Happy people are all alike; every unhappy person is unhappy in his own way.
Happy people enjoy ways of living that:
* are conducive to serenity and tranquility, seeing people in their proper genre so they don’t disappoint you, accepting circumstances for what they are…
* provide an accurate sense of your own importance
* have over-arching purpose greater than yourself
* get along with others. We all depend upon the tolerance of those we live and work around, so if they gang up on us, we’re finished
* give energy and passion that lifts you beyond pleasure-seeking
* is filled with integrity, meaning the different parts of your life work together to create a unified whole. Usually this is accompanied by an attitude of everyone knows everything so there’s no point to trying to get away with things.
* allows you to enjoy solitude
* helps you avoid needless conflicts
* encourages flexibility and adaptability, so that when a pandemic hits, you plunge into things you haven’t had time for previously, so when one door closes, you look for the door that’s opening
* tracks their time, earning and spending
* are open to learning from others
* are free from compulsions to prove things to others
* avoid exertion/exhaustion
* allow one to feel at ease with oneself, others and the universe
* “The more disciplined your environment is, the less disciplined you need to be. Don’t swim upstream.” (James Clear)
* Here are more thoughts from James Clear:
Most people need consistency more than they need intensity.
Intensity:
-run a marathon
-write a book in 30 days
-silent meditation retreat
Consistency:
-don’t miss a workout for 2 years
-write every week
-daily silence
Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress.
* Real wealth is not about money.
Real wealth is:
-not having to go to meetings
-not having to spend time with jerks
-not being locked into status games
-not feeling like you have to say “yes”
-not worrying about others claiming your time and energy
Real wealth is about freedom.
* The ultimate productivity hack is saying no.
* How to Be Unhappy:
-stay inside all day
-move as little as possible
-spend more than you earn
-take yourself (and life) too seriously
-look for reasons why things won’t work
-always consume, never contribute
-resent the lucky and successful
-never say hello first
-be unreliable
* Invert for happiness:
-get outside each day
-move: walk, exercise, dance
-spend less than you earn
-view life as play
-be the one who looks for solutions
-develop a bias to contribute and create
-learn from the lucky and successful
-be the first to say hello
-be reliable
* Your 1st blog post will be bad, but your 1000th will be great.
Your 1st workout will be weak, but your 1000th will be strong.
Your 1st meditation will be scattered, but your 1000th will be focused.
Put in your reps.
* Read books that are relevant to what you want to achieve and reading will never seem boring.
* You elicit from the world what you put into it.
Want to attract reliable people? Be reliable.
Want to attract trustworthy people? Be trustworthy.
Want to attract welcoming people? Be welcoming.
Want to attract exceptional people? Be exceptional.
* The easy way is often the hard way.
Shortcuts, one-sided deals, and selfish behavior create debts. You only look like a winner until the bill comes due. Short-term actions become long-term frustrations.
In hindsight, the hard way only seems hard in the moment.
* When the world doesn’t make sense, it is a signal that you need to learn.
* Characteristics of secure attachment: “Secure attachment is an adult attachment style that is characterized by a positive view of the self, others, and relationships. An adult attachment style is the way in which adults in a romantic relationship relate to each other. They usually come from positive, supportive childhood backgrounds. They are able to reflect on their childhood experiences, both good and bad. Adults with secure attachments are comfortable with being intimate with other people and enjoy intimate relationships. They are secure both with themselves and in their relationships. The relationships of individuals who are securely attached tend to be warm, trusting, and last for a long time. The partners are aware of themselves and what they are feeling. Individuals with secure attachment have low anxiety and do not avoid getting close to others. Securely attached adults have positive self-worth and believe that they are worthy of being loved. They also are accepting and responsive to others.”
Secure people shy away from those who needlessly hurt them. They don’t return for more abuse.
Posted inAddiction|Comments Off on A Life That Works
Germany has a problem. For years, politicians and security chiefs rejected the notion of any far-right infiltration of the security services, speaking only of “individual cases.” The idea of networks was dismissed. The superiors of those exposed as extremists were protected. Guns and ammunition disappeared from military stockpiles with no real investigation.
The government is now waking up. Cases of far-right extremists in the military and the police, some hoarding weapons and explosives, have multiplied alarmingly. The nation’s top intelligence officials and senior military commanders are moving to confront an issue that has become too dangerous to ignore.
The problem has deepened with the emergence of the Alternative for Germany party, or AfD, which legitimized a far-right ideology that used the arrival of more than a million migrants in 2015 — and more recently the coronavirus pandemic — to engender a sense of impending crisis.
Why does Germany have this problem? Why now? What is it in response to? A best-selling book published in Germany in 2010 (but never translated and published in English) offers a clue — Germany Abolishes Itself. According to Wikipedia: “Sarrazin argued for restricting Muslim immigration to Germany on the grounds that Muslims who had immigrated to Germany from Turkey and other Muslim countries had failed to assimilate into German society, lived culturally separate lives in densely Muslim neighborhoods, and that two thirds of Germany’s Muslim immigrants were on welfare.”
Most concerning to the authorities is that the extremists appear to be concentrated in the military unit that is supposed to be the most elite and dedicated to the German state, the special forces, known by their German acronym, the KSK.
I would expect that those most willing to sacrifice their lives to protect their people are the least friendly to multi-culturalism. People don’t sacrifice for a state as much as they will for specific people. One reason that Germany soldiers have been so formidable in the past century is that they have typically come from the same parts of the country and thus feel a fierce loyalty to each other.
In many cases, soldiers have used the networks to prepare for when they predict Germany’s democratic order will collapse. They call it Day X. Officials worry it is really a pretext for inciting terrorist acts, or worse, a putsch.
“For far-right extremists, the preparation of Day X and its precipitation blend into one another,” Martina Renner, a lawmaker on the homeland security committee of the German Parliament, told me.
The ties, officials say, sometimes reach deep into old neo-Nazi networks and the more polished intellectual scene of the so-called New Right. Extremists are hoarding weapons, maintaining safe houses, and in some cases keeping lists of political enemies.
A Germany bent on abolishing itself will inevitably have a Day X.
Some German news media have referred to a “shadow army,” drawing parallels to the 1920s, when nationalist cells within the military hoarded arms, plotted coups and conspired to overthrow democracy.
When the current system doesn’t work, people will seek alternatives.
Under the headline, the Times writes: “Germany worries about a problem of far-right infiltration at the heart of its democracy.”
I would think in a democracy, citizens infiltrating the state is the whole point of this particular system of government, unless these citizens have an allegiance to a political ideology that is illegal. What if the only system of governance that could preserve Germany is currently illegal? Then those who want to preserve their people have the choice of giving up or infiltrating the rotting structure of the current state.
“I would estimate the number of soldiers in European armed forces that also belong to nationalist groups to number in the hundreds of thousands, with just as many employed in law enforcement positions,” Mr. [Brendan] Tarrant had written.
That makes sense. These people may be the only hope for Europe.
But investigating the problem is itself fraught: Even the military counterintelligence agency, charged with monitoring extremism inside the armed forces, may be infiltrated.
Do those who support the current system have the same dedication as those opposed? I doubt it. People don’t risk death for constitutions and democratic values.
“If the very people who are meant to protect our democracy are plotting against it, we have a big problem,” said Stephan Kramer, president of the domestic intelligence agency in the state of Thuringia. “How do you find them?”
“These are battle-hardened men who know how to evade surveillance because they are trained in conducting surveillance themselves,” he added.
“What we are dealing with is an enemy within.”
If at core these insurgents are anti-social, then they will collapse from within like the American Alt Right. If at core these insurgents are pro-social, then maybe they deserve to triumph.
It was never easy to be a soldier in postwar Germany. Given its Nazi history and the destruction it foisted on Europe in World War II, the country maintains a conflicted relationship to its military.
For decades, Germany tried to forge a force that represented a democratic society and its values. But in 2011 it abolished conscription and moved to a volunteer force. As a result, the military increasingly reflects not the broad society, but a narrower slice of it.
General Kreitmayr said that “a big percentage” of his soldiers are eastern Germans, a region where the AfD does disproportionately well. Roughly half the men on the list of KSK members suspected of being far-right extremists are also from the east, he added.
Good luck trying to forge an armed service around democratic values. That’s thin gruel for people risking their lives.
Officials talk of a perceptible shift “in values” among new recruits. In conversations, the soldiers themselves, who could not be identified under the unit’s guidelines, said that if there was a tipping point in the unit, it came with the migrant crisis of 2015.
As hundreds of thousands of asylum seekers from Syria and Afghanistan were making their way to Germany, the mood on the base was anxious, they recalled.
“We are soldiers who are charged with defending this country and then they just opened the borders, no control,” one officer recalled. “We were at the limit.”
For every action, there’s reaction.
One night in 2017, Little Sheep, the sergeant major whose weapons stash was uncovered in May, was among about 70 KSK soldiers of Second Company who had gathered at a military shooting range.
Investigators have identified him only as Philipp Sch. He and the others had organized a special leaving party for a lieutenant colonel, a man celebrated as a war hero for shooting his way out of an ambush in Afghanistan while carrying one of his men.
The colonel, an imposing man covered in Cyrillic tattoos who enjoys cage-fighting in his spare time, had to complete an obstacle course. It involved hacking apart tree trunks and throwing severed pig heads.
As a prize, his men had flown in a woman. But the colonel ended up dead drunk. The woman, rather than being his trophy, went to the police.
Standing by the fire with a handful of soldiers, she had witnessed them singing neo-Nazi lyrics and raising their right arm. One man stood out for his enthusiasm, she recalled in a televised report by the public broadcaster ARD. She called him the “Nazi grandpa.”
This group sounds anti-social and will probably fall apart on its own. Drunks and addicts don’t have the right stuff to change society because they can’t even control themselves.
Conspicuously missing is any mention of a disgraced former KSK commander, Gen. Reinhard Günzel, who was dismissed after he wrote a 2003 letter in support of an anti-Semitic speech by a conservative lawmaker.
General Günzel subsequently published a book called “Secret Warriors.” In it, he placed the KSK in the tradition of a notorious special forces unit under the Nazis that committed numerous war crimes, including massacres of Jews. He has been a popular speaker at far-right events.
“What you basically have is one of the founding commanders of the KSK becoming a prominent ideologue of the New Right,” said Christian Weissgerber, a former soldier who has written a book about his own experience of being a neo-Nazi in the military.
What exactly was this anti-Semitic speech? It was delivered by Martin Hohmann, who was then a member of the CDU. According to Wikipedia:
He attracted public attention with a speech on German Unity Day on October 3, 2003. He set out to repudiate the supposed accusation that during the Holocaust, the Germans were considered a “nation of perpetrators” (German: Tätervolk, a term which was later named German Un-Word of the Year by a jury of linguistic scholars).[1] To his end, he elaborated at length on the involvement of Jews in the violent 1917 Russian Revolution.
Hohmann starts from noting a strong sense of self-contempt among Germans and quotes Hans-Olaf Henkel, the vice president of the Federation of German Industry, who has stated that “Our original sin paralyzes the country”. Hohmann thinks that an undue occupation with Germany’s past—which he distinguishes from a necessary admission and remembrance of German crimes—lies behind discrimination against fellow-countrymen. Among examples, he mentions the refusal of German government officials to consider demanding compensations by Russia, Poland and the Czech Republic on behalf of forced German labourers in World War II, in the same way as Germany pays compensation for those they forced to labor camps.
He notes that, while the notion of collective guilt is usually denied, it is very much applied to Germans. Other nations tend to white-wash their history, like the French who hail the bloody French revolution as some kind of emancipation and the imperialist dictator Napoleon as a benevolent father of the people. The Germans, on the other hand are depicted in black and white as perpetrators and their enemies as innocent lambs. He vehemently denies the thesis of Daniel Goldhagen about a general German complicity in Hitler’s politics.
To illustrate his point, that this treatment of Germans is absurd, he draws a parallel with Jews, who, he argues with painstaking submission of evidence, have, to a remarkable extent taken part in communist activities, such as the Russian revolution. Hohmann states: “Thus one could describe Jews with some justification as a nation of perpetrators…Judged by these facts, it would feel justified to call the Jews a people of ‘perpetrators’.” His conclusion is: “That may sound terrible. But it would still follow the same logic, as the one used to call the Germans a people of perpetrators.” To make it clear that the judgement follows only if you accept the premises he is out for demolishing, he explains that “neither the Germans nor the Jews can be termed a nation of perpetrators”.
Hohmann goes on to note that the Jews who participated in revolutionary activities where such who had been alienated from their religion and heritage—a trait, he observes, they shared with national socialists. The target of his speech, hence, is secularisation. “Because of that neither ‘Germans’, nor ‘Jews’ are a people of perpetrators. It can be said with every justification, though, that: The Godless, with their godless ideologies were the perpetrators of this last, bloody, Century.”
That 2003 speech sounds much more anti-secular than anti-Jewish.
Posted inGermany|Comments Off on Germany Confronts The Enemy Within
“I need you like the flower needs the rain
You know I need you, guess I’ll start it all again
You know I need you like the winter needs the spring
You know I need you, I need you”
As a teen, what I most wanted to tell the girls who entranced me was “I need you.” I’m not sure if I ever said this to anyone, but it would rise up inside of me whenever I’d see the one who made my problems disappear.
I’m sure my neediness poured out of me, even without words, and was obvious to anyone with discernment. I moved to California in May of 1977 and began sixth grade in the fall and quickly people began calling me “insecure.” That was not a term thrown around much in my home country of Australia.
Listening to this song today, I remember my old yearning for someone to complete me. My favorite songs in the 1980s were love-sick anthems by groups such as Air Supply and ABBA.
I was often been told to think of others. That never did me much good. Until I could rewire my thinking, I was stuck for decades in a desperate search for attention. I was like a wounded soldier who could not care for others until he could get his own bleeding staunched.
To tell me as a teen that I should not have felt this way would not have done me any good. People don’t usually heal from being reprimanded and ridiculed. Happy people naturally think of others while unhappy people can’t sustain this for long.
Looking back at age 54, I’d like to tell my teenage self that this yearning was OK, that it would pass, that I should embrace and accept it, that these feelings were a microdot encompassing my love map, that it was a prompt to accept how desperately I needed a fix, and that nobody, in all likelihood, could provide one for long. Not many people come along who can give you an emotionally corrective experience. All they can do is distract you, or perhaps carry you for a bit.
Feeling lonely in a group of people is a lousy feeling. Company can’t fix loneliness. Loneliness is a learned compulsion that can be unlearned.
When I would reach out to people from a lonely needy place, it did not usually go well. The type of people who would respond to my desperation were often equally sick.
I didn’t know then that nobody could fix me. Sure, people would enter my life and include me and the pain would go away for a while, but my tendencies to loneliness were still written into my mental patterns and that until I did the hard work of rewiring my reactions to stimuli, this yearning would continually pop up, often at the most inconvenient of times.
My dad would tell me that there was no rider that can’t be thrown and no horse that can’t be rode. There’s porn out there that can trigger a hands-free ejaculation. Every untreated addict is vulnerable to situations and substances. Even the addict in recovery is going to stumble at times. With 12 Steps, I find it easier to desist from beating myself up after I’ve slipped, and instead get up and carry on. Sure, some song might come along and trigger a memory, and then all I can do is marvel at how far I’ve come from, and feel gratitude that I made it out of my desperation alive.
Joe says:
I did quite a bit of work on myself starting in my twenties. What were most valuable to me were the books Psychocybernetics by Matthew Maltz, Hypnosis by Leslie Lecron and A guide to rational living by Harper and Ellis. All of these books suggest that our neuroses can be addressed through relaxation, visualization and reprogramming, (Maltz) self hypnosis (Lecron) and through semantics by reframing our perceptions and the way we describe events to ourselves, and by not falsely attributing our perceptions to others intentions. I also started therapy which I went to weekly for four or five years. For those who haven’t been to therapy, the process for me went something like the therapist uncritically accepting and agreeing with everything I said, much of which included attribution of motives to others and my fear of how I was being perceived. Finally after months of uncritically listening and accepting what I said, the therapist at the margins was able to suggest alternative ways of looking at things. This was never a head on: You’re wrong, but always a subtle jab at a minor point: Could they have meant that in another way?
After months of this then the real work starts with dismantling the egoistic view of the world. Finally, I began studying Tibetan Buddhism. I did not particularly want to study or practice Buddhism, but I was fascinated by Tibet and how long it had retained its isolation from the rest of the world. The practice of Buddhism and everyday life in Tibet were so intertwined that I could only gain some understanding of it through studying and practicing Buddhism. For anyone who has not studied Buddhism the main emphasis is on learning to meditate. Meditation contrary to what I believed is in fact a way of retaining focus, by having the mind rest on breathing in and out, but being aware of what stimulus the senses are receiving, with the specific practice of if those stimulus distract one from resting on the breath returning to the breath.
This gets to your point about “I need you.” It is very common to think that we are incomplete and a “relationship” will complete you. This can be true if the two persons in the relationship love each other. However, if one party looks to the other to complete him or her and the other does not, then this unrequited love is nothing more than a neurotic projection. If the love is mutual, then there is a level of understanding that undermines the ego. For instance, in a loving relationship, I don’t think it is possible for one party to keep score of anything. Too many persons feel that they are putting too much into the relationship and resent their partner or spouse. In fact if there is communication and something needs to be done, it is done and even if it appears as though it is done for the other person, in fact it is willingly done for the benefit to the relationship.
A corollary to this is that If a person doesn’t like being alone, then what is the reason that person should inflict himself or herself on another. The first order of business for those who want a relationship is to as the Buddhists say, make friends with yourself. Or as therapists say, to accept yourself. Only after you are comfortable with yourself, can you both be comfortable with and make comfortable another.
What are the biggest differences between public Luke and private Luke? Public Luke takes more care to not offend needlessly and to be judicious with his words and deeds. Private Luke usually hates drama, Public Luke often enjoys stirring. Private Luke knows how just under the surface are his strong passions for recognition and for lust. Private Luke and Public Luke both love to provoke, but Private Luke is less constrained in how he does it as the stakes are lower with interpersonal relations as opposed to Youtube relations. Public Luke tries to keep a handle on his passions. The interests of Private Luke and Public Luke are the same. The books and articles I read privately I discuss publicly on my show and blog. I don’t do anything privately that would shock those acquainted with Public Luke. Public Luke, by definition, is often the center of attention, while Private Luke usually is not. Private Luke says a lot of things for shock value and for exploration while Public Luke tamps that down. Private Luke does not think as much before he speaks, does not keep himself as much in check, feels more free to react viscerally and primally.
Private Luke will express his irritation more readily than Public Luke, though if you’ve watched my show and seen what annoys me, you get a pretty good handle on Private Luke.
I feel that there is less distance between Private Luke and Public Luke than ever before. Neither Public Luke nor Private Luke lie (deliberately say things that he knows are not true). I can do 20 hours a week of Youtube broadcasting because I am at ease with myself, others and the universe. I am not hiding anything and I don’t see the outside world as the enemy to be debunked.
Private Luke and Public Luke are equally affected by others. Different company brings out different sides of Luke. Luke easily adapts to changing company and environments, perhaps that is the result of growing up in foster care.
Private Luke is more sensitive than Public Luke.
Private Luke feels that he should be the subject of great movies and PhD dissertations, but then fears that would not be good for him.
Luke wants interaction on his terms. Luke hates conflict and negotiation, preferring to settle things according to the dominance hierarchy.
Public Luke no longer puts on airs that Private Luke finds tiring. Private Luke does not do things that fill Public Luke with fear and Public Luke does not do things that fill Private Luke with fear.
Public Luke tries to avoid offending proprieties that Private Luke could care less about.
Luke has weighed between 172 and 174 pounds since the pandemic. He weighs himself every morning and is not happy to be over 170. When his weight goes to 174, he gets frustrated. He does not want to enter another 12-step program. He wants to take care of this on his own. So far, he’s failing. Luke rides his stationary bike about 5 miles a day, about four to five days a week. He eats three solid meals a day.
Most days Luke feels solid about everything he did that day. Sure, there’s always room for improvement, but he rarely gets shame attacks. It’s a beautiful thing to feel proud of your day, when the spiritual and religious and work and play parts of your life all flow together.
Posted inAddiction, Personal|Comments Off on Private Luke Vs Public Luke
* Like all real women, my wife is a sucker for displays of power, so she loves this stuff and often gets me to watch with her. I like airplanes, so I enjoy it too. No other president has done this kind of thing better than Donald Trump.
* Can you think of another film that shows the leader descending from the heavens like a god, flying over the local landmarks in a plane? Leni could sue for copyright infringement if she were still alive.
* Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it. Cut off the support network and isolate the target from sympathy. Go after people and not institutions; people hurt faster than institutions.
* I appreciate the use of Sweet Child O’ Mine. It is pitch-perfect because in his heart-of-hearts, Trump is a creature of the 80s.
* I’ve been been on the Trump train–talking him up with friends, neighbors–since i read his (Jeff Session’s) immigration policy pitch back in 2015. I’m still on board.
But the bottom line–cut away all the b.s.–is that the delivery problem isn’t just that Trump’s pushing against the Democrats, the state, the new post-1964 constitution. It’s also that Trump has lacked focus on the nationalist agenda that won him the nomination and squeezed out a narrow victory. Poor advisors–nepotism. Ego. Lack of discipline. Too easily rolled. Too confused.
We all knew Trump would be pushing against a corrupt, vile, anti-American, anti-republican, globalist establishment, and that progress would be a grind. But Trump’s lack of focus and discipline in the fight has hindered progress–and the case he can make for re-election. Denying this rather obvious fact is silly.
I’m with Trump because he’s the nationalist we’ve got–warts and all. But we deserve to see him fight hard and smarter.
Posted inAmerica|Comments Off on Trump’s Speech At Mount Rushmore
* We used to have decent investigative journalists in America. Still, at this point, nobody has come up with a clear, logical, convincing story on how Epstein got a hold of so much money. What did he do all those years to acquire that money? The last real job he had was with Bear Stearns in the very early 80s, from which he was fired for some misconduct or another.
* I’ve always assumed Laine was being watched by several I’tel agencies and some US law enforcement and where ever she was it wasn’t anonymous. She could have been picked up any time.
So why now? Can this have anything to do with the election 4 months away? What can Big Bill Barr do to gum up the works and does he even want to? Is she going to be offered bail or have to stay in that joint in NYC Epstein couldn’t survive?
I guess the only thing we know is she has a lot to tell and quite a few people that just wish she’d go away.
* She’s the madame at the center of the mothership of Mossad honeypot operations. So, Robert Maxwell’s daughter will commit suicide just like her dad and Jeffery and her confessions will lay the groundwork for a narrative that reveals the REAL sex-trafficking villains to be The Russians and their controlled asset in The White House.
* I have to admit I’m surprised she was still in the US. Her Dad was an Israeli spy and she was clearly running a spy group for someone.
* I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Berman was fired in the SDNY two weeks before Maxwell was charged in the same district.
Berman impeding an investigation against his co-ethnics? Impossible! That would be like saying Maxwell was seeking refuge at the Israeli Embassy in Paris! Oh wait, nevermind.
* Ghislaine’s action-girl lifestyle – pilot, submariner, international woman of mystery and so forth – shows that even a real-life Lara Croft can’t live beyond the reach of the the law.
Posted inAbuse|Comments Off on Ghislaine Maxwell Arrested
Getting sued is no fun, and there are good practices that you can follow to not only reduce your odds of getting sued, but also to improve the quality of your life and relationships with others.
I have found that a proper understanding of my place in reality, of my relative importance in the various interactions that make up my day, is the best tool for reducing unnecessary conflict and avoiding my character defects of dishonesty, selfishness, self-seeking, inconsideration and fear. We are different people in different emotional states, and so long as I stay out of the states of dishonesty, selfishness, self-seeking, inconsideration and fear, life goes well. Most days most of the time, I feel like I am floating through my day. When there are bumps in the road, there’s usually some part of reality that I am denying (aka I am in a state of dishonesty).
Having the mindset that everybody knows everything helps me to lead a more integrated life and that reduces unnecessary conflict. Previously, I used to take great joy in trying to get away with as much as I could. That did not work out well. Facebook, for example, wants you to use only one profile under your real name, with no title, and that can cover all aspects of your public life. There’s wisdom in that approach. Ideally, you operate in one sphere of your life in ways that will not damage the other spheres of your life. You don’t preach from the pulpit the opposite of what you practice at work. Instead, your hobbies, your loves, your careers and your spiritual pursuits work together to create a positively visible life.
One thing that has consistently hurt me is my lack of care. I am not high in the personality trait of conscientiousness. Knowing that, I do all sorts of things to back up my work and to engage in practices that reduce the bad effects of my sloppiness (if I want to remember to take something with me, I put it where I can’t miss it, I post notes, I set alarms on my phone, etc).
Maintain good communications. …
Avoid giving false expectations. …
Make the client make the hard decisions. …
Document your advice and the client’s decisions. …
Don’t initiate hostilities against the client. …
Avoid, or handle with care, the borderline personality client.
Run, don’t walk, away from unsavory clients.
Do not favor your interests over your clients, or one client’s interests over another’s
Be proactive in addressing client complaints
Carry good liability insurance
1. Suck it up: Clients never liked this piece of advice much, but that doesn’t mean it was wrong. The fact is, people don’t usually like to resort to lawsuits; they are often a choice of last resort born of frustration. In many of the cases I dealt with, the expensive lawsuit could have been avoided if the alleged wrong party was a little more humble and reasonable. But once egos get involved and/or people get mad, once it gets overly emotional, the chance to settle diminishes rapidly.
2. Avoid suing: Once you sue someone, you open the floodgates. They can sue you back. And if they are as angry as you are, they just might. In that case, you will need to hire a lawyer, maybe notify your insurance carrier, deal with discovery, get deposed, etc. If you don’t sue though, it probably does not get that far.
3. Be reasonable: Here, I am talking about reasonableness in the legal sense. Often (not always of course) when a business is sued, the allegation is that they were negligent in some manner. Essentially, negligence means you did not act as a reasonable person would in the same or similar circumstances.
So be reasonable. Be cautious. Double check. Follow standards and rules. Be prompt.
4. Keep your word: As an adjunct to #3, it would similarly behoove you to live up to all of your agreements and not breach them. Aside from negligence suits, breach of contract suits are the most common in business. Even if the contract is difficult to live up to, breaching is rarely the proper solution.
5. Institute policies and procedures
6. Be a mensch: Be a mensch to your employees. Be a mensch to your customers. Be a mensch to your suppliers. People rarely sue menches.
From Investopedia: “Watch What You Say and Do. First of all, when it comes to your business image, owners and their employees should avoid making any public announcements or conducting any business that might be considered questionable. This means avoiding things like libelous or potentially slanderous statements, but it also means not doing business with unscrupulous individuals. You may not think it’s a problem working for a group of individuals who are known for shoddy business practices – because you know your company’s ethics are above reproach – but if they take a hit, your company’s name may be linked to them in the fallout.”
Review for Lawsuit Vulnerability. Review your business and personal practices to identify areas or actions that make it more likely that you will be subject to future legal actions. If possible, cease the activity or end the relationship. If it’s not possible to stop, change it to reduce your vulnerability.
Require Potential Plaintiffs to Assume Responsibility. Companies aggressively and publicly identify possible adverse consequences for the use of their products or services.
Shrink Your Public Profile. Plaintiff attorneys and bill collectors often complain about those people who are “judgment-proof.” In layman’s terms, these are people who have little or no assets exposed to creditors or judgments. Since there is little likelihood of financial benefits, plaintiff attorneys are reluctant to sue such people.
Reduce your allure to future claimants in the following ways:
Transfer Assets. Giving your property to a family trust is a popular way to protect your assets. If you don’t own it, no one can attach it.
Leverage Assets. Borrowing and giving the lender a lien on your property makes collection of a judgment more difficult. A court’s judgment, in most cases, cannot override the rights and priority of a secured creditor or lien holder. In order to take the property, the plaintiff would have to first satisfy the lien. This process can be expensive and cumbersome, an action most plaintiffs are reluctant to pursue unless the difference between the market value of the assets and the loans are substantial…
Lawsuits are generally nasty, often personal affairs. Even if you’re successful in defending the claim against you, you will pay a price financially and emotionally.
Don’t break the law. This may sound like common sense, but thousands of small business owners routinely violate laws by:
Not Registering or Legally Establishing A Business,
Failing to Report Income or File Taxes Properly,
Copyright, Patent, or Trademark Infringement.
Another common reason business owners (especially employers) get sued is because they create documents (employee manuals, contracts, legal forms, and even email communications) that set them up for lawsuits.
It is important that you have someone qualified to help you set up any document that shows or establishes how your business is set up or run.
Keep accurate records
Reputable businesses make it a standard practice to keep accurate records at all times. This process includes recording the time and date of when an agreement was signed, and items discussed at each subsequent meeting. Any communication, including phone calls, emails, and transactions, can be documented. Some businesses limit their record-taking to when a problem occurs that jeopardizes the timely completion of an assignment.
Businesses should have their records state exactly what services were agreed upon with each customer in case of a lawsuit. Those details could include a number of different products or services that were discussed in the negotiating process. Remember, consistent records can be used as a defense in the case of a lawsuit.
Write and implement company policies and procedures
Another important step in protecting your business is properly drafting workplace policies and procedures which may help prevent lawsuits. Instruct your staff to follow these policies because they can be vital in protecting your company. Providing a job manual or employee handbook is the safest route for your employees to learn policies and perform their jobs well.
Be ethical, honest, and moral
It is important that businesses strive to be ethical in their practices every day in order to build a reputation within the community. The goal should be that no client, transaction, or dollar amount is worth jeopardizing your place in the market by bending the rules. Act in a professional manner each time you deal with customers and employees to help prevent being sued.
Provide exceptional customer service
One way to avoid being sued is having great customer service. Some customers may just be upset, and quality customer service can make the difference between calming them down or dealing with a lawsuit. Your staff should be prepared to explain that mistakes are unintentional, but can happen. Proper training with managers and employees can help prevent a lawsuit.
1. Don’t be an asshole. Patients sue when they are angry at their doctors. If you treat people badly, they are more likely to blame you when things go wrong — even when it’s not your fault. Give your patients your time and attention and empathy.
2. Take the time to explain things.
3. Don’t promise anything you can’t deliver.
4. Check your ego and your peer-reviewed references. You do not know everything.
5. Take responsibility for mistakes and apologize.
Link: “When patients perceive their doctors are friendly and helpful, they are much less likely to sue them. Although being warm and friendly does not eliminate any chance of a lawsuit, doctors who are perceived as cold or dismissive are more likely to get hit by a lawsuit. In studies asking them why they sued, plaintiffs cited perceptions that the doctor deserted them, was unhelpful, devalued their views, and didn’t acknowledge their perspective.”
1. If you want to start a company, create a legal entity — it’s dirt cheap.
2. Make it clear in writing that anybody you speak to about the idea does not constitute their contributing to your IP and if they do any work for you please make sure you sign a legal agreement assigning the IP to you.
3. Be formal with every employee contract — even with friends.
4. Make sure you have standard vesting — even before your raise capital. At least one year cliff and four-year vesting. No acceleration. Everybody signs — even you. No “special deals.”
5. Where possible avoid 50-50 ownership. It leads to more problems than I care to say. Nobody talks about this publicly because the fights are too personal so people don’t blog about them. It is insanely common.
6. Be very careful with everything you write in an email or send in a text message. These will be read out loud in a court of law and will be used out of context if needed. Humor is tone deaf in court. I was forced to explain why I say “I switched to the Dark Side” (referring to VC) on my blog. I was continually asked whether I was evil in a serious tone. It’s not crazy to use services like Confide or Cyberdust that delete your messages after you send them.
7. Follow HR protocols. This is something many young founders err on because often they have never worked in a “real” company. If you think you may have to terminate employees always have legal advice. Where possible sign releases in exchange for your providing more benefits or compensation than the law stipulates. Never be mean or bitter for outgoing employees — it never pays.
I spent six years of my twenties largely bedridden. The loneliness that accompanied that lockdown led to some morose thinking and weird behavior. For example, I’d go about in my favorite red-hearts boxer shorts instead of putting on proper clothing.
In isolation, it is easy for me to forget about my appearance and develop a general disregard for the social niceties. Being polite doesn’t come naturally to me, and without the prompts of social interaction, those muscles get weak.
I get extra weird when I’m not interacting with people. It is hard to see how weird one gets, right? It is hard to notice how one is eccentric. How are you eccentric? My weirdness and eccentricity chiefly reveals itself in anti-social and unnecessarily provocative comments. I do it to get a chuckle and have a brief bond. When I am in a good place, those comments are saved for the audience that appreciates them. When I am not in a good place, I am not as discriminating with my shock jock attitude.
When I am lonely, I become more desperate for attention, and this results in attention-seeking behavior, which usually strikes people as weird, and that makes me even more lonely. What is more challenging for me when I am lonely is to get centered, to do my 12-step work, to reconnect to God and to my purpose in life, and then when I feel at ease with myself and the universe, from that place, human connection flows easily. From a desperate needy place, human connection gets frazzled.
Because of the pandemic, I am not as social as I was previously. I am spending less time around others and more time reading books. Have you lost any social skills during the pandemic? Is there a weirdness and eccentricity that has crept into your behavior and tripped you up?
Relationships are so important that when we are alone, they are the thing we often think about. I have thoughts like, Oh, I wonder how Joe would react to this? Would Sandra get a good chuckle over this? I can’t wait to share this with Chaim.
What has helped to keep me sane during this pandemic is the phone, which I use to participate in 12-step meetings, to talk to sponsees, and to keep up with friends.
For many of my friends in Orthodox Judaism, shul on Shabbos morning is the highlight of their week. But with all the restrictions and dangers, many Jews are skipping this, or if they do participate, they don’t enjoy it as much.
I had a friend who started saying a bunch of anti-social things online but he was never that way when he was talking to me. It shows how much of an effect we can have on people — it can be large when we are directly engaging with someone, and then when we leave, the effect goes to zero.
I love this concept: “Intersubjectivity, in philosophy, psychology, sociology, and anthropology, is the psychological relation between people. It is usually used in contrast to solipsistic individual experience, emphasizing the inherent sociality of humans.”
Steve Sailer writes: “Two previous eras of black supremacist ideology — the late 1960s and the early 1990s — both came a-cropper when they got too many Jews peeved at black anti-Semitism. For example, Spike Lee’s soaring movie career got shot down when he satirized Jewish music industry businessmen exploiting black musicians in his 1990 movie Mo’ Better Blues. Spike never got an Oscar until his lame BlacKkKlansman in 2018 added a made-up Jewish hero.
We’ll see whether the pattern repeats a third time…”
Posted inAnti-Semitism, BLM|Comments Off on Sailer: BLM in Trouble with BBC Over Anti-Israel Stance
The authorities have locked down 300,000 people in heavily immigrant areas around Melbourne, reinforcing the coronavirus’s outsized impact on disadvantaged communities….
The rise in infections — Victoria reported 77 new cases Thursday, the most since March — has driven home the outsized impact of the coronavirus on vulnerable communities. In these places, people often must venture out for jobs that put them at risk of contracting the virus, and communication by the authorities in residents’ native languages can be patchy.
As it has elsewhere in the world, the coronavirus found a hole in Australia’s system: It spread in part because of the sharing of a cigarette lighter among security guards working at a hotel where returning international travelers are being quarantined.
It sounds to me like some immigrants are not a blessing. Is “vulnerable communities” a euphemism for low-IQ communities? There aren’t many high IQ security guards. It’s about the lowest paying job around.
So these immigrants can’t speak English? Why would a country like Australia want to admit immigrants who can’t speak English?
In Australia, the coronavirus has taken hold in pockets around Melbourne where government messaging has not always been effective because of language barriers and other problems like distrust of the authorities. Fears of testing for the virus run high, and people may be less able to stay home from casual jobs when ill.
Some of these areas also experience high rates of homelessness and overcrowding, making it difficult for people to adhere to social-distancing guidelines.
Why would Australia want to import these people?
The dangers were foreshadowed in May, when a panel of doctors and experts warned the Australian government that it had missed an opportunity to protect migrant communities.
How much can a government protect people who can’t be bothered to learn to read English and to follow health directions?
Mr. Micallef and other community leaders said communication by the state and federal authorities to high-risk groups had fallen short of what would have been necessary to prevent infections. Some said that translated information took too long to reach them, and was not clear.
“You almost need a university degree to try to understand it,” Mohammad Al-Khafaji, the chief executive of the Federation of Ethnic Communities’ Councils of Australia, said of a multipage document on the coronavirus that the government had translated into Arabic.
Definitely the government’s fault here.
She added that while a first wave of racism related to the coronavirus had targeted people of Asian descent, a second wave against migrant and ethnic communities was emerging because of misconceptions that these groups did not heed public health advice.
Leaders in the Islamic community also said they worried that anti-Muslim sentiment had risen after reports that one of Melbourne’s clusters had originated at an Eid celebration last month.
Where are the misconceptions?
Posted inAustralia|Comments Off on NYT: Australia Thought the Virus Was Under Control. It Found a Vulnerable Spot.
"This guy knows all the gossip, the ins and outs, the lashon hara of the Orthodox world. He’s an [expert] in... all the inner workings of the Orthodox world." (Rabbi Aaron Rakeffet-Rothkoff)