‘I’d Date You If…’

She came into my chatroom this week and said she was a 25 year old Persian Jew living in Brentwood. She said she’d been reading me for a while. She wanted to know why I kept beating up on the very Orthodox rabbis who could make me "one of us."

"How did you know my weakness for the Persian-Jewess?" I responded.

"Don’t play games with me," she wrote. "I’d date you if you could find me one Orthodox rabbi who’d speak well of you. Just one."

"I’ll tell you when I meet you," I said.

"Don’t think you can bargain with me," she replied. "I’m tired of your b——."

She then kicked my butt up one end of the chatroom and down the other.

"We have a friend in common," she said, and then named a woman in my community I’ve never spoken to beyond a brief "Gut Shabbos."

And then this putative friend came into my chatroom tonight. Or at least used that name.

Good thing I live for higher values than girls or I’d be all discombobulated right now.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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