I Offered To Bring Cocoa Krispies

I was invited to Shabbat dinner at the home of friends.

"What should I bring?" I asked.

I got the answer: "Hmmm one of Levi’s classics."

"I’ll bring Cocoa Krispies," I replied.

I still have three bowls from LimmudLA 2008 when I was given packages of them to take home and give to a homeless shelter, which I interpreted as meaning my hovel.

The word came back that I should bring challah.

So I go to Elat Market Friday morning and pick up a raisin challah, but when I bring it with me at 7 pm Friday, I find out I was expected to bring two plain challah loaves. Oy ve! That is so obvious. Of course you need two challah loaves to make hamotzi. How could I have been so dumb? I’ll not make that mistake again.

Just as I was starting to overcome that shame, one of the hosts announced: "Levi used to write for the porn industry."

That was a long awkward silence.

"He wrote it in a book!" my host defended.

Eventually I got into a conversation with a young woman who told me after five minutes, "No more questions!"

I get that a lot.

When I started joking about making out with the younger sister of my friend, I got told, "Levi! Inhibit!"

Imagine that! My very own Alexander Technique language getting used against me.

Three hours is about my limit for socializing and I came home at 10 pm.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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