue reading

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‘I’d Date You If…’

She came into my chatroom this week and said she was a 25 year old Persian Jew living in Brentwood. She said she’d been reading me for a while. She wanted to know why I kept beating up on the … Continue reading

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I Offered To Bring Cocoa Krispies

I was invited to Shabbat dinner at the home of friends. "What should I bring?" I asked. I got the answer: "Hmmm one of Levi’s classics." "I’ll bring Cocoa Krispies," I replied. I still have three bowls from LimmudLA 2008 … Continue reading

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A Bit Much To Handle

I once met this nice girl who made me laugh and I made her laugh and I thought everything was great until she said, "I think you’re funny and nice, but you’re a bit much to handle." And she left … Continue reading

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Yes, We Can!

Courtesy of Dennis Wilen:

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I Love A Pale Pure Face

I know this is wrong, but I am highly attracted to demure chicks. I love a pale pure face and I want to write all over it with my words. I love meeting a woman of honor who’s single and … Continue reading

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I’m Live On Cam!

Click here to join the fun! My LimmudLA 2009 report. WELSHDRAGON:  luke was a great looking guy, with a little bit of just 4 men he could get back to his prime palestine4ever:  I’ve been saying almost exactly the same … Continue reading

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