Category Archives: Personal

I’m BAAAAACK!

JUDEN OF LOS ANGELES – I HAVE RETURNED!  A panel of indisputably authentic torah gadols has certified that I am one of you, which means that I am now perfectly free to move in your circles, pray in your temples, … Continue reading

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Thanks For Lunch!

I email a friend: "Thank you for lunch! It was delicious, as was your conversation… You look amazing for a woman of your age." She responds: "Nice neg." I respond: "I didn’t know you knew about negs…" She resonds: "I’m … Continue reading

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Her Deepest Darkest Fantasy

I have a woman whose deepest darkest fantasy is to see me kiss another woman. What if she wants me to kiss more than one? The prospect of making out with a whole string of beautiful young women fills me … Continue reading

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Only Five More Days To Nominate Me For Jewish Community Hero

It’s time to shake up the stuffed shirts and to give some overdue recognition to my prodigious servicing of the Jewish people. Vote now. Vote early. Vote often.

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Despite Swollen Knee, Brave Blogger Still Declares Himself 100%

I injured my right knee racing across Pico Blvd in 2002 after a first date with a girl at Milk n Honey. We were driving separately to that great theater on Sunset Blvd, the Arclight. Ever since then, my knee … Continue reading

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I’m Ready To Release My Own Line Of Yoga Videos

I’m a certified instructor in mystical yoga. All I need is enough hot chix to fill the hovel, all wearing spandex and attentive expressions. I’ll talk for a few minutes about spirituality and then launch into a provocative series of … Continue reading

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The 12 Questions Goyim Ask Luke About Judaism

From my live cam: Casey:  I have about 12 questions.  I tried to make it 9, a propos of Prager… but… YourMoralLeader:  ok Casey:  #1) who was the narrator?  I mean, I thought I detected that you were writing this … Continue reading

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Reconnecting With The Ex

Helpful emails: "Has anyone ever successfully reconnected with an ex? I have never. It’s a dead end. Trust me." Khunrum emails: I’ve had them come around again not ready to "put out" but looking for another free dinner. I ran … Continue reading

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Interpretative Dance

I started with a new therapist this week. "I want to do an interpretative dance about my childhood," I said. "OK," she said. I stood up tall and then threw my hands above my head to stop the beating. I … Continue reading

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My Gratitude To My Friends

I have about the most flexible ethics around. It must be all the yoga. It’s way too easy for me to justify doing anything that feels good. Hence, I consistently act like a pig in my own community of Pico-Robertson. … Continue reading

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